Everyday Systems

I've lost a noticeable amount of weight on no s since I started 3 months ago, and I have people asking me how I did it. Usually I just say "I stopped snacking" and this seems to instil concern in them, with the assumption that I'm not eating enough, and it feels silly to have to justify my newfound eating habits to them. Even if they have good intentions, it can get a little irritating when they start to push food my way in attempt to get me to snack. What are some ways you deflect comments or concern from others? Do you encounter similarly awkward situations and how do you deal with them? Thanks!

I've had similar conversations at work. People can't believe that just eating three meals a day and not snacking could actually make a significant difference. Plus, like you said, our society cannot fathom living without snacks. We might faint and waste away if we don't eat every two hours.

It helps me to state it in the positive: "I'm concentrating on enjoying my 3 square meals a day. Moderation in all things!" or some such. It has a traditional sound to it, and doesn't make it sound like you are being deprived of anything. But nosy people will always be there and try to get involved in sabotaging you. Be strong.

Congrats on your noticeable loss! That's awesome!

I've not had any of these conversations yet, but it makes me wonder if I will.

Just out of curiosity...are the people who are showing concern/pushing snacks on you people who also may struggle with weight issues? Are they motherly types? (I'm trying to envision people I know responding this way, LOL! I think if I get to the point where it's obvious I'm losing weight, people will want to know how, not try to stop my progress! But I guess you never know!)

congratulations on your weight loss! it always amazes me that even in short periods such remarkable changes can happen. most of the other diets are gone and forgotten by the third month ....

onto your issue:

i would stay calm and insist that the concept of not snacking is working for you and that you are doing fine. i don't know if it would stir up things more, but you could go on and say that you enjoy being hungry for your meals and you don't want to spoil your appetite.

my guess - please correct me if i'm wrong - is that people are a bit threatened. we are told over and over again that "we need snacks" to "keep the blood sugar stable" and to "keep the metabolism going" ... and there you come along, losing weight and *sheesh* are not snacking. many people get uncomfortable when a comfortable concept is shaken and they may have to reconsider.

if they start pushing food over to you just smile and say "no thanks." and if they insist just say something like "no thanks, i'm not hungry. i had breakfast/lunch/dinner and i am satisfied right now" ...

good luck!

I've been there, too with this issue... when you explain what you are doing, the person on the other end is not willing to make the same sacrifices as you and therefore projects their feelings by offering concern to you that although what you are doing is working for you, you better watch out. I would say that I am cutting out sweets and processed foods... who can argue with that? Well, can't you have fruit or carrots between meals? I choose to eat at mealtimes. I'm actually not hungry between meals, etc.

I am a big fan of No S, and I tell so many people about it, but only 1 person in 10 years ever listened and gave it a try. Even though my weight loss was proof that it works. Keep up the good work!

I don't tell anyone what I'm doing. My husband didn't even know I was doing No S for the first few months. I feel like as soon as one shares that you are changing your lifestyle, it becomes an "issue."

A simple, I'm not hungry, should suffice. If people keep pushing it's because they are not respecting their boundaries. This is their issue, not yours. Good luck and keep up the great work!!

kittson, great attitude! and very important point about boundaries and respecting them.

i haven't told my husband until after i was one week in that i'm doing this "thing". he hadn't noticed but since there are three meals and our "holy" teatime on weekends is not affected, he doesn't mind much .... but he likes me getting slimmer.

You mean you aren't going to tell us what weight you started at and where you are now?

You've heard good stuff already, but I'll second giving fewer details than more. People don't know it, but they are not asking in real sincerity.

"How did you lose the weight?"

"I quit overeating/stuffing myself as much as I was." (And laugh.)

"Oh, you know: eat less, exercise more." (The second part might be a lie...)

"A little less of this, a little less of that." (And shrug.)

Why invite the detractions? It's only human. I'm the same way. If I see someone has lost weight, I never ask for details. And in my mind, I'm always thinking "Let me see you in two years."

It's a shame that they'd be more likely to try some strict or complicated diet if you told them.

If you're taking flack, you might re-frame it as, "I don't eat when I'm not hungry." People tend to get that.

Congrats on your successes!

Wow, thank you guys for your helpful advice, I sincerely appreciate it and will definitely be putting them to practise! I certainly understand your comments about the concept of sabotage; those who struggle with their weight do have a tendency to show their insecurities when they see others doing what they have failed to do... In my experience it was always overweight/obese people using "concern" in attempt to hinder the progress I'd made. For those of you who asked, I'm 5'7, I started at an overweight 76 kg/167 lb and am now a healthy 60 kg/132 lb . Thank god for No S, I finally eat to live, and not the other way around.

Boy, this must have been JUST the ticket for you. Those are fast results! Glad to know it's been such a great fit.

Would you be willing to tell me how old you are?

My father once told me that he was concerned that I wasn't eating enough starch. (I'm over 100lbs overweight).

KEEP it up - don't make a bid deal out of it. You're successful - and that's all that matters.

Through other draconian means, I have lost 50 lbs - Usually I say when asked "Ohhh I just eat healthy...that's all." Give them nothing to judge with!! Even family. When offered food - say you're "full from the last meal - but thanks. " When confronted with concern about your eating habits say "I understand, thank you!!" and just walk way. No need to convince anybody.

Sometimes, the argument is too big (like from my slightly overbearing Mom) I take the food, and just very clandestinely push it somewhere else, give it to someone else, or scrape it onto another's plate. I know that's fibbing a little - but to be honest NO ONE will notice. LOL.

You can do this!!!

Several years ago I came up with my all-time favorite reply to pushy comments which has worked in a number of different circumstances. My go-to answer: "This makes me happy!" The other party can't argue with that!

I haven't had anyone comment negatively when I tell them that I don't snack during the week.
They've responded in a positive manner so far, and they get a look on their faces that seems to say "why didn't I think of that?"
I guess if I ran into a negative comment, my response would be "it works for me", and leave it at that.

Wow, Rikki, that is an amazing weight loss! I am your height and I haven't seen 132 since junior high. haha. Keep it up!

MaggieMae wrote:I've had similar conversations at work. People can't believe that just eating three meals a day and not snacking could actually make a significant difference. Plus, like you said, our society cannot fathom living without snacks. We might faint and waste away if we don't eat every two hours.

Perhaps you could say instead, "I'm eating three meals a day." That sounds a lot more positive than cutting out something. I can picture someone's jaw dropping when you word it that way.

Kittson wrote:I don't tell anyone what I'm doing. My husband didn't even know I was doing No S for the first few months. I feel like as soon as one shares that you are changing your lifestyle, it becomes an "issue."

Yes, and I feel like once you advertise what you're doing, people start getting involved in mandating your holiness to the eating plan. Then you start wanting to rebel against the interference.

There are good responses above. But since the barn door is open, the next time someone says something about not snacking, you could say that throughout most of human history there simply wasn't enough food to snack regularly. You ate meals when there was food and maybe had the occasional feast day for harvest or religious celebrations but people have gotten along fine for thousands and thousands of years without snacking.

People just don't like change. If you change anything at all about yourself, you're changing their world-view - and it unbalances them. There's no comfortable way to get them to accept the differences, as they also have to choose to allow it into their world-view.

They will go through times of discomfort at your change. It may last a long time, or possibly never go away. It may be just short and sweet.

I believe patience is the key here, and tolerance to some degree. When others try to feed into your actions - it just means they don't know how else to react. It may mean your original (and self harming) actions were enabling them in some way. They may even resort to some forms of cruelty to get you to go back to the way you were.

My ex-husband was an expert at this - resorting to screaming at me when I showed any kind of moral fortitude to change.

It wasn't until I realized that I had no control of how he felt - before I felt free enough to not allow his opinions to change mine.

The world around is tough enough - without us feeling intimidated by others opinions, but we can do this. We can do this!

This is what I try every day:
Face yourself with love and patience in your heart - that's why you want to change... no?
Face others with love and patience in your heart, and learn to control the gut reaction which is to "fix" their opinions of you and your changing life. Recognize that they need to change too, and you know change is hard for you, it is just as hard for others. All will work out in the end.

Over the last few weeks I have made some observations. With family members expressing their concern (eg. "you've lost weight, are you sick?", "you look skinny, don't get too skinny") about my weight loss, I've found the best way to deflect these comments is to smile warmly and simply respond along the lines of, "you think so? I feel great, actually!" or "It's not a worry, I honestly feel so much better". Like @vmsurbat said, who can oppose/argue with genuine happiness? And I should add that while I recieve comments on my weight, no one really questions my new eating habits when they see me eat because they are so normal- square meals with sweets/exesses reserved for special occasions. Gotta hand it to No S

@oolala53 I'm 19. I began the I Quit Sugar program about 2 weeks before starting No S, and continued it WITH No S- it was important to me that I stop feeling addicted to sweets all the time, and it did just the trick! It also meant my S days once I began reintroducing sugar into my diet were much more relaxed because I really didn't crave sweets much. I preferred to go out for a nice evening meal instead, or enjoy a lunch of fish and chips with family by the lake, so it really did feel special. That's what I attribute the rate of my weight loss to