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How to stay determined?

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:54 am
by Orlan
So, before I realized the no S diet was a thing, I found myself determined to stop binge eating over the summer and made myself eat only meals, no sweets in between. But once the school year started, everything backfired and I went back to overeating to the point that it hurt every day after school. I'm really worried about how to be able to stick to eating three meals a day. Should I skip breakfast and lunch then eat three meals in succession starting from 3 PM? Does anyone have any ideas? :(

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:43 am
by HappyHiker
Welcome! You can do this. It's not going to be as hard as you're building it up to be, I promise. This is how all our grandparents ate and how healthy people all over the world currently eat. It is not cruel and unusual. ;)

Skipping breakfast and lunch and eating three meals in succession does not sound sane or healthy to me. Does it to you? In my opinion, just do vanilla No S. Get some enormous paper plates and pile them high with calorically dense food if it makes you feel more secure. You can always cut back later once you have the habit in place and feel more confident.

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 1:23 pm
by gingerpie
Hi Orlan, It always helps me to understand how folks are defining the words they use. I'm wondering what you meant by
made myself eat only meals,
Do you mean you ate three substantial satisfying meals or do you mean you ate only the bare minimum possible to get through the day? Or, do you mean something else entirely. What I would suggest varies depending on what exactly you mean.

In any case, in my view, skipping meals is not advisable for a variety of reasons. Among them, I believe that it is unnecessarily punishing and not at all sustainable in the long run.

Is there a logistical reason that eating breakfast in the morning and lunch in early to mid afternoon not feasible? Is it that you are overeating at those times? If you let us know more specifics about how your day plays out maybe we can offer more constructive suggestions.

In the mean time, please do treat yourself as kindly as you can.

Kind regards,

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:15 pm
by oolala53
What was your original motivation to stop bingeing? Write down your reasons and read them several times a day for a few months, definitely until New Year's. Also spend some time remembering how it felt to eat so regularly and moderately. Vow to bear the "necessary pain" (of wanting to eat but waiting) to get those feelings back.

I"m a teacher and even after several years get those afternoon urges (after the students have left and I have unpleasant work to do- or avoid) still come over me. I stopped wishing for them to go away, but I also ignore them or have decaf au lait or mocha. Or recently spicy tea. Or nothing.

I've also had phases of failing a lot, but eventually, the desire to live moderately won out. Make a guilt-free shrine in your mind to moderation and give yourself time to adjust to your version of it. If it takes a couple of years, you are still ahead of traditional dieters who gain the weight back within two years of their weight loss.

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:25 pm
by Orlan
Oh! I ate full meals in attempt to not snack myself bloated, and was sort of trying to rid myself of sugar addiction. It only lasted for a bit less than a month, unfortunately.
Thanks for the reality check there; I don't think eating three meals in the evening is sane either.
My original motivation was to stop my sugar cravings, I dislike having to feel hungry even when I wasn't. Stopping binging was an added benefit--since I don't binge in the summer as I do after school. I'll spend some time reflecting to myself about this, thank you!
Umm, my day normally goes like this:
Morning- run the school with breakfast if I'm not late. No breakfast if I'm late.
Afternoon- too tired to get food, so I skip it sometimes.
Evening- I'm home, eat a snack, then I can't seem to stop.
(I did eat breakfast and lunch today however, it's not dinner time yet, but I always eat dinner at least; I'm trying to fix my erratic eating habits after all :) )

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 11:19 pm
by oolala53
If your meals are that erratic, it is no wonder you snack without stopping at night, (though those who get good at intermittent fasting do manage to just eat a regular meal at dinner time after fasting all day).

IMHO it will be very unlikely for you to detach from sugar and bingeing unless you learn how to provide yourself with meals on a regular basis, including packing a simple lunch (or use Reinhard's optimized oatmeal most days!). I suspect- now tell the truth- that you actually can manage to do this. The meals don't all have to be home-cooked. But you do have to be willing to do some basic shopping regularly and get a routine going for what I call assembling meals. If you haven't been doing this, you need to look at what's in the way. Are you writing the great American novel or solving world hunger in your spare time? Okay, I hope I'm not being too snarky, but it's easy to kid ourselves.

I don't cook many meals right when I eat them. I use a lot of leftovers, including of fast food. For example, lunch: half a leftover fast food burrito OR a big slice of pizza, OR a serving of any leftover restaurant entree , big handful of lettuce, a small handful of pea pods, a scrubbed carrot, an apple. Less than 10 minutes to assemble. Can be done for dinner, too.

I confess that I often eat breakfast in the car. I keep a towel over my lap so I don't worry about dropping food. Breakfast can be fruit, HB egg, and nuts. And coffee. I can actually relax more and chew on the way than I can making myself sit and eat in the morning.

Concentrate on what benefits you will get from moderation, on changing how you spend your late afternoons and evenings, at least temporarily, AND figuring out easy default meals. It is absolutely worth the effort!

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 8:10 am
I agree with oolala.

Any meal skipping and your body/appetite just doesn't know what's going to happen next - it's in complete chaos.


If you want to be a happy eater, you are going to need to establish a regular pattern of three meals a day. Morning, Mid-day, Early evening.

You'll feel so good if you do that.

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:31 pm
by gingerpie
I also agree with oolala regarding the need to establish firm meal times/habits. A few things that helped me are, in no particular order:

1) ready my breakfast the night before. In my case I have oatmeal every workday so the night before I put out my bowl with oatmeal and nuts. (no milk yet :) I cover the bowl and place on top of the cover a banana, or other fruit, and vanilla. In the morning I just have to grab the milk from the 'frig, cut in the banana, put in a drop or two of vanilla and put it in the microwave for a couple minutes. The whole morning process takes at most 2 1/2 minutes. In a pinch, I've been known to eat it in the car.
2) Pack my lunch the night before - the whole thing actually in my lunch bag. I live with 3 teenager athletes. If it isn't safely in my bag it will get eaten. This might not seem like an important step but it really saves a lot of time and prevents my lunches from being too skimpy which can lead to afternoon snacking when I get home.
3) Weekly menu plans that include breakfasts and lunches. Then I build my grocery list off of the menu plans for the week. This ensures that I have sufficient food in the house to prepare them.
4) Make things as easy as possible. I use leftovers for lunches . . . a lot. . . but I also have frozen emergency meal supplies that can be pulled out at the last minute.

I think it is unlikely that you will be able to address your bingeing issues without first developing some sort of rhythm to your eating. Once you know you have had two nice substantial meals, it will be easier to teach yourself that you don't really need to eat when you get home.

Good luck today.

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:26 pm
by Over43
Welcome Orion. Everything they said...

Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:39 am
by ironchef

Give your body 3 regular meals a day, and let yourself learn to trust and expect those nice, satisfying meals. If this doesn't sort out your sugar cravings and binge behaviour, then you can work on those next. One of the best things I was told here early on was "don't try to fix everything about your eating all at once". Concentrate on meal-based eating first.

Also, I have a toddler, a baby, a dog, and a part time job, and I eat three reasonable, mostly decently-spaced meals on N days. If you decide it is a priority, you will get it done. You can do this!

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 1:39 pm
by gingerpie
The more I think about it the more I think, "determination isn't so much a thing as discipline is a thing." I mean, determination, like its cousin motivation, comes and goes but it's discipline that keeps up on track through thick and thin - as it were.