I'm not doing so well with S days

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 4:55 pm

So yesterday was my first official "S" day. The days before I really had no trouble following the rules. It was simple; I knew what I had to do. Even the evenings I went out on a date, to the movies with friends - I stuck to black coffee - no alcohol, no creamy sweet coffees - because I already had dinner etc.

I wanted to continue 3 meals yesterday (Saturday) but maybe add a sweet. It just didn't work. It's like I knew I had freedom and took advantage of it to the fullest force. I just went totally out of whack.

While I was waiting to pick up my friend around 9:30 pm, I looked in the fridge and saw the chicken my mom had made earlier (its breaded and fried in oil). She rarely makes it but it looked good so I had one. I only had one drink out. When I got home about 3 a.m. I had to keep telling myself NOT to eat...and I toyed back and forth with the idea (think devil on one shoulder, angel on the other). Devil won.

I binged like no tomorrow. I didn't even feel that full. This morning I just wanted to kick myself, it's like I did it unconsciously. I felt guilty eating this morning but I was actually hungry. I had one frozen waffle with syrup, 1/2 a bagel (one half with pb & j; the other with butter) and a small apple. And I just devoured it. I thought I could eat so much more but when finished I was good.

I just don't know where this eating monster is coming from. Should I just accept that I will stumble in the beginning? Should I modify the rules so I don't really have "S" days and if I have a sweet once in awhile on any given day its okay?

Oh so confused. I am a mess! But still very positive! I know this will get better

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 6:17 pm

Hi Cynthia!
I had a bit of a doozy yesterday too..not really much sweets action, but I ate about twice as much as my body is used to these days, and even ate when I wasn't hungry...
It's okay when stuff like this happens on S days.. It's just where you are now here at this moment in time.. It's not gonna happen every time...
Don't sweat it.. Not a good idea to eliminate S days...
Just see how it goes and learn from it...
S days are Sacred...
(apologies to anyone offended by this semi religious reference.. LOL...)

Seriously.. Not too worry... It's like trying out a new instrument
(This is inpired by my new acquisition and attempts at learning Saxophone with my son Richard...)
You will hit bad notes...
You will get better with practice...
Don't beat yourself up or panic... It's the N days you have to really concentrate on...
Also, don't torture yourself by stepping on the scale to "confirm" you had a doozy of a weekend... Let it pass and have good N days..
It won't affect your overall progress towards weight loss in the long run and big picture (especially since I am assuming you will be better at this with time!)
Big Hugs!
Peace,

Deb

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 6:23 pm

Also, (after looking at your post a bit more thoroughly)
You don't sound like you had that much of a binge!
Hmmm????
Well it's all relative, but I would say the lesson to learn, is "Unlearn" all that guilt "S*%t" from whatever other diet things you tried and fully embrace the fun of weekend S's...
Do not try to control yourself if you really feel like eating "whatever"..
That's the beauty of the S days.... They should be rule and restriction free!
The guilt and kicking yourself isn't going to be productive here..
Save that for N days~

Love, again,
Deb

navin · Post by **navin** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 7:07 pm

I agree with Deb. In fact that is what S days are for - you need a safety valve to make this diet livable. If you had no S-days, I bet it would be much more difficult to follow through with this over the long haul.

And from personal experience, of reading everyone's check-ins and posts on this board, I have determined that I, by far, have the most sweets on S-days as anybody here.

And I'm still losing weight (though probably more slowly than if I had a little more common sense....

)

Really this is simple math, if you are "good" 5 days and "bad" only 2, the good will eventually win out.

Blue Daisy · Post by **Blue Daisy** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 8:06 pm

I have to agree with Deb and Navin's advice, Cynthia. I'm new at this too and was concerned about how I was going to handle my S days for similar reasons as yours. In the past, I have gone on and off diets because I would eat something not allowed and then give up. Well this diet allows us to have sweets and junk but just on S days. You ate yours on an S day so you haven't failed. No reason to feel guilty. Enjoy your S days as Navin aptly put it, they are your "safety valve". I have beat myself up most of my life for letting myself eat sweets or snacks. No more. I intend to enjoy my S days. I refuse to feel guilty. Besides, like Navin said

if you are "good" 5 days and "bad" only 2, the good will eventually win out.

peetie · Post by **peetie** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 8:45 pm

Cynthia,
I agree with all the great advice you just got. I ate too much junk yesterday myself. Not a full on, crazed binge like in the old diet roller coaster days, but way too much fried, salty and sweet stuff. I felt really crummy last night.

Today I just had coffee when I got up...still stuffed from yesterday, but by noon I was hungry and knew I could have whatever I wanted, and what sounded good? Get ready Deb.....cottage cheese and prunes! I swear, that's what sounded, tasted and felt good in my body!

For dinner I will probably have something a little more sinister than that, and I plan to have a piece of my Costco cake I have cut up in the freezer for dessert (that helps me keep a handle on the sweets, by attaching them to a meal I'm not so hungry I eat a whole sheet cake...I just leave enough room to enjoy a piece).

So relax and enjoy the fact that you can't blow an S day! Nice try...but you didn't!

Peetie

JWL · Post by **JWL** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 9:26 pm

Agreed. Remember the function of S days: they are S days so N days aren't. No rules, let yourself do whatever you want; it will give you more motivation to stick to the N-day plan, knowing you can relax the rules on the next S day.

Remember, the point of No-S is to build new habits over the long haul. When you start doing No-S, it's a huge shift (at least it was for me) and it will take time. So at first, follow the rules, which state that on S days there are no rules.

Above all, don't beat yourself up for eating on S days! No guilt! Quite the opposite: observe yourself eating with no restrictions and learn from these observations. Eventually you'll reach a point where you don't need as much food, and it will get easier to stick to No-S.

You have the power! Good luck!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 10:12 pm

Thank you all very much. I guess in the sense of the No-S diet, I didn't blow it, because I am allowed whatever I want on S days.

Oh, and Deb, I should've explained the binge - it was truly somethig else! I'm talking chicken, mashed potatoes, nachos and cheese, waffles, cereal....yeah...and probably more...all at 3:30am.

Today was by no means great. But tomorrow is back to No-S and I can't wait. I MUCH MUCH MUCH prefer No-S days. Who would have thought? It seems anyone in their right mind would looove days they can eat freely. I don't. I am such an emotional eater that the freedom doesnt do me much good - and more importantly I dont enjoy the food because I tend to eat bad stuff and too much.

On No-S days I truly, madly, deeply enjoy all 3 meals and feel great after them. I try to incorporate fruits and veggies with each one.

Onward!

Thanks guys

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 10:52 pm

Yo!!! Cynthia that is funny...
Yeah I guess that was indeed a bit of a bingeroonie!!!
Infact the last time I had an extravaganza like you describe, it was in my youth, when I still smoked weed (don't anymore, I'm high enough!) and would have the munchies!!! Ha ha ha!!
Boy, are you sure you didn't have a big spliff at midnight??? LOL...
Glad you are still on board!
This is a fun group and you will have fun enjoying your S's without feeling judged...
As far as I'm concerned, each day brings us new lessons...

Peetie!
I died laughing when I read what you ate today!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See you later folks...
Peace and Love,

Debbie

silverfish · Post by **silverfish** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:04 pm

I still go off the deep end on weekends - I felt really sick this Sunday night from an overdose of sugar (my little sister was an interstate guest at the Adelaide show and came back with toffee, chocolate, fairy floss etc) which is not a performance I intend to repeat.

But although I feel sick I don't feel guilty, and despite a verry slowly increasing capacity for self-control on S-days, I've lost about 8kg (16 pounds) since June.

It is very nice to get back to N-days, though!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:27 pm

Well done!!!!!!!!
Hey.. What's fairy floss??? LOL...
Good job Silverfish..

Long Live Oz!!!!!!
Peace and Love,

Deb

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:35 pm

Deb, your post made me laugh!!!!!! I swear I didn't smoke anything last night! hahaha just drank one gin and tonic...
But, for me, it's not that unusual to binge like that. Unfortunately and shamefully I do it quite often and the reason why all these years later I weigh more than I want to.

I kinda just want tomorrow to come. I'm not in a good mood today and I feel like everything is disorganized and I'm annoyed. Ehhh, I will stop complaining - thank goodness for new days

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:52 pm

Enjoy the binge. You won't be doing much of it anymore, becuase you'll know you can, so you won't need to. I'm betting that next weekend your binges will be smaller.

I would think, though, that eating in the middle of the night should be avoided if at all possible. It can't be good for you.

silverfish · Post by **silverfish** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:22 pm

fairy floss = cotton candy

And don't feel bad about over-the-top S days Cynthia. That's what they're there for.

Post by **reinhard** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:58 am

Cynthia, failure isn't possible on S days. Don't worry about it. Especially in the beginning, it's to be expected that they'll be a little excessive. Three considerations besides this legalistic one to comfort you:

1) your weekday habits will carry over. I know you may not believe this just now, but if you think about it, it makes pretty obvious sense. The week is hard enough: don't distract your efforts from there by fighting on the weekends, too.

2) binging comes from resentment. The weekends are a reward. Who resents reward? It may take you a few weekends to really get this, but when you do, your binging days are over. A bit of planning helps, and not the kind you think: plan on having the most delicious, desirable S you can imagine. Turn weekday temptations into incentives and rewards.

3) In the great scheme of things, an excessive weekend here and there doesn't matter. Even I, years into it, founder's zeal and all, have them once in a while. When they happen, I don't give them a second thought.

Tonsha · Post by **Tonsha** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:02 am

" Failure isn't possible on S days"

WOW! What a quote! And I have to agree. S days are what make this diet work. You can have what you like at weekends - no restrictions nor recriminations.

And - like Reinhard says - your S day habits will change because your N day habits will carry over into the weekends.

The point is: for five sevenths of the week we are retraining our bodies and minds. From week to week the positive effects will outweigh the nastiness of the S days.

And eventually the S days will be better too!

DaveA

Dhack · Post by **Dhack** » Tue Aug 06, 2013 6:30 pm

Bumping this up because I'm feeling just like the original poster regarding s days. Reading this made me feel better and I thought it might help someone else.

Thanks,
D

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:12 am

Thanks dhack!

So much great info. Really helped clarify S-days for me.

Linda

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:33 am

I hate to disagree with the founder, but I don't think binges come only from resentment, and they don't necessarily disappear after a few weeks. But for me it was certainly worth the wait.

Keep strict N days, keep improving the quality of your food on N days, and keep noticing how good you feel. Eventually, the desire for those good feelings will win out.

finallyfull · Post by **finallyfull** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:23 pm

I have found that *discipline* on N days for me means disciplining myself to NOT be on a diet. I make sure my three meals are well rounded, nutritious, full of fruits and veggies AND heavier stuff, enough to make me feel satisfied, and also taste good. When I do this, I seem to almost forget it's an S day, because my mind and body are not "making up for lost time."

Whenever I feel like stuffing my face, it's either an hour until dinner time or it means I've been somehow dieting (cutting back at meals regardless of my body's signals, skipping a meal on purpose, counting calories) etc. For what it's worth.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:48 pm

That makes so much sense finallyfull. Ellyn satter is a really smart dietician that helps people recover from dieting & eat normally. She recommends 3 well balanced meals of regular food. The only difference is she recommends eating as much as you want at those meals & having planned snacks if needed.

The only problem is I could never figure out when to stop. The one plate rule solves this for me while teaching me to eat normally & put food back in its normal place. An awesome system all around!!

Linda

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:48 pm

Yes, "strict" N days just means no nibbling/snacking. Eat real, full meals of everything except sweets, all put on a plate before you start.