Weekend Madness!

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 2:51 pm

So I have been doing great.... expect my weekends are insane. So insane that they are beginning to wreck my week. What do I mean? For the last 3-4 months I have been doing perfectly, down 10 lbs, etc. But the last 2-3 weeks I have started to have red days and my weekends are just as bad as when I started.

What has worked for you? I already listened to the podcast.

I am making a new habit I want to do!
On weekends I will still have three meals, no snacking, but I will plan them to be cheat meals.

I have an issue with straight up binge eating all weekend. Mainly brought on by snacking.... and "because I can."

I've already started to look up some recipes I want to try. I am hoping if I can stick to three meals ... that I'll start to do better. I mean, in OA, that is what I tried doing and it seemed to work. Just gotta build the habit?

Thoughts/support/advice -- all welcome!

ceo418 · Post by **ceo418** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 7:44 pm

I, too, have noticed that my past couple of weekends have been heavy on the snacking and sweets, and I've had some red days in the past few weeks. I took the time to re-read the book, and read the strictness podcast, which I think is helping me through this week so far. I also thought about the habits for a long time and realized that now that I've been doing No-S for about seven months, it's really time to focus on the "sometimes" aspect of the S-days. I don't know that I intentionally want to go into an S-day saying I will only have one of this item or one of that item, but I also know that I did not like how I was feeling Sunday evening after a particularly heavy day of eating randomly. You're not alone in this!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:23 pm

I gently encourage you not to call them cheat meals. How would they be different? Are you restricting your N day meals? I humbly suggest you try having more sumptuous meals midweek as well.

Review your reasons for wanting live moderately with food on a daily basis.

Spend more time thinking about how good it felt to wait for your meals to eat. Let yourself LONG for that feeling.

Figure out a "safe" situation to have one sweets on an S day and stick to it. Remember how "because I can" leaves you feeling lethargic and stuck.

Change your routine for a few weekends, if you can.

These may inspire your own ideas.

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:05 am

Last weekend was would but I was on a mini vacation. My husband reminded me. But it was so wild I was sick for days after, so I reminded him. Ha ha!

And yes, you're right. Once the weeks are solid, it's time to focus on the weekends. I tried the other weekend to switch to Friday night's and Saturdays. Then Sunday is normal. That closed up the crazy time window and allows me to deal with anxiety I have over Monday... on Sunday night... appropriately... not with food. It worked one weekend, not the other. But hey, I can keep trying. It's weird how I am about rules... so great during the week, hot mess on the weekends. But I'm sure it's because I have less structure on the weekends! Keep me posted on your journey!

ceo418 wrote:I, too, have noticed that my past couple of weekends have been heavy on the snacking and sweets, and I've had some red days in the past few weeks. I took the time to re-read the book, and read the strictness podcast, which I think is helping me through this week so far. I also thought about the habits for a long time and realized that now that I've been doing No-S for about seven months, it's really time to focus on the "sometimes" aspect of the S-days. I don't know that I intentionally want to go into an S-day saying I will only have one of this item or one of that item, but I also know that I did not like how I was feeling Sunday evening after a particularly heavy day of eating randomly. You're not alone in this!

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:11 am

I guess I do restrict my N days... but not in a depriving way. You're right.. maybe I shouldn't call them cheat meals. That's the term they used at my old gym.

Love the part about reviewing why I'm doing this in the first place. You're right. Maybe I can take some time and journal about it. I hear you about the good feeling of waiting and enjoying. For some reason on weekends.. and I think it's the break in my routine.. something snaps. Maybe instead of snapping I can sit down and think through it. One thing that is different is I usually work out in the morning on the weekends, plus I can't seem to sleep in on the weekends... I actually sleep less... not sure why, maybe anxiety and stress. All that leads me to eating everything in sight. Blah.

I am certainly going to focus on how I felt these past few days from overeating... really focus on it and figure it out and treat myself better than that. Because that is what it boils down to... I really treated myself poorly eating all that this weekend...

Thank you so so much!!

oolala53 wrote:I gently encourage you not to call them cheat meals. How would they be different? Are you restricting your N day meals? I humbly suggest you try having more sumptuous meals midweek as well.

Review your reasons for wanting live moderately with food on a daily basis.

Spend more time thinking about how good it felt to wait for your meals to eat. Let yourself LONG for that feeling.

Figure out a "safe" situation to have one sweets on an S day and stick to it. Remember how "because I can" leaves you feeling lethargic and stuck.

Change your routine for a few weekends, if you can.

These may inspire your own ideas.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:01 pm

Remember not to be too hard on yourself about what you already did.

Also, consider that feelings like anxiety don't actually make you eat. A feeling can't make you eat. Only the hand picking up food and bringing it to the mouth can do that. The feeling makes us WANT to do that, but we can always choose not to. At the beginning, it may feel as if there is no gap between the wanting and the picking up, but there always is. Have faith that you can keep widening that space and choose NOT to touch the food in the first place, anxiety or no. It may not feel good, but neither does the aftermath of overeating. Stick it out! Crawl in bed, stomp around the room, cry, whatever. The general recommendation is to acknowledge the feeling and urge, recognize it as an old neural pattern that is not a true signal for food, and purposely redirect to a productive or pleasurable activity. Those other three I stated I have found to be productive! At times. It's okay to be a little outrageous.

But have three wonderful green N days before you have to face them.

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:41 pm

Yes! Great advice. I've done that before and cried a river once with my anxiety... I need to just choose that over food. You're right... It's about widening the gap! Thanks for this!

oolala53 wrote:Remember not to be too hard on yourself about what you already did.

Also, consider that feelings like anxiety don't actually make you eat. A feeling can't make you eat. Only the hand picking up food and bringing it to the mouth can do that. The feeling makes us WANT to do that, but we can always choose not to. At the beginning, it may feel as if there is no gap between the wanting and the picking up, but there always is. Have faith that you can keep widening that space and choose NOT to touch the food in the first place, anxiety or no. It may not feel good, but neither does the aftermath of overeating. Stick it out! Crawl in bed, stomp around the room, cry, whatever. The general recommendation is to acknowledge the feeling and urge, recognize it as an old neural pattern that is not a true signal for food, and purposely redirect to a productive or pleasurable activity. Those other three I stated I have found to be productive! At times. It's okay to be a little outrageous.

But have three wonderful green N days before you have to face them.

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:12 am

I'm back to report in. I really took some of the advice to heart and searched the internet about binge eating. I found some really useful stuff! I read up on rational recovery and did some digging on the book Brain Over Binge. I'm happy to report that although my meals were large and I had some sweets, I did not binge-snack all day at all this weekend. This is huge!

I also had to be honest with myself... and especially after the research I did this weekend. I do restrict during the week. For breakfast I have protein powder in my coffee. Yeah. That's it. That's breakfast. Lunch is usually fine, although sometimes I try to make it really small. Dinner is always larger, but fine. So I changed my yellow day to Friday instead of Sundays. Yesterday I ate a egg skillet with veggies and sour cream and salsa... one of my faves! ... and I was fine!! It was easy to do the three meals when I'm eating enough. I realized when I started over the summer I was eating three real meals.. then work started back and that stopped.

I think part of my craziness on the weekends is because I'm not being satisfied during the week and that restriction is causing my brain to go crazy on the weekend.

I'll keep in touch on the progress. You all are amazing and I can't thank you enough for your support!!

I'm always open to more advice and suggestions!!

PS I also think it's a huge feat that I've been resisting doing shakeology with a friend... I said I'd never do that stuff again but she is so awesome and motivating that I have been so tempted. But luckily I've taught my brain: No more diets!! Although it's funny I was slipping into one during the week. Oy vey!

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:26 am

Amazing insight! I'm so glad you were able to find your way over the weekend. Congratulations on your success this weekend - it feels good doesn't it?

What is shakeology? I'm imaging two different scenarios in my mind and they're both pretty silly.

Nevermind - I just looked it up - What was in my imagination was way more interesting

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:10 am

Thank you!! It does feel good!! I am eating breakfast right now... before work!

Also

at your shakeology remark!! Ha ha!!

gingerpie wrote:Amazing insight! I'm so glad you were able to find your way over the weekend. Congratulations on your success this weekend - it feels good doesn't it?

What is shakeology? I'm imaging two different scenarios in my mind and they're both pretty silly.

Nevermind - I just looked it up - What was in my imagination was way more interesting

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:17 am

I'm so used to restricting my breakfast that after I ate yesterday, my 3 meals, I felt huge at the end of the night. It's all in my head, I am sure. I'm in the middle of reading Brain Over Binge and I just keep focusing on the fact that until I'm nourished and not restricting, I will never beat binge eating. It is keeping me going.

Yesterday I thought... oh! After I get used to this real deal three meal thing, then I suppose I will find that some meals are too small or big and things will work out to where maybe I'm not bloated at the end of the night. I'm starting to get it... things are starting to click.

I've been thinking of thanksgiving and how hard it will be to not permasnack, which leads to full blown binges for me. And then I thought... cross that bridge later!! Focus on the fun you'll have with family, not the struggle of food. I'm such a worry wart!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 10:27 am

NOTHING HAS to lead to binges. Of course, we don't HAVE to tempt fate by constantly putting ourselves into tough situations, like by eating too little, but just about everything else is negotiable. We can feel like bingeing and still not binge!

Glad Brain Over Binge is helping. I read her mentor, though it didn't stick at the time. And I haven't had her success, but I'm okay with mine so far.

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 11:19 am

You're doing a great job of just focusing on the moment. As the holidays approach, you may want to preplan strategies for coping in difficult situations but, I agree, you don't have to worry about that today. Just enjoy your newfound knowledge and keep learning about what is best for youright now

Edited to correct "your" to" you're". One of the many ways in which my phone and I have disagreements. . . We may need couples therapy

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 9:43 am

Oh how I long to be where you are! When I see your signature line, I'm like... oh... she's not going up and down like me!! It is true sanity!

I love your line about how nothing causes us to binge. I'm about halfway through the book and my goodness it's on the money.

Obviously eating some breakfast has made my brain go... hey! You already ate more food than you usually do... just keep eating!! ... and I let the thought enter, and then I acknowledged it as an old habit and an error, and I walked away from it. It has happened quite a few times the last few days, which makes me realize that being at work and distracting myself is what got me through the week, i.e. not acting in the urge. THIS and only this not acting is why I used to say getting through the work week was easy... it's the weekend that isn't. Now I just have to not act on the urges and form that habit.

But man, how much easier this ask is when I'm actually not starving! Right?

oolala53 wrote:NOTHING HAS to lead to binges. Of course, we don't HAVE to tempt fate by constantly putting ourselves into tough situations, like by eating too little, but just about everything else is negotiable. We can feel like bingeing and still not binge!

Glad Brain Over Binge is helping. I read her mentor, though it didn't stick at the time. And I haven't had her success, but I'm okay with mine so far.

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 9:46 am

I am the queen of typos, so edit away! Ha!

You know, instead of viewing the holidays as such a rough time, I'm going to try and view it as a challenge that I'm ready for! I have the next 20-something days to practice not bingeing. Perfect timing! I'm going to be pooping this new habit up on my habitcal!

gingerpie wrote:You're doing a great job of just focusing on the moment. As the holidays approach, you may want to preplan strategies for coping in difficult situations but, I agree, you don't have to worry about that today. Just enjoy your newfound knowledge and keep learning about what is best for youright now

Edited to correct "your" to" you're". One of the many ways in which my phone and I have disagreements. . . We may need couples therapy

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:56 pm

Started a thread in the daily check in thread to monitor how I progress. At least for a few weeks...