Friday nights are tough

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:11 am

It's a longish evening (bedtime is later), I'm tired from the work week, I feel like I deserve a treat, but I have to wait until tomorrow. So I check the No S Diet General Discussion board instead and get another stick of gum.

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:24 pm

I agree. If I'm going out there's usually temptation to eat and/or drink more than I want to. And if I'm staying home, I have the same feeling you do - I've finished a long week at work, I'm tired, and I deserve a treat. I think of how someone on this board (KCCC?) described overeating as an attempt to self-nurture, and realize that's exactly what I want to do.

noni · Post by **noni** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:29 pm

Friday nights are very hard for me, too. I usually grocery shop on Friday. My supermarket bakes these incredible donuts. I could just pass by them, but then my four big and little men at home look for them. Sometimes I can hold off till Saturday to eat them, but lets face it, they're not as fresh. But no matter what day I shop, they will look for those donuts and I can't have them. Shopping Saturday messes up my day to do other things needed.

And it's not just the donuts; Hubby said to me, " You mean we can never go out on a Friday night to dinner?" Well, we don't go out alot and I usually don't order dessert when we do and also, I enjoy taking home the leftovers but I still eat more than normally than when I'm home.

I let the whole Friday thing get to me. It feels like a celebration day and I'm not invited! Feeling sorry for myself, I started to modify. So I ate dessert on Friday night only. It might have worked for someone else but for me it spread like a cancer. I used to weigh myself every week on Friday morning. I moved it to Saturday morning so it would give me incentive not to overeat on Friday. It didn't work for long and overeating metastisized to my other N days.

Now I'm regaining the lost pounds and today I didn't have the nerve to weigh myself. I cried out to my husband, "Why must I need this eating program to succeed! There are thin people everywhere who can eat dessert at night and not be fat!" And he responded that I needed a regimen, and I do because it doesn't end with one dessert.

I'm considering having a grand talk with hubby and ask him to pick up the donuts on Saturday because many times he's on the road then. I'm not going to sweat the Friday nights out because they are few and far between. I"ll just mark it red or yellow for a special occasion when it calls for it.

I was doing well for 5 months on No S. I lost 20 lbs and just had another 10 to go to put me in the normal-high bracket of the BMI chart, but then the Friday detrimental self-talk started and it was downhill from there on.

All this babbling on to say, I understand but be careful not to feel sorry for yourself. I wish you well.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:02 pm

We used to routinely go out on Friday nights, so I started the weekend with Friday night and ended Sunday afternoon. It worked very well for me. We no longer do that, so I start the S days on Saturday.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:03 pm

I also find Friday nights difficult. There's something about the end of a hard week that makes me feel "I deserve..."

I tried the starting-on-Friday routine. It worked well for a time, then didn't so much because I didn't stop on time on Sunday so was having 2.5 S-days (too much for me). So, I stopped that mod.

Now, I try to plan an extra-nice but perfectly "n-safe" dinner and have a glass of wine. And I try to practice what I preach about looking for other forms of self-nurturing.

And of course, posting here always helps.

I think I am using this board as a substitute for a blog or portions of my journal (which I don't always get to these days).

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:29 pm

We start S days Friday after dinner. It's not a big deal.
If we have a small ice cream it doesn't throw off the whole weekend.
At this point the S days are pretty moderate compared to the year we joined NoS, when we would have major "fiestas" every weekend religiously! LOL
Now it's usually more like two to three treats all weekend, and sometimes less than that. Mind you, it's been a long time we've been practicing, so S days are just much more moderate anyway, and even N days.
I'm not trying to undermine your willpower, but I'd say do whatever really works for you.
Good luck!

Debs

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:36 pm

gratefuldeb67 wrote:We start S days Friday after dinner. It's not a big deal.
If we have a small ice cream it doesn't throw off the whole weekend.
At this point the S days are pretty moderate compared to the year we joined NoS, when we would have major "fiestas" every weekend religiously! LOL
Now it's usually more like two to three treats all weekend, and sometimes less than that. Mind you, it's been a long time we've been practicing, so S days are just much more moderate anyway, and even N days.
I'm not trying to undermine your willpower, but I'd say do whatever really works for you.
Good luck!
Debs

I like that idea. I also like the idea of doing what works for you.

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 12:21 pm

My weekends are still pretty out of control for the most part, this past one being one of the worst ever.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:20 pm

Friday nights are very difficult if you do social things. You *might* want to try the "double sabbath" mod (sundown Friday to sundown Sunday) and see if it makes your Saturdays and Sundays less food frantic.

I would caution you - there's a slippery slope here. Don't let this be an opportunity to just introduce another 12 hours of excess consumption. You will need to "religiously" guard those Sunday nights (part of why I call it the sabbath mod). Make your last meal on Sunday an event to be observed.

We don't do a lot of going-out-socially anymore, so I use a tightened up sabbath mod - if I want, I'll eat seconds or perhaps dessert on Friday night (but still no snacking), and I always stop with dinner on Sunday. Works for me, and I think it keeps me from gorging on Saturday and Sunday.

guadopt1997 wrote:My weekends are still pretty out of control for the most part, this past one being one of the worst ever.

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:18 pm

Kevin, this might actually work for me. There's the added "incentive" of Monday morning weigh-ins to try to keep Sunday evening sane.

Thanks!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:29 pm

guadopt1997 wrote:Kevin, this might actually work for me. There's the added "incentive" of Monday morning weigh-ins to try to keep Sunday evening sane.

Thanks!

Bear in mind...when you weigh on Monday morning, you'll have the actual weight of the food consumed Sunday evening -- not weight you may have gained from eating it. It takes more than 12 hours for calories consumed to become body weight. If there's actual weight gain, it's from what you ate a week ago Sunday!

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:47 pm

And I ate a LOT!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:20 pm

I like that idea. I also like the idea of doing what works for you.

I think wosnes aptly said it...doing what works for you. That is one of the best features of NoS - having rules so simple, there's room to modify what's not working for you until it's working. This is enough to keep diet rebellion and total abandonment at bay, I believe...at least it does for me. Extreme rigidity sets me up for all or nothing thinking and seeing only black and white - no gray - and that's not good for me.
Keep at it Liz and you'll get it figured out!

Mimi

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:45 pm

I think wosnes pointed out in another thread that it has to be your routine, or you'll never make it a routine.

However, we can all agree that part of the reason No-S helps you lose weight is because you are limiting your opportunities to eat, and those opportunities correspond with social norms, cultural history, are convenient, and probably work best for your body.

Don't stray too far from Vanilla No-Swould be my strong caution.

mimi wrote:
I like that idea. I also like the idea of doing what works for you.
I think wosnes aptly said it...doing what works for you. That is one of the best features of NoS - having rules so simple, there's room to modify what's not working for you until it's working. This is enough to keep diet rebellion and total abandonment at bay, I believe...at least it does for me. Extreme rigidity sets me up for all or nothing thinking and seeing only black and white - no gray - and that's not good for me.
Keep at it Liz and you'll get it figured out!

Mimi :D

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:52 pm

Don't stray too far from Vanilla No-S would be my strong caution.

I agree with you there Kevin!

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:42 pm

Well, the actual weight *might* still be with you, but maybe not if it was Mexican food.

This mass of the food versus weight gain has always been sort of magic to me.

wosnes wrote: Bear in mind...when you weigh on Monday morning, you'll have the actual weight of the food consumed Sunday evening -- not weight you may have gained from eating it. It takes more than 12 hours for calories consumed to become body weight. If there's actual weight gain, it's from what you ate a week ago Sunday!

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:46 pm

Kevin wrote:Well, the actual weight *might* still be with you, but maybe not if it was Mexican food.

[/quote]

Of all the food to pick, it so happens I grew up in Mexico!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:49 pm

Kevin wrote:I think wosnes pointed out in another thread that it has to be your routine, or you'll never make it a routine.

However, we can all agree that part of the reason No-S helps you lose weight is because you are limiting your opportunities to eat, and those opportunities correspond with social norms, cultural history, are convenient, and probably work best for your body.

Don't stray too far from Vanilla No-Swould be my strong caution.

mimi wrote:
I like that idea. I also like the idea of doing what works for you.
I think wosnes aptly said it...doing what works for you. That is one of the best features of NoS - having rules so simple, there's room to modify what's not working for you until it's working. This is enough to keep diet rebellion and total abandonment at bay, I believe...at least it does for me. Extreme rigidity sets me up for all or nothing thinking and seeing only black and white - no gray - and that's not good for me.
Keep at it Liz and you'll get it figured out!

Mimi

Yes, it has to be your routine. As I've said previously, I started out not following the one plate rule because I didn't realize it existed. Other changes or modifications I've made have been based on thinking it through and determining what would work best for me. All of the changes are now part of my routine or habit. Not only that, they're something that will most likely work for me for a lifetime. There's always a possibility that things will change and I'll need to modify habits again, but right now that isn't the case.

I don't know if it's because I'm older or because I've been around No-S for a while, but when random events occur, I don't stress about it. If for some reason I can't eat dinner until much later than usual, I'll have a snack to tide me over and not worry. If someone I've not seen or been in touch with for a while calls and suggests dinner out -- it's a special day and I'll treat it accordingly. These things are rare -- not even monthly -- so I just don't worry about them when they occur.

Another thing I've never done is use HabitCal. To me, that makes it a four-letter-word diet and that's something I don't want or need. I know when I've screwed up; I don't need to see it.

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:18 pm

I don't think I'd be able to have just a few cookies every evening. I guess I'm more of an all or nothing eater. So it's nothing on weekdays (which I'm pretty good at sticking too) and it's all on weekends, which I need to work on.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:33 pm

Well, no offense, I hope. I really meant the American Mexican crap that causes GI distress.

guadopt1997 wrote:
Kevin wrote:Well, the actual weight *might* still be with you, but maybe not if it was Mexican food.

Of all the food to pick, it so happens I grew up in Mexico!

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:37 pm

How it went:

Friday was odd in that I actually snacked on 2 clementines, which I don't ever do on No-S. Then I got home and had part of dinner before soccer and two slices of pizza after. But then it kind of went downhill: I ate an entire box of six twix ice cream bars.

Saturday was not much better since I ate the other entire box (during the course of the day), plus four slices of pizza for dinner, and an excessively large breakfast.

Decided not to have an S day on Sunday, since I'd just had two. That went very well.

Lesson learned: cannot, CANNOT, buy ice cream in anything but a single serving portion.

Not sure if I'll stick to the Friday and Saturday S day combo. Maybe will play it by ear.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:38 pm

Ice cream is nearly pure evil. It's high sugar and high fat. It's everything that a craver craves. You'd do well to keep it out of the house.

guadopt1997 wrote:How it went:

Friday was odd in that I actually snacked on 2 clementines, which I don't ever do on No-S. Then I got home and had part of dinner before soccer and two slices of pizza after. But then it kind of went downhill: I ate an entire box of six twix ice cream bars.

Saturday was not much better since I ate the other entire box (during the course of the day), plus four slices of pizza for dinner, and an excessively large breakfast.

Decided not to have an S day on Sunday, since I'd just had two. That went very well.

Lesson learned: cannot, CANNOT, buy ice cream in anything but a single serving portion.

Not sure if I'll stick to the Friday and Saturday S day combo. Maybe will play it by ear.