Everyday Systems

Last week I spent a 4 day weekend abroad, at a traditional wedding (12 course dinner!) ceremony. Luckily, two of the days were on S days, and though I scheduled one of the other days as an S day, I was unable to find the strength to No-S on the fourth day.

Somehow, this perpetrated a week of failures. I feel out of control and I am aware of a need for a system to get on track. To use one of Reinhard's metaphors, I need a "rebooting protocol."

I mean, I know I can get back on track through the brute force of my will, but, in terms of habit, I can imagine that some kind of ritual that could signal an "enough is enough" mechanism in my brain.

I know that some people brush their teeth after a binge to signal that it is over. I wonder what kind of ritual could signal a return to No-S after a significant lapse? Any ideas?

Little golden stars on my wall calendar work very well for me! Very kindergarten-ish but it keeps me motivated. A string of days which should have had the stars but don't, due to my falling off the wagon does not look good and is a very visual reminder.

Savita

Hi! I'm new here, but I've found that what works for me is to break the cycle by sitting down and having a real meal. It kind of demarcates that it's where the real meals start again. Also, I eat enough so that I don't get too hungry for my next meal. So instead of trying to have a small breakfast to make up for a bad day of eating, I just start over again the next day.

Good luck

Marking a calendar with stars or colored marks or a using the online habitcal is a great motivational technique.

Another (perhaps complementary) idea is to write a little todo list for yourself every day -- with No S on top. Make no-s your only todo if necessary (best to keep the list short in any case). Carry the todo list with you in your wallet. Look at it frequently throughout the day.

Both of these techniques (marking a calendar, writing out orders for yourself) leverage the irrational but enormous power of creating a physical or external "contract" with yourself (they also limit the contract to one day, so there's no long wait for a reboot if you don't manage to fulfill it). The fact that it seems toddleresque is an argument for it, not against: it's deeply and primally motivating. And as far as diet and exercise is concerned, most of us are toddlers -- the techniques of toilet training ARE appropriate. Let's not be too proud to admit it.

Reinhard