ongoing support for S day wild ones

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:40 pm

I'm continuting to have a problem with wild S days (9 months). I have had some N day failures, but there were weeks and weeks where I had none, and I still pigged out all weekend. I lost 10 lbs. in the first month and have been going up and down 7 lbs. for 8 months. All the tips are good, except if I'm not implementing them. I'm hoping we can have a thread where we support each other to get ready for and get through the weekends. I just can't seem to keep the promises to limit my S events on my own.

marygrace · Post by **marygrace** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:38 pm

Like others will probably say, decide on your treats ahead of time. AND, don't keep anything else in the house. If you want a brownie on Saturday, buy one brownie from the bakery--there's no way you can eat more if there's only one around. If you're baking, halve or quarter recipes if necessary, and/or give extras away to your friends or neighbors. I used to make a batch of cookies at the beginning of the weekend, and would end up eating the entire batch over the course of two days. Of course, I felt gross. So I took out the calculator and started cutting my recipes way, way down. Instead of making 20 cookies, I'll now only make 4 to begin with. I even bought single-serve ramekins for traditonally larger desserts, like fruit crisps or cakes. My husband and I live alone, so there's no need to have an entire pie around =)

Also, I know a lot of people who are having wild S days tend to permasnack. I think the easiest solution is to just not keep snack foods, or anything that could be construed as a snack food, in the house. No pretzels, no half-empty pints of ice cream, no chips. In my house, we really just have raw ingredients with which to make meals--dried beans and grains, vfruit and veggies, flours, oils, condiments, spices, etc (we're vegetarians). We have some nuts and dried fruit, too, which could be snack foods, but when you're used to snacking on bottomless chips or crackers, nuts and dried fruit are too dense to really be appealing. If there's only raw ingredients which which to make meals, you really won't be able to snack.

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:23 pm

I'd join such a thread. I was on a WW "getting ready for the weekend" board once, and it helped a lot.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:00 pm

I don't think I can be as strict as suggested before, though I don't have a lot of that stuff around. I start with great intentions/ plans, but I end up going out and buying the stuff anyway or eating it in the car, or whatever. I somehow don't know how to fill my time the same way I can on N days. I know a lot of it is emotional--boredom, loneliness, stress because I now have the free time to accomplish things I should but reluctance to do them because I hate them! etc.

Ok, more later, Kathi and others! Start thinking the thoughts we need!

marygrace · Post by **marygrace** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:19 pm

oolala53 wrote:I don't think I can be as strict as suggested before, though I don't have a lot of that stuff around. I start with great intentions/ plans, but I end up going out and buying the stuff anyway or eating it in the car, or whatever. I somehow don't know how to fill my time the same way I can on N days. I know a lot of it is emotional--boredom, loneliness, stress because I now have the free time to accomplish things I should but reluctance to do them because I hate them! etc.

Ok, more later, Kathi and others! Start thinking the thoughts we need!

Do you work Monday-Friday? Assuming so, you do have a lot more time on your hands to fill on the weekend! Hanging out around the house can make it really easy to eat.

You say you start out with good intentions and plans, but end up going out and buying the stuff anyway. Do you live with anyone who you could help hold you accountable? In the past, I knew I had hit a low point when I was sneaking snacks while my husband was in the shower so he couldn't see me. I'd kept complaining that I needed to lose weight, get healthy, etc., and when he was around, it appeared that I was trying to do that. He would help me--when I started talking about wanting a snack or sweet, he'd remind me of my intentions. But then I'd stuff my face with half a tub of cookie dough when he wasn't around. That's something I really had to confront myself with and realize I was being deceptive to him. I wouldn't do that in any other context, so why would I do it with food?

I know this is sort of a run-around response, but what I think I mean to say is this: Having a partner who can hold you accountable to do what you say you're going to do can be really helpful. At the same time though, you have to be the one to resist sneaking when they aren't around. Reinhard talks a lot about shame in the NoS book, and I think this relates to that idea. Sneaking something when you told someone you weren't going to do it is just shameful--at least for me. Some people might think it a strange motivator, but it worked for me until I reached I point where I didn't want to pig out when I was by myself because it didn't feel good.

sophiasapientia · Post by **sophiasapientia** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:29 pm

I agree with Marygrace about the accountability partner idea. In fact, I recently read somewhere that if you have an accountability partner and have a set time to check-in with your partner to discuss your progress, there is a 95% chance that you'll meet your goal. (The success rate is 65% if you have an accountability partner but don't have a set check-in.) It might help and it certainly can't hurt.

Sienna · Post by **Sienna** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:23 pm

You say that you are okay with N-days, so you clearly have the necessary willpower to follow reasonable rules, I think that's step 1.

The next step is to find reasonable rules for S days that help you adjust your behavior, without feeling like you are eliminating your S days (as Reinhard says S days are a necessary safety valve)

For example, you mentioned eating in your car.
One rule I made for myself well before I started NoS was "no eating in the car". In order to avoid looking like a total gluten to others, I used to buy food and eat it in the car before I got home. So no one would no, and it wouldn't count, right?

I started this behavior pretty much when I turned 16 and started driving. It was great to get away from my mothers diet rules and go eat (read: binge) on anything I wanted. I could eat an entire tube of cookie dough or 2 double cheeseburgers on my drive home from school. I'm guessing that the only reason I didn't start seeing a weight gain then is that I was an athlete - so I got a lot of exercise. For me not eating in the car meant a lot less food got put into my body - and honestly, it wasn't a very hard rule to add. I could still eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantity - I just couldn't do it while in the car.

Instead of coming up with rules to explicitly limit your food intake (only 1 S event!), try thinking about guidelines to adjust your behavior that will end with you eating responsibly. If you are prone to stress or emotional eating, maybe that means banning eating in the locations you are most likely to do that (kitchen, car, desk - whatever it is for you) or instigating a 10 minute wait period between deciding you want food and eating it (so you can still eat the bag of chips, but only if you still want to in 10 minutes). Again, I think it's about what works for you, what you feel like is sustainable and what fits into your goals and needs (easier said than done, I know). And maybe floating goals (like every Thursday you set goals for the S weekend) would make it easier for you to set goals that would work for the particular situations in the upcoming weekend.

In terms of accountability, I find writing things down helps me a lot - so I think a thread is a great idea. It makes it a lot less likely that I'll decide to tweak the rules mid-game if they are written down somewhere.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:00 pm

Hey, Kathi, let's check in with each other by 8 p.m. tomorrow night and by 6 p.m. Sunday night.

I think I'll start by saying I can have two desserts a day and snacking only if I go to Costco and have samples. Pancakes with syrup counts as one dessert.

By the way, I do live alone. My work has been so stressful the last few years that I admit I have had a hard time having the energy to arrange a more satisfying social life, and that is part of the problem. I know from reading here and especially on other weight loss sites that having a partner or family is no guarantee of eating moderately, but I do find that I am less tempted to overindulge when with others whose company I enjoy. I don't know if overeating has been correlated with being single, but I know I am not alone in struggling to have a full social life when single, especially if a person has never been married. In any case, I'm not saying it's impossible to overcome but it has remained a challenge. I'm looking more for support and encouragement at this point.

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 1:16 am

Not a great S-day. It's just before TOM, so I'm not shocked--I'm just surprised I made it through a perfect week of N-days. I've both snacked and eaten sweets on and off all day and didn't exercise like I hoped to. DH and my older son are away for the weekend, so it has not exactly been a relaxing Saturday. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. I did buy a pedometer, which I think is going to be a tremendous help. Off to try to figure it out now!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:50 pm

kathi, I hope you got a pedometer with a leash, although it didn't keep me from losing the last one. However, I did keep the previous one for quite awhile, though I found out they do not do well going through a wash cycle!

I didn't have the kind of day I hoped for, either, but I also didn't eat cookie dough or a bag of chocolate kisses, so that was good. I am going to a buffet brunch this morning and I anticipate making good choices. I'll be out with a group tonight for a comedy show. I'll play it by ear to see if I'll have a nosh before I go or not. I still feel a little scared that I'll do something stupid and go buy a package of pastries or something this afternoon because I need to read student papers which I don't like doing. I'm reluctant to claim that I won't buy junk because I have done that in the past and then surprised myself and felt rotten. I probably need to imagine myself going through the afternoon working and maybe stopping for coffee but nothing else, and being content. Sometimes that works!

TPIMH · Post by **TPIMH** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 7:12 am

Marygrace, I could have written your post. I started No-S last week, and had a really good first week. (3.1 pounds down) Prior to that, I would wait until my husband or kids were out of my sight, and then I would sneak a snack. That always resulted in a "super shovel" of food before they returned. It was really sick. Binge eating was becoming my norm.

Tonight, I made quiche for dinner. When my husband headed off to bed, my first thought was that as soon as I knew he was asleep, I would sneak another piece. The good part was that I realized what I was doing, and how unhealthy that was. It's not just unhealthy foodwise, but it's not a healthy mindset to have. I am proud to say, I did not get another piece of quiche, and after reading this, I know for sure I want!

kwidener7 · Post by **kwidener7** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:40 pm

I think we all need to remember that we are worthy of health and moderate eating! I know as a woman this can be hard to remember, we always want to put others before us to be caring, but we must remember that we cannot truly there for others if we don't first care for ourselves.

You are worth it! And you are worthy of health, happiness, and fit body!

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:11 pm

Heading into another weekend...I really don't want this to be too wild, if only because last weekend ended with a bad case of heartburn--hadn't had that since I was pregnant!

But I noticed this week that I've been able to walk by ice cream and bakery items, etc., in the grocery store without it even registering (until I've passed and realized I didn't stop to gaze at them the way I usually do).

Also, although it will be nice to have dessert at some point, I'm not in "countdown mode" to S-days like I was the past few weeks.

Counting these as small victories....

Too solid flesh · Post by **Too solid flesh** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 9:19 pm

Kathi wrote:Counting these as small victories....

They sound like big victories to me.

Good luck with the weekend.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:12 pm

Mindless Eating suggests "no eating while doing something else", as a rule. No eating while watching TV, or reading papers, for example. I can't do that as a rule- my husband likes to watch TV while we eat, and I think I'd have a fight on my hands if I tried to change that.

There are a couple of rules from Mindless Eating that I do use, though:

All food must be eaten from a plate or bowl. No eating directly from the package, unless you are away from home and it is a single-serving package.

The package must be closed up and put away before you can start eating.

No eating in any position other than sitting. There's nowhere to sit in our kitchen, so that means no eating in the kitchen. Eating in any other position is uncivilized and more likely to make a mess.

No eating in the car. It's messy and, if you are the driver, unsafe. (I don't really need this rule, as I never got into the habit of eating in the car)

No keeping food outside the kitchen. You can take a single-serving plate or bowl of food to another location to eat, but you can't take a package of food there to keep it around, or keep a candy dish in the living room, unless there are guests, here in the house, now. Packages of food do not leave the kitchen/dining room. Ever.

No hanging around in the kitchen, except at meal times and when preparing meals. Since there's nowhere to sit, this isn't much of a temptation.

I have an easier time not buying stuff I shouldn't, since I hate driving and hate going to the grocery store. Trips to the store don't happen unless they need to, and I generally try to keep each one as short as possible. If I don't go to the snack food aisle or the bakery, that makes the trip that much shorter and more tolerable.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 5:55 am

I have a hard time with ANY rules on S days. But, if I have some plans for fun tomorrow, that often helps with sanity. Obviously, I eat for entertainment at times. I'm going to a nature preserve in the late afternoon and an interesting-sounding gallery show in the early evening when I'll probably also have dinner out with a date. I don't purposely limit my food in front of a date, but I do often just feel less hungry because I'm having a good time!

Now, if I could only find a study buddy to keep me from eating while I read student papers.!

sophie-estelle · Post by **sophie-estelle** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:24 am

Well, this may sound presumptious because I've just started no-S, but I've had some success with combatting binge-eating, so I'm 25 pounds lower than I was for years (still not enough, obviously, or I wouldn't be here!)

I used to eat because I was unhappy, lonely, or stressed and just needed to soothe myself. I still soothe myself, but in a different way.

There is a school for estheticians near me, and you can get a very low-priced facial done by a student for practically nothing. You feel fabulous after an hour, your skin glows, and you have done something GOOD for your body instead of something destructive, like bingeing. There's also a school for massage therapists where they do a $15 full body massage for an hour. Massage not only feels good, but it's been proven to enhance the immune system, and it certainly relieves stress.
I can't tell you how many binges I've headed off this way. I do the facials or massages on the weekends, when I 'm most likely to binge.
Anyway, just a suggestion from a newbie. Maybe it'll help.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:04 pm

Alas, the schools here in San Diego charge a lot more. But maybe I should consider it once a month. I wish I could find a girlfriend who would trade facials. Or maybe I should go to a yoga class or something. Anyway, I'll be musing on this. TX!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:44 pm

Food is often a mis-directed attempt at self-nurture. Finding other ways to nurture yourself is a GREAT strategy!

marygrace · Post by **marygrace** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:15 pm

oolala53 wrote:Alas, the schools here in San Diego charge a lot more. But maybe I should consider it once a month. I wish I could find a girlfriend who would trade facials. Or maybe I should go to a yoga class or something. Anyway, I'll be musing on this. TX!

Yes to yoga. Practicing feels like nothing else, and you zone out completely. I can't recommend it enough.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Oct 30, 2010 1:58 pm

Okay, getting ready for this candy-ful weekend. Thank goodness the discount store I went to didn't have any candy corn. I just finished a late dinner.

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:50 pm

Pretty wild, thanks to parties and Halloween plus weekend. I'm not too concerned, though we have our anniversary and my son's birthday this week as well. I'm making those S events rather than S days.

The good news is that I managed to rack up almost 14K steps yesterday! I made sure to walk in the a.m., and then tromping around with the trick or treaters added quite a few more steps.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:17 pm

Saturday I did go to bed a little full. Sunday, I was supposed to go hiking with a friend, with breakfast beforehand. He wasn't feeling well and came late. I kept expecting to get really hungry, but neither of us did until about 4 p.m. when we had burgers. We later went to a Halloween party where we shared some chocolates. I'd had no fiber during the day so I decided to have a bowl of high fiber cereal before I went to bed. For the first time in months, I weighed less today, on Monday, than I did on the Friday before. I hope I can hold onto this as proof that I can be happy on the weekend without eating all the time. I know I can't expect to have such a long period of time not being hungry, but it's okay not to eat when I'm not really hungry.

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:36 pm

Wow! That's a real morale booster!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:26 pm

Okay, one more day before the weekend. I had a big time pig-out yesterday on an NWS day, and I'm trying not to think of having to make up for it on the weekend. Which doesn't mean I can't limit the S's to what is reasonable to satisfy the need for lusciousness. So much of it has to do with wanting to avoid required tasks and not planning enough satisfying fun in the free time that I do have. This is not news, but knowing the issue and finding the right solution are not the same thing. But I will keep looking.

ShannahR · Post by **ShannahR** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:09 pm

Hi oolala!
One of the adjustments I had to make mentally to No S was no punishing yourself for bad behavior. I used to punish myself for eating too much by eating very little at a later time--which usually led to another session of eating too much ad nauseam. It's extremely hard to stop doing that, I still find myself doing it sometimes.
Good luck with your quest to find the right balance on S days. It sounds like you've got a great start on it. I also wanted to say I love this thread. It's a great idea. I'll keep it in mind this weekend if things are getting dicey.

Have a moderate weekend everyone!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:45 pm

Last night, I baked a chicken late because it was time to get it cooked. I also took a sleeping pill. In the morning, when I opened up the fridge and found the chicken with a wing, some thigh meat, and some skin eaten off it it. So I guess that was a red day, and I didn't even remember doing it! That kind of night eating has never been an issue.

I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. Sometimes when I feel like this, I crave strong flavors like sweets, even though I'm actually not hungry. I'm a little nervous about going into the weekend like this. I can't even depend on taking some meds that might make me sleep!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:51 pm

Picked most of the morning yesterday but then had only dinner. Started today late with a coffee date and a brownie. I won't tell all the bites and sips, but it's not bad. Hope everyone stayed sane today.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:24 pm

Got several S days coming up, what with most people taking Thanksgiving as an NWS day. The tendency to just throw all caution to the wind because we overeat a bit is one of the reasons we can feel so uncomfortable. Having free rein to eat doesn't mean we HAVE to eat to the limit. Maybe we have to consider if we WANT something with our whole body, not just our mouth hunger. For me, that is the definition of eating without restriction.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Nov 28, 2010 7:31 pm

I'm finding I'm picking today. I like the freedom of being able to have tastes of things. My day is unstructured until a dance class later because I have work to do, but I am procrastinating. It was supposed to rain, but it didn't. I should do a workout outside to take advantage of not overheating.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Dec 04, 2010 12:42 am

Whoa, I had a bad failure yesterday, and it was a big surprise. I thought today I might have an easy time because I thought I'd awake pretty full and not attracted to food at all, but I was wrong. I was having a terrible time not just going through the cabinets when I came home from work, but posting on another thread and reminding myself what mod I think I need to try has helped. The basic mod is no sweets when I'm alone. I think it will be challenging, but I am supposed to be in a workshop tomorrow from noon until 6 p.m. There will no food involved, as far as I know. I have some social events to attend at night. Those are usually easier for me. It's my alone time that is dangerous. I just have to get through tomorrow morning--and most of the day Sunday! Yikes! I'll see what I can do about planning to spend time with others. One big problem is that I have hours of grading to do (teacher), and it's rare that one of my adult friends wants to hang out with me and read or anything while I work. I have to have it pretty quiet. It's an ongoing problem.

sidney202 · Post by **sidney202** » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:43 am

oohlala53,

As you know, I have absolutely zero experience to lend in this area as I have yet to experience even one S day yet. I wanted to post anyway to let you know I am pulling for you this weekend!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:17 pm

Thanks, Calli.

Just wanted to say that the fact that you've pledged to follow No S for 90 days is the first sign that I think you have a great chance of this working for you.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:13 am

Not ideal S days, in my mind, but much better than many weekends, so I'm calling it progress.

leafy_greens · Post by **leafy_greens** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:48 pm

I actually had a pretty successful S-weekend, and I did it by telling myself that they were N-days, but I could have a little bit of wiggle room. So I had a truffle and 2 pieces of chocolate on Saturday, and a cookie from the bakery and 2 pieces of chocolate on Sunday. It wasn't planned, I just tried being more strict on myself rather than running wild. My boyfriend kept trying to ask me if I wanted cakes and cookies and I kept saying "no no no no no no no no!" It really made me mad because I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to collapse this time. He said I was being "no fun" and I told him that "the fun leafy is the fat leafy." Not saying I'm "cured," but this is what happened to work that particular weekend.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:35 pm

leafy_greens wrote:My boyfriend kept trying to ask me if I wanted cakes and cookies and I kept saying "no no no no no no no no!" It really made me mad because I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to collapse this time. He said I was being "no fun" and I told him that "the fun leafy is the fat leafy." Not saying I'm "cured," but this is what happened to work that particular weekend.

This is a problem. It's much, much easier to diet if you have buy-in from the important people in your life. They don't have to be on the diet with you (especially with something like No S, where you eat normal food), but they should be supportive of your attempts to diet. Does he know how your diet works? If he doesn't, it's probably time to tell him. Then he'd at least know not to press cakes and cookies on you.

Could you be restricting your S days too much? There should be some time when you can have cookies and cakes with your boyfriend. If there isn't, you'll feel deprived. Don't think that feeling deprived isn't or shouldn't be a big deal, either. It is. Feeling deprived leads to binging.

You don't have to give up all fun or all enjoyment of food to be on No S, just restrict the times and quantities when you eat. I think this is one of its great strengths. I don't think most people could stick to a diet that required them to give up all fun and all enjoyment of food for very long. Expecting yourself to do that is just setting yourself up to fail.

leafy_greens · Post by **leafy_greens** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:44 pm

Nicest of the Damned wrote:Could you be restricting your S days too much? There should be some time when you can have cookies and cakes with your boyfriend.

No. This is the first S day in about a year that I haven't gone overboard. We (I) have cookies and cakes so much, that I haven't had an N day in over a year. The last issue in the world that I have is deprivation. My issue is mental, not physiological. I only put in the bit about my bf for some comic relief.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:55 am

The fun leafy can be a thin leafy!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:39 am

Okay, we're getting ready for a big eating weekend. Although it is a holiday and many like not to have any strictures, some of us know that our wildness on S days isn't in our best interest. I know I'm trying to draw some strength from the fact that it's the last weekend of 2010, and I've had very few non-wild weekends. For those of us who struggle with this (everyone else is off the hook), any motivating thoughts would be appreciated.

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 3:49 am

oolala53,
I gave up on S Days calming down into something reasonable, so I switched to one S event on Sundays. It was an incredibly easy switch. It was almost a relief.
Kathleen

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:10 pm

oolala53 wrote:Okay, we're getting ready for a big eating weekend. Although it is a holiday and many like not to have any strictures, some of us know that our wildness on S days isn't in our best interest. I know I'm trying to draw some strength from the fact that it's the last weekend of 2010, and I've had very few non-wild weekends. For those of us who struggle with this (everyone else is off the hook), any motivating thoughts would be appreciated.

How about "take time to enjoy each bite?"

Seriously, the most effective strategies for me have always been the "kind" ones, not the "harsh" ones. So, think about...

- Setting a few positive goals (drink enough water, eat some veggies... no statements that begin with "don't," only with "do")
- Allowing this to be a feast day, but stopping to SAVOR every bite. (As well as savoring moments of connection, joy, and beauty throughout the holiday).

The notion of "savoring" is a wonderful one to me - and very powerful. It makes me notice and appreciate good things, both food-oriented and otherwise. "Savoring" naturally slows you down, and helps you to eat more mindfully, through concentrating on what is good. (And I have been surprised, when I slow down, on what IS good to me - it's not always what I thought!)

Savoring is a counterpoint to most diet-think that focuses on how "bad" you are... which is just painful and generally leads to rebellion.

Hope your holiday weekend is wonderful!!

TexArk · Post by **TexArk** » Fri Dec 24, 2010 3:17 pm

KCCC says it very well. I have copied her post to reread when I need to be reminded. I hear her "yoga" training coming through. I have missed my yoga sessions due to injuries and I need the "live in the moment" message.

A few more tips as it applies to desserts:
1. Enjoy and savor them as an indulgence after a meal. They never satisfy hunger and a small, perfectly presented dessert satisfies after hunger is taken care of...so I try to avoid the plates and trays of sweets that are just too handy for mindless snacking and make each bite count after the meal.

2. If there is a huge variety of favorites, 2 bites of each satisfies...again presented and savored.

3. We did not gain our weight because of one feast day. However, I usually have trouble the day after. And we have that whole week between Christmas and New Year's to face. Each day cannot be a special day. So a plan needs to be in place for handling all the leftovers....like sending them off or giving plates to neighbors or storing in the freezer for another S Day.

The special time is not for deprivation but we enjoy it more if we do not overindulge. I think there is a correlation here to drinking alcohol...moderation is still necessary even when celebrating.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon May 09, 2011 7:54 am

My, the last post was quite awhile ago. More than four months later, (actually 16 months of No S) I finally feel that the wildness is letting go on the weekends. I still don't eat as I envision I will when I'm eating 99% sanely, it is getting easier. I just don't feel as much of a need to pretty much gorge a lot of the weekend, and I'm more forgiving of myself when I do eat more than I intended.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri May 13, 2011 2:54 pm

I'm selfishly moving this topic up for myself, I guess. I'm feeling pretty good about going into this weekend as I've had a few better ones in a row. I know I have to shake off the sense that anything less than what I interpret a perfect weekend to be is a drag. I actually do okay with that most of the time, but I can't say it is not an issue. It has not been true for me that weekends have gotten easy even though I have so many green N day. I feel I have to be aware--not quite vigilant and hyper, but aware-- because I've had at least 50 wild weekends in the last 16 months. No one is more aware it takes time than I am! In fact, one reason I push this to the front is that I think there are probably a lot of people who drop out of No S because weekends remain a problem. They just don't come back and tell us.

So you may be wavering and may even get more discouraged that it could take this long, but what are the odds that you will leave No S and stumble on the system that makes it easy? I do know that I am feeling more comfortable with not taking advantage of sweet foods when they are available. I actually don't want them on many occasions when I would have before. I'm talking about those urges we bingers get. I know i've already eaten way too much, I feel lousy, and yet some part of me stubbornly insists that I should be able to unwrap one more Hershey's kiss or dive into the ice cream again. It has nothing to do with logic and no rule of "just put a serving in a bowl" or "don't have the food in the house" could stand against the rising water of "I want it." I have felt that dissipating. And I can tell you, that feels powerful because I don't have to exert will power to have it happen. I am being healed! from the inside. And it does to some degree I think come from having seen how hard I was on myself in some other areas of life and deciding I should be kinder to myself about them. I can't say there is a direct cause and effect or even a correlation, but I did notice. And I did exert some gentle will just a few times. And I'll take that for now.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat May 14, 2011 2:06 am

oolala53 wrote:...And I can tell you, that feels powerful because I don't have to exert will power to have it happen. I am being healed! from the inside. And it does to some degree I think come from having seen how hard I was on myself in some other areas of life and deciding I should be kinder to myself about them. I can't say there is a direct cause and effect or even a correlation, but I did notice. And I did exert some gentle will just a few times. And I'll take that for now.

Oolala, this is so wonderful to read. It sounds as if you are genuinely moving in the right direction, and not just with food.

All your perseverance is paying off for you!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Mon May 16, 2011 4:03 pm

oolala! Thank you for both a wonderful post AND thread!! I am surprised that I did not notice this particular thread before now since as most people who have read my posts on here, know that as much as I love the No S Diet, the S Days have and continue to give me a headache (sorry Reinhard, nothing personal and that goes to the others who have been successful, including your good self oolala!). You must have been reading my mind earlier since for the very reason you stated - trouble controlling S Days has lead to me giving up before OR in the mindset I am at present, giving up on No S and looking for something else. I have not long returned from a trip and guess what? I weighed myself and in a week have gained 5 lbs. (now 175). Now, I realize that was pretty disingenuous of me and self-destructive since it's only normal to gain some weight on vacation....well for most people anyway. It was the wrong time to weigh myself and of course, it has made me feel very down on myself and feeling as if I lack self-control. I also look awful in my photos...the weight gain of last year is really, truly apparent now. Sorry guys - I feel like I'm moaning here and looking for the sympathy vote: I hope it doesn't come across too gloomy since all i am really doing is taking the chance to vent. I have decided though that I will have to be more vigilant and aware of my S Days. I can't get away with eating all the extras I used to. Several things are accountable for this I believe - not least the change, an underactive thyroid and not as much exercise (vigorous exercise) as I would like/require. However, I also realize after reading everyone's posts on the No S site that it is counter-productive to go 'gung ho' and ban everything and anything. I guess I shall have to try to take it one day at a time and not dread my S Days so much. The crazy and on a more positive note - exciting thing that No S has taught me is that on my N Days I can be perfectly sane and not think about bingeing. Since I started on my low fat crusade and thinking of not eating any treats on S Days, though, I find that the old cravings have come back, very strongly on my N Days as well and loud and clear to boot!!

oops...kinda lost my train of thought here (in the library and trying to be discreet as I type away here. LOL!)

So.... I will end by saying thanks again oolala for creating a very good and useful thread. I will certainly look forward to reading yours and others' posts on here in future. All the very best to you and yours. I am keeping everything crossed for all No Sers and particularly myself since I really can't afford to pile on anymore weight. At this rate, I will be over 200 lbs by the end of the year. Have a good week everyone!! Hope I didn't come across too depressing.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Mon May 16, 2011 4:41 pm

You know, the S-Days Gone Wild podcast really is quite well done. I turn to it from time to time when I'm concerned about how I'm doing S-day wise.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon May 16, 2011 5:14 pm

I've listened to it many times as well, but I still have trouble. I continue to eat more than I need just because I can, though the weekends are getting better and I've been down to my lowest Monday weights two Mondays in a row. I hope our little band will keep this thread up so that we can cheer each other on. I want to see what will happen to my body when I am eating moderately 95%-100% of the time, rather than 80%, and exercising consistently, too.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Mon May 16, 2011 11:36 pm

Hope so, too, oolala! Again, thanks for starting up this thread in the first place. Also many congratulations on your success in controlling your S Days. Absolutely brilliant and just by reading your posts on this matter today, I seem to have changed my mindset and don't seem as worried and keyed up about it as I was earlier! Can't thank you and the other No S'ers enough!! I have been very good eating wise today although I wasn't as relaxed as normal since a: I'm stressed over this extra weight gain (on top of what I already have to lose) and b: I told myself I was going to be extra strict and low fat only from now on. These silly rules start to play around in my head and I over-think it, often as not telling myself I am never going to be able to stick with it. Well, I shouldn't be so hard on myself since overall, I've still managed to stick to the general vanilla No S guidelines. If I could just get a handle on those S Days, I'm sure it would make quite a difference, if only to stop the gain. Not to mention exercise too....oh well! just have to be patient I suppose. Now I'm back from vacation, I should be on here more regularly - lurking and/or posting. By the way - sorry I seem to be highjacking your thread with my ramblings but as I mentioned, I really needed to get this off my chest. Hopefully, I will be feeling calmer by tomorrow. Good evening everybody. Here's to a great No S week!!!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 17, 2011 1:30 am

You're not hijacking. This is exactly what I wanted the thread for. I'd use a smiley icon, but they don't work on my computer, for some reason.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 17, 2011 1:31 am

Wait, let me try this. but I won't know until it gets posted.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Wed May 18, 2011 11:58 pm

Thanks oolala! No worries re. the smiley icon either

Just for the record: last time I weighed I was back down to 170 lbs again. I think it might have been fluid/salt retention causing the extra....but its a bit of a slippery slope - type - pattern since about a year and a half ago, I returned from vacation having gained 5 or so lbs which have somehow crept on 'permanently'. Once again - the joys of the big 'm'

Never mind, feeling slightly better but i guess its not a good idea (for me) to weigh on a regular basis - but I like to do so every few weeks just to see how I am or am not doing.

Have a great evening, hon.

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Thu May 19, 2011 12:44 am

NoSRocks, on my daily check in thread, I've been weighing myself daily as part of an experiment. The last two weekends, I've gained 3-4 lbs on the weekends and lost it by Friday. Keep going!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Thu May 19, 2011 3:43 am

Thanks Blithe!!! Just to let you know: I really enjoy your posts and have been reading them for a while now. Even though I don't post very much !! Same goes for everyone else on here - I love reading ALL posts on this site and feel I've got to know you all like one big Happy No S Family over the years!! Awwwww

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri May 20, 2011 11:33 am

Don't know if anyone else has trouble on Friday nights. It just feels like such a release to finish work that the old feelings of wanting to celebrate with food come up. I still remember how I would often go to Target on my way home Friday afternoons 30 years ago and shop for stuff I needed, but also throwing a bag of Hershey's kisses in the cart. Those would be gone by Saturday night. But, it's not going to happen today!

I'm still wavering on how to prepare for the S days. It has never worked to impose much restriction, but I keep thinking there must be some combination that would work, since I've gotten used to limits on weekdays. However, I'm just rehearsing having at least one long gap between eating events on each day. I've done that the last three weekends without setting it as a goal, so I know it's possible. Plus, it's been pleasant to be hungry for my meals then. Once again, I have no plans to eat with others, which can often help. Oh, well. I can do this.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Fri May 20, 2011 1:47 pm

I have trouble with Friday nights too! I've resisted allowing it as an S day mod so far, but I often have failures on Fridays. Last week I did really well until around 9pm, then was on my own pootling around the house, got bored and had a MASSIVE binge! Ugh. I find it worse when I'm by myself rather than with others, Saturday night I was with my sister and had one plateful of dinner and a small bowl of ice-cream during the evening and that was absolutely fine, I wasn't craving more.

Maybe this weekend I'll try having the majority of S treats WITH meals (e.g. a dessert straight after a meal) rather than random eating throughout the day.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri May 20, 2011 5:44 pm

Friday nights are still hard for me too. It IS a celebratory kind of night, isn't it?

It helps if I plan a really nice meal.

And sometimes I fail. When I do, I try to keep it contained - a "fail-event" rather than a crazy-fail-binge.

I sometimes allow an "exception-event" when we go out to eat, and try to compensate on Sunday. ("The Friday-night slide"). But I don't do that regularly, because it makes Sunday hard - and I forget on Sunday. Plus, when I did that regularly, Fridays turned into a binge, and I don't like that.

Progress, not perfection. Working on it.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri May 20, 2011 8:20 pm

I don't have much of a social life, though I'm working on it. If I did, I might take an NWS day one Friday a month. I actually rarely take NWS days and I hope to keep it that way.

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Fri May 20, 2011 8:27 pm

Oh, heck. I start my S days on Friday nights with dinner. Not Friday morning if someone brings in a treat, not Friday afternoon at the dreaded 4PM slump, not Friday when I get home from work and I'm hungry and want to nibble my way to dinner (ruining my appetite as I go) but with dinner. Friday night is vino night in the Morning household (glass ceiling) and dessert night. And if I'm ravenous, seconds night too.

The clear boundary - with dinner - is the bright line so that eliminates the concern about a slippery slope resulting in three S days; you know, that sneaky rationalizing we do - I'm starting my S day tonight anyway, I might as well have this crumpet at the 10AM coffee break - unh uhh, no way, no how, don't even think about it because it's not going to happen.

This isn't for everyone and I'm not recommending it as an across the board practice. But rules have to make sense to me and waiting till Saturday doesn't make sense when the weekend, in my life, begins on Friday night.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sat May 21, 2011 7:06 am

Ok so in the interests of full disclosure last night was another Friday night fail

I had been contemplating taking a NWS 'event' during the evening to celebrate my OH passing an exam, but given that we went out for some drinks, I thought about staying vanilla, then caved and bought a chocolate bar on the way home to order pizza (with cookies for dessert...) I'm going to be strict with myself! It wasn't planned enough to count as a NWS event. Although, I didn't eat that much really - the pizza-and-sides I ate would have fit on one plateful and two small cookies/one chocolate bar is less than I would have eaten previously.

Baby steps! I'm pretty sure the wine didn't help with my decision making

But I drink so rarely I don't follow the 'glass ceiling' at all.

SkyKitty · Post by **SkyKitty** » Sat May 21, 2011 8:07 am

I don't have too much of a problem with Friday nights, as we go to a dance class then on to the pub for a drink or two. This means that dinner is early, usually soup and bread but then we're occipied until we get back late-ish so I don't have chance to think about eating. Munching on crisps in the pub could have been a problem but since it's usually hubby who buys them and he's doing No S with me, he's stopped now.

My problem is I seem to just switch my brain off on S days and end up putting everything in my mouth without even thinking about if I want it or even like it, I just eat it because I can.

Which is bad.

Today I planned my treats for the first time and am hoping it will help.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat May 21, 2011 12:04 pm

SkyKitty wrote:
My problem is I seem to just switch my brain off on S days and end up putting everything in my mouth without even thinking about if I want it or even like it, I just eat it because I can.

Which is bad.

Today I planned my treats for the first time and am hoping it will help.

I expect it will. That was my experience, at least.

The other thing I did was to "talk back" to myself. When I found myself thinking "I'm ALLOWED to have this today, so there" (or the equivalent), I'd mentally respond "Yes, but I'm not REQUIRED to have it. So the question is, do I really WANT it?" Often, the answer was "well, not really." An amazing amount of junk food is really rather nasty once you clear out your taste buds enough to notice.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun May 22, 2011 7:02 pm

I had a decent day yesterdsy. Didn't eat to that sick feeling and didn't wake up feeling really full. I actually got hungry for breakfast before 8 a.m. It's often noon on Sundays, yet I don't feel content before I eat. I often wish I was hungry, but not today.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:34 pm

I'm bumping this up because a discussion started on one of the check-in threads of people who are struggling with S days. Hope people who feel this is an issue will come back around nearer the weekend or even on the weekend. I think those who made that transition quickly don't quite get this. It has not happened automatically after 17 months. I'm really so okay with N days, but it kind of hangs over my head that I still overeat enough on S days to almost cancel out my losses. But I'm not giving up.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:52 am

Hey oolala! Many thanks for bumping this excellent thread up again. Just logged in this evening and started reading through ALL of the messages again. Very enlightening!! Not sure if you bumped it up on my behalf, btw, but I really, really appreciate it just the same !

Have been having a pretty good run of N Days since I last posted on my thread, I'm pleased to report. Also feeling pretty good about this up and coming weekend, but don't want to get too 'sure of myself' yet, since this is only Friday night. I'm planning on having a treat after dinner (like I had been doing at the beginning of the week when I started my very short lived one S event per day experiment); but not going to put any undue pressure upon myself. Once again, this thread is fantastic and its great to get everyone's insight into the S Days, so thanks again. Have a great weekend, all!!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:09 am

I just happen to be up. I remember when I would actually start eating chocolate at midnight. Then I read on another site that recommended something similar to No S not to count the new day until breakfast time. Thankfully, it's not that bad an issue now! I hope I do as well as I've been, but I'm not putting any rules on myself.

SkyKitty · Post by **SkyKitty** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:15 pm

Just wanted to share that I'm actually feeling better about today than any S day so far. The only S I've had so far was a caramel and hazelnut pastry with my lunch and it was delicious, I'm sure it tasted better because I chose it with care as a special treat instead of just randomly shoving it in my mouth without thinking.

It helps that I'm at work today so I don't have a huge amount of treat food available to me and I'm going straight to the gym after work. I paln to have some ice cream after dinner and that should be it.

I'm hoping that "sometimes" S days will be like successful N days, I just have to do it once to prove to myself that I can. Once I've proved to myself that I can it will hopefully be easier to repeat.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 2:26 pm

My main problem on s days seems to be eating because I can rather than eating because I want to or am hungry, and I'm not sure that will ever go away. I dont tend permasnack often, or snack much at all, but I do eat sweet treats with a meal whether I am hungry or not! I guess having one treat with a meal is better than gorging on cakes and sweets in between....oh well, I dont beat myself up about s days

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:18 pm

milliem wrote:My main problem on s days seems to be eating because I can rather than eating because I want to or am hungry, and I'm not sure that will ever go away. I dont tend permasnack often, or snack much at all, but I do eat sweet treats with a meal whether I am hungry or not! I guess having one treat with a meal is better than gorging on cakes and sweets in between....oh well, I dont beat myself up about s days

well, if you really don't want to eat then don't.....that just doesn't make sense to me... this is something that should be enjoyed and looked forward to. it's perfectly alright to not have an S on S days if you're not really craving it. that's why the "Sometimes" word in the original NoS rules is good to keep in mind.
but yes, i agree that it's better than gorging during the week. i think over time, you will find that you become more selective and it will change for you.

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:43 pm

milliem wrote:My main problem on s days seems to be eating because I can rather than eating because I want to or am hungry, and I'm not sure that will ever go away. I dont tend permasnack often, or snack much at all, but I do eat sweet treats with a meal whether I am hungry or not! I guess having one treat with a meal is better than gorging on cakes and sweets in between....oh well, I dont beat myself up about s days

Why not treat S days like N days then? Why eat if you don't really want to?

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:44 pm

This is hard to explain and why I started the thread. It doesn't make sense but for the first year I felt compelled to eat because I could. I was deathly afraid that if I didn't, I would lose it during the weekday N days because I hadn't gotten my yayas out. Sometimes, that did happen. As I said, the fear and need is finally going away. But I invite anyone not to repeat my way. I'll never know now if being more prescriptive would have worked. I just know it would make me nearly cry when I thought of restricting myself.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 5:43 pm

Went to a potluck last night. A year ago, the day would have been wild. I would have started picking at food, or eating sweets, much earlier in the day, almost like appetizers! Like a warm up! This year, I had my regular breakfast, though I wasn't particularly hungry. I had a friend over for coffee and toyed for a minute with getting out some chocolate cake from the freezer for us. I didn't. Very glad later, esp. when I learned that her boyfriend was making them lunch and she wasn't hungry for that yet. She might have said yes to the chocolate and then I would have been guilty of a conspiracy.

I had a normal lunch, which I was hungry for and tasted delicious. In the course of the afternoon, I had a bite from a little packet of fudge I came across while straightening things. The potluck in previous years had had only okay desserts, but this year, had many more, so I had 1-2-bite servings of four or five things after slightly more than a plate of regular food. Man, they were good! Man, was I full! But I didn't feel bad about it. In the past, I would have been mad at myself and taken it as a sign of my eating disorder and general inability to accept life as it is instead of having to find all my sweetness in pleasure in life from food. (Oh, how the mind works!) I even had some leftovers after I came home though I wasn't hungry and didn't stress about it.

I've been eating moderately so consistently that it felt very obvious that this was an exceptional experience, and not a sign that I was going to go spelunking in the cave of bingeing for a week or forever. And I found I wasn't mentally struggling over it. I wasn't trying not to eat anymore and I wasn't thinking, but I deserve it, eating more, and then feeling guilty. (If you have not had much trouble with S days, this must sound like an awful lot of neurosis and trouble. Now you know! This is what we grapple with! )

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:18 pm

Of course my 'over the top' S days don't make sense. But then if I ate in a way that made sense, I wouldn't be overweight....

My 'logic' goes like this:

- I don't eat sweet things or snacks on N days
- I actually really like a lot of sweet things and food I would generally only eat as a snack not a meal
- S days are the only days when I can eat the above and not 'fail'
- On S days I WILL eat something sweet/snacky that I like

So, I might not be actually hungry but this 'logic' is telling me to eat something S-ey now or I'll lose my chance for another week....

Also I have to say that generally it's not about gorging. I bought a small caramel slice and ate it after lunch yesterday. Was I hungry? No. Did I enjoy it? Hell yes! Was it a binge? Nope, if I wanted to binge I could have bought 2, 3, 4, however many. Was it my only S yesterday? Ur.... no

I agree with oolala, a key difference for me is that I know this is unusual eating behaviour now, it's not my 'normal' eating behaviour, which is progress!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:39 pm

Milliem, I'm sure you agree that insisting on having one sweet on an S day whether you are hungry or not or whether you really, really want it or not is not the same as having S days gone wild. Shoot, if that's all I had ever done, I would have considered myself very lucky. But I'm also very happy for your perspective on that "need" to have something just because you can.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:12 am

milliem wrote:But then if I ate in a way that made sense, I wouldn't be overweight....

THAT is certainly true for me !!!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:33 am

Sunday went pretty well. About 1/10th the sweets I would have eaten six months ago.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:47 am

oolala53 wrote:Milliem, I'm sure you agree that insisting on having one sweet on an S day whether you are hungry or not or whether you really, really want it or not is not the same as having S days gone wild. Shoot, if that's all I had ever done, I would have considered myself very lucky. But I'm also very happy for your perspective on that "need" to have something just because you can.

Lol, no of course not - that was just an example of what I think is a bad a day decision, and the type of eating I'd rather not have at all (although of course, you can't fail an s day!) That particular decision was made when I knew full well I was having a very large meal out that evening as well....

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 2:39 am

Just checking in because it's Friday tomorrow. One more day to the weekend. Let's resolve to take deep breaths if necessary.

I've put up a new thread that I think I applies. Or will in a minute.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:14 am

GOOD LUCK, Alll! Looking forward to reading your new thread, oolala!!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:20 pm

Oof talk about wild S days.... I had a week of them since I was off on holiday with some pals, and they started off relatively sensible but deteriorated into an all out food-fest!! I spent the last 3 days just randomly eating stuff throughout the day with no real plan or restraint at all. Really looking forward to getting back on the N-day wagon tomorrow! Hope the rest of you had a more successful weekend

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:53 pm

What a difference a year makes. I feel very good about my eating so far this weekend, though I did have more than the equivalent of one dessert so far. But much closer to take it or leave it. So worth not giving up and letting N days do their magic! Plus no guilt on S days.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:47 pm

Okay, here is a bump up so anyone who feels vulnerable on weekends can check in and share at tough moments, if s/he chooses. I've had a grazing morning. I'm done now until a possible early dinner or an early nosh and late dinner. Will play it by ear with a visiting friend and a couple of options for fun this evening.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:47 am

My Saturday was great, but Sunday was food again that was provided by some really nice Christian friends while my husband recoups. I ate too much of it and my diet mind told me it was fried. I don't eat fried and over the years developed great habits not to fry food. I surely hope all the great things I have learned stay put

.

I have high cholesterol and can't take the med's so I know I have no choice but to make better choices.

Today is Monday and off to my sane living again!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 1:49 pm

It's just been a few weekends. You are doing great.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:36 pm

I've been "sick" this week recovering from a severe case of motion sickness from an inner ear problem. I've been eating fewer veggies and fruits. I'm a little worried that I've gotten used to too many heavy carbs and will go overboard this weekend. I'm definitely aiming at thinking "sometimes."

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:37 am

Hi, how did you make out Saturday, I know you were concerned? I did not do so well, but I'm hopeful for today. It has only been 2 months, not really gaining, but not really losing and that's okay for now

.

Have a great one!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:04 am

I feel like I can't even remember yesterday. I only know I failed tonight. Damn, I haven't been worried up to now, but I am a little scared I might be sliding backwards even though I can fit into two pairs of pants that were pretty tight at the beginning of the summer. I feel stressed by work; it didn't affect my eating last year, but this year, I was hoping to be more efficient. I've even hired someone to help me with organizing and keeping up with mundane record-keeping tasks but I find I still have so much "judgment" work to do. I dawdled on the weekend, and hoped to get some done tonight, but found I had forgotten about a meeting I needed to do paperwork for, so here I am finishing up at nearly midnight without any other class prep.

Okay enough whining. None of this is relevant to my eating, if i recognize I am still the one eating.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:10 am

oolala53 wrote:I feel like I can't even remember yesterday. I only know I failed tonight. Damn, I haven't been worried up to now, but I am a little scared I might be sliding backwards

I commented on the 30 days no scale. Seems like you are under an awful lot of stress and are reverting to food for comfort, but remember where that will take you. Treat yourself with compassion, hang on to what you fought so hard to get and for all the changes you made. Chock up these last couple days as S special days and start fresh by forgiving yourself...I say special days because you have been sick and if I read somewhere you are free from No S rules? You were sick and still recovering. Now is the time to not add anymore stress by turning to food, right...

Stand strong, you are still in the winning seat!!!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:29 pm

Remember the "sometimses," everyone!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:33 pm

I can't even remember that I wrote that last post. I ate a fair amount of sweets this weekend again. I really felt tired of it last night. I wonder if I'll remember that next weekend.

I've been reviewing information on using cognitive-behavioral techniques to combat OCD. I used some of those principals at first to stick to No S weekdays. One is just to ignore the "interfering thoughts," in my case, thoughts that I had to have food at inappropriate times, recognizing that there will be no disaster if the urge is not acted upon. I can use my Zen techniques to be there with it and/or distracting techniques, engaging in pleasurable or productive behaviors. I think I have to give myself permission to just veg at times.

The hardest part is determining what guidelines to use on weekends when my inclination is to go overboard. Can I have pancakes with syrup and a dessert on the same day? Even if it turns out I don't want both on one day, the idea that I can't have them freaks me out a little. I already eat sweets such a small fraction of the time compared to how I used to live my life! Yet it isn't hard during the week. But the idea that I would be so "good" that I would even end up foregoing sweets, even if it's because I've had enough food without them, sounds so bizarre to me, even after almost 20 months! Could I really be a person who has sweets only a couple of times a month and isn't suffering from it?

And I still love the freedom of just having something because I can. Ah, me. I know it's a hangover of eating because I can't have what I really want, which is consistent companionship and less work to do. Wow, that's the first time I've put those two together at one time. I see now I really have to work on coming to an acceptance of those two. I've tried so hard to solve those two problems but without success yet. I want tos much to just relax on the weekend, but I judge myself down deep for not working when I need to. And I know some of it is that I feel I deserve to have company to reward me for doing work when I don't want to. When I don't get the company reward, I somehow feel food is justified. I have to accept the reality of my life, just as I might a disease. I realize now that I judge myself a lot for not being willing to work when I need to, and I judge myself for not having been able to find the compainionship I want. AND I feel deprived of it, so I think it's okay to eat. It's just the way it is right now, and I can tolerate it without whatever food does for me. I probably won't dissolve in a puddle of tears, but even if I do--so what? So I feel bad? I'm human.

Anyone, feel free to remind me to re-read this next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Clarica · Post by **Clarica** » Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:43 pm

I do feel free to remind you, but I can't wait until friday! :)

It's an interesting question, how much of what is my behavior (some sweet eating) is an essential part of my identity (some sweet eater). Are we what we do, or what we wish we did, or something completely different from what we think about these things?

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:18 am

oolala53 wrote:And I still love the freedom of just having something because I can. Ah, me. I know it's a hangover of eating because I can't have what I really want, which is consistent companionship and less work to do. Wow, that's the first time I've put those two together at one time....It's just the way it is right now, and I can tolerate it without whatever food does for me. I probably won't dissolve in a puddle of tears, but even if I do--so what? So I feel bad? I'm human.

Anyone, feel free to remind me to re-read this next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Ya know I feel the same way as far as the thought of not having what I want on the weekends..it is like giving up a best friend...I just need to tame it down.

I know it took me a while to find my husband and you will find the right one for you as well...and for work...ya, wouldn't it be nice to retire.

K, reminder....please re-read on Friday and Saturday and Sunday

...it will do you good.

deb, your #1 fan

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:59 pm

I read this on Sunday morning. Not too late to rescue things. I'm thinking of going to the closest university library to read student papers today. It's terribly hot and I need an cool zone with few distractions.

For anyone who has been having green weeks for at least several months, has already overeaten this weekend and is struggling today, resolve to have only three more bites of S's today. You know very well you are very happy having moderate meals with gaps to get hungry in between. But don't look at it like some strict punishment. If you do it like you're disciplining yourself, it will likely backfire. If you think of it as a kindness, returning yourself to peace and pleasure, it will do more good. If you're lucky, you can find entertaining activities to distract you from food entertainment. I have to work because grades are due this week. But we can all do it.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:40 pm

I'm bringing this up for those who might need to start thinking about the weekend. I've been wavering in my N days for a couple of months, but am feeling the love again now. However, I still feel anxious about the weekend. My biggest issue is that I lack structure on the weekends-- no family and few available friends. Plus I always need to work on grading, which I procrastinate on and avoid with eating. It all sounds so obvious when I write it. Stop doing that!

I find if I have a few activities that each take several hours-- even social ones--, I'm not as likely to overeat then, not out of shame but just because something is satisfied. Funny, because I also very much need my alone time. Catch 22! but if others do better with structure and have people to make plans with, I encourage you to plan one active day this weekend where you can of course have your meals but then the focus is not on food the rest of the time.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:55 am

I'm getting nervous about the weekend. At one and the same time, I see that I am not able to keep to any mods I have set for myself AND I'm coming up with mods. I'm starting to think I can't allow myself any S-es unless I am with other people. I just don't seem to be able to refrain from overeating when I'm alone. Yet I end up spending so much time alone on weekends that I fear I'll often not get a treat at all! I don't know why after almost 2 years it still scares me to think of going through a weekend without a substantial dessert and a lot of snacking since it doesn't seem to be an issue for so many long-timers. But I guess we can't compare ourselves.

Or maybe the desire will just go away...

carolz · Post by **carolz** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:43 pm

Great thread. I'm one of those who gave up on No S because of out-of-control S days, and I have a feeling there are a lot of us. I can totally relate to the whole "eating junk because I can" mindset. However, I'm definitely considering returning to No S because it makes sense to me and because nothing else is working. I never had problems with N days, probably because of my structured 9 to 5 work days but weekends, with all that unstructured time, were always a problem.

One thing I need to do is get back to my Saturday morning yoga class. That helped. I also think I'm one of those people who need mods for S days. And I need to listen to "S Days Gone Wild" again.

I always loved this board! That alone is reason to come back!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:02 pm

Glad you're here. I've never had complete adherence in my mind to No S even when I had a few months of green N days because I always ate so much on weekends that I felt full all the time, except for a few instances. But I have never thought I could do anything else but No S. I can't even stick to a mod on weekends. Why would I be able to stick to a diet?

My theory of eating less with others was challenged a bit as I did eat more sweets than I intended at a gathering last Saturday. It wasn't a total drag but disappointing because they weren't even that good! And I went on the buy a whole package of Oreos and eat the centers out about an hour after I left the gathering. If I was disappointed in the offerings, why didn't I just go get something great on my own instead of settling for dumb stuff with and without company? Either way I would have eaten too much but at least it would have broken the pattern.

Hope springs eternal. Maybe in anticipation of the holiday season I can get something else in motion.

Andie · Post by **Andie** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:28 am

I'm popping my head into this thread for the first time, because I thought I would share how s days have finally started to moderate themselves for me. I used to have quite wild S days, but wasn't really worried about it because I was still losing weight at quite a steady pace. I've been on no S since about January. Recently, I've found that my body actually will not tolerate permasnacking (especially on junk) on s days anymore. I actually get nauseous and physically feel ill. I actually can't really have wild S days anymore, and I really don't mind.

For me S days really did start to moderate themselves without me doing anything...

I also wanted to comment on the discussion regarding Fridays. I also feel like Fridays are sort of a celebration, so I have sort of a special meal without breaking the rules. We have home made pizza and I have a couple glasses of wine. (I usually don't drink the rest of the week) It still feels like a treat, but doesn't mess with the habit forming part of No s.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Dec 03, 2011 7:37 pm

I've been No S-ing for 23 months. The ability to overeat has never gone away though it is unpleasant afterwards. And the desire hasn't, either. My weight loss stalled after about 5 months, went down a few, up a few, yada yada yada since then.

I've caught a cold, yet was hungry for breakfast and did have toast and 1/2 a banana. Then I read and fell back to sleep. When I woke up, the first thing I thought of was food, just out of habit. I know this could easily turn into wild day because I'm well enough to go shopping, but...

I think it was yesterday that I had an epiphany. I often tell people on another site that the first three nights of not eating after dinner are the hardest. You will really have some white-knuckle moments, but that it will be worth it. (It's a binge crowd and we/they are notorious for night eating.) It dawned on me that if I could white-knuckle my way through three sane weekends in a row, things might get a lot easier for me, too. (I think 23 months is enough time to wait for the habit to go away on its own.)

It's funny; it seemed to give me hope to think of powering through for three weekends, even though before I couldn't make myself go through a whole day without some needless gorging. I guess before it was open-ended; I felt I had no guarantees since even having some good Saturdays had usually been followed by some crappy Sundays, unless it was the perfect weekend socializing. But imagining there might be light at the end of the tunnel made it seem it will be worth the effort.

Funny how much it is a mind game. I know that and just had not been able to come up with the thought that would help me make it happen. People can tell you what to do a million times, but if your mind is not on the side of the direction, or if you are not committed to ignoring the mind's resistance to the behavior, all the suggestions in the world will be meaningless. (And I haven't actually followed through yet.)

I did have a nibble awhile ago, but I'm okay with that. It will be time for lunch soon. I do have a potluck to go to tonight and will try to sleep as much as I can this afternoon so that I might feel well enough to go. It's a group I like whom I don't see much anymore. And then there's the food. I'm not worried about being mad at myself for whooping it up while there. It's the afterwards that is usually the source of a feeling of defeat. So you'll know by tomorrow how I did.

My mantra will be, "It's worth it to wait."

Kathi · Post by **Kathi** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:43 pm

Very insightful post. I hope your new outlook will help with the weekends. They're a big problem for me, too. Sat. a.m. started out OK, but by Sun. I was just eating everything in sight. Most unfortunately, that slipped into Monday, my first red day since starting about 10 days ago.

I know my triggers:

--clothes felt tight, so I weighed myself on Fri. to find I'd gained a pound. Obsessed over whether I should dump No S and try something else.
--Kids have been fighting like crazy lately.
--DS2 has had a nagging nighttime cough for a month...which means I haven't slept through the night during that period.
--the cough got worse over the weekend, and I was going on about two hours' sleep by Monday. Sleep deprivation is a HUGE trigger for me, but with three young kids, I don't know how to work around this one.

Poor kid was diagnosed with acute bronchitis yesterday. Due to his nebulizer treatments, I know I'll be getting up at least once a night for another week or so, but at least I'm no longer a nervous wreck now that he's being treated.

I'm determined to get back on track today. For one thing, I have no time to pursue another diet, nor the means to shop for food since I'm housebound with my sick kid. Which is a good thing!

I got way off track here, but I'm going to read this thread and digest it before next weekend. Probably a good idea to read it Sat. and Sun. a.m. as well.

Everyday Systems

ongoing support for S day wild ones

ongoing support for S day wild ones

wild S days

S days still wild?