In my 3rd week and experiencing lots of FAILURE. Help?

[tmb22]

I have read the entire book, word for word, and the no-s habit makes complete and total sense to me. I would like to make it a lifelong habit, I am not focused on weight loss, and I do not use a scale. I simply would like to stick to the rules! It's so simple and yet so hard for me to actually accomplish. I had good success during the first week, but the past two weeks have been one failure day after another, and I'm feeling quite discouraged. Usually the failure occurs because I have broken down and had one late afternoon snack (that's my most difficult time), or one small sweet after dinner. Since Reinhard considers these "failure" days, even if they aren't huge transgressions, I'm feeling like a failure. Any supportive comments or suggestions from you old-timers at this would be helpful, because I'd really like to succeed at this.

In addition, I feel as if I am eating much more than usual during mealtimes. Before practicing no-s, I was a light meal all-day snacker. Now that I'm trying to stick to 3 meals a day, it feels like I'm eating enormous portions (yes, they fit on the plate) of higher calorie/fat foods in order to stave off hunger later. In contrast to my previous light meal and snacking way of living, I feel like a pig!

[NoelFigart]

Yes a small snack between meals is a failure.

You, personally, are not a failure. Savvy?

If you used to snack all day, you probably haven't the faintest clue how much you really did eat. What you're eating now might seem like a lot more because you're seeing three large plates.

Can you drink something like a glass of milk mid-afternoon? That's allowed.

I often have a pre-dinner glass of wine. (I like a glass while I'm cooking).

It sounds like you've gone a long way to change some long-term habits, so give yourself credit for that! If it's gone from all-day snacking to one little thing a day, that's still progress.

[winnie96]

Starting No-S, for me, was a process rather than a leap off a cliff into perfect compliance, which surprised me, because the rules are so straight-forward, how could I not succeed perfectly right off the bat. Having been on the light-meal snack-all-day track for so long, I had no clue how to construct each meal so I would arrive at the next one just hungry enough without having to snack.

But if you think about it, since I didn't have any meal-planning skills for days that don't include snacking, how could I have expected myself to figure out how to ace it on Day 1.

My advice would be to take a deep breath, realize that the volume and composition of your breakfasts, lunches, and dinners are going to change, and it may take awhile to figure out how to best do that.

I hope you can have some fun with the process. After I quit beating myself up for "failing", I got really interested in planning and experimenting. After 3 months, I feel fairly confident that I now have a pretty good handle on what I have to do for meals, but am always alert for tweaks in terms of protein, carbs, volume, etc., depending on what's going on in my life.

It sounds like you know that No-S makes a lot of sense for you. Be patient with yourself and work toward developing the meal skills that will work for you -- it's well worth the journey! Best wishes to you!

[blueskighs]

Usually the failure occurs because I have broken down and had one late afternoon snack (that's my most difficult time), or one small sweet after dinner.

tmb22,

are you rebelling? you say "Reinhard considers these failures" - perhaps you don't and that is why you continue to "practice" them ..
so maybe it would be helpful to decide if YOU really WANT to commit to vanilla no s or do you want to make some adjustments,

otherwise ... you have stated two very specific situations ... you might want to deal with them one at a time,

Blueskighs

[gratefuldeb67]

Good luck!
Don't feel bad, you are certainly not a failure!
Keep trying. It takes time to change daily habits..
Sounds like you have made some good changes already.
Love
Debs

[HelloKitty]

Find a mantra or catchphrase you can repeat to yourself when you find yourself tempted. Mine is "Temporary hunger" as in, there's nothing wrong with a little temporary hunger. I've been using this since before I found out about No S, but it fits in perfectly with Reinhard's principle of delayed gratification. The key is, you have to believe it. It has to make sense to you.

Good luck!

[tmb22]

Thanks to all of you who replied for your comments and suggestions. I found your reflections, winnie96, especially helpful and supportive. Before posting my message, I had read someone's first few weeks of daily logs and she had been incredibly successful right from the start, so I had believed that something was wrong with the way the process was beginning for me. It will definitely take me some time to get it just right.

I do need to come up with some strategies for late afternoons; unfortunately, I am unable to drink milk (due to lactose intolerance) and I don't like fruit juice. On the success days, I have had large cups of coffee or tea, but I don't always feel like having those and I need to have some other options readily available when feeling desperate for food but it's not yet dinnertime.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, too.

[Betty]

I am the poster child for taking No S veeeeerrry slowly in the beginning. I started by eliminating snacking after dinner, then eliminated the mid morning snack, then (hardest of all) the pm snack. My weight loss has been as slow as my adherence to the rules, but it has worked for me. Following up on what Blueskighs said, maybe you can legalize the afternoon snack OR the after dinner sweet for now. Give it 21 days then see if you want to adjust further.

Betty

[la_loser]

tmb22,

I continue to strive every day for No S compliance; I also am concerned that on days that I do have to mark a RED day--and I do occasionally--I want to avoid turning it into a hugely blown day--so in order to monitor that I use three Habitcals:

Strictly_Speaking_No_S where I record the absolute real results of my day

GREEN_Equals_two_or_Less_S_Slips

Not_an_Idiot_S_Day

The second and third habitcals have given me great insight into what some of the issues might be as I examined how my venture into No S could be more successful. (as in needing a little tweaking after a couple of months on habit)

I've found that I'm still able to mark most N days green, but it keeps me in check that even if an N day is red, I can see whether I really went overboard that day or not. And keeping the Not_an_Idiot_S_Day has been very helpful, particularly yesterday-when I COULD have really overstuffed legally, but knew I'd be physically so miserable that it wouldn't be worth it.

So be assured, I don't used the multiple habitcals in order to keep from feeling guilty about a Red day; they are simply a tool to help me keep track.

Here is a thread you might find interesting. . . In early October Kathleen started a thread about failure days. . . a lot of good insight there. . .
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic ... ght=#48295

In the book and on the website, Reinhard addresses that it is totally normal and to be expected to have lots of failures before this whole thing 'STICKS' and truly becomes a HABIT. So hang in there-you'll get it--and at this time of the year, it's going to be challenging. My hope for me is to at least maintain for the next few weeks instead of messing up the progress I've made. That would be better than ending up gaining like I usually do during Nov-Dec!

We're all in this together!