Everyday Systems

OK. I'm irritated. Maybe I'm so irritated because of the change in my eating, but I'm irritated. Tom suggested I might have been sniffling and sneezing for the last few months because the humidifier isn't working. I asked what humidifier he meant, and he said the one that is part of the furnace. He checked it, and it wasn't turned on and he didn't want to turn it on because he wanted to make sure the filter was good. I called the furnace cleaning people and was told that the humidifier is now an additional charge and I had not opted for it. What lousy customer service. I didn't even know there was a humidifier attached to the furnace. I explained to the woman that we get their service so I don't have to worry about the furnace. She explained that the furnace can run without the humidifier. I then had her check the records for our home, and the humidifier filter had been changed two years ago. The company had switched from having the humidifier as part of the furnace cleaning service to having it as an option.

To me, this isn't about the humidifier. It's about managing customer expectations. I told her that, when I take the van to the Toyota dealership, I don't say: please check the battery; please change the oil; etc. Instead, I drive the van there and ask them to take care of it. I asked the woman to please look at our furnace and see what else is now an option and not part of the furnace service.

Why am I bringing this up here? Well, I've gone a month with virtually no change in my weight. I had set up the expectation to myself that I would lose 2 pounds per month on average, and so a weight on 11/2 of 207.2 and a weight on 12/15 of 208.8 is not a cause for concern because my expectation is that I'll be below 212 as of December 1. As long as I am keeping to my 2 pound per month weight loss, I don't mind that my weight might go up and stay up for a few weeks.

One of the diets I tried was to keep to 1/2 pound per week weight loss. One day my weight went up four pounds from the day before. What was I to do with that? That was eight weeks' worth of weight loss up in smoke in one day.

The weight loss rate for this diet is 2 pounds per month, so it is at the same rate as the 1/2 pound per week weight loss, but there is a lot more flexibility built into it. I don't have to be evaluating each week's weight. I slogged through a month of virtually no weight loss, and then this weekend my weight only went up 1.6 pounds. I weighed today, on a Monday, what I weighed two weeks ago on a Saturday. That is significant progress for me, since my weight has always gone up quite a lot on the weekend. I was very concerned when my weight went up four pounds after two S Days.

Managing expectations... I just experienced the importance of managing expectations this morning. I see it as a "critical success factor" with this diet. I won't be thin next summer or the summer after that, but -- with patience -- I will be thin again!

Kathleen

Hi Kathleen, I don't mean for this to sound negative, but I'd say that expecting weight loss, especially during Winter, is a setup for being disappointed.. Most people put on weight this time of year, for a variety of reasons.. I myself have and believe me, I've had that "I will lose a pound a week" conversation so many times, with myself, so I too suffer from expectations like this.. I'd say that if you *don't gain* during Winter, that's a kind of progress in itself.. I have to credit Reinhard with that last comment, and I find it very true myself.
I'm pretty sure I've gained between 8 and 10 pounds this month actually..
Not happy about it at all.
I'm sorry for your frustration right now.
NoS is *NOT* a typical diet, and it's much more geared towards maintenence than fast loss.. For me it only works when I am doing it very strictly, and exercising regularly..
So that's what I have to focus on.
I believe that you will definitely reach your goal Kathleen!!
Peace,
Debs

Debs,
I'm happy to accept a 2 pound per month weight loss that is permanent, and that's the track I'm on. My all time high was 216 in September, so my "I'll never be this weight" weight at the beginning of October was 216, it was 214 at the beginning of November, and it was 212 at the beginning of December. Today, a Monday, I weighed in at 206. My only exercise is 2 miles of walking three times per week, and I'm eating to feeling sick on many S Days, but there is perfect compliance with N Day rules. I'm happy where I am, but I think part of it is that I'm not expecting a dramatic weight loss.
Kathleen

Mananging expectations is a tough one. I have successfully done WW twice and SB once. The points counting and SAD I found I couldn't sustain over the long haul. However, those diets did get the pounds off quicker. I was also younger so that is also a factor.

So I decided the stay with nos and buy clothes I was hoping to put off until I was thinner. I am happier overall this way than with the other approaches.

connercream,

I worked with a woman who had twice lost 40 pounds with WW and was on her third attempt to lose the same 40 pounds. Who ever said fat people don't have willpower hadn't met this woman.

Kathleen

I'm kind of at a weight-loss standstill myself right now (after 6 months of No S and approximately 13 pounds down), but I also know it's December. Part of that is eating heavier food in cold weather and part of it is more socializing than usual, parties, special food--in short, enjoying life!

Instead of focusing on how much you're losing/not losing, maybe you could refocus on NOT weighing yourself for a month. Resist the temptation to measure, and focus on true enjoyment. Instead of eating till you feel sick on S days, think of weekends and holidays as opportunities to have a few modest treats on top of good, healthy, enjoyable meals that fit N day standards--and relish every morsel. I have hesitated to mention Geneen Roth before this, but you might want to check her out. Her book Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating made a permanent change in my outlook in my mid-30s. A wonderful, compassionate person with a painful history of her own, Geneen is great for investigating emotions that underlie eating issues. She has a web site now (just search on her name) and probably one or two books in print, I'd guess. Her approach is quite different from Reinhard's but fairly complementary.

Weight Watchers focuses on counting, weighing, measuring, but I know from experience it's possible to lose weight without actually knowing how much weight that is and without analyzing every bit of nourishment you take in. It's good that you want to lose slowly; I believe that's more sustainable, and as RE says, you want to build positive habits and let them take over. At some level you're emotionally comfortable with the weight you are now. It takes time to adapt to new body size and the different way people will regard you, so slow weight loss is good.

Also, watch out for envy that may masquerade as discouraging comments or even plying you with food. It would be great if we didn't compare ourselves to each other, but we do, especially women, and some women LIKE to hang out with women who are bigger than they are because it makes them feel better about themselves. So if you lose weight they get unhappy and may try to sabotage your efforts. This may have nothing to do with you, it's just something I've noticed.

I don't know if any of this is helpful, Kathleen. If not, just disregard it. But go easy on yourself; you're making good, positive changes and major change takes time and adjustment. That's my 2 cents (in my long-winded way!).

Happy Cooker,
I keep resolving not to weigh myself and then I do. I made a bet with the kids about how much I would lose by Christmas, so I need to weigh myself then, but generally I think that "a watched pot doesn't boil." It's probably wise to move away from weighing myself so much because it is a distraction from living.

Emotional eating... I went down the path of thinking that's why I overate, but I think that the main reason is some sort of physical reaction to restricted eating. That's why I'm allowing myself to eat so much on S Days. I just bought some chocolate covered caramels to eat on Christmas. I looked at the package and thought that it would not feel good to eat the whole thing. I could, but I just wouldn't want to.

I'll look up the book you suggest.

Kathleen