Everyday Systems

I realized today that I've been "no-sing" for 3 whole months. Even though I don't post often, I check the boards daily, right after marking my HabitCals for the day. The habit of 3 meals (with no snitching) is pretty well established. I am learning (getting better) at treating myself well on S-days, ie., not overeating just because I can. I now realize that I can *avoid* that yucky, bloated feeling at bedtime on Sunday nights.

Habitcal continues to be a great motivator to say no to those treats (eg. homemade chocolate chip cookie) offered midweek. It is easy for me to rationalize and think that I can have one as part of my meal (on the plate) because "one small homemade cookie is only xx calories." But, as I am looking to build habits, not count calories, I am learning to turn that rationalization on its head.

Other successes: 1. the family now knows that I will turn down on offer to munch on their cookie or mid-week treat and 1. not ask why OR 2. feel sorry for me. 2. Last week a friend who I hadn't seen since mid-July (right when I first found out about NoS) commented on my losing weight! The people I live with haven't really noticed, even though I am down one blue jean size, so the fact that *someone* noticed adn was kind enough to comment was a real boost!

Along with NoS, I am making an effort to move more--my "normal" lifestyle requires a lot of desk work. I bought a pedometer, and if I make no effort, I won't register more than a meager 3500 steps in a day. At first, I went gungho and tried to get the recommended 10,000 steps in, but I couldn't *sustain* it. Thus, I made a more realistic goal (and use HabitCal to track) that makes a 7000+ steps a green day, 5000+ a yellow day, and anything less than that a red day. Even that modest, conscientious effort has paid off as the scale shows--down 11 pounds in 3 months.

Yes, at times I wish the weight loss was faster, but I wouldn't trade speed for the wonderful, *no-fear* relationship I now have with food. With NoS, I get to have my cake and lose weight, too.

Hoping to encourage you,

What a great post! Thanks for sharing!

Fantastic Vicki!!
Congratulations
Debs

Vicki,

what a beautiful post and thank you for taking the time to share it with us. I love your comment about :

1. the family now knows that I will turn down on offer to munch on their cookie or mid-week treat and 1. not ask why OR 2. feel sorry for me.

it is interesting how when we set our boundaries and stick to them that others come to accept them too ... i hate that whole "feel sorry" for someone because they're not eating something sweet in that particular moment ... ANYWAY all that is probably eliminated by the reality that we can have whatever we want on S days and NWS days. I think people see that and realize we're not depriving ourselves ... just being "sensible"!

I also liked what you said about:

It is easy for me to rationalize and think that I can have one as part of my meal (on the plate) because "one small homemade cookie is only xx calories." But, as I am looking to build habits, not count calories, I am learning to turn that rationalization on its head.

playing these kinds of "games" is so easy to fall into in the "standard accounting diets" ... habit is REALLY something different than counting calories and i have to jump on Reinhard's bandwagon and say that in the long run it certainly seems much more powerful for the long haul!

And 11 pounds in 3 months! THAT IS FANTASTIC!

YOU GO GIRL!

Blueskighs

I concur with the you go girls, and with the whole feeling sorry thing.

One friend who knows what I'm doing will always ask, when we're out, and with a pained expression, "can you have dessert? or is this a day
you can't have dessert?"

I always say, I CAN have anything I want. But I'm not going to. It's important for me to maintain the sense that I am in control and making the choices. Therefore, there is no reason to feel sorry for me.

Well said gingercake! Just last night my DH was teasing me a little saying "why can't this be an 's' day? Every day should be special!"

Next time he says something like that I'll say what you say:

I CAN have anything I want. But I'm not going to. It's important for me to maintain the sense that I am in control and making the choices. Therefore, there is no reason to feel sorry for me. Instead, you should feel happy for me!

BTW, way to go Vicki!

Thanks for the encouraging words!

It has been very freeing to see the family *accept* the fact that I "don't do" snacks and sweets. Notice the wording: not "I can't have that [cookie or whatever]" but "I don't choose it." The first implies denial or restriction, the second implies empowerment and freedom; I think the kids and hubby picked up the nuances there. It was only today (when reflecting on the past three months) that I realized they had stopped offering "sympathy" (which subtly tempts one to feel sorry for one's self) and instead have accepted the new reality in my life (which works on supporting those sustainable habits).

Great thread! Congrats on your successes, new habits for you (and family, LOL!), and your 11 pound loss. That's awesome!

Merry

Vicki,

Congratulations on your success so far and thank you for sharing! Those are certainly respectable results -- but even more impressive is how you've negotiated the social aspect of the diet with your family. I think no-s is easier to negotiate than most other diets, but when you make a major change to your eating habits the social aspect is always, inevitably, an important and delicate issue.

I'm also impressed at your self-knowledge and long term thinking in terms of overcoming hopeless perfectionism in terms of the walking and settling for a realistic goal. Setting yourself up with goals you actually CAN comply with is half the battle. I think most dieters and exercisers don't even make it this far, and it's the single most important underlying common principle shared by the various everyday systems.

Reinhard

Great post and congrats on all of your successes!

Well done!