Thinking out loud:
Sounds stupid, I know. I have been overweight, fat, for so long that losing seems scary. As the saying goes, I am my own worst enemy.
Long story short, I have a herniated disk in my low back and losing weight would really help the back pain if my weight didn't put more pressure on the disk. Duh, common sense, no?
I am finding that I am more stubborn than I realized. Excuses are my friends. I can't or I won't are good ways of thinking for me.
I think I have a compromising and flexible attitude but that seems not to be true. I can eat all I want all of the time and there are no consequences. I won't continue to gain, gain , gain.
I have all of these clothes and even if I lose very slowly, someday they won't fit. What a waste of money.
I give away things to charity all of the time. I would not have to give it away all at once. Some things will still fit. If I lose slowly enough the clothes will wear out first.
Teh thoughts in my mind aren't logical and keep swirling around, stopping me from going forward. What do I do? What do you do?
Fear of losing
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Fear of losing
"A pizza box is not a plate!" E. Reinhard
Re: Fear of losing
Joyce,JoyceC wrote:I have all of these clothes and even if I lose very slowly, someday they won't fit. What a waste of money.
I give away things to charity all of the time. I would not have to give it away all at once. Some things will still fit. If I lose slowly enough the clothes will wear out first.
Teh thoughts in my mind aren't logical and keep swirling around, stopping me from going forward. What do I do? What do you do?
Your friends will support you in whatever you want to do, especially when it's good for you! That's what friends are for. If they want you to go out to eat with them, go out to eat with them! This "diet" is really a lifestyle change, not a diet. You can eat whatever you want, except sweets. Just keep it to a single, regular sized plate, and don't eat snacks and you'll be great. In reality, nobody even has to know you're on a diet. I find myself talking about it all the time though, because it motivates me.
Regarding your clothes, I have this to say: I used to weigh 270 and I lost enough weight to get down to 180. I'm only back up to 193 after 3 years, and so I'm just trying to cut my weight back down to the 180 level. "Having" to buy more clothes each time when I did it didn't seem like a waste of money at all! I don't know how much weight you have to lose, but I had a lot, so I got to buy new clothes a couple of times.
Each time it was a great affirmation of what I was doing. I lost weight similar to this plan. No S didn't exist back then, that I know of, but I just ate more sensibly and exercised portion control, and it worked!
Bottom line, don't worry about worrying. You can do anything you set your mind to, and it sounds like you have already done that! Let your friends help you along the way with support, and we will do the same, and look forward to buying new clothes! Good luck!
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Too solid flesh
- Posts: 639
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:22 pm
- Location: England
Fear of losing
I know just what you mean, JoyceC. Losing weight fast can be scary. I am losing weight at a more moderate rate through NoS, and I have found that I have time to get used to being the size I am as I progress.
Also, as you say, I am replacing clothes with smaller ones as the old garments wear out.
Good luck, and keep posting.
Also, as you say, I am replacing clothes with smaller ones as the old garments wear out.
Good luck, and keep posting.
Reframe. Examine. Just do it anyway.
Reframe. If the thought of losing weight scares you, don't think about it in those terms. Think in terms of building healthier eating patterns. The weight loss will be slow enough that you'll still feel like "yourself" as you lose.
Examine. If you are unearthing other emotions... well, live with them. Examine them. Figure out why you turned to food to comfort yourself. Look for other alternatives - journal, take up meditation, go for long walks, see a therapist, whatever.
I see my former eating habits as mis-guided attempts at self-nurture. Sometimes I needed time to myself... and ate, so I didn't have to do chores. Or was stressed, and ate for comfort.
Do it anyway. The relationship between emotions and food is a chicken-and-egg one. You can address the emotional aspects and hope the eating will change (and there are programs based on that approach). Or you can do it the other way, and change the habits first... which may lead to addressing issues that were being addressed (though not well) through food.
So, whatever is going on in your head, tell yourself "That may be, but I'm just going to do this anyway."
Let me add - kudos for facing those feelings! Best wishes!
Reframe. If the thought of losing weight scares you, don't think about it in those terms. Think in terms of building healthier eating patterns. The weight loss will be slow enough that you'll still feel like "yourself" as you lose.
Examine. If you are unearthing other emotions... well, live with them. Examine them. Figure out why you turned to food to comfort yourself. Look for other alternatives - journal, take up meditation, go for long walks, see a therapist, whatever.
I see my former eating habits as mis-guided attempts at self-nurture. Sometimes I needed time to myself... and ate, so I didn't have to do chores. Or was stressed, and ate for comfort.
Do it anyway. The relationship between emotions and food is a chicken-and-egg one. You can address the emotional aspects and hope the eating will change (and there are programs based on that approach). Or you can do it the other way, and change the habits first... which may lead to addressing issues that were being addressed (though not well) through food.
So, whatever is going on in your head, tell yourself "That may be, but I'm just going to do this anyway."
Let me add - kudos for facing those feelings! Best wishes!
All of your responses were very helpful. I have not looked at it as an affirmation for doing something good for myself and buying new things is a reinforcement. I guess I can't get out of my head that the slowness is a difference because speed is usually a goal of losing weight. Even though I keep reading that people have been losing slowly, I guess I'm too green yet. And I am not taking one step at a time.
The re framing steps are interesting. It seems like not re framing is another way of not stopping your self when something seems right. Own my emotions? What's that? I need to bury them. feel frustrated too.
I am going to do it this way. It is possible to lose weight. People tha thave are excited to share. But aren't other factors controlling me?
The re framing steps are interesting. It seems like not re framing is another way of not stopping your self when something seems right. Own my emotions? What's that? I need to bury them. feel frustrated too.
I am going to do it this way. It is possible to lose weight. People tha thave are excited to share. But aren't other factors controlling me?
"A pizza box is not a plate!" E. Reinhard
Do this for you!
Like KCCC, I'm not sure what factors you are talking about but I can share with you that one thing we can always do for ourselves is to try to own our own actions. . . meaning you get to decide how you react to whatever comes your way. We often can't control the extrinsic parts of our lives-how others treat us, what someone says, how ends just don't meet like they should, what happens at work, and on and on. What we do get to do is to decide how to react to those things. We can either let it get to us or we can ignore it or find a way to change it. I know--lots easier said than done, but it's a valuable skill to work on. It's been said that no one can take advantage of you without your permission--that could be applied to how your react to things that happen to you as well.
One of the things I love about No S is that its simplicity and sustainability provides a strong structure to each day--it's like something that provides the skeleton of my day so it's one thing I don't have to stress about even when other parts of my day are going haywire. Given that, I can turn my energy toward dealing with all the other stuff. Now that's a freedom that's worth something!
Gosh, didn't mean for this to sound like I'm a counselor or something--but this is the sort of thing I tell friends or colleagues who come to me with questions like you have posed so off I went!
By the way, you said that losing weight would help your back pain. I have to say that you might be surprised how much difference even a few pounds can make. I've been told that every five pounds (I think it's five) we are overweight adds fifty pounds of stress to our joints and that losing even five or ten pounds can make a difference in joint pain (and I'm guessing back pain too?) I had knee surgery in 2005 and have had multiple foot issues in recent years. Now that I have finally found a way to drop some pounds, I can attest that even a little weight loss makes a big difference. I have managed to lose about 13 pounds so far and it just occurred to me this week that I seem to lost all my pain in the knee and my foot. I haven't done anything else differently so it must be that losing that "over 100 pounds" of joint stress really did make the difference. Wow--I'll be ready to run a race when I lose fifty real pounds!
Hang in there--in the words of another poster. . . "be gentle with yourself." Be your own best friend and do this for YOU! You are worth it and you have to believe that.
One of the things I love about No S is that its simplicity and sustainability provides a strong structure to each day--it's like something that provides the skeleton of my day so it's one thing I don't have to stress about even when other parts of my day are going haywire. Given that, I can turn my energy toward dealing with all the other stuff. Now that's a freedom that's worth something!
Gosh, didn't mean for this to sound like I'm a counselor or something--but this is the sort of thing I tell friends or colleagues who come to me with questions like you have posed so off I went!
By the way, you said that losing weight would help your back pain. I have to say that you might be surprised how much difference even a few pounds can make. I've been told that every five pounds (I think it's five) we are overweight adds fifty pounds of stress to our joints and that losing even five or ten pounds can make a difference in joint pain (and I'm guessing back pain too?) I had knee surgery in 2005 and have had multiple foot issues in recent years. Now that I have finally found a way to drop some pounds, I can attest that even a little weight loss makes a big difference. I have managed to lose about 13 pounds so far and it just occurred to me this week that I seem to lost all my pain in the knee and my foot. I haven't done anything else differently so it must be that losing that "over 100 pounds" of joint stress really did make the difference. Wow--I'll be ready to run a race when I lose fifty real pounds!
Hang in there--in the words of another poster. . . "be gentle with yourself." Be your own best friend and do this for YOU! You are worth it and you have to believe that.
LA Loser. . . well on my way to becoming an LA Winner. 
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Happy Cooker
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- Location: Eastern Mass.
What they said
KCCC and LA Loser give some great advice. I can only add that I, too, have felt like the queen of excuses, of self-deception. Some of mine went like this: "It's just one piece of chocolate," "I deserve something sweet after every meal," "Chocolate is brain food!"
I've never had the thing with the clothes, but when you find yourself getting too small for some current favorites, you might want to organize or attend a clothing exchange. They're a blast, especially if you resist the urge to compare your body to others'. Your clothes may find new wearers and you will come away with some new things--all for no money! Surprisingly, these exchanges work even with people of all different sizes--many of us go up and down. I got some of my best clothes from two women who seemed to be about half my size--weight and height. One must have bought hers when pregnant, the other had lost a significant amount of weight. I probably came away with $600 worth of "new" clothes.
If you can stick with No S for a few months, you will certainly see results, and probably long before that. Your confidence will snowball as time goes on. You deserve to be a healthy weight. The sensible structure of No S is a great platform from which to launch a more joyful self. Dig for the root of your fears, but don't get stuck there. I have found Geneen Roth's work a great help for confronting emotional issues around food, and No S fits in nicely with her approach.
I've never had the thing with the clothes, but when you find yourself getting too small for some current favorites, you might want to organize or attend a clothing exchange. They're a blast, especially if you resist the urge to compare your body to others'. Your clothes may find new wearers and you will come away with some new things--all for no money! Surprisingly, these exchanges work even with people of all different sizes--many of us go up and down. I got some of my best clothes from two women who seemed to be about half my size--weight and height. One must have bought hers when pregnant, the other had lost a significant amount of weight. I probably came away with $600 worth of "new" clothes.
If you can stick with No S for a few months, you will certainly see results, and probably long before that. Your confidence will snowball as time goes on. You deserve to be a healthy weight. The sensible structure of No S is a great platform from which to launch a more joyful self. Dig for the root of your fears, but don't get stuck there. I have found Geneen Roth's work a great help for confronting emotional issues around food, and No S fits in nicely with her approach.