weight focus and "emotional" eating

[oolala53]

I"m taking yet another course on the fine tuning of this dang "food" thing. The originator brought up an interesting idea to consider- or that's the way I would put it. She claims it as truth, and yes there is some evidence, but I just don't believe it's the whole picture. Yet it's a useful idea for many long time dieters, esp women who feel desperate to change the look of their body. Is there a way to loosen the hold of that desire to possibly take some emotional pressure off?

Anyway, the idea is that the degree to which we focus on weight loss (rather than how we want to live in a friendly way with food and activity) is the degree to which we will use food to solve emotional problems, if not right away then likely down the line when refeed forces arise.

BTW, the originator says that making that forbidden makes the habit even stronger. I believe No S helsp solve that because sometimes, our routine meals are pretty close to emotional eating in that sometimes, we aren't really hungry, but we partake because of needs beyond survival, such as sharing with others or just wanting the pleasure of eating. It also allows for such choices on S days or NWS days. The originator would not be in favor of such specific time limits, and I can see some reasons for that, and ways to flow with that perhaps as a precursor to more formal "fences" around our eating.

I bring this up not to declare the solution but to suggest once more that members consider if there are any other reasons to change their eating besides losing weight to look better. You may be here for other reasons already, but this is also an invitation to look again. Although I admit that there were some appearance-based advantages I suspected when I started, it was really more that I just couldn't see spending the rest of my life on a seesaw just about every day because of my eating. It's not as if getting off the seesaw solves all problems: not even close! In fact, I would say that's why I'm even still circling around the issue in my life.

I am going to post this on the check in thread as well.

[Amy3010]

Thanks for this reminder! Several years ago, you posted a list you had made of all your reasons and that was hugely inspirational for me - I came up with a full page of my own reasons, which I have refined and updated over the years. When I am in place where I feel I really need to buckle down and focus on my eating habits, I read the list every day to remind myself of why I am doing this. Many of my reasons have nothing to do with appearance! And those are the ones that actually sustain motivation in the longer term.

[ladybird30]

[quote=oolala53 post_id=209207 time=1702501425

BTW, the originator says that making that forbidden makes the habit even stronger. I believe No S helsp solve that because sometimes, our routine meals are pretty close to emotional eating in that sometimes, we aren't really hungry, but we partake because of needs beyond survival
[/quote]

I would beg to disagree with your course originators blanket statement as it doesn't fit my experience. I weaned myself off my worst trigger food 20 years ago. My desire for that food is far less than while I was still consuming it.

But I didn't want to want that food anymore, and didn't want to be a slave to my desire for it.

[ladybird30]

On reflection, the course coordinator may well be correct for some people, depending on the circumstances. It's just making it a generalisation for all situations I didn't agree with.

[oolala53]

I understand your point. I just saw this actually. I agree that we can reach a point that takes us beyond those knee-jerk reactions because I think that’s what she’s talking about. There’s so much of our eating that is driven by unconscious forces and we come up with Reasons that seem more logical to us but they’re actually driven by something else. I definitely agree that we can reach a point where you are able to side those with practice.
I definitely still eat overages sometimes, but unless something goes wrong with me cognitively, I can’t see myself going back to the habit of eating sweets, both raw and cooked, compulsively when I was frustrated or distressed. Even after all these years, I can feel myself wanting to eat for those reasons, and sometimes I actually do. But I don’t berate myself for it anymore and I also never choose the foods are used to. Once in a while, I’ll imagine it, and it’s as if the wheels on the shopping cart stop at the edge of the parking lot. There’s just a sense that says I do not want to open that door again. I don’t even care if I can eat those foods and moderate amounts. That’s really not the kind of pleasure I need anymore. And if I can’t get more life, affirming pleasure, I’m just gonna do without.