Probably shouldn't but thinking about making a Mod.

[FarmerHal]

I am having such an issue since I moved home with Sweets when it comes to family gatherings and it not technically being an S day.

Like today for instance, technically perfect as far as no snacks, no seconds, very nicely balanced meals, BUT I met an old highschool friend for lunch, catching up and we split a piece of pie. So it was a small, small S but I still feel terrible because now that makes my day RED.

I am thinking about making a mod, and I read someone else on here doing it too, no sweets except when offered- or an occasion like that, where it's rare and offered. Not even necessarily have Sweets on S days, especially if there have been other sweets during the week.

I don't keep sweets in the house and I don't go out seeking a sweet daily just because. It's a once in a while.

I think I'm going to make this mod, and work very hard on keeping my meals sensible, no seconds (this one has almost always stuck with me, thankfully) and no snacking (still tough to conquer)

It's ongoing!

What do you guys think?

[spleener]

I think failure is part of the process (it's part of life, after all). With the pie thing, you know what you did, and why; you made a conscious decision, and didn't let it cause your whole day to spiral out of control. That's all really good. Seeing that red day on your calendar is a reminder of the decision you made, and you can decide whether it's something you want to do again.

For me at least, making an accommodation to built-in cheating is just an invitation for this whole thing to unravel. The occasional cheat (legitimized with a new rule) could easily become a much more frequent occurrence. Racking up the day as a failure bothers you...I think that's good, because it's less likely to become a regular thiing.

Your mileage may vary, but I think it's better to let your failure days just be failure days. The rules are few, and very clear cut; I think it's good to leave them that way.

[gratefuldeb67]

I agree completely with Spleener.
Tiffany, I had nine or ten red days for June and still lost weight.
They were all small things like your pie.. But I actually feel fine calling them failures and prefer that to a "muddy" yellow day where I really don't know what happened when I look back at the calendar.
Keep up the good work on not having snacks and seconds.
Let your S days be S days.. don't punish yourself if you had something during the week.
S days are Sacred.
Debs

[DC++]

Spleener's words are wise.

[jules]

It sounds like a shared piece of pie with a friend you rarely see could qualify as an S-event. That's a mod that's already in practice for some.

I don't personally have an issue with S days gone wild so the idea of an S-event doesn't really appeal to me. However, if you have a problem with Snacks or Sweets, I think it would be wisest to get vanilla No-S down before you use any mod, including S-event. So until you get vanilla No-S down, I think a sweet on an N-day would be a failure.

jules

[kccc]

You can take occasional (my rule-of-thumb is two or less) NWS (Non-Weekend S-days) for very special occasions.

So, it this comes up again, ask yourself if it qualifies.

If so, enjoy your pie.

If not, have coffee or tea with your friend and enjoy the company. (People REALLY don't care what you do/don't eat as much as you think.)

You might also try LA_Loser's extra calendar to track how "idiotic" a failure (or S-day) was. That helps you see where it was one-slip-followed-by-recovery versus a total-car-wreck.

But the best advice comes from vmsurbat: Mark it and move on.

And my last bit of advice: before you make this decision, go listen to the "strictness" podcast again, followed by the series on mods/tweaks.

[la_loser]

What KCCC said. . . I just hadn't gotten around to saying it! (I think she and I must have been twins separated at birth! Hi Sis!)
Tiffany, you (and KCCC) have been a part of No S since 2006, longer than most of the rest of us. Certainly you know what works for you and what doesn't. Maybe think back to what really worked for you when you lost the most -- last year or the year before-I don't remember but I'm sure you do.

Just think to how many people have written on here about modifying/tweaking this or that then come back later with the declaration that they're going to back to Vanilla No S because that's what works. That's not to say that some mods may very well work for some people. It's just

Rather than repost AGAIN, here is the link to what I said to BonnieUK yesterday about a similar issue. . . about middle way down the thread. . .
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic ... ght=#62804

Meanwhile you've two S days this weekend--enjoy and do not allow yourself to feel any guilt. . .

And today, remember that we are thinking of you and your husband's service to our country. He and so many others are what allows us to continue to celebrate our independence today. Thank you to all members of the military services across the world and their families!