Everyday Systems

Did you used to eat when you were angry? If so, what do you do instead now?

Today I had several things happen and topped off with having to call a company I never enjoy calling (they always seem to get something wrong or do something incredibly frustrating--it's never a simple matter, and everything takes way longer than it should!) When I went out to run errands, I thought--in previous days, I'd have gotten a treat on a day like this! I'd have felt like it was just-desserts for dealing with frustrating situations/people.

So, I thought it might be fun to see if others used to have a similar habit and react differently now!

FWIW, I did NOT sabotage my nice, pretty GREEN day by getting chocolate, LOL! Thankfully that little habitcal is still motivating .

I just try to be aware of whatever it is that is telling me to reach for those chips. Since I've (by and large) gotten out of the habit of snacking, I know that it probably isn't hunger. I ask myself if the urge to eat outside of a meal is hunger related, just to be sure, but usually it's a direct link between feeling anxious, irritated, or frustrated and wanting to dive into a bag of Doritos. If that emotion is what is causing the urge, I use some self talk to remind myself that eating outside of my plan will do nothing to ease the real cause of my snacking urge, and I further remind myself of my eating and weight loss goals. It usually works, but I do find it fascinating how, even after close to two years of NoS, the wiring I did to my brain of "have negative emotion=eat snack" is still intact.

What do I do now? Well, I wouldn't say I handle it well, but I don't often eat anymore. I started being more willing to suffer the anger discomfort at the moment than the overeating discomfort later. I try to use as many soothing/diffusing techniques as I can, but just like the urges to eat, it's often just a matter of waiting it out.

And, like Mitchell, my pairing mechanism is still intact. Thankfully, practicing with the prefrontal cortex is intact most days, too.

As I was thinking about replying to this, one of the things that went across my mind (and I don't yet do it but am going to implement it) is a bit of self-talk.

"Me, I know you're ticked off/sad/bored/afraid/whatever. Yes, this is an uncomfortable feeling. But you're 47. Do you necessarily require soothing for every uncomfortable thing you deal with, or is this something you can deal with without a soothing technique?"

I think in my own case, I am quite often overly self-indulgent when it comes to pampering uncomfortable feelings, and want to give myself some kind but firm self-talk about that.

Noel, I used to believe that I would actually do damage to myself by denying myself food instead of putting up with the thoughts and bodily sensations. I thought the desire would just keep building and I would eat even more. Or I would think, we'll I can get what I want right now, and I can't feel better right away, so I'll go ahead and eat. It's ludicrous when I think about it now. Sure, that happened at times but I realize now it was because I didn't let the urges peak and pass. It might be different if I hadn't eaten for days, but that's another issue.

And it's all pretty much habit.

mitchelll wrote:It usually works, but I do find it fascinating how, even after close to two years of NoS, the wiring I did to my brain of "have negative emotion=eat snack" is still intact.

It's strong wiring!

NoelFigart wrote:As I was thinking about replying to this, one of the things that went across my mind (and I don't yet do it but am going to implement it) is a bit of self-talk.

"Me, I know you're ticked off/sad/bored/afraid/whatever. Yes, this is an uncomfortable feeling. But you're 47. Do you necessarily require soothing for every uncomfortable thing you deal with, or is this something you can deal with without a soothing technique?"

I think in my own case, I am quite often overly self-indulgent when it comes to pampering uncomfortable feelings, and want to give myself some kind but firm self-talk about that.

LOL, well yes, I did some of that too. "Me, seriously, you think you deserve some kind of reward for talking on the phone to xyz frustrating person? One whole phone call, ooooh! First world problems/mentality!"

I think chocolate works faster than talking to myself though, LOL, but it may not be *healthier* on a number of levels!

There is part of me that irrationally thinks I won't totally feel better until I have chocolate on Friday. Seriously, self?

When I finally accepted that nothing was really as convenient and easy as food for a quick lift, I was able to stop expecting a straight swap.

Hope you make it to Friday, Merry.

So I wouldn't say I am an expert practitioner at this, but there is a hippy sounding thing called "grounding". This is matching what you are feeling inside with an equally strong sensation on the outside, which helps people feel better. Snacking is an easy way to do this but the theory goes that you can use other sensory experiences to calm down too. Loud music, squeezing something, stamping your feet, running your hands under cold or hot water, sucking an ice cube, smelling something strong, putting hand cream on....

Might be worth a try? I'm going to try it myself.

Wahine wrote:So I wouldn't say I am an expert practitioner at this, but there is a hippy sounding thing called "grounding". This is matching what you are feeling inside with an equally strong sensation on the outside, which helps people feel better. Snacking is an easy way to do this but the theory goes that you can use other sensory experiences to calm down too. Loud music, squeezing something, stamping your feet, running your hands under cold or hot water, sucking an ice cube, smelling something strong, putting hand cream on....

Might be worth a try? I'm going to try it myself.

From an adrenaline point of view, doing something that lets adrenaline get out (like exercise, walking etc...) would make sense too. Interesting thought about other sensory experiences.

Gum, coffee, hot chocolate