Everyday Systems

I love my no s days, I feel so much in control, but when s days come, I feel like I'm on a diet. "Should I eat this? Should I eat that? I'll have to wait a whole week before I can eat this again, so I'd better eat it now. Or should I?" This is my third s weekend, I'm doing a little better than my first one, but I can hardly wait until Monday. How do you feel?

irish wrote:I love my no s days, I feel so much in control, but when s days come, I feel like I'm on a diet. "Should I eat this? Should I eat that? I'll have to wait a whole week before I can eat this again, so I'd better eat it now. Or should I?" This is my third s weekend, I'm doing a little better than my first one, but I can hardly wait until Monday. How do you feel?

A little scared that I will over do it, I undertand about the other days of being in more control. I hope that the more we do this the easier it will get. God BLess.

I agree with both of you - I spend the weekend worrying that I will wipe out the good effort of the week. I also wonder how you can build up a 21 day habit when you are taking two days off after every five days of forming the habit.

Well, I'm sorry to hear this. S-days are supposed to be the reward -- the most enjoyable days.

If they're not, well, I'd put the primary focus on trying to enjoy them more, on proactively planning something really nice. I think that will ultimately result in your eating less (and stressing less -- the two are related).

Do keep in mind that time and habit will help in this regard. Right now, starting out, you've still got a lot of hang-ups about food. When you take the training wheels of the weekday rules off, you're still very wobbly. After a few more weeks of practice I think you'll be substantially less so.

If for some reason after a few weeks you don't find that practice and proactive pleasure do the trick for you, there are ways of adding additional structure to S-days that are relatively simple and humane and in keeping with the basic spirit of No-s. For example, you could limit yourself to one (or some similarly small predetermined number) of "s-events" per routine, weekend s-day (with no limits for major holidays, think of these as "capital S days" vs. lowercase s-days). I wouldn't try this up front because new rules mean new risk of demoralizing resentment and failure, and I can't say from experience whether it works, but it seems like a reasonable idea if vanilla no-s doesn't cut it for you that builds on what you have rather than starting over from scratch.

Hope you soon start enjoying your S-days as much as I do!

Reinhard

irish wrote:I also wonder how you can build up a 21 day habit when you are taking two days off after every five days of forming the habit.

The S days are part of the habit, not separate from it. Also, though most of us will do it initially and at one time or another after the habits are well-established, S days aren't license to binge. They're simply days to relax and enjoy the things that would make you feel deprived if you had to do without them forever. You can have any or all of snacks, sweets or seconds, but that doesn't mean you eat to excess or overindulge.

I once read that when Jacqueline Onassis was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma she said something to the effect of "All those years of being careful about what I ate. If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have enjoyed myself more." That's the purpose of S days: to enjoy yourself and not regret years spent "dieting."

This is my third weekend. I promised my 92 year old mother that we would have pizza today. Now, I love pizza, so she didn't have a very hard sell. Besides, I can't tell her no anyway. I ended up eating some salad, 1/4 of a personal pan pizza and one cheese breadstick. I didn't stop eating because I felt guilty, I stopped because that's all I wanted to eat. I think when I found out that I wouldn't die without snacking every two hours, it changed my entire thinking about eating. I don't have to eat like a pig to be happy and satisfied and I don't have to go without foods that I enjoy. Why didn't I find this way of eating 7 diets ago. My precious mother is happy with my new life style, because when I take her out on Saturday, we can eat where she chooses instead of the soup and salad joint.

I'm reading the book right now and I'm at the part where he talks about S days. I love the way he explains bingeing...that it's a reaction to deprivation. Wow. That just says it all to me. In fact, I NEVER binged before I ever started trying to lose weight...and then, of coarse the binges caused me to gain weight...and then trying to lose it...and then binging...and on and on.

This is only my second S weekend but I can already see and feel the "magic" happening. It felt wierd not having the structure, but also a bit freer. I ate 2 chocolate cookies today and ya know...I was just about to list all the other snacks, sweets and seconds I had today, but I just realized that there weren't any others! I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT!! LOL! It's so absolutely hilarious to me b/c I SOOO planned on being bad...an idiot even. I had every intention, but somehow, it just didn't happen. As a matter of fact, looking around here, there's an opened M&M package half full (dang kids leaving messes) that's been sitting in front of me for the hour I've been online. I JUST noticed it and have no desire to touch any of it! I'm not trying to be uninterested...I just am.

Do you know what a miracle this is for me? That's exciting and gives me so much hope!

So I guess even with my little experiance at No S-ing, I'd have to say to go for it on S days. Have what you want, especially in the beginning and the "magic" will happen.

I feel pretty good on S-days, I felt kind of bad the very first few weekends because I felt I had overdone it when I realized I was stuffed, eventually, I learned not to eat too much on S-days and make it more of a "special treat" kinda thing.
Today, I had a second slice of bread spreaded with a mound of triple cream brie cheese, which is my favorite cheese with my dinner, and I'm still relishing it, so far that's enough for today.

I do understand that you are afraid of going all out and eating too much of too many things, but, as Reihard says, it gets easier and easier to manage your S-days urges, trust me: when eating right during the week, your stomach starts needing less and less to feel full, until it accepts only what's necessary for good health; first weekends?, whoah!, you eat and eat and that's normal, part of the proccess of this all, but then, you just start getting satisfied with less and soon enough, going all out on S-days doesn't seem like such an enjoyable idea any longer.

Afraid that bad habits will prolongue into N days?, simply turn off the page on sunday night: the week and the week's S days are over and done with and a new week is starting; nevermind what you did or didn't do last week.
You tell yourself that this week it will be a bit easier and you won't be lying to yourself, because it will be easier.

I can understand the fear. I've had some appalling S-days.

I did learn something yesterday. I was starting to get hungry a bit before lunch, glanced at the clock and thought, "Oh, it's not lunch time yet" quickly followed with, "It's an S day, you can go have a snack."

I went into the kitchen fully intending to make a snack. But... habit being what it is, I pulled out a dinner plate and found myself preparing lunch on automatic pilot.

After that, I did have three squares of fancy dark chocolate later in the afternoon with the children when we did our taste test. And I did have seconds when we went to the Chinese buffet. (I was full and didn't choose to have dessert, still having some chocolate at home. I didn't choose to eat any after dinner but I will almost certainly have some today).

But I found out that if I eat breakfast and lunch as MEALS I'm just not as eager to go overboard.

The point is that the relaxing the rules on weekends keeps you from snapping and going nuts with food 'cause you're sick of "dieting", and habits really do carry over after awhile.

This is what I do...whether it is "right" or not...I dont know....
Because of the whold habit thing, I go ahead and plan to have 3 meals. BUT BECAUSE it is an S day, I allow some leeway if needed. For example, yesterday, I was not hungry at supper, so i didnt eat. IF it had been an N day, I would prob. have made myself eat something even if it was a small salad.
With my 3 meals on S days, I allow my self a treat IF I want one. The key I think is self-control. This whole eating plan for me centers on whether or not I am being gluttonous. Like with my m&m's yesterday. I felt a small twinge of hunger, and grabbed a small handful of peanut m&ms. That was a treat I allowed myself. What I didn't allow myself to do was down the whole bag.
I dont know if all this rambing made sense.
Bottom line for me....YES, treat yourself, ENJOY S days, but I just need to remember that selfcontrol is still important.

cornelia wrote: I didn't stop eating because I felt guilty, I stopped because that's all I wanted to eat. I think when I found out that I wouldn't die without snacking every two hours, it changed my entire thinking about eating. I don't have to eat like a pig to be happy and satisfied and I don't have to go without foods that I enjoy. .

BINGO! It took me a while to realize this!! But you have a great point!

I don't restrict myself at all on S days. If I do then I end up having a bad week, since I wind up feeling deprived- like I didn't get to take full advantage of my S days.

As time has gone by, my S days pretty much look like N days (because that's really what my stomach prefers- it hates being overloaded from permasnacking) with a sweet or 2 tossed in.

I'm into my 3rd week...and this is my 3rd S weekend. I'm finding like most posters here that if I treat S days like N days..in that the 3 meals come first. Then if I want a sweet, or a snack, or 2nds I go ahead and have them, but I have found that most times I don't, or maybe only want a sweet and I make it something really nice and special. That doesn't have to be fancy and elaborate, just something I'm really liking the sound of, rather then any old sweet that I can grab.

I would just say...have patience, the 21 day Habit may take more then 21 days for some of us, to really kick in. In the meantime, just be 'aware' of your thought processes, your hunger feelings, your emotional state etc. when you are eating. It'll all come around in it's/your own time.

I still choose to count calories by using my food journaling software program.
I am also well aware that going over my total day's calorie burn rate every S day
will cause me to gain weight....
........unless my N day meals are very severely restricted.
And if I choose to do that, I'll just find myself back in a "binge/fast" mode.

I'm still counting calories, but I'm getting more of a feel for what I can and can not eat and budgeting in advance. For example, today my husband is going to make a vegan pecan pie and there's vegan pecan praline ice cream in the freezer which so far I have not yet touched, but I know I am going to eat them later, so for breakfast I have had....one banana.

Strangely enough, I'm not hungry for more!

f

I really appreciate all your replies. After I posted on Sat. I did much better, in fact, really well. Now it's Sunday, and I've already eaten too much - much more than I had planned to, especially sweets. But perhaps, being so full, I won't eat much until this evening, when I'm going out for dinner. Hopefully next weekend will be better.

It just takes time. Obviously moderation is a problem for us isn't it? I have been doing this for nearly 3 months and I've noticed lately that I can actually tell myself: "You have actually had some nice treats already so if you don't eat this now you can wait until next weekend, the weeks are so easy and go by so fast anyway". I wouldn't have thought in a million years that I would be thinking this way. It takes time, and a lot more than 21 days for me, that's for sure. But I know this is worth the time it will take to truly be how I live my life.

The best thing I have done to get my S days under control (and I didn't see any loss until I did this) is to eat my 3 meals. I am so much less tempted by sweets when I have had a nice breakfast of my fav high fiber cereal and some fruit. It kinda gives me that warm in control feeling that I enjoy on N days. I find I can enjoy some treats without crossing the line into binging.

Good luck.

I love S days. For me I like the contrast between the structure on N days and no structure on S days. My life is very different on N days and S days. On N days I am up early and pretty much go throughout the days. S days are much slower, get up late, time to walk over and get our donuts and coffee, tea so I eat my first meal much later those days ... they are filling so usually we just don't get hungry until later in the day. I usually also plan some of my favorite meals on S days ... pizza, sandwiches, pasta .. things that if I eat all the time give me runny nose and brain fog

I guess I really like variety and have never found a way to get it into my life in a sensible consistent way. This is what No S gives me. I also love my veggies, beans, eggs, yogurt, salads, so i get to really enjoy those on my N days.

the truth is I love S days AND i love N days ... they are different and they keep me out of my tendency to get into ruts with my eating AND they give me this sense of freedom and release that I need ... on S days I am free from HAVING to eat three meals a day, and not eat Sweets, and on No days I am free from sweets and get to look forward to the structure of three meals a day ... so it's just a really nice cycle. I love it.

Blueskighs

I'm actually looking forward to my next S days, and how I can successfully manage them. I just finished my 21 days, and now I want to do a great month of May, with no regrets. I'll keep you posted, and am looking forward to your support. Also, I lost 2.5 pounds in my 21 days, not too bad for someone who is only 3 more pounds from her target weight. Thanks, Reinhold.

irish,

THAT IS GREAT!

Blueskighs

S days are not a license to binge.
My S days used to be a binge free for all.
However, I have come to realize when you give your body real food at regular times on a regular basis, eventually, your body will want to honor that habit even on S days.
Some of the things that have helped me--
Stick to three meals and have dessert.
Or
Allow one snack that you desire.
Or
Not stess about the portion size at restaurant.
Or
Have that margarita.

I eat real food during the week. Come Saturday and Sunday, I still want real food with a "junky" twist like nachos and a margarita.

The longer I stick with No S, the more my focus is off of food on the weekends.

S days are supposed to be pleasurable, a reward, something that you look forward to.

I try to spend some time on Saturdays and Sundays trying to find some stress relief. A longer walk, maybe reading, some meditation. Once I have found some peace in the day then I don't feel the urgency to have the binge free for all that I used to.

Hope that helps.

After another great week, I'm ready to start my 2 no S days, but I feel more motivated than in the past. Wait (weight?) til tomorrow.

Not a good s day, in spite of all my good resolutions. My meals were good - the snacking killed me. It's as if I feel I should eat every goodie I have in the house, even if they are healthy goodies, like bruschetta & bread.

irish,

sorry to hear your s day was rough

Blueskighs