Dear fellow list members. I'm really steamed today. We had a doctor appointment today for Melissa, and it just so happened that she had her wellness check-up today. But she was also going in for her exima problem. They said she had soap exima and basically told her that she can't ever use soap to bathe. That's weird, but ok. ANyway, they also told her that she was overweight. They said she didn't need to go on a diet but that she was overweight. She is three feet and 11 inches tall. The doctor said she's 14 pounds over weight, and the internet said ten. My7 problem with this hole theory is that it's so cookie cutter. It seems like a very unrealistic approach to chilhood. I mean it's not like she's not going to have a growth spurt or something. So the doctor's like is she eating enough vegetables, drinking enough milk, I swear I felt like I was being interviewed as a candidate for child abuse. In the doctor's defense, she meant well, and in no wayn was she mean or anything like that, just kind of intense. She kept saying "We don't want her to trend up toward obesity." My problem with this whole argument is that A. She's a child. B. I don't think she's overweight, as a whole, although I do think she watches too much tv. and C. I think that part of the reason we're so fat is that we have so many doctors, health experts, media and the like, telling us how we need to be thin and how we are so fat. It's shoved down our throats, and so to have a doctor saying Gosh your kid is 14 pounds over weight and making a case of it, is kind of annoying. Like there's only one way that a kid can look or should look. Anyway, I was hoping that writing this all out would help me get over it or be more rational, which I know I'm probably not being. To defend myself, I *understand* that America has a weight problem. I understand that I myself have a weight problem. I'm just irritated, mostly at media types who are always talking about how Americans are fat and then advertisiung McDonalds and the like. It's actually more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat fast food. Anyway, so I'm done griping. Any constructive criticism or feedback or experiences would be most appreciated. I suppose the other thing I should point out in the doctor's defense is that she's going by a very scientific guide. And she really *was* trying to help, and to be a helpful doctor. Had I been in her place, I might not have brought up the overweight thing. Just asked if the child was eating healthy fruit and vegetables. Anyway, that is all for now.
Shell
griping, probably off topic
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mommashell
- Posts: 59
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Re: griping, probably off topic
In Defense of the argument that Melissa was overweight and my reaction to it, I suppose what really was bothering me is that we are not perfect. Melissa eats vegetables but not broccoli. I just don't cook it as a rule because I myself don't like it. We don't eat a lot of coliflauer or stuff like that because mostly I just can't stand the smell of such things. She *does* watch way too much tv and yes, she eats poptarts for breakfast. She likes ice cream sometimes and she says skimmed milk tastes yucky. I didn't know it but Wally has been buying her whole milk even though I told him he could buy skimmed. I told him this when she was two. I guess where this is going is that I think that in my common sense way of thinking, the doctor can take most of her opinions and shove them... uh... somewhere. Anyway. Really, here's what she said that I disagree with.
Kids should only watch one hour of tv. Less, understandable, but one hour a day? But then considering that Lissa goes through tv withdrawls when I turn it off, I guess this is the thing I *least* disagree with and am most willing to work with.
2. Don't drink whole milk because it has so much fat in it. If it's truly whole milk that is the problem then there's no problem.
3. You shouldn't drink juice because it has too much sugar. I understand this for boxed drinks and such as that, but orange juice you know, again, if it's juice that is your problem, you don't have a problem. Better to say hey no ice cream, or no cake or no McDonalds. Do you see what I'm saying? Hello, it's not the juice or the type of milk or whatever, it's whether you put chocolate in your milk or whether you try to at lesat make the chocolate fat free, and whether you drink soda or orange juice. I don't think I've ever heard of a person being overweight *specifically because they drink orange juice. So sorry for harping on this. And how does it tie into no s? It doesn't tie into no s exactly I guess, as I don't believe that kids shouldn't have snacks, but it ties more into the everyday systems way of doing things. A lot of the crap the doctors are feeding kids and parents about what they should and shouldn't eat is just nonsense. Well maybe that's just me still being kind of sore at being told that my kid, who I thought was perfectly fine, is overweight. At least that's my opinion. I think they mean well though. I think though that they sort of throw the baby out with the bath water. I had a similar experience with L.A. weight loss, which is why I actually never really tried the diet in the first place. I was talking to the counselor and she said that instant oatmeal, which I had always thought was healthy was bad unless it was plain. What a load of crap. Anyway, I argued this with her and finally said, hey better to have instant oatmeal than instant ice cream. She laughed and said I had a point. Again, throwing the baby out with the bath water. I can be almost certain that it's better to have a glas of OJ than it would be to have a soda, because orange juice comes from... everyone... oranges! Of course, the point that it's better to actually eat an orange is also a good one, and well made and taken. But if you have no oranges, or your kid is thursty for something sweet, then I say orange juice is *always* ok, not as a *treat* only. As far as what color the vegetables are, perhaps this is just because of my dislike of them, but I think that I'm doing good to get veggies into my kids no matter what the color. ANd so I'm sorry for such a long post and for sounding so you know, uh, gripy. If reinhardt wants to work on a every day system for kids, to help them get nutrition without throwing a bunch of info at them, that would be cool. A common sense approach. Something like no s geared for kids. And maybe with more about what and how much to eat, without being too restrictive. I don't know. Reinhardt is smart he will think of something. Everyone... Let's do a cheer. *jumping up and down waving pom-poms* Reinhardt, reinhardt, he's our man... If he can't do it no one can. Goooooooooooooo Reinhardt.
Shell
Kids should only watch one hour of tv. Less, understandable, but one hour a day? But then considering that Lissa goes through tv withdrawls when I turn it off, I guess this is the thing I *least* disagree with and am most willing to work with.
2. Don't drink whole milk because it has so much fat in it. If it's truly whole milk that is the problem then there's no problem.
3. You shouldn't drink juice because it has too much sugar. I understand this for boxed drinks and such as that, but orange juice you know, again, if it's juice that is your problem, you don't have a problem. Better to say hey no ice cream, or no cake or no McDonalds. Do you see what I'm saying? Hello, it's not the juice or the type of milk or whatever, it's whether you put chocolate in your milk or whether you try to at lesat make the chocolate fat free, and whether you drink soda or orange juice. I don't think I've ever heard of a person being overweight *specifically because they drink orange juice. So sorry for harping on this. And how does it tie into no s? It doesn't tie into no s exactly I guess, as I don't believe that kids shouldn't have snacks, but it ties more into the everyday systems way of doing things. A lot of the crap the doctors are feeding kids and parents about what they should and shouldn't eat is just nonsense. Well maybe that's just me still being kind of sore at being told that my kid, who I thought was perfectly fine, is overweight. At least that's my opinion. I think they mean well though. I think though that they sort of throw the baby out with the bath water. I had a similar experience with L.A. weight loss, which is why I actually never really tried the diet in the first place. I was talking to the counselor and she said that instant oatmeal, which I had always thought was healthy was bad unless it was plain. What a load of crap. Anyway, I argued this with her and finally said, hey better to have instant oatmeal than instant ice cream. She laughed and said I had a point. Again, throwing the baby out with the bath water. I can be almost certain that it's better to have a glas of OJ than it would be to have a soda, because orange juice comes from... everyone... oranges! Of course, the point that it's better to actually eat an orange is also a good one, and well made and taken. But if you have no oranges, or your kid is thursty for something sweet, then I say orange juice is *always* ok, not as a *treat* only. As far as what color the vegetables are, perhaps this is just because of my dislike of them, but I think that I'm doing good to get veggies into my kids no matter what the color. ANd so I'm sorry for such a long post and for sounding so you know, uh, gripy. If reinhardt wants to work on a every day system for kids, to help them get nutrition without throwing a bunch of info at them, that would be cool. A common sense approach. Something like no s geared for kids. And maybe with more about what and how much to eat, without being too restrictive. I don't know. Reinhardt is smart he will think of something. Everyone... Let's do a cheer. *jumping up and down waving pom-poms* Reinhardt, reinhardt, he's our man... If he can't do it no one can. Goooooooooooooo Reinhardt.
Shell
mommashell wrote:Dear fellow list members. I'm really steamed today. We had a doctor appointment today for Melissa, and it just so happened that she had her wellness check-up today. But she was also going in for her exima problem. They said she had soap exima and basically told her that she can't ever use soap to bathe. That's weird, but ok. ANyway, they also told her that she was overweight. They said she didn't need to go on a diet but that she was overweight. She is three feet and 11 inches tall. The doctor said she's 14 pounds over weight, and the internet said ten. My7 problem with this hole theory is that it's so cookie cutter. It seems like a very unrealistic approach to chilhood. I mean it's not like she's not going to have a growth spurt or something. So the doctor's like is she eating enough vegetables, drinking enough milk, I swear I felt like I was being interviewed as a candidate for child abuse. In the doctor's defense, she meant well, and in no wayn was she mean or anything like that, just kind of intense. She kept saying "We don't want her to trend up toward obesity." My problem with this whole argument is that A. She's a child. B. I don't think she's overweight, as a whole, although I do think she watches too much tv. and C. I think that part of the reason we're so fat is that we have so many doctors, health experts, media and the like, telling us how we need to be thin and how we are so fat. It's shoved down our throats, and so to have a doctor saying Gosh your kid is 14 pounds over weight and making a case of it, is kind of annoying. Like there's only one way that a kid can look or should look. Anyway, I was hoping that writing this all out would help me get over it or be more rational, which I know I'm probably not being. To defend myself, I *understand* that America has a weight problem. I understand that I myself have a weight problem. I'm just irritated, mostly at media types who are always talking about how Americans are fat and then advertisiung McDonalds and the like. It's actually more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat fast food. Anyway, so I'm done griping. Any constructive criticism or feedback or experiences would be most appreciated. I suppose the other thing I should point out in the doctor's defense is that she's going by a very scientific guide. And she really *was* trying to help, and to be a helpful doctor. Had I been in her place, I might not have brought up the overweight thing. Just asked if the child was eating healthy fruit and vegetables. Anyway, that is all for now.
Shell
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
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- Location: Great Neck, NY
Re: griping, probably off topic
Ditto!!!mommashell wrote:Everyone... Let's do a cheer. *jumping up and down waving pom-poms* Reinhardt, reinhardt, he's our man... If he can't do it no one can. Goooooooooooooo Reinhardt.
Shell
Debps.. Shell sorry for the frustrating day with the quack!
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness
Hey Shell,
How old is your daughter? I think you have a point with the milk and juice, though i guess it would depend on how much she is drinking? I personally don't think that the fat in milk is extreme, though we use 1% here just as a personal choice, not a dietary one. as for juice, my kids drink a small glass of grape-cranberry juice almost daily and they are fine. I hardly ever buy pop (except for hubby!) and i also keep a jug of water in the fridge so my boys can have some cold water after their cross country practice. My kids are also good about pouring out their snacks in a small bowl or something rather that mindlessly eating out of the bag. anyway, i guess i am saying that there are healthy choices and it sounds like you are doing good with your daughter.
on the flip side, when my 14 year old daugher was about a year old, the WIC office i went through kept sending me to a nutritionalist because she was always UNDER weight! Like i didn't know how to feed my kid or something! she just had a petite body type...she looked like a little blond china doll...so cute. anyway, she is still thin even now and totally healthy. so i think all kids are built a little different and as moms we just have to watch our own kids and see how they progress, right?
How old is your daughter? I think you have a point with the milk and juice, though i guess it would depend on how much she is drinking? I personally don't think that the fat in milk is extreme, though we use 1% here just as a personal choice, not a dietary one. as for juice, my kids drink a small glass of grape-cranberry juice almost daily and they are fine. I hardly ever buy pop (except for hubby!) and i also keep a jug of water in the fridge so my boys can have some cold water after their cross country practice. My kids are also good about pouring out their snacks in a small bowl or something rather that mindlessly eating out of the bag. anyway, i guess i am saying that there are healthy choices and it sounds like you are doing good with your daughter.
on the flip side, when my 14 year old daugher was about a year old, the WIC office i went through kept sending me to a nutritionalist because she was always UNDER weight! Like i didn't know how to feed my kid or something! she just had a petite body type...she looked like a little blond china doll...so cute. anyway, she is still thin even now and totally healthy. so i think all kids are built a little different and as moms we just have to watch our own kids and see how they progress, right?
***GRINS***
Tricia
"When you are in a jam, a good friend will bring a loaf of bread and peanut butter..."
Tricia
"When you are in a jam, a good friend will bring a loaf of bread and peanut butter..."
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Benjumanji
- Posts: 45
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- Location: Maine, USA
OK, Shell, it took me a while to get the courage to respond to this topic. I hope I don't sound like a jerk, because I'm not. What follows is written in a spirit of kindness and honesty.
Your doctor has a responsibility to say what needs to be said, whether you want to hear it or not. Your daughter's doctor wouldn't be doing her job if she didn't point out health issues at an office visit. She's not your friend, she's your medical advisor. You are paying her to diagnose and treat health problems.
I think the momma bear came out in you, mommashell, because no mom wants to think her child could have a potential weight problem. Good for you for being protective of your daughter. As you yourself said, now it's time to step back and be rational.
Ultimately, the buck stops with you (at least until she's a little taller than 3'11"). What can you do to help her learn healthier habits? One idea is googling childhood obesity and looking for tips and tricks. Or maybe you'd like to request a dietary consult from her doctor so you can discuss your family's eating habits with a professional dietician.
In the long run, your daughter will thank you for expending the energy it takes to swim against the tide of America's obesity epidemic.
Your doctor has a responsibility to say what needs to be said, whether you want to hear it or not. Your daughter's doctor wouldn't be doing her job if she didn't point out health issues at an office visit. She's not your friend, she's your medical advisor. You are paying her to diagnose and treat health problems.
I think the momma bear came out in you, mommashell, because no mom wants to think her child could have a potential weight problem. Good for you for being protective of your daughter. As you yourself said, now it's time to step back and be rational.
Ultimately, the buck stops with you (at least until she's a little taller than 3'11"). What can you do to help her learn healthier habits? One idea is googling childhood obesity and looking for tips and tricks. Or maybe you'd like to request a dietary consult from her doctor so you can discuss your family's eating habits with a professional dietician.
In the long run, your daughter will thank you for expending the energy it takes to swim against the tide of America's obesity epidemic.
Carol
"If not now, when?"
"If not now, when?"
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mommashell
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 1:38 pm
Thanks to all!!
Hi everyone. I agree with everything that was said, no courage needed. Doula chick, you hit the nail on the head and pointed out exactly what's driving me batty about this whole issue. It's like Melissa is 3-11 and 64 pounds. To me that is fine, not overweight at all. To the doctor, she's only allowed to weigh 50 pounds and anything else is overweight.. That's a very small box to put a child in. No up or down, just one weight. As for doctors and how they are supposed to act, I'm well aware of that, Carol. And I would have been *fine* with that if Melissa were *obese. But she is not, acording to the doctor. I guess it was just really hard coming from someone I *didn't know. Like suddenly you feel like someone turned on a bright light to look and count all the dust bunnies under your bed. The one or two good things that the visit accomplished is that the doctor and I talked about tv, which has been a thorn in my side for a very long time. Melissa just watched so much of it. So the doctor just told her "One hour a day." That's not my rules that's the apa's rules. I guarantee you if I'd said that she would have fought me all the way. Of course, I think perhaps that is a little extreme, but then as long as Melissa is dealing with it fine, then I am too. I have a feeling that on the weekends it's going to be very hard to enforce this rule. Ok, spare me the you're the boss stuff. I know this. And sometimes, when you're the boss, if you're hardline all the time about everything then your clientell or whatever you call them, employees will not do what you want, so for now, anyway, if I can cut down the tv on the weekdays then I won't be so hard about the weekends. I don't think it's necessarily how much tv a day you watch but how much you watch as awhole. So I'm eternally greatful for the help that the doc gave me in getting control which I had lost when I broke my leg. It's been nice yesterday and today tv off most of the time. Lissa watching her two shows, and then helping me with dishes or playing outside or using her imagination playing games. She played would you rather with me several times. And she got pretty creative. Of course, she got the idea from zoe 101 but because she wasn't watching so much zoe 101 she was able to express that idea and play the game. I guess what I'm most scared of is becoming finatical about all this. I don't want to be the kind of mom that just says no to *everything that isn't supposed to be good because I'm scared that the least little bit of fat will make her fat, but because I want things to be perfect all the time, and I was caught unawares because I really thought Melissa's weight was fine, now I have a tendency to constantly be worrying that I'm giving her the wrong things or not giving her enough of the right things. And if you have read this far, thanks and bless you. I'm really *trying to do my job. I did find a lot of healthy recipes on better homes and gardens website which I'm going to look over now.
Shell
Shell
Just think of it as both of you on the same healthy journey. Deb and her son Richie are helping each other. My daughter and I are too. The two of you are in the health game together. Leave weight out of it. I agree with you it could get her too worried about weight if you make it about the how much do you weigh today issue. Making it a matter of I love you and I am learning so much more every day about how to be healthy and I would like you and me to exercise and remind each other to eat healthy. Everyone wants to be healthy. That has nothing to do with self image and being skinny or fat or anywhere in between. Frankly, I think the emphasis on these boards (certainly me included) is too much about the almighty scale. Isn't it all about feeling good and making sure the body operates well. Doesn't have to be all serious. Making it a game could be a cool thing to share with each other. Sort of like the game you played with her when the TV was off. How cool was that?
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
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mommashell
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 1:38 pm
Thanks pangelsu. Yes, playing the game with her was cool. For me my biggest worry is not the scale. I don't weigh her often at all. It's never been about if she loses weight or not, it's more *am I doing enough, am I doing the right things? I myself am terrible at being healthy. I hate green stuff unless it's in a salad. I *like* ice cream. But you hit the other nail on the head of kind of how I'm looking at this. It's a journey that we're doing together. And I guess I don't walk to the same beat as many others who are trying to get healthier. I don't spend hours at the gym. Heck not even an hour unless I attend my water aerobics class. I don't believe you have to give up all good things and I certainly don't want to throw any babies out with bath water. On the other hand, I don't think that no s would work for kids because they're just so hungry all the time, so my strategy is kind of shaping up like this. Turn off tv. That's the biggest and most prevelent of problems. Save the fast food and eating out for weekends unless it's something healthy like subway maybe. Limit snacks to either healthy snacks or smaller portions of the not quite so healthy ones, (like in a baggie instead of grabbing the whole bag of chitos or something. And of course, exercise. I'm not really worried about this for her during the week, just on weekend. I'm not particularly worried about juice since we don't just drink tons of it. I do like my orange juice though. And I'm not particularly worried about the chocolate that we put in the skimmed milk we bought. It may be adding some calories, but so what. The vitamins are still in the milk. What is that expression? A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down... The medicine go down. Medicine go down. *grin! So that's my plan. Hopefuly it won't fail.pangelsue wrote:Just think of it as both of you on the same healthy journey. Deb and her son Richie are helping each other. My daughter and I are too. The two of you are in the health game together. Leave weight out of it. I agree with you it could get her too worried about weight if you make it about the how much do you weigh today issue. Making it a matter of I love you and I am learning so much more every day about how to be healthy and I would like you and me to exercise and remind each other to eat healthy. Everyone wants to be healthy. That has nothing to do with self image and being skinny or fat or anywhere in between. Frankly, I think the emphasis on these boards (certainly me included) is too much about the almighty scale. Isn't it all about feeling good and making sure the body operates well. Doesn't have to be all serious. Making it a game could be a cool thing to share with each other. Sort of like the game you played with her when the TV was off. How cool was that?
Shell
I understand
Hearing that your child might be a few pounds too heavy is hard. Remember that a lot of the food we buy today is filled with high fructose corn syrup, msg, hydrogenated fat, and other perservatives and artificial flavors that our bodies were never ment to ingest. I have read and heard that these substances can cause weight gain and increased appetite. And what is really upsetting is that they can be found in things that seem "healthy". Like boxed rice, and yogurt. Sauce packets we can buy to flavor our roast or chicken has msg and trans fat in it. The other day I picked up some organic ice cream and it had something called gugar gum (that is a chemical substance). Damn the food industry for wanting to make money at the expense of our health. I have become a label reader at the store. Even so, it is hard because we all lead such busy lives that we don't have time to make everything from scratch, so we turn to convenience products. I have a weight problem now, but I was thin as a child. Why? I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that my mom stayed at home and cooked everything from scratch. I mean everything. When I grew up I started eating processed food and prepackaged food. We almost have to be neurotic and quite our jobs to avoid eating these substances all together. Don't worry, just turn off that t.v. and walk to the park everyday - it's good for your little girl and for you 
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Well, I think I see the doctor's point. If 50 pounds is the "normal" weight for someone 3'11", then 64 pounds is over 25% above the ideal weight for a child that height. It's something that you DO want to stop before it becomes a real problem. 14 pounds doesn't sound like much, but when you look at the percentage of ideal weight, it's a different story.
While she may not need to lose weight, you might not want her to gain any weight until her height catches up to her weight -- or something within a more normal range.
I never encouraged juice as a beverage. (Didn't encourage milk, either, but that's because I don't like it at all.) The problem with juice is that it's high in calories. You know, eating one orange is one thing, but it takes 2-3 oranges or more to get the glass of juice. So when you drink the juice, you get pretty much all of the calories of the 2-3 or more oranges without the filling fiber of the fruit.
I always gave my kids water. Now they both prefer water, sometimes with a wedge of lime or lemon, to most other beverages.
One thing I've noticed that be it children or adults, so many people are overweight that extra pounds look "normal." People who are near an ideal weight look skinny, and those who are at an ideal weight or under it, look extremely slim. Our eyes have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people, so they appear normal.
While she may not need to lose weight, you might not want her to gain any weight until her height catches up to her weight -- or something within a more normal range.
I never encouraged juice as a beverage. (Didn't encourage milk, either, but that's because I don't like it at all.) The problem with juice is that it's high in calories. You know, eating one orange is one thing, but it takes 2-3 oranges or more to get the glass of juice. So when you drink the juice, you get pretty much all of the calories of the 2-3 or more oranges without the filling fiber of the fruit.
I always gave my kids water. Now they both prefer water, sometimes with a wedge of lime or lemon, to most other beverages.
One thing I've noticed that be it children or adults, so many people are overweight that extra pounds look "normal." People who are near an ideal weight look skinny, and those who are at an ideal weight or under it, look extremely slim. Our eyes have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people, so they appear normal.
This is probably too obvious, but why not try to get your daughter to practice No S.
I have 5 cousins, my mother's sisters children, who when they were growing up were not allowed to eat in between meals. This came from their father who was super strict. They could eat as much as they wanted at meal time but absolutely no snacks. Me and my brothers and sisters all thought this was very mean.
But guess what? All of those cousins were slim kids and are all slim adults as are my aunt and uncle. And when we have a family get together with a big meal/feast they don't exactly eat like birds. They chow down just like the rest of us.
So I guess my uncle Al knew what he was doing.
I have 5 cousins, my mother's sisters children, who when they were growing up were not allowed to eat in between meals. This came from their father who was super strict. They could eat as much as they wanted at meal time but absolutely no snacks. Me and my brothers and sisters all thought this was very mean.
But guess what? All of those cousins were slim kids and are all slim adults as are my aunt and uncle. And when we have a family get together with a big meal/feast they don't exactly eat like birds. They chow down just like the rest of us.
So I guess my uncle Al knew what he was doing.
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mommashell
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri May 19, 2006 1:38 pm
Hi Everyone. Thanks for your suggestions and comments and observations. You all had wonderful points to make, whether I agreed with them or not. I'm sorry I've been so bearish about all this. It's very hard to hear this when you have thought your child was normal. It's would be like thinking that your child could hear and understand you for years, and then suddenly finding out that no, she can't really hear you at all, she's deaf, and you've thought she wasn't. That's how I felt. It would have been very different if I'd 8known* from the outset. I judge myself to be such an idiot. You know? I still don't agree with the argument for not drinking juice, but since we don't drink it obsessively or anything I'm not too worried about it. My argument is just better to get those calories from a fruit juice that has vitamins than from a soda with no vitamins. Besides one serving of orange juice is 25 percent of your daily fruits and vegetables. However, we do eat more fruit than we drink juice anyway. As for being neurotic about chemicals, I'm not touching that one. I'm neurotic about enough things as it is without being a finatical label reader. Besides which, for me to read labels would require a partner that would also read labels. And ignorance is bliss. You know? About putting Melissa and Kaeli on no s, one step at a time. I'd like to do that eventually, but you know how a journey begins with a single step? Well, right now my step is accepting that there really is a problem where I *wasn't aware* that one existed. And once I've gotten my head around that, which I am close to doing, and once I've gotten the kids used to not snacking so much, it will be easier. I am not opposed to the idea, but I think it's a little hard when they get snacks at school all the time. You can't just throw a bunch of changes at them all at once. They've already suffeed a big loss with the cutback on TV. But as I said I'm not opposed. Just unsure where to go at this point. I mean it's not like you can just tell the teacher not to serve snacks at school, because then the teacher would almost have to do that to everyone. Might not be a bad idea, but not everyone thinks like me and I'm not ready to put on a zealout hat. Just my thoughts, but I *do appreciate the points that have been made by everyone, because I *am* confused, and unsure where to go.
="Toro"]This is probably too obvious, but why not try to get your daughter to practice No S.
I have 5 cousins, my mother's sisters children, who when they were growing up were not allowed to eat in between meals. This came from their father who was super strict. They could eat as much as they wanted at meal time but absolutely no snacks. Me and my brothers and sisters all thought this was very mean.
But guess what? All of those cousins were slim kids and are all slim adults as are my aunt and uncle. And when we have a family get together with a big meal/feast they don't exactly eat like birds. They chow down just like the rest of us.
So I guess my uncle Al knew what he was doing.[/quote]
="Toro"]This is probably too obvious, but why not try to get your daughter to practice No S.
I have 5 cousins, my mother's sisters children, who when they were growing up were not allowed to eat in between meals. This came from their father who was super strict. They could eat as much as they wanted at meal time but absolutely no snacks. Me and my brothers and sisters all thought this was very mean.
But guess what? All of those cousins were slim kids and are all slim adults as are my aunt and uncle. And when we have a family get together with a big meal/feast they don't exactly eat like birds. They chow down just like the rest of us.
So I guess my uncle Al knew what he was doing.[/quote]
Hey Momma! I did want to state that no one said your child is not normal and it doesn't sound like the Dr did either.
But is normal or average what you aspire your girl to be? If so, then great. If not, maybe this is a wakeup call to you to join together and take one more walk per week together after dinner. And maybe eat one less bowl of that ice cream she likes so much every couple weeks. Just like No S, the little changes add up.
Being a mother myself I understand the protective nature you are exhibiting but BEN was right. I know it's hard to hear but you need to take personal responsibility for the items that you allow your daughter to eat and the time she is allowed to sit idly.
Maya Angelou has the best saying.... We did the best we could and when we knew better we did better.
Now you know better as the Dr told you. Try to accept that MAYBE you and your daughter have made a few poor choices here & there and try to adjust. We all have made poor food choices and we all now know better.
But is normal or average what you aspire your girl to be? If so, then great. If not, maybe this is a wakeup call to you to join together and take one more walk per week together after dinner. And maybe eat one less bowl of that ice cream she likes so much every couple weeks. Just like No S, the little changes add up.
Being a mother myself I understand the protective nature you are exhibiting but BEN was right. I know it's hard to hear but you need to take personal responsibility for the items that you allow your daughter to eat and the time she is allowed to sit idly.
Maya Angelou has the best saying.... We did the best we could and when we knew better we did better.
Now you know better as the Dr told you. Try to accept that MAYBE you and your daughter have made a few poor choices here & there and try to adjust. We all have made poor food choices and we all now know better.
~I'm still not perfect~
~Sophie~
~Sophie~
Hi Mommashell,
Speaking from my personal experience, as well as what other family members have experienced, I'd say one thing: maybe it is good to pay attention to this. Here's my story: my parents fed me healthy stuff, but didn't pay enough attention to making sure I got enough exercise. Then I got to be chubby. (My waist size was larger back then than it is now, and I was a foot shorter.) I endured being tormented and teased by my classmates which gave me serious body image issues. Every day I had to be called "fat b**** or fat f***" and asked if I was pregnant; kids called me up and told me to lose weight. I remember at a party being yelled at for going up to the buffet (just to get some juice!)--hearing stuff like "hey fatso, going to pork up some more, eh?" It was absolutely miserable. I still to this day have difficulty talking about it out loud without crying.
Eventually, my parents wised up and made sure I wasn't eating too much and exercised more, but by then the psychological damage was done; plus, I'm still to this day somewhat overweight (although way less than before). They made sure that there was no junk in the house. They stopped having snacks (so I stopped too). They got me into an after-school swimming class, which I enjoyed a lot. They didn't make a big deal of it or anything, but these small changes helped me. By the time I had entered high school, I had lost a fair amount of weight and it improved my life enormously. People liked me more. Boys paid attention to me. I felt better physically.
In our sexist society, girls are under much more pressure to look good. I'm not saying that you should feed this sexist standard and make your girl image-obsessed. Nevertheless, you have to understand though that if she gets to be overweight, she's going to suffer a LOT. Growing up is difficult enough without having to be singled out as the fat kid.
I currently have a 9-year-old niece who is 150 pounds. She complains about how the first thing people think when they see her is that she's fat. She lags behind and pants heavily when we go on an easy walk. She's essentially a poster child for diabetes. My sister-in-law saw this coming for years (my niece got chubby and then beyond chubby from early on) but she kept (and continues to keep) plenty of chips, candy, cookies, and cakes around the house. She rewards my niece with chocolates. I honestly feel that my sister-in-law could have prevented this by just getting rid of the junk around the house, giving my niece non-food incentives for good behavior, and maybe getting her to walk or play ball a bit, but she didn't, and now my niece is really hosed.
I'm not saying that your child is hugely overweight or that she will become that way. But do her a favor (and yourself too) and get rid of those Pop Tarts (or other similar stuff), and get her to be more active. Regardless of whether she's overweight or not, she would only stand to benefit. Sorry, I hope I haven't offended you, but I just want to save another girl from the pain that I experienced.
--H
Speaking from my personal experience, as well as what other family members have experienced, I'd say one thing: maybe it is good to pay attention to this. Here's my story: my parents fed me healthy stuff, but didn't pay enough attention to making sure I got enough exercise. Then I got to be chubby. (My waist size was larger back then than it is now, and I was a foot shorter.) I endured being tormented and teased by my classmates which gave me serious body image issues. Every day I had to be called "fat b**** or fat f***" and asked if I was pregnant; kids called me up and told me to lose weight. I remember at a party being yelled at for going up to the buffet (just to get some juice!)--hearing stuff like "hey fatso, going to pork up some more, eh?" It was absolutely miserable. I still to this day have difficulty talking about it out loud without crying.
Eventually, my parents wised up and made sure I wasn't eating too much and exercised more, but by then the psychological damage was done; plus, I'm still to this day somewhat overweight (although way less than before). They made sure that there was no junk in the house. They stopped having snacks (so I stopped too). They got me into an after-school swimming class, which I enjoyed a lot. They didn't make a big deal of it or anything, but these small changes helped me. By the time I had entered high school, I had lost a fair amount of weight and it improved my life enormously. People liked me more. Boys paid attention to me. I felt better physically.
In our sexist society, girls are under much more pressure to look good. I'm not saying that you should feed this sexist standard and make your girl image-obsessed. Nevertheless, you have to understand though that if she gets to be overweight, she's going to suffer a LOT. Growing up is difficult enough without having to be singled out as the fat kid.
I currently have a 9-year-old niece who is 150 pounds. She complains about how the first thing people think when they see her is that she's fat. She lags behind and pants heavily when we go on an easy walk. She's essentially a poster child for diabetes. My sister-in-law saw this coming for years (my niece got chubby and then beyond chubby from early on) but she kept (and continues to keep) plenty of chips, candy, cookies, and cakes around the house. She rewards my niece with chocolates. I honestly feel that my sister-in-law could have prevented this by just getting rid of the junk around the house, giving my niece non-food incentives for good behavior, and maybe getting her to walk or play ball a bit, but she didn't, and now my niece is really hosed.
I'm not saying that your child is hugely overweight or that she will become that way. But do her a favor (and yourself too) and get rid of those Pop Tarts (or other similar stuff), and get her to be more active. Regardless of whether she's overweight or not, she would only stand to benefit. Sorry, I hope I haven't offended you, but I just want to save another girl from the pain that I experienced.
--H