Everyday Systems

This is a spin-off, sparked by my reflections on the "Supporting your Spouse" thread.

One of the things I've noticed is that a good bit of my excess eating falls into one of two categories:

1) An (ineffective) attempt at self-nurture. (As in, eating for comfort when I've had a rough day)

or

2) Looking for a short pleasant treat. Almost eating out of boredom... just looking for "something nice to do."

As I've followed No-S, I notice I've expanded my repertoire of both "self-nurture" and "pleasant" activities. (I sort of see the process as a chicken-and-egg one. If I'm not going to eat, I have to figure out what I really want. If I figure out what I really need/want, I won't want to eat so much. You can start in No-S or in Therapy, but the cycle goes the same way once you do.)

At any rate, this leads to my question... BESIDES eating, what things do you do to comfort yourself or treat yourself?

Here's a start at my list - I'm going to run them together, because sometimes things fit both categories.
1) Deal with underlying cause of discomfort. That's a tough one, but is good. Do that unpleasant task, have that difficult conversation, etc.
2) Listen to music
3) Knit
4) Yoga stretches
5) Read something I don't have to
6) Watch a movie (I do that very rarely)
7) Call a friend
8 ) Cook "special No-S" food. (Things that take time, or are a bit expensive, or just especially enjoyable in season - but are perfectly legitimate N-day foods.)

I'm sure I'll think of more... but I'd love to hear others lists. And to know if you've noticed the same thing.

Great post and list KCCC
I'm a big fan of long luxurious hot baths.
Debs x

KCCC wrote: As I've followed No-S, I notice I've expanded my repertoire of both "self-nurture" and "pleasant" activities ... 8 ) Cook "special No-S" food. (Things that take time, or are a bit expensive, or just especially enjoyable in season - but are perfectly legitimate N-day foods ... At any rate, this leads to my question... BESIDES eating, what things do you do to comfort yourself or treat yourself?

I, too, have noticed an expanded repertoire, and I'm totally with Deb on the long, luxurious baths (yes! it's ok to do that!), but I must say your point #8 about cooking special No-S food resonated with me.

There are so many foods that I enjoy that are "perfectly legitimate" No-S foods; I just hadn't taken the time to prepare them, and/or omitted them from my menus because one or more ingredients were forbidden on whatever diet I was on at the moment. I take such pleasure in the whole process: looking for recipes, planning the meals, shopping for the food, taking the time to prepare it -- and then getting to eat it without feeling guilty!

For example, after doing the grocery shopping yesterday, I spent part of today making homemade chicken soup and Noel Figart's bean soup recipe (which is fab, BTW, many thanks, Noel!). I now have a stash of both in the freezer, had a great lunch & dinner.

But even more satisfying than the food itself, somehow, was the process of taking the time to create it. I find it difficult to describe this feeling: it's the same sort of reaction I had to making the recipes from Clara's Depression Era Cooking videos -- very comforting and nurturing.

I think it has something to do with finally finding freedom from lurching between celery sticks and Big Macs, and discovering that it is OK to take time to be kind to myself ... hard to explain ... I must have been spending much more time and energy on my food conflicts than I ever realized!

I've also discovered that using Reinhard's Personal Punch Card system has enabled me to focus on what needs to be done vs. what I would like to do, (although I also often enjoy the things that need to be done). I don't always get to the "non-required" items, but at least they are there in plain sight on the card, and I am finding more and more that there really is time to do them, too, when they are right there in front of your nose.

KCCC,

excellent thread!

One of my favorite things to do is schedule an "ENDLESS JOURNAL" session. Most of the times when I sit down to "journal" I have very little time and feel rushed, but when things mount and lots of little stuff is going on I set aside unterrupted time to write in my journal until I am done. Sometimes this can take a long time BUT it gets it all out and helps me unload, vent, disentangle all of the emotional threads and often if something is "sticking" that I am not aware of, it usually "comes up". This is a great stress reliever ... someone to listen to me go on and on ... MYSELF!

The other thing I love to do is take a nap. OH MY GOSH ... sometimes I think taking a nap is more decadent that chocolate cake. Closing the blinds unplugging the phone and crawling under the covers in the middle of the day!

Lets see ... playing with the kitties. They can really ground me and put a smile on my face.

Finally, just crawling up in my husbands lap. Physical affection is so underrated and yet it is JUST SO SOOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These are my "things" ... I notice that NONE of them costs a dime and are pretty much "available" ....

Blueskighs

Hugs are good.

And add flowers to my list. And scented candles. Both trite, I know, but they make me smile.