The Sneaky Saboteurs

belser · Post by **belser** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:10 am

I had a 'rant' in a earlier discussion link and I'd like to bring it up again out of interest in everyone elses stories. I have now experienced this phenomenon twice and would be interested in hearing others stories on this topic. I did not experience this when I did WW's.

Here's my rant --> It's striking to me how many of my friends and loved ones feel the need to criticize the No S system. They don't go out and read the site, they don't get the book to understand it further but they do want to debate it's worth with me. What is up with that??... Has anyone else noticed this need to critique the diet from the people in their lives?

Today's critique was from a friend who asked me about my weightloss success (Yeah! people have noticed already!). When I told her of the No S diet she argued that the S days should be removed (I don't know about the rest of you but I absolutely could not do this without the S days!). Seeing that I would not budge on the need to keep S days the friend then tried to convince me that only one small treat should be allowed on on only one of the S days. ??Seriously?

It must be easier to manage others diet plans then manage one of your own because I certianly get a lot of "helpful" advise...or told why this diet isn't as good as "X" diet...er whatever!

I dunno, maybe this isn't as positive of a topic as is usually discussed on this site but I'm guessing it's a pretty regular occurance and the stories would be interesting to hear. Including how you all fended off the Saboteurs attempts to change your lovely new habits!

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:58 am

Removing the S days would totally make sense if this was a short-term crash diet looking for quick results -- I can give up desserts and snacks entirely for three months, sure, and no doubt one would lose weight faster that way. But the point with No S is that you do it forever, and I don't think it's realistic for anyone to go an entire lifetime without eating another slice of pie or birthday cake!

I honestly get less sabotage on this than I did on Weight Watchers, because on something like that everyone in the vicinity knows you're on a diet as soon as you pull out your paper diary and your points counter, and feels free to weigh in. On No S I just look like I'm having some lunch ...

It's pretty funny that someone would notice how much weight you've lost, learn how you did it, and then argue that it won't work! How did she think you got skinnier?

winnie96 · Post by **winnie96** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:58 am

It's not just us ex-dieters who have the "diet mentality". Lots of people (overweight or not) think if you are overweight, you have to "go on a diet". No-S is so not like a diet that they just can't grasp the idea that not "going on a diet" is the way to go.

The (relatively) slow rate of loss with No-S also seems to be a problem with some people. "Why would you stay on No-S? My friend so-and-so lost 10 pounds in one week with the Yadda-Yadda diet".

I basically don't talk too much about No-S with people who have these kinds of opinions, and keep telling myself that "slow and steady wins the race". But I am kind of dumbfounded by the criticisms of otherwise intelligent people who can plainly see not only that I've lost a few pounds, but also that I am so much happier and at ease with life in general, and food & social situations in particular.

I agree that this is an odd phenomenon, but I'm determined not to let these kinds of attitudes impact my No-S attitude at all. (Yet another plus of No-S: its path can arrive at "to thine own self be true", and not just food-wise!)

Consu · Post by **Consu** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:33 pm

What I have experienced is that people initially are leery to it and some don't take it seriously. It's like my sister-in-law, who's not criticizing No S, but I can tell while she was restricting herself this weekend that she was thinking, "Consu HAS to come back to WW. She HAS to, once she realizes that fad diet doesn't work!" But I'm hoping she comes around because she's been on the roller coaster for a long time and she deserves a livable, enjoyable lifestyle like No S.

Then there are people like my coworker, who yesterday went to offer me some chips in the afternoon. She suddenly remembered I'd told her about No S and said, "Oh, that's right" and didn't tempt me with the snack. We need more people like that!

Too solid flesh · Post by **Too solid flesh** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 4:07 pm

The whole topic of diet seems to be very emotive. I tend to steer clear of it on the whole.

Your friends are probably genuinely trying to be helpful.

My Dr says that everybody finds a method of weight loss which works for them, and I've stopped thinking that what works for me will necessarily work for a friend, or vice versa.

Jayhawk28 · Post by **Jayhawk28** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:03 pm

I've found that NO S is the way to go and I've tried weight watchers, south beach, atkins, nutrisystem, best life, body for life and others.

I hated counting or restricting foods.

For me - No S is the key. In order to speed up weight loss, I'm simply trying to move more via exercise. Most of the above diets are food only - like No S - but as shoveglove and urban ranger imply - exercise should be done daily no matter what you eat. That was the problem with south beach - if I failed on the diet - I felt so guilty that I didn't want to do anything other than binge and start over on monday.

Now - I'll have some Chinese food for lunch on No S. I don't feel guilty and I can still ride my bike. The exercise helps to create a small caloric advantage to weight loss on No S. Eating healthier food on No S just speeds up the process - but that is my choice.

la_loser · Post by **la_loser** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:05 pm

To avoid this sort of issue, I haven't told a lot of people about NO S, just referencing trying to eat smart and healthy and since it's such a slow process, the loss isn't as readily apparent. I suspect after summer break when people haven't seen me in a while, it will be much more obvious. It's like when people see you every day, they don't notice the small successes. People I see infrequently have commented that I've lost weight.

However I often eat lunch with some colleagues and one of them who has lost and gained many pounds over the years just announced that she's back on the wagon and has to get serious about dieting again, etc. for her health. . . so far this week, she's had lettuce, a tomato, a banana and an apple with about 5 crackers for lunch Monday and Tuesday. OMG-I would have gone off of that already. I will see her again tomorrow after being away for two days and I'll bet money that she will have already fallen off her diet wagon. I did tell her about No S months ago and I saw that she didn't take it seriously but she was polite enough not to say anything.

If she indeed has trouble staying on what she's doing which I can't imagine will be sustainable, I will take my cue to maybe print some of the No S main page and invite her to share my adventure, prefacing it with how I've seen her struggle for years and I know how hard it is, etc. . (She's a close enough friend that I can do that without her taking offense.)

I suspect that much of this negativity from the masses is fueled by the same marketing that dieters are taken in by. . . if you have no reason to lose weight, I'm guessing you'd assume that you must have to do something extraordinary to do so.

Thanks to Reinhard, we've learned there's a better way!

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:31 pm

I think any time someone discourages someone else in what they want to do is annoying. It is none of their own business and who can argue with results? If it's working for you, then obviously you are doing something right.

And I agree with just not telling people about dieting anymore. I am counting calories now and it is working and I know that if I tell someone, they will criticise me or try to get me to eat a cookie or something.

ThomsonsPier · Post by **ThomsonsPier** » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:46 pm

I do hear people tell me that it won't work. I'm generally able to respond by pointing out that I'm both fitter and healthier than they are.

Everyone I know who is in decent shape eats cake and sweets and drinks beer in quantity. Those who think they know better are generally overweight, unfit or both. Odd, isn't it? Too much time thinking, not enough doing.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:55 pm

You have nobody to answer to except yourself Belser.
It *is* very annoying when people do this.
The proof is in the pudding.
Do it and stick to it, and eventually perhaps they will shut up

Congrats on your success!

Debs

Post by **reinhard** » Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:22 pm

I think it's a general rule that applies to almost any subject that people like to pontificate before taking the trouble to "do the homework" and inform themselves.

I guess in this case you can gently suggest to them that the "homework" is actually kind of fun... that all it takes is a quick look at a single, free, even somewhat entertaining web page.

Say you'd love to argue with them once they've done that -- if they're still inclined to argue.

Reinhard

wrigleyj · Post by **wrigleyj** » Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:43 pm

Deb,

Sorry if this comes across as "annoying pedant" but, I think that might be an accurate reflection of my character.

The phrase "the proof is in the pudding" is a corruption of the phrase "the proof of the pudding is in the eating". It's one of my pet peeves, especially given that the eating of the pudding is the best part

Hope you are all doing well. I've been quite surprised with the responses I've got from friends and co-workers to my diet. I've been pretty public about what I'm doing and most of the responses have been along the lines of "that just sounds like good sense" or "systematic common sense" but I guess I work with a lot of people who are quite a lot like Reinhard

I ate a /lot/ today. We had a "meals from around the world" lunch. My team comes from across Europe so we had a lot of interesting dishes as well as a couple from Tunisia and Pakistan. It would have been churlish and ungrateful to sit with my bowl of soup, so I decided to make a one-off switch around of my S days and will probably take an N day on Sunday.

Joe

belser · Post by **belser** » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:27 pm

Thank you everyone! I really enjoy the different ideas and perspectives that everyone shares on this website and I find myself checking the site daily.

Each of your stories and experiences help to shape the new decisions I make about food.

Everyday Systems