So I Ate The Cake

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:38 pm

Ugh! So I'm trying to do my 3 meals and one snack (I get starved!) to get down to 140 lbs and hopefully stay there. And they put out cake. My work buddy and I go back to look at it. I told her I didn't want any BEFORE going back there, but when we got back there she said stuff like "you know you want it" and "live your life." Meanwhile, she is on a low-carb kick, which will probably only last a week, as always, and this is her carb for the day. I never say anything negative about her diet or say anything to derail her. I never encourage her to eat cake. Needless to say, I ate the cake because in the moment I thought, "yeah why not live a little??" But at this rate, I'm going to be 150 lbs forever.

My main point of this post was to point out how inconsiderate and rude some people can be. I know she didn't have a gun to my back, but just because I'm not exactly "overweight" doesn't mean I should be encouraged to eat every piece of cake that comes my way. I try to explain to people that my BMI is 25 but they don't care. She said "it was worth it, wasn't it?" later; to which I said, "no, not really."

Sorry for the rant; I'm mad at myself for being so easily influenced!

MysteryLover · Post by **MysteryLover** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:29 am

Nichole,

You know it really bugs me both ways: when people push food, and when they tell you that you shouldn't eat something because they assume you need the diet advice. Cake pushers can be pretty bad. I think it makes them feel better to see you eating it too. And most of the time the cake doesn't even taste that good!

Anyway, your co-worker reminds me of a friend of mine. She is FOREVER on some crazy super-restrictive diet. I think she's on the Body Type diet now. If I invited her out for pizza this weekend, she'd flat-out refuse, but she is forever sabotaging my own efforts. Telling me that 'a little more won't hurt' and 'you already blew it, start again on Monday.'

I wouldn't worry about the one piece of cake blowing it for you. Consider it a lesson learned and move on. Next time it will make it all the easier to say no. BTW, I see you're from the Phila area. I'm down in South Jersey. How much snow did you get this week? We got over 12 inches!

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:46 am

Haha, your friend sounds way worse! Juli is just a hypocrite. She'll say that she's on a diet and be off it in a week. She's tried low carb before, a couple times, and was only on it for about week before she stopped. I never say what I'm thinking such as, "if it keeps failing, then why do you keep trying?" or "dont you think that diet is too restrictive and you're just going to go off it again?" I think people need to keep on trying and come to their own conclusions. Besides this could be the time where it sticks, I guess. I just hate how she's always encouraging me to eat unhealthily, as if it has no affect.

We got a lot of snow, yup!!! About 8 inches, I suppose. Luckily I was off on Monday to move into our apartment!

Temptation is in the other room - my husband is about to have some ice cream and it looks sooooo gooood!

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:07 am

It probably is good! But the day after tomorrow is an S day, and there will still be ice cream readily available -- any flavor in the world you want, and you will feel really good eating it then because it is your special treat.

Or so I tell myself when my rotten skinny husband eats ice cream!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:27 pm

I know that feeling. It's hard. I have a friend sort-of-doing WW, which of course allows her to have some sweets. She is not very compliant with her plan, and when she goes off she wants me to do it with her.

We're at a conference together, along with another colleague, and went out for a marvelous lunch. (And yes, it was more than one plate. Sigh.) We were all quite full. Much later, at what would normally be dinnertime, we went to a coffeeshop. She and my other colleague decided that they didn't want a real meal and would have cake for supper. They each got huge slabs of decadent cake, and made sure we all had forks.

I am glad to say that I didn't have any. But really, I didn't want sweets for supper. Seconds or snacks on N-days seem less of a failure to me than sweets. So, I sat and sipped my drink. (It helped that I was still really full.) When we got back to the hotel, I ordered an appetizer from room service for "dinner." Just enough.

Every time I stick to my plan, it gets easier. I will say my colleague is less pushy than yours sounds - she doesn't pressure, just sort of invite.

If this helps: the normal change pattern in relationships is that you initially get more push-back as you change, then acceptance as you stick to your guns. So, I recommend that you brace for that push-back, and think of what strategies you will use until you reach the point where she accepts that you just don't eat sweets for no reason.

Best wishes!

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:33 pm

You just reminded me of something my mom does. My mom and I will have a conversation about dieting and not eating too many sweets, then later on we'll get coffee and she'll buy a cookie for us to share! She's done this several times at Panera bread. Lol! I know it's just the mommy in her. I'm 24 but she still loves to love me with food. That I don't get mad at; I think it's amusing.

EDIT: I should also add that she's 5'6" and 125 lbs. I don't think she gets that sweets stick to me more! Or something.

Post by **reinhard** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:40 pm

Nichole,

Well, just remember that it wasn't worth it next time such a situation comes up. No-s gives you plenty of legitimate opportunity to enjoy cake -- to REALLY enjoy that cake, without guilt, and without setting up destructive habits. It's not a choice between "live your life" and privation. It's a choice between guiding your appetite or being a slave to it. And appetites, like children, are ultimately much happier when there's a rational grown up kindly but firmly in charge.

So don't feel guilty about this one time, just next time someone tries to convince you that what you're doing is privation, keep in mind that it's really, really not.

Reinhard

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:07 pm

Thanks Reinhard, KCCC, Talia, and MysteryLover. People can be very convincing at times. It is nice to adhere to rules than just go all willy nilly, out of control.