I have been browsing again today and I am down because no S wise, I had a very bad week. There was so much "funny stuff", it wasn't even funny. And guess what caused most of it? Stress! Then I came here to get wisdom and post after post I am reading people saying they have been having problems and failures recently due to stress in their lives. It seems we can stay focused when our lives are less stressed and so maybe it isn't the fault of the diet that we fail, it is the stress. I know for me, all the replating, and rearranging of items on the plate is useless when I am stressed because I am too stressed to pay attention to that stuff and too busy to exercise the way I should. But the question is how can we deal with stress and not treat the stress with food? I feel that the secret for me needs to be to find a way to control the stress because the stressors in life are always going to be there. Those outlets can't be food if I am ever going to be successful. I am a real type A personality and I need some advice on another S. LOL!! No snacks, sugar, seconds or stress.
Ideas?
What do we do about stress?
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
Sue, I am so sorry you feel stressed...
My only advice to you about that and your success here is that you should really go easy on yourself for any messups you make during these times, and just know that simply by trying to stay focused on NoS, no matter how feebly, you are still doing better than if you were stressed and *not* on it...
I'm sure you will realize that's better...
You need to develop a "Type A" attitude about your efforts, but you also have to lovingly accept that no one is perfect and by imposing those perfectionistic ideals on yourself, you are simply not embracing where you are now...
By embracing where you are now, faults and all, you are being a friend to yourself... There's gonna always be stress in life and relearning to disassociate it from poor food habits, is a life long process...
All you can do is keep trying and find positive messages to send, in any shape or form, to keep you motivated!
I heard a great tape years ago from the editor of prevention magazine years ago... He likened dieting in the slow healthy form, to getting a college degree....
During that time you find that some days are great, and some are downright disasterous, but if you don't drop out, and you stick with it, eventually you wind up with a degree....
The bumps and setbacks are just a given part of the process, so embrace them because, only people, as he said, who are going somewhere, and on the road to success, are the ones with the setbacks...
People who aren't going anywhere have no setbacks to report...
Successful people have loads of setbacks...
When you are in a low spot, just think of it as a setback and keep moving on~
Peace and Love,
Deb
ps... My personal advice to you is to start practicing regular meditation daily... Start with a few minutes and work up to 15 or 20 a day...
Once in the habit of meditation, you'll be able to calm yourself with only a few moments of relaxed breathing and calming your mind...
Keep trying! We all have stress demons! You're not alone
My only advice to you about that and your success here is that you should really go easy on yourself for any messups you make during these times, and just know that simply by trying to stay focused on NoS, no matter how feebly, you are still doing better than if you were stressed and *not* on it...
I'm sure you will realize that's better...
You need to develop a "Type A" attitude about your efforts, but you also have to lovingly accept that no one is perfect and by imposing those perfectionistic ideals on yourself, you are simply not embracing where you are now...
By embracing where you are now, faults and all, you are being a friend to yourself... There's gonna always be stress in life and relearning to disassociate it from poor food habits, is a life long process...
All you can do is keep trying and find positive messages to send, in any shape or form, to keep you motivated!
I heard a great tape years ago from the editor of prevention magazine years ago... He likened dieting in the slow healthy form, to getting a college degree....
During that time you find that some days are great, and some are downright disasterous, but if you don't drop out, and you stick with it, eventually you wind up with a degree....
The bumps and setbacks are just a given part of the process, so embrace them because, only people, as he said, who are going somewhere, and on the road to success, are the ones with the setbacks...
People who aren't going anywhere have no setbacks to report...
Successful people have loads of setbacks...
When you are in a low spot, just think of it as a setback and keep moving on~
Peace and Love,
Debps... My personal advice to you is to start practicing regular meditation daily... Start with a few minutes and work up to 15 or 20 a day...
Once in the habit of meditation, you'll be able to calm yourself with only a few moments of relaxed breathing and calming your mind...
Keep trying! We all have stress demons! You're not alone
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness
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Last Martian
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:35 am
I am not really good with dealing with stress myself, but here are some things which, in my experience, can help:
- Expect less of yourself
- Don't help other people so much
- Get other people to help you more (Bully, beg or guilt-trip them)
- Spend more time just being lazy
Probably doesn't sound very appealing and like something you'd feel guilty about. I was trying to put it into more positive terms, but then I thought the above is probably still how it'll sound to most people in the end, so just put it out there.
Here's the more positive way to look at it:
- Expect more patience of yourself
- Help other people to become more independent
- Allow other people to help you (It'll make their day)
- You have responsibility to take care of yourself. You can't afford to make stupid mistakes because you are too stressed--people are relying on you.
Anyhow. I hope that doesn't sound to preachy. I don't really know much about your specific situation and I am ridiculously bad at following my own advice about these things, so a grain of salt is definitely in order.
- Expect less of yourself
- Don't help other people so much
- Get other people to help you more (Bully, beg or guilt-trip them)
- Spend more time just being lazy
Probably doesn't sound very appealing and like something you'd feel guilty about. I was trying to put it into more positive terms, but then I thought the above is probably still how it'll sound to most people in the end, so just put it out there.
Here's the more positive way to look at it:
- Expect more patience of yourself
- Help other people to become more independent
- Allow other people to help you (It'll make their day)
- You have responsibility to take care of yourself. You can't afford to make stupid mistakes because you are too stressed--people are relying on you.
Anyhow. I hope that doesn't sound to preachy. I don't really know much about your specific situation and I am ridiculously bad at following my own advice about these things, so a grain of salt is definitely in order.
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Jammin' Jan
- Posts: 2002
- Joined: Thu May 05, 2005 2:55 pm
- Location: The Village
Oh yes, it's really tough for us Type A types, isn't it? The best I can offer is what I keep telling myself: Just do your best. It may not seem very good, but you just keep going and don't get discouraged. Patience and persistence will get you farther than perfection (because perfection doesn't exist in this world!).
You said you're too busy to exercise, but I've found this to be a great stress release. I'm not a Type A, (I'm a Melancholy, actually) but I do a lot of worrying and all the tension manifests itself physically (to which my chiropractor can attest). I've noticed during times when I exercise less (due to being busy, like you), I need more adjustments - my neck goes out more often, I have more headaches and my back gets so tight as to be almost unadjustable. And my appetite/cravings go up, too.
So I take my dog for a lot of walks, and I do something intense at least five days a week - running, biking, and lately, cardio-kickboxing (just picture your chief antagonist as the punching bag!
). It's something I have to make time for, but I think the physical and psychological benefits are well worth it. When I finish 30 minutes of hard running, I feel I can do anything, handle anything. I started off "small" many years ago - 15 minutes, three days a week. You might try making some time a couple of days a week, and determine to stick with it for at least a month and see if you feel a difference.
You could also make time for a productive hobby. I cook a lot, which I find relaxing. I get to be creative and try new things, and I have somthing good to eat when I'm finished (usually ). But this still isn't a substitute for exercise.
Whatever you try, I hope you find a viable, healthy outlet. The stress in your life won't change much but you can direct how you handle it.
So I take my dog for a lot of walks, and I do something intense at least five days a week - running, biking, and lately, cardio-kickboxing (just picture your chief antagonist as the punching bag!
). It's something I have to make time for, but I think the physical and psychological benefits are well worth it. When I finish 30 minutes of hard running, I feel I can do anything, handle anything. I started off "small" many years ago - 15 minutes, three days a week. You might try making some time a couple of days a week, and determine to stick with it for at least a month and see if you feel a difference. You could also make time for a productive hobby. I cook a lot, which I find relaxing. I get to be creative and try new things, and I have somthing good to eat when I'm finished (usually
). But this still isn't a substitute for exercise. Whatever you try, I hope you find a viable, healthy outlet. The stress in your life won't change much but you can direct how you handle it.
I'm actually not very familiar with the "Type A, Type (whatever)" personality types, but I believe it's basically someone very accomplished but also high-strung and tense. I am more familiar with the Hippocratic "four temperaments" - Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric and Melancholy, of which I am the last. From what I know, I believe the Type A corresponds to a Choleric personality. It's actually quite enlightening to find out your personality type, and to learn how to deal with those around you by understanding theirs.
I recommend Personality Plus by Florence Littauer, but you can probably do a Google search as well to find out more.
I recommend Personality Plus by Florence Littauer, but you can probably do a Google search as well to find out more.
Stress...
I don't find the stress of daily work activities makes me want food - I like feeling hungry and lean. Seriously. And No-S gives me complete control over one aspect of my life. So, less stress.
The stress that makes me fail is fatigue. If I'm tired, I lose my self control. Very quicky. I guess I'm just not that tough.
The stress that makes me fail is fatigue. If I'm tired, I lose my self control. Very quicky. I guess I'm just not that tough.
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
sorry to butt in guys, but what is "type a"?
Hey Pete,
This is kind of a generic way of describing a person who is a perfectionist and overachiever...... I don't think Aussies qualify as type A, since the motto of your great land is "No worries!" LOL...
So, "Type A" people tend to stress themselves out over lots of stuff....
I am a type B
(the opposite!)It's not based on anything physical, but I bet there are physical correlations for sure...
Have a nice day!
Peace and Love,
DebThere is no Wisdom greater than Kindness
Thanks all
Thank you to you all for the great ideas. It's a habit that needs breaking like any other I guess. Practice being calm, peaceful and accepting things as they are. But to quote Mark Twain "somehow I feel more relaxed when I am stressed". I think that is me. After 60 years of feeling stressed, I don't relax very well. Too much peace and no idea what to do with it. High anxiety and nerve problems run very strong on my dad's side of the family. Panic attacks, nervous breakdowns and the depression that goes along with it too. They were a high maintenance bunch. Bright but unsettled. But on my mom's side of the family, I should also have tenacity, patience, determination and a positive attitude. I have a good dose of both sides. Sometimes, that means that I am determined to find solutions to the problems I feel I have. Sometimes it means that I find the patience to ride out a bad day or group of days. However sometimes it gets tangled up and I am determined to tenaciously have a nervous day!! LOL. Thanks for the comments.
Seriously. And No-S gives me complete control over one aspect of my life. So, less stress. Thanks, Kevin. I had that once. I will strive for it again.
I'm not a Type A, (I'm a Melancholy, actually) but I do a lot of worrying and all the tension manifests itself physically (to which my chiropractor can attest). I've noticed during times when I exercise less (due to being busy, like you), I need more adjustments - my neck goes out more often, I have more headaches and my back gets so tight as to be almost unadjustable. And my appetite/cravings go up, too.
Thanks, Terryval. I know I need to adjust my exercise level. Most of mine comes from gardening but I am kind of a weekend warrior. Nothing all week and then overdue the weekends. Your chiropractor comments above are soooo me. My chiropractor tells me all the time the my muscles are like cement to adjust.
Soooo, long story longer. Relax, meditate, exercise and don't get all Type A about failures to do the above.
Again thanks.
Seriously. And No-S gives me complete control over one aspect of my life. So, less stress. Thanks, Kevin. I had that once. I will strive for it again.
I'm not a Type A, (I'm a Melancholy, actually) but I do a lot of worrying and all the tension manifests itself physically (to which my chiropractor can attest). I've noticed during times when I exercise less (due to being busy, like you), I need more adjustments - my neck goes out more often, I have more headaches and my back gets so tight as to be almost unadjustable. And my appetite/cravings go up, too.
Thanks, Terryval. I know I need to adjust my exercise level. Most of mine comes from gardening but I am kind of a weekend warrior. Nothing all week and then overdue the weekends. Your chiropractor comments above are soooo me. My chiropractor tells me all the time the my muscles are like cement to adjust.
Soooo, long story longer. Relax, meditate, exercise and don't get all Type A about failures to do the above.
Again thanks.
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
From what I understand, two very different phenomena get referred to as stress:
1. stress at having a lot of responsibility
2. stress from being powerless and out of control.
The first kind is good stress -- it's what makes life interesting and worthwhile. The second kind is what gives you premature heart attacks. I'm not sure if no-s adds to the first, but it certainly detracts from the second. Giving it up when things become stressful is... well, misguided. It'll make you more stressed. Not sure if mere logic helps when stress strikes, but it's worth a shot.
I guess there's also a third kind of stress, or at least a stress catalyst, that comes from lack of sleep. Is that an issue? If so, it's worth some attention.
See also this discussion for more on that.
Reinhard
1. stress at having a lot of responsibility
2. stress from being powerless and out of control.
The first kind is good stress -- it's what makes life interesting and worthwhile. The second kind is what gives you premature heart attacks. I'm not sure if no-s adds to the first, but it certainly detracts from the second. Giving it up when things become stressful is... well, misguided. It'll make you more stressed. Not sure if mere logic helps when stress strikes, but it's worth a shot.
I guess there's also a third kind of stress, or at least a stress catalyst, that comes from lack of sleep. Is that an issue? If so, it's worth some attention.
See also this discussion for more on that.
Reinhard
Thanks Reinhard
The logic helped a lot. It was my best subject in college and I do logic puzzles all the time. Thanks. It made sense and after thinking about it for a while, I made a list of the second type of stressors you mentioned
and I decided I needed to counter the gerbil wheel thoughts that set me off over and over again with positive ones so here goes:
1) I have some health issues that go along with my age and they really curtail what I can do physically. That contributes very much to a feeling of helplessness. I once was a very active person and it is depressing to have to give up so many things I used to do. It bothers me a great deal to just sit around. >>>>I need to focus on what I can still do and do it. I need to be glad I can garden for an hour instead of being upset because I can't do it all day like I used to do. I can still make good meals for our family and friends even though I can't still cater or start that organic restaurant I always wanted. In other words, be happy with what I have instead of focusing on what I don't. Be open to ideas that might change the status quo. I keep thinking (and not doing) anything about selling soup through my local health food store.
2) I love the work I do but due to down sizing, there is way too much of it. The company has gone from small and personsal to large and impersonal with in the last 4 years. I only have 5 years until I retire, I carry the insurance for my husband and me and we live from paycheck to paycheck so taking a cut in pay is not an option. I worry about being downsized so I tend to overcompensate by working a lot of overtime. >>>>> I can try to find the human factor that is still there with my coworkers and stay out of office politics and fear gossiping about lay offs etc. I can remind myself that a lot of the country is in the same postion as me and that compared to many, I am lucky to have a job and home at all.
3) I am a worrier. I worry about health, the future ( as well as the past!! Like THAT accomplishes anything), money, blah, blah, blah.>>>> I guess I need to stay busier and not think so much. Andrew Weil says that worriers should take news fasts. That should include a fast from the newest senior fraud scam/politics/murder/future- fear stories that seem to be everywhere. In fact, it should also include all the positive healthy thoughts magazines I read. They can get people as worked up as a newspaper!! Always some horrible thing I might be eating that is secretly killing me!!!
But most importantly, I will remember what you said about No S giving me control over some portion of my life and right now that means a lot. And you are correct, when I fail a day of No S, I don't feel better, I feel worse. The best part about my original 21 days, was the feeling that I had control over Something with a capital S. The worst part about the last week was that the control was gone and it added to the feeling of helplessness.
Finally, I am going to print this out and read it every morning until it, like No S becomes a habit.
Thanks, Reinhard, you made an old creaky lady happy!!! Not an easy task. Good night and God bless.
and I decided I needed to counter the gerbil wheel thoughts that set me off over and over again with positive ones so here goes:
1) I have some health issues that go along with my age and they really curtail what I can do physically. That contributes very much to a feeling of helplessness. I once was a very active person and it is depressing to have to give up so many things I used to do. It bothers me a great deal to just sit around. >>>>I need to focus on what I can still do and do it. I need to be glad I can garden for an hour instead of being upset because I can't do it all day like I used to do. I can still make good meals for our family and friends even though I can't still cater or start that organic restaurant I always wanted. In other words, be happy with what I have instead of focusing on what I don't. Be open to ideas that might change the status quo. I keep thinking (and not doing) anything about selling soup through my local health food store.
2) I love the work I do but due to down sizing, there is way too much of it. The company has gone from small and personsal to large and impersonal with in the last 4 years. I only have 5 years until I retire, I carry the insurance for my husband and me and we live from paycheck to paycheck so taking a cut in pay is not an option. I worry about being downsized so I tend to overcompensate by working a lot of overtime. >>>>> I can try to find the human factor that is still there with my coworkers and stay out of office politics and fear gossiping about lay offs etc. I can remind myself that a lot of the country is in the same postion as me and that compared to many, I am lucky to have a job and home at all.
3) I am a worrier. I worry about health, the future ( as well as the past!! Like THAT accomplishes anything), money, blah, blah, blah.>>>> I guess I need to stay busier and not think so much. Andrew Weil says that worriers should take news fasts. That should include a fast from the newest senior fraud scam/politics/murder/future- fear stories that seem to be everywhere. In fact, it should also include all the positive healthy thoughts magazines I read. They can get people as worked up as a newspaper!! Always some horrible thing I might be eating that is secretly killing me!!!
But most importantly, I will remember what you said about No S giving me control over some portion of my life and right now that means a lot. And you are correct, when I fail a day of No S, I don't feel better, I feel worse. The best part about my original 21 days, was the feeling that I had control over Something with a capital S. The worst part about the last week was that the control was gone and it added to the feeling of helplessness.
Finally, I am going to print this out and read it every morning until it, like No S becomes a habit.
Thanks, Reinhard, you made an old creaky lady happy!!! Not an easy task. Good night and God bless.
Hi there,
Those of us working to lose weight have, for the most part, used food as a coping mechanism for stress. I fully and without reservation include myself in this group.
So when we remove the short-term pleasure of eating as a coping mechanism from our lives, we MUST MUST MUST replace it with another coping mechanism.
When I'm at my best, exercise becomes my coping mechanism; indeed it is quite useful to pour all of my frustration, anger etc into a vigorous shugging routine.
Slowing down adn breathing deeply is another good one.
The point is, find a healthy coping mechanism that works for you.
Those of us working to lose weight have, for the most part, used food as a coping mechanism for stress. I fully and without reservation include myself in this group.
So when we remove the short-term pleasure of eating as a coping mechanism from our lives, we MUST MUST MUST replace it with another coping mechanism.
When I'm at my best, exercise becomes my coping mechanism; indeed it is quite useful to pour all of my frustration, anger etc into a vigorous shugging routine.
Slowing down adn breathing deeply is another good one.
The point is, find a healthy coping mechanism that works for you.
JWL[.|@]Freakwitch[.]net
Thanks for the thoughts
Good ideas. Actually, I did quite a bit of gardening this weekend and my body cooperated with me. Felt good and released a lot of tension. Hard to stay focused sometimes but you are correct. It is just more retraining and learning new habits. Along with that is learning new ways of coping with stress besides food. Doesn't really help that much and the results don't last long.