Returning! Again...
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:52 am
I almost did not post because I felt shame that I'm coming back after joining a few years ago, dabbling in other things (intuitive eating, Gillian Riley, Intermittent Fasting, Macro-counting, calorie counting).... coming back for a second, and then abandoning ship again. But I'm throwing away that shame feeling!
I'm not in a [i]terrible[/i] place with food, but have established unfavorable habits that I can't quite shed and really bug me. I can eat the 3 meals/day (good, satisfying, yummy and healthy meals), but then talk myself into a cinnamon bear. Then a handful of cinnamon bears, then a snickers, then bowls of cereal. You get the picture. It goes on...
All to start again the next day.
I'm frustrated because I vacillate between the thoughts
--"you don't have to lose weight, so don't worry about it...a little treat everyday is fine" and
"but I hate how I feel dependent on candy and/or sweets and have no control at night and go to bed feeling sick...this isn't normal.".
So I'm back. I've noticed that I feel a real sense of deprivation if I can't have a little candy after dinner (even if it turns into a LOT). I don't really even savor it, but pound it down handful after handful. I'm pretty sure I'm using it to cope with my hardest time at night...putting kids to bed, doing homework with kids, etc. It does feel like an actual drug, actually.
Oh, and I should mention I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a "surprise" 5th baby...I know I know...CRAZY RIGHT?!?!? It's a GIRL after FOUR boys, though, so YAY!
I feel great, am past the terrible nausea, and am doing lots of Yoga and walks, and even skiing every Saturday with my boys.
Just want to say "HI" and sorry that I ever left "NO-S". Will you forgive me?
It just feels right to be here, even if I haven't been following the principles fully yet.
XOXO
I'm not in a [i]terrible[/i] place with food, but have established unfavorable habits that I can't quite shed and really bug me. I can eat the 3 meals/day (good, satisfying, yummy and healthy meals), but then talk myself into a cinnamon bear. Then a handful of cinnamon bears, then a snickers, then bowls of cereal. You get the picture. It goes on...
All to start again the next day.
I'm frustrated because I vacillate between the thoughts
--"you don't have to lose weight, so don't worry about it...a little treat everyday is fine" and
"but I hate how I feel dependent on candy and/or sweets and have no control at night and go to bed feeling sick...this isn't normal.".
So I'm back. I've noticed that I feel a real sense of deprivation if I can't have a little candy after dinner (even if it turns into a LOT). I don't really even savor it, but pound it down handful after handful. I'm pretty sure I'm using it to cope with my hardest time at night...putting kids to bed, doing homework with kids, etc. It does feel like an actual drug, actually.
Oh, and I should mention I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a "surprise" 5th baby...I know I know...CRAZY RIGHT?!?!? It's a GIRL after FOUR boys, though, so YAY!
I feel great, am past the terrible nausea, and am doing lots of Yoga and walks, and even skiing every Saturday with my boys.
Just want to say "HI" and sorry that I ever left "NO-S". Will you forgive me?
It just feels right to be here, even if I haven't been following the principles fully yet.
XOXO