Everyday Systems

I have been thinking about S-days in general, especially in light of some of the discussion. I have some conflicting ideas...that are all true.

First, I think S-days are important, especially when first beginning. "Always" is too long for any restriction. For similar reasons, I'm leery of adding S-day restrictions, because they can backfire all too easily.

I also do think N-day habits can carry over (though a little active attention to helping that process along is not a bad idea). My "best" S-days reflect that. Even on "wild" ones, I do tend to keep to meal structures and try to remember to drink enough, both of which make a real difference.

However... habit is a powerful thing, and it cuts both ways. I think I've allowed myself to develop a habit of having wild S-days. There's still too much "eat it now because I can't after today" thinking.

This is a habit that I don't like. In the terms of my kid, it's "not my friend."

I know adding restrictions will also add stress/pressure that I probably won't manage well. (That may work for some of you, but I know myself well enough to know it's a bad idea).

What HAS been working (and it works well on N-days too), is to ask myself "is this a habit I want to build?" It's a good response to that little voice that says "it's an S-day, you're allowed." ("Sure I am. But this isn't a habit I want to build.") That internal rejoinder gives me a chance to step back and decide if I really truly WANT whatever-it-is... or if it's just... well... habit.

The nice thing about habits is that you can build the ones you want, and then they ARE your friends.

Don't you just love the self-determination that's built into the No-S system?

I know exactly what you mean. I couldn't wait for my firts S day! I was so excited to be able to eat the things that I denied myself all week. BUT, I was also fearful of undoing everything I'd accomplished that week. I do usually gain back a little, but am still ahead of the game. I can see doing this indefinitely and that's what's important! By the way, I needed this forum tonight. Holiday's are so full of food! Thanks everyone.

Oh yes...the S Day Question..
This is where I see all the different personalities and experiences coming into play on this board. There is obviously not a one size fits all answer and working out how our own individual control centers function seems to be very important. I do enjoy the posts from those who are on this journey.

I agree that "self talk" is an important factor. I also agree that I cannot have uncontrolled S days or that undoes all the habit building of the previous week. And it is true that being too strict sets me up for failure.

I am going to try to remind myself that I have 104 S days (+ at least 10 more birthdays, holidays and anniverseries) ahead of me in 2010 and I don't have to approach each one as an opportunity to make up for years of deprivation!

I like the emphasis on habit building and asking your question should be helpful for my weak mind!

TexArk wrote:
I am going to try to remind myself that I have 104 S days (+ at least 10 more birthdays, holidays and anniverseries) ahead of me in 2010 and I don't have to approach each one as an opportunity to make up for years of deprivation!

Seeing real numbers puts things in such a different perspective. 104 S days plus the others is at least 124 annually. Since there are 365 days -- nearly one-third of the days are S days (or days in which you could have S events). Or, in my case, I can have up to 3 S-events weekly, which means almost half the days can include S events. While No-S has never sounded like a form of deprivation, realizing that 1/3 to 1/2 of the days can be S-Days or have S-Events makes it sound even less so.