Everyday Systems

Unsolicited advice to the young and restless:
Warning: the guys are probably not interested in this discourse!

Here is something to think about for you young ladies in your twenties:
You want to be trim and fit—definition is in; small sizes are in. Some of you have actually been there in your late teens and early twenties. You were hot once. You may have even been an athlete in school. For awhile you have maintained your weight naturally with your young revved up metabolism. Now you have picked up a few pounds and you really want to get back in shape. Or perhaps you have always had a “weight problem†and now you are determined to become the slim new you. You have decided it is time to go on a diet: South Beach, Weight Watchers, Atkins—you count calories, points, restrict foods, log information into FitDay, keep journals, etc. You have the time to do this and it is sort of fun to be in control. And if you are losing weight fast, you like what you see and get good reinforcement as you lose. The diet works as long as you can keep the accounting and restricting in place.

Fast forward a few years to marriage and babies. Here is my theory about pregnancy weight gain: Yes we gain some weight with the baby, but the weight would come off quickly if we could just return to our old lifestyle. BUT we no longer have our old lifestyle--now we don’t have an easy schedule that is ours to work around. We can no longer focus on accounting diets and our previous exercise schedule. Baby comes first. Sleep loss happens. Babies get sick. Babies cry. Babies take a lot of maintenance. You think you really need that ice cream to comfort yourself after baby finally gets to sleep. And…many of us suffer from black/white either/or thinking. “I will go on that diet when I have the time to think about it and work it and do it right. But for now I am just too exhausted. Later when things settle down into a routine I’ll get with the program.†Here is where the extra pounds start creeping on—not only are we not losing the “baby†weight, we begin to pick up even more. We get scared and go on that restrictive diet. Alas, we don’t last very long even if we lose some pounds; the pounds just come back and bring more friends with them. Then we get disgusted with ourselves because of the weight gain and our obvious lack of discipline and will power. And this is just one pregnancy. Our children’s schedule becomes a top priority—we check the refrigerator for the soccer schedule, music lessons, birthday parties etc. And to make matters worse, as we raise children, we find ourselves in the kitchen many hours of the day. We fix treats. We pack lunches. And those little buggers eat all the time…no, actually they leave food on their plates that we nibble on as we clean up…wouldn’t want it to go to waste.

Now how much better would it be to have the NoS principles down pat before children come into your life. Snacking is not an option. Sweets are not an option during the week. And eating while cleaning up the kitchen violates your no Seconds habit. No matter what comes your way, you do not have to gain weight any more just because you can’t focus on that perfect diet during a particular season of life. Of course, you can add in as much exercise as you can schedule and enjoy—and some of this will be actively playing with your children. With NoS, you already have a habit, a way of life, to get you through this time.
And guess what? Life never does lighten up. You move from taking care of children to taking care of older parents to taking care of grandchildren (even if for the weekend). You go on vacation, you have job stress, financial stress, health issues, menopause, moves, new jobs, tax season, graduate school etc. There is never the perfect time to diet or to work at maintaining weight loss by accounting and restricting. Many of us on this board managed to hold on for years, but eventually we just couldn't make food accounting a full time job, and all the years of restricting caused major binges and weight gains and disordered eating.
How I wish I had known the NoS way 40 years ago. The good news is I am finally, at age 62, learning how to enjoy food and weight management at the same time. So hang in there and learn this because it is truly a lifestyle that will serve you well. You will not lose weight quickly, and as Reinhard has warned, you will not get ultrathin. Do you really think you can stay in Olympic training mode for a lifetime? There is more to life than micromanaging food. Nevertheless, I do believe you can and will be a trim, normal, healthy weight for a lifetime by developing these habits. You will also be happier and most importantly, you will be much less likely to develop an eating disorder.

I know you didn’t ask for this information so I won’t give it again I promise.

I think that restrictive eating just doesn't work when you are pregnant or have young children. This diet is so mild that you can manage to follow it through pregnancies and when you have young children. Restrictive diets that don't work in pregannacy also don't work when you have stress due to job loss or work overload or problems with a child having trouble in school or... or...or... life has lots of problems. This diet solves one of them!

You change a post title by clicking on edit and then editing the subject which shows up when you edit the first post in a thread.

Kathleen

Amen, sister TexArk! You said exactly what I've thought about a lot but hadn't gotten around to and you articulated it much better than I could.

So to you young ones (or younger ones), if I had known way back then what I know now how much better off . . . and healthier. . . that I would be now. My history is that for many years of my life I could stuff anything and everything into my mouth and NOTHING stuck. . . till after I had my first and only child at 38! Got that weight off with much restriction then it came back and I fought it off again, and back and forth. . . gosh, the effort, time, stress, money and focus on SAD eating plans truly changed me into a person who even waking moment thought about food-what I could have, what I'd rather have, then what I'd eat anyway in excess; Gee, No S eliminates thought obsessing about all those things.

I've been at it since the summer with a little success (pound wise) along the way, then in the last three months, my body seemed to say "thank you" and I've lost about 13 pounds since January. . . and today, I'm proud to say I'm wearing a pair of jeans I haven't worn in at least four years. Now they're still not the jeans I'm hoping to fit into. . . but I'd given up ever even getting into these.

So look at the big picture--I know it's hard when you're "pre-hill" to imagine how things may be down the road, believe us when we say, this is a way of life that will serve you well and is sustainable for the long haul.

(I'm a part of a mentoring group where early career educators meet regularly with some "more experienced" ones called "the young and the rest of us." Guess on these boards that's me and TexArk--and some others here too, I'm sure!)

Thanks for the editing tip, Kathleen.

I think you might have been the one who mentioned that you wanted to get this way of eating down as an example for your children. I may have it wrong. But wouldn't it be wonderful if the young could get this early and avoid our mistakes. Of course that is true for many of life's problems and heartaches. Unfortunately, most of us have to learn through our own trials and errors.

TexArk,
Yes, I am highly motivated because of my children, especially my 14 year old daughter who is overweight. I am confident she will not try "The Peanut Cluster Diet" ("unconditional permission to eat" all the time) or "The Hunger Satisfaction Diet" (only eat after a hunger growl). She's grown up seeing me careen from one disasterous diet to another. Who ever said that people "let themselves go" didn't interview me! Anyway, she has joined me in this diet.
Kathleen

LA_Loser wrote:.

(I'm a part of a mentoring group where early career educators meet regularly with some "more experienced" ones called "the young and the rest of us." Guess on these boards that's me and TexArk--and some others here too, I'm sure!)

Oh, that is too funny! Love it!

Count me in with "the rest of us".

LA_Loser, your story is SO much like mine, except I was even older when I had my only child. (And I fought to keep weight down even before him. Foughts successfully, but still...)

TexArk, hope your words will inspire... establishing good habits early is a boon.

Well, now, that makes three of us! I had my only child at 40. I used the plural "children" in the generic sense. I didn't mean to imply that I had more than one.

Brilliantly stated, TexArk.

I can simply add that I'm 42, and in my experience, everything TexArk is saying is soooo true.

I'm 24, 25 in Nov, and just got married in December 08. So this was good to read. I won't be having a baby, unfortunately, for probably another 5 years *sigh* b/c of financial issues. So I'll be about 30. I told my mom last night that it's probably for the best because it "gives me time to grow." She said that when I say stuff like that, it makes me sound "wise beyond [my] years." lol. So, yes, now I will have a few years to continue to work on my habits and all the other things that I'll need in my arsenal to deal with adult life in a healthy way. I'm still trying to come to grips with the fact I'll probably never be 135 like when I graduated high school. 145-150 is probably as good as it's going to get. I do worry about gradual weight gain; hopefully No-S will help.

Thank you for this fantastic post. I am going to be 27 in August and plan to start a family in the next 1-2 years. What you have written reassures me that I am doing the right thing by getting on board with no-S.

Outstanding. Thank you for taking the time to write. A true gift of self.

Well, Im a 31 year old mom of 2..soon to be 3 in June. For my last few pregnancies, fad diets did work to take the baby weight off and then some. However, I dont want to always be on a diet in front of my kids. I have decided for myself to eat 85% whole foods and save the packaged/prepared stuff for the S Days. Im trying to do this with my 4 and 3 year old now. No more teddy grahams, nutrigrain bars, velveeta mac and cheese, etc..unless its an S day...or they visit grandparents.

Being pregnant..its hard to eat only 3 meals, so I try to pack as much nutrition in each meal as possible..and drink a lot of water during the meals. But I have to say, I do feel more liberated eating carbs..