Everyday Systems

You thought I was going to say a certain number of pounds, didn't you? Well, that's not what this post is about at all.

What I have lost since discovering this way of eating (maybe I should say re-discovering, since it's the way I used to eat when I was young)... what I have lost are feelings of guilt, resentment, and shame.

Guilt - I used to feel guilty when I ate certain things and I would try to hide the evidence. I felt guilty about the expense, the waste (I wasn't even hungry), the lies that I might have to tell about why it was all gone.

Resentment - If somebody else was eating something that I couldn't have because I was on a diet, I was really resentful. When I was thin (because of practically starving myself) I would even be resentful of people who were not thin! My crazy mind said they got to eat whatever they wanted and that they didn't care what they looked like. I was jealous and resentful if you were thin and I saw you eating something that I wouldn't let myself have. How come you got to eat that stuff and be thin and I couldn't? Boy, was I in denial! It didn't matter if you were thin or fat, you were luckier than me...

Shame - I felt shame over how I looked, how I ate, the thoughts I had about comparing myself always to others.

Since I have stopped dieting and just started to eat like a "normal" person, I have lost all those things. I have no reason to feel guilty now. I don't resent what anybody else gets to have or how they look. Phew, this one is really a relief, since I can't control anybody but myself anyway! And shame was just masking the denial. I look the way I do because of the way I have taken care (or not) of myself. Again, it makes no sense to compare myself to others. We each are given a body to work with. Mine is mine, yours is yours.

Free at last, free at last, free at last...

I'll be forever grateful, Reinhard.

I can relate to this too !!!
You just keep it up !!!
Your doing great!!

Losing guilt, resentment and shame probably feels like equally as big a loss (from the weight that used to be on your shoulders) as anything that shows as a loss on the scale. Good for you! Congratulations!!

Jill --This has been in my thoughts now that I have completed one month. Thank you for expressing it so well! I'll second wosnes.

Yay Jill!

Jill,

I'm very happy to hear this and thrilled to have had anything to do with it. Congratulations!

It is funny what huge and unexpected positive side effects these three little rules and one exception can have. It's a little astonishing that they work at all, they're so simple, and moderate and obvious -- and then you get this.

Reinhard

Jill, how right you are! Thank you for putting it into such good focus for all of us. There is such a freedom with this plan...as you said, re-learning to eat the way we were brought up...and I don't want to say how many years ago that was for me!

Jill, I so totally relate.

Doesn't food taste better without the side order of guilt?

Jill,

I have lost those things as well ...
and yes...

free at last free at last free at last!

Blueskighs

I'm convinced that compulsive overeating is the result of weird diets. Now that I can eat 3 good meals a day, my whole approach is different. No sneaking, no cravings that I can't resist, no binging, and NO GUILT. I enjoy food now in a way I never have before. I've lost 5 pounds in a month, and I really think this is something I can do forever. Whenever I think about food (if I get hungry between meals) I tell myself that I will have a good meal soon. Like in a few hours, not in several months when I finish the diet (of course they never last several months, and the more restrictive, the sooner they end.) I always eat a dessert on the weekends, and don't do what I would have traditionally done, which is be more restrictive in anticipation of a greater weight loss. My attitude now is that I have to learn how to eat sweets moderately sometime, and now is the time.

I'm convinced that compulsive overeating is the result of weird diets.

feelgood,
me too!

what is AMAZING to me is how this is just naturally and organically changing on No S. I am simply adhering religiously to my three meals on N days and I am:

slowing down when I eat

enjoying my food more

stopping when I am full, i.e. not cleaning my plate

reducing my treat sizes

all of this without conscious effort, it is all happening just because I am staying ON HABIT,

Blueskighs

We should all hope to report these kinds of losses.