Everyday Systems

I've been so good for the last two weeks ( after a disastrous past month) but yesterday ( wednesday) we had a friend over for dinner and had some wine with dinner. After this I was asked whether I wanted dessert . I was going to say no but had to change my mind when I saw everyone else tucking in ( plus wine kinda weakens my restraint).

This would have been fine otherwise but after this I felt so guilty that I had a midnight binge of chocolate and various other junk foods. I felt really bloated and horrible this morning. I don't understand why anyone would do this to themselves, and I don't know how to stop it. It seems my old binge eating habits will never go away..

babyprrr wrote: It seems my old binge eating habits will never go away..

I think the habit needs to be replaced, i.e. it will not "go away." But it takes longer than two weeks. And I also think that our bodies never get to the point that they don't crave more sweets once they get some. But I do know from personal experience (of about 14 months) that if you never ingest any sugar, flour or wheat, you will not have physical cravings. This is not to say that you won't have mental cravings sometimes. But I experienced a long period of a very strict, structured food plan and lost all the weight I wanted to and did not think about eating between meals at all. And by then when a dessert was put in front of me, I had developed the habit of saying no and also had tremendous impulse control.

But then there came a time when I ate out of anger and frustration. The cravings came back with a vengeance and so did the weight. It has been two years and my weight is right back to where it was when I first started that food plan. I know that I cannot maintain that type of rigid eating again and maintain it for the rest of my life. The yo-yo-ing has to stop. This time I want to find a way to eat well and be able to live a fairly normal life. I am still not there yet, but I think it is probably somewhere between No-S and that other strict food plan. I seem to have found that, for me, No-S is not quite enough "no."

Aaah, well, babyprrr, this might not help you much, but, believe me, you are not alone.

This is where I'd combine a little intuitive eating with NoS. What's done is done, and there's no reason to give up. Instead, after you've realized the error, just wait to eat again until you are physically hungry. Most likely you'll skip a meal no problem, and move on. You might find you don't need to eat as much at the next one either. In this way you'll be self correcting and minimize the damage. Don't force yourself to miss a meal though, or you might overeat again because you are starved the next time.

I once heard a woman compare bingeing after some unplanned eating in automotive terms. She said, "If I back into a pole, I'm not gonna say,'Oh well, the car is wrecked' and drive into a brick wall!" I loved that image.
But bingeing is a habit like any other. It takes time to change. Hang in there.

-Joelle

babyprrr wrote:I've been so good for the last two weeks ( after a disastrous past month) but yesterday ( wednesday) we had a friend over for dinner and had some wine with dinner. After this I was asked whether I wanted dessert . I was going to say no but had to change my mind when I saw everyone else tucking in ( plus wine kinda weakens my restraint).

This would have been fine otherwise but after this I felt so guilty that I had a midnight binge of chocolate and various other junk foods. I felt really bloated and horrible this morning. I don't understand why anyone would do this to themselves, and I don't know how to stop it. It seems my old binge eating habits will never go away..

I think that you are doing fine, Babyprrr! You had a learning experience. You know that having wine weakens your restraint. That when everyone else is having dessert, it is hard for you to say no. And that binging after the dessert made you feel bloated. This No S-ing is a learning curve, and a building of habits. Just continue on, focusing on habits.

I still struggle sometimes, too, despite trying to No S since January. I don't think I struggle due to any lack of "character", or inability to change old habits. It is simply that I had so many bad eating habits, that it is taking time to correct them, and replace them with good habits.

You can do this! Do not give up, or be too hard on yourself. Start again, with your on-line friends supporting you every step of the way!

CCC,

Thank you for your post.

Resting

"If I back into a pole, I'm not gonna say,'Oh well, the car is wrecked' and drive into a brick wall!"

Joelle,

this is classic! thank you for sharing it, it put a big old smile on my face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blueskighs

blueskighs wrote:

"If I back into a pole, I'm not gonna say,'Oh well, the car is wrecked' and drive into a brick wall!"

Joelle,

this is classic! thank you for sharing it, it put a big old smile on my face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blueskighs

I love this quote too! I'll try to think of this image next time I'm tempted to binge after one teeny mistake.