Death of loved one

fatfarmlady · Post by **fatfarmlady** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:49 am

Hi, it's been about a year since I posted last. I have had ups and downs with my No S and my life, more downs than ups lately. I lost my soulmate and love on November 17th of 2008. He wasn't much of a support for my dieting, but in other aspects he was wonderful and I miss him soo much. I find myself eating sweets, bakery, and everything else that is yummy and bad for you. i did manage to lose 20 lbs before and have put back on 8, which isn't too bad. i need to lose about 60 more. Maybe some of you will remember me. I am taking my days one at a time. i need to take care of me or i will be in bad shape with my heart and diabetes. my bones ache the way it is. Is anybody out there in the same boat I am? I'd like to hear from you.

fatfarmlady

la_loser · Post by **la_loser** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 3:42 am

Please accept my condolences in the loss of your loved one. I know it's been hard to go through this long tough winter we've had especially as you've been dealing with your loss.

You know that we will be here for you. I do remember you. I was the last person to post to your thread in July, 2008. You've had such a trying year and you deserve to put yourself first. And you're right, you do have to take one day at a time and take care of yourself. You want to get yourself healthy to be around for those grandbabies, Nana!

I do hear you when you talk about those health issues and aches and pains. Only in the last few days I can walk without being aware every step of either pain in one foot or in the other knee. And since every time I get going on any significant exercise, I manage to mess up some body part, I'm nearly afraid to move for fear of reinjuring myself!

Are you trying to handle the farm by yourself? In any event, I know you must have your hands full. Several times recently when people have posted about having some significantly serious issues going on in their lives, it's been pointed out that perhaps during tough times, No S can give our lives some structure in our lives; its simplicity and saneness can give us something to hang on to so we can focus on getting the other parts of lives on track. You can become Fit Farm Lady!

Stay on the boards and keep posting-you can be sure someone will reply. This board is so supportive.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:29 am

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss!!
I hope you find peace and comfort, and know that true love is eternal.
You will always be connected to your loved one.
But that must be so so hard!!
I can't even imagine!!
Good for you for letting people know and getting some support when you need it so much!!
And definitely take care of yourself!!
Love,

Debs

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:07 pm

Welcome back. I've been around a while, so of course I remember you and am glad to see you. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that you have loving friends and family around you.

On comfort eating...One of the things I have learned about myself is that emotional eating is a misguided attempt at self-nurture. When I do it, it is a signal that I genuinely need to take care of myself; it's just not a productive way to do it. With all that's happened in your life, you clearly need some self-nurture too... what can you do BESIDES eat that makes you feel better? Think about small indulgences that you don't normally "allow" yourself, and all the senses... a snuggly blanket, scented candles or flowers, slightly pricey N-safe treats (raspberries for me!!), time to read or knit, new music, something beautiful that you'll see daily, etc. Be gentle with yourself and address the REAL emotions that you are feeling, and the food will retreat as a comfort strategy.

Hope that helps - if not, just let it go, and accept my best wishes. Hope to see you around for a while.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:30 pm

Hi, I'm so so sorry for your loss. You've got a ton of stuff going on in your life.. I agree with the others in that you really need to take care of yourself. Pamper.

Just to introduce myself, I started oct. '08, lost 15-20 then gained it over Christmas. It took me a while to get going again, but here I am... We're kinda neighbors. At huge life changing moments in my life I've found that I either gain or loose weight. And lots of it. My advice would be to take the time to evaluate and really pour yourself into this. You deserve it

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 3:48 am

I'm so sorry (((((hugs)))))

I am glad to see you back. Perhaps try to think of happy memories of your loved one instead of seeking snacks or sweets to bury your sorrows. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

I'm thinking of you

Post by **reinhard** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:23 am

I am so sorry to hear this.

I know diet is a trivial thing in comparison with your loss, but no more so than brushing your teeth in the morning. It's something that one way or another has to be done, and if you do it right, moderately, you may find it a surprisingly great help rather than a petty distraction.

Anyway, sorry to preach. I haven't suffered a loss like yours and have no right. Just trying to find a way to make no-s seem less burdensome, if you feel you're ready for it again.

My sincere condolences and best wishes,

Reinhard

brotherjohn · Post by **brotherjohn** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:03 pm

I am sorry for your loss and sadness.

It is my hope that the bulletin board here might be an encouragement to you, even if it is a very small one. It has been my experience that "every little bit helps" or at very least it doesn't hurt anything.

Welcome back, and I look forward to hearing from you!

blessings,

John

Everyday Systems

Death of loved one

Death of loved one

My sympathies are with you.