Everyday Systems

resentment: a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will

Sometimes I used to be sitting in a coffee shop, and see some skinny petite chick come in and order some huge drink and pastry and waltz out of the store ... and I would feel resentment and I would wonder ... HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?

drink that stuff and stay so thin?
eat just one?
act so guilt free about it all?

No S has answered all of these questions for me

and as the resentment towards my own self-imposed food deprivations melt away I don't even notice anymore what anyone else is eating ... or doing with food, whatever size they are.

That is certainly a kind of beautiful freedom... can anyone relate?

Blueskighs

Isn't it amazing how much energy we can expend getting knotted up about what other people are doing?

Not comparing yourself to someone else is a wonderful gift to give yourself and that other person.

I haven't given a rat's patootie about what anyone else was doing/thinking/feeling in that regard for about 10 years, but it is sure good to not have my own soul ragging me to death anymore.

f

Wow, Blue, I can relate!

A couple years ago I was "a skinny petite chick" and I used to wonder if other women hated me like I used to hate the skinny ones when I wasn't. But, you know what? I used to hate the fat women too because I knew they were eating stuff that I wouldn't dream of allowing myself. Bottom line, I was full of resentment toward everyone!

With No S I am learning to accept myself just as I am and allow others to be just what they are too. If I see a skinny woman now, I know she either is not eating huge bowls of ice cream all the time (or straight out of the box), or if she is she is throwing up and that's certainly not something to be jealous of. It makes no sense to be jealous or resentful. I'm glad I don't have to live like that anymore.

Now I just hope I can teach my daughter how. I guess the best way to do that is to just keep on doing what I am doing.

Interesting point Blue. I have definitely resented skinny women (never cared about the male of the species that way), in the past. Not sure if I still do...I think I generally look at resenting 'mother nature', 'God' or 'genetics' for giving me a body that gains weight at the drop of a hat and hangs onto it with the tenacity of a pit bull!
I have to eat right (and No S is good for that), watch my sugar and carbs like a scientist with a microscope and exercise EVERY SINGLE DAY, in order to lose weight and keep it off!!! That is what I resent! My inner child has not yet acccepted this in an adult way, and resents the unfairness of having to work so hard to accomplish what should be so easy and not make life so unenjoyable around the food & exercise issues.

Not comparing yourself to someone else is a wonderful gift to give yourself and that other person.

OopS! Blithe Morning ... maybe I didn't get my thoughts out clearly I totally agree comparing yourself to others where one person ends up superior or inferior is totally destructive.

But I beleive that the humility to learn from others, especially those that we resent is VERY HEALING,
I used to wonder if I had orthorexia, but what I LEARNED from NO S and observing those skinny chicks is that moderation beats rigidity and inflexibility in the diet any day

it is sure good to not have my own soul ragging me to death anymore

and

With No S I am learning to accept myself just as I am and allow others to be just what they are too.

fkwan and JillyBean this is one of the things I love about NO S ... you follow these simple guidelines and all this stuff changes and rearranges on the inside!

My inner child has not yet acccepted this in an adult way, and resents the unfairness of having to work so hard to accomplish what should be so easy and not make life so unenjoyable around the food & exercise issues.

OrganicGal, big hugs to you and your inner child!

all that being said, it has been a great memorial day weekend,
hope everyone else had a good one too,

Blueskighs

blueskighs wrote: No S has answered all of these questions for me ...
That is certainly a kind of beautiful freedom... can anyone relate?

I've been on both sides of this issue, e.g. I was once the skinny girl who could eat the huge peice of cake without worrying about it, but looking back I think I "got away with it" by not doing it habitually, e.g. no more than 1-2 times per week , and I never had snacky / sweet food within easy reach, i.e. I never bought it for my self to eat at home, which meant I only got to eat rich luxurious treats if I went out of my way to get it, by actually going to town and going to a coffee shop, bakery or whatever which being a homey, introverted type, this wasn't something I'd do often

Two major things changed however:

1) I got a car - and therefore stopped getting an average of at least 1 hour of walking in per day. I sometimes miss my car free days, at the time it was annoying to have to walk everywhere whatever the weather, frequently get soaked, need to buy shoes more often, but I can see that all that walking did me a lot of good

2) I got an office job, which meant the accessibility of S foods has dramatically increased Luckily being vegan puts some kind of limit on what S foods I can eat (e.g. most involve chocolate / dairy), but still this definitely had an impact.

I was starting to find myself on the other side of the issue, wondering why I was no longer the skinny girl who could eat anything, but then I discovered Reinhard's wesbpages and figured No S and Urban Ranger are the perfect antitode to the above problems!

1) I got a car - and therefore stopped getting an average of at least 1 hour of walking in per day.

2) I got an office job, which meant the accessibility of S foods has dramatically increased Luckily being vegan puts some kind of limit

Bonnie,
those are actually EXCELLENT points! when I started 7th grade we had to shop the entire mall to find a pair of jeans small enough to fit me

however it was when I went to highschool, had a car, and stopped that daily long walk to junior hich school that my weight BLOSSOMED ... along with some other traumatic events!

Blueskighs