Why do i keep ruining things?

Dolly · Post by **Dolly** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:07 pm

I can't believe what I have just done.

i was feeling really good, my jeans were a bit looser, felt in control.
Then I put myself in a stupidly dangerous position.....my stepson and his friend are staying and as sixteen year-olds are eating us out of house and home...anyway they wanted me to bake a chocolate cake- an old recipe of my mothers, with about a million calories a slice. I agreed but they all went out for the day and i was left baking on my own....to cut a long story short i have eaten one cake layer that didn't work out along with frosting and that set me off on a major binge. Now i feel like crap and angry for being so weak and stupid.......

Why do I do these things?
heavy sigh
Dolly

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:12 pm

Awww, I'm sorry.

Because it's hard to resist homemade chocolate cake, and then you beat yourself up over eating and felt like you didn't deserve to succeed?

What's the saying someone came up with here -- Pick yourself up, dust off the crumbs, and keep going! One cake layer, in the context of the whole rest of your life, isn't going to to make that much difference.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:24 pm

Live and learn...
Next time, put it in a container labeled "touch and I'll kill you" and hide it in the freezer. I have all of my special treats hidden in that treasure chest and nobody knows...shhhh. Then when I need a treat on the weekend, or say, Godfather's combo during the week, I have it presto. No S doesn't restrict the what... just the when.

It helps get me through. Think of your freezer as your treasure chest.

Also... I have what I call a panic button. When I feel the strong urge to go eat a no-no... and I'm on the last panic level, I eat a jolly rancher. It has a very strong flavor, it takes so long to eat it and it's so hard/sticky that you can't chew or loose a filling. It is my only mod and it has saved my butt several times. I only use it in total emergencies... maybe once a week. I figure that if 1 piece of candy can save the day, and possibly the week, it's a good mod!

tarantinofan · Post by **tarantinofan** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:25 pm

Woah, that's crazy. I was going to look through the whole discussion site for this sort of thing, but here you are with my exact predicament.

I've recently lost a few pounds on the No S Diet. Then, yesterday and today, I binged. I didn't even have the excuse of baking a cake. I just felt deprived and decided to overeat. And I did. I wasn't hungry. I just wanted sugar and crap in my body because I felt awful and deprived. So now I feel grossly stuffed. I'm going to Hawaii, and you know what, I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK AND SO WILL YOU! You know why? Because we are good enough to lose weight! We can do it! We deserve to be healthy and have normal relationships with food.

I'm so sorry you struggle with the same sort of thing I do. Bingeing is no fun on so many levels. I wish you the best of success in the future, and I know that No S is leading us to feel more in control around food. We just have to tough through a few failures in order to get to healthy, new habits!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:39 pm

Why do you do those things? Because you're human. You're not the first or the last. I'd be willing to bet that everyone does these things now and again. I'm not sure why we get so upset when we do them, except that they're contrary to a goal of weight loss.

There's a great story that I read in one of Steven Covey's "7 Habit" books. Pilots are off-course something like 90% of the time. But they just keep making the adjustments necessary to get back on course. We don't know and don't care, as long as we arrive at the right destination. If you were on plane and headed for New York, but landed in Baltimore, you might be a little upset. But as long as you land in New York, you really don't care that the plane was off-course 90% of the time.

The point is that no matter what your destination or goal, you're going to be off-course most of the time. It's normal. Just get back on-course.

Dolly · Post by **Dolly** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:15 pm

Wow, thanks everyone, I am quite overwhelmed. Those were quick responses and exactly what I needed. I don't think I am quite strong enough for a treasure chest yet...although I really like that idea and when I think I'm a little less likely to have the urge to delve in to the freezer and eat all the treats in there (in other words, when I start to trust in the idea of "when" (S days) and give up this awful diet mentality I have I think that is a very good plan!

I start a new job next week and I am a bit anxious, you know, new people, new places etc......new expectations....and that always sets me off on a binge BUT I will get a grip- you are right, we can all beat this!

I suppose what I do is ruminate on what I have or have not eaten and beat myself up whereas those of us who don't have issues with food and eating will just say "I ate a whole load of cake today, it was GREAT" and not think any more about it.

I'm 10 pounds off my target. That's it! It's ridiculous that I am finding it all so hard but I am still convinced that No S is the way to go.
Thanks again
Dolly x

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:38 pm

Pilots are off-course something like 90% of the time. But they just keep making the adjustments necessary to get back on course. We don't know and don't care, as long as we arrive at the right destination. If you were on plane and headed for New York, but landed in Baltimore, you might be a little upset. But as long as you land in New York, you really don't care that the plane was off-course 90% of the time.

Hmmm...sounds like a good analogy to NoS...and then there's *just because you put a dent in the car doesn't mean you have to drive it into a brick wall* - or something like that!!

Or remember the all-time best line of all...

Mark it and move on!

Mimi

oliviamanda · Post by **oliviamanda** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:54 pm

Don't beat yourself up! Next time I'd tell them if they want cake go down to the convenience store and buy a slice of Entemann's. Although homemade is better, but who can not lick the bowl of batter and the knife with the icing, let alone not indulge in the fruits of your labor?

If this isn't a regular thing, then just pick yourself up and if you think you've ruined any progress I would lighten up on you next S day or just do a little more exercise to burn off those calories... even a 20 minute walk or some shovelglove, whatever will make you feel better! Sometimes we need our indulgences... and a family recipe is kind of sentimental and comforting. We hope you enjoyed it at least. Stay positive. You are doing great.

StrawberryRoan · Post by **StrawberryRoan** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:56 pm

Hey, I've been there. Don't sweat it.

I think the fact that you realize it is the beauty of NO S.

Just move on, unless you eat a layer of cake slathered with icing every day, I wouldn't give it another thought.

Berry

Nichole · Post by **Nichole** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:20 pm

The other day I binged on a whole pint of Oreo cookie ice cream. I usually only eat half! I usually don't buy it at all, but hubby gave it to me and I went crazy.

Sometimes we lose control, it's normal. You just have to dust yourself off and keep on going, but never give up!

LoneWolf009 · Post by **LoneWolf009** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:46 pm

I use a similar method like Reneew, except that instead of a Jolly Rancher or any hard candies, I make myself a hot cocoa (made with water) and usually works because it gradually tames the craving for chocolate. Also if I do end up eating a sweet treat or having a snack or seconds, I tell myself that it will not unravel the other days I was on course, and that instead of feeling bad I just modify my "s" days for the week, so instead I will count the day that I gave in as an "s" day (which I did last Wednesday because a co-worker brought in a devils' food cake) so this weekend I did good

. Like the old cliche, three steps forward, one step back, but I am still ahead by two

LoriLifts · Post by **LoriLifts** » Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:08 am

OK, I may be the queen of falling off the wagon!

I joined this board on January 11, 2008. For 18 months I've been attempting to do Vanilla No S for 21 days. I haven't been successful yet!

But you know what? In spite of all my slips, my weight has slowly been decreasing. The road may be bumpy but I'm heading toward my goal.

And you will too.

Keep on trucking,
Lori

Dolly · Post by **Dolly** » Thu Jul 30, 2009 9:53 pm

Thanks so much y'all; these all helped me to take stock and refocus as well as put it all in to perspective. As a result, I have had a much better day today.

D x

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:21 pm

Two things:

I was reading a book totally unrelated to diet and came upon this quote:

"I learn from my mistakes -- I can make the same mistake with greater ease the second time around." Unknown grafitti writer

Then I was looking for something specific in Mark Bittman's Food Matters and found this (he's talking about his way of eating):

"And sometimes I give up. This is a long-range plan, after all, and what happens on any given day matters not at all. Overeating, or eating 'badly' in the modern American style, is not a physical addiction, like smoking, drinking or heroin; you can recover from an off day the next day, with no lingering ill effects, even psychological ones."