Everyday Systems

Just looking for any tips for doing "No S" with little children in the home. Seems like I'm always handling food for the kids, they really need an afternoon snack to make it to suppertime, and the hardest thing is not getting to sit down and finish one plate of food at a mealtime. There's always popping up to help the family or eating later or earlier than them in order to have uninterrupted mealtime for myself. I've attempted and failed at "No S" several times now.......it just feels impossible to sit down and get to eat 3 plates of food a day while caring for the needs of small children....

I usually eat my meals separately from my son (he's 2). Partly, because it's more relaxing for me, and partly becasue he has special needs, so I usually spend his feeding time working with him on communication and other things related to his feedings. If I do end up eating with him, he's sufficient enough now so that it's generally not a problem.
How many kids do you have? Are they old enough to eat by themselves? If worse comes to worse, you could always fix yourself a plate of food and eat part of it with your kids, and part of it when they're done eating and off doing something else. You'd still be eating off of the one plate, but it would just be spread out a little bit.

I totally agree with Clarnietgirl. If it is impossible to finish your meal, make up a plate (or virtual plate) for youself during mealtimes and, if something comes up with the kids, I think it is reasonable to finish it later. Just keep it to the one plate.

In terms of the afternoon snack, I'm a SAHM of a now 7 year old, but she does have a small healthy snack after school everyday. I'll sometimes sip on a glass of water (or tea or any other S approved drink) when she is eating her snack. I've just made a decision that it is her snacktime not mine, a choice I made years ago when she was still small and home all day. When we had playgroups and the like, coffee was my best friend.

I'm not a SAHM, and my child was older when I began No-S... but I remember the days of being unable to eat, etc. Plus, I had real trouble with "No-S@home" for a while. So, I'm drawing on those experiences to offer suggestions. Use what you can, and toss the rest.

1) Always eat at the table, and make your kids do the same. This is good for you both. I have been SO grateful I instituted this rule early!! My child did have snacks when young, but they became part of the routine and gradually went away when he stopped needing them. He has very good eating habits now, in contrast to several of his friends barely eat at mealtime, but that's are always snacking on junk food between meals. I am so glad we didn't go that route. Added bonus: mess reduction - no food waste all over the family room.

2) If you can't eat with your kids, just have a drink and plan to eat at another time. You don't have to do it all together. Or, as Clarinetgirl suggested, plate your meal, but finish it afterwards (just try to keep it within a reasonable timeframe, so you're not really loading your plate to graze on all afternoon.)

3) Get out of the kitchen as much as possible. After meals, declare it "closed." If you need to get snacks together for your kids, prep them when you prep meals, so you can just get them at snacktime.

4) Empty your larder/pantry of things that you are most likely to snack on. Don't keep food on the counter (or at least, don't keep things you're likely to snack on).

5) To the best of your ability, plan meals you like (this is helpful for everyone, but I think it's especially important at stages where you tend to ignore your own needs, like when kids are little). And do plan ahead, so you don't fall into eating badly out of sheer exhaustion. Check the "intelligent dietary defaults" thread and come up with a few of your own, that you can throw together from items that are always on hand.

6) This is another general one that I especially recommend for you at this stage: Look for non-food things that make you happy, and incorporate them into your life. For me, eating was often a mis-guided attempt at self-nurture - food is comforting. But what I really needed might be sleep, or something to bring me joy. Buy flowers, indulge in scented bath items (neither of those take time), collaborate with your partner to get regular time for yourself, connect with friends... the larger your repertoire of "things that make me happy," the smaller the role that food will play.

7) Above all, be gentle with yourself. This is a demanding stage, but it will pass. When you fall off the wagon, dust off the crumbs and climb right back on. Give yourself credit for all you are accomplishing, and be your own biggest cheerleader.

Hope something here resonates. Best wishes!

It's been over 25 years since mine were little ones, but I do remember what I did. I was up before them in the morning and if I was going to eat (I'm not much of a breakfast eater), I ate before I fed them. At lunch and dinner, they were fed before I ate. At lunch, they were fed and down for a nap before I ate. At dinner they were at the table, but fed before I ate.

As long as they needed to be fed or required a lot of attention, they ate before the adults.

Thanks, All!

I think I just needed some encouragment for this season of life and to hear that it's okay to make a plate, but take over an hour to eat it sometimes.

After a lot of months, my hubby is on board now - starting his first week of "Non-S."

I've re-discovered hot tea (unsweetened) to help with the "post-kid-bedtime" unwind.

I hear ya Iowa Mom, I'm an Iowa SAHM too. We have 4, and the youngest is 8 now, but I've struggled with this since my oldest was born 17 years ago. I pretty much stopped my career in it's tracks to care for them 24/7/365. I wouldn't change a thing. I feel it's important to have meals with your kids. Sometimes interuptions happen. One time I remember it took probably 2 hours to finish my meal. Phone... kid puked...phone... door... husband... anyway, I understand! I think that if it's on your plate, you can have it whenever. Sometimes when there are interuptions, it gives me the oportunity (if I want it) to stop and ask myself if I still want it. If not, cover it and put it in the fridge. Now that my kids are all in school, I'm re-evaluting my day. It's definitely WAY easier without the kids underfoot to eat right. My big thing was that if I see it, I think I neeeeeeeeed it. Now I try to think "out of sight out of mouth". If your kids are little, hang in there, and remember that you're teaching them with every thing you do! If they see you eating whenever...

I'm a Minnesota SAHM, and I never would have stuck with this diet had I not seen my past in my daughter's future. When my now 16 year old was nine, I saw her rush into the kitchen as if she was starving. I will never forget that moment. It's as if a lightbulb went off: OMG, she's going to be like me with regard to food.

My daughter is very smart and very motivated. She tests in the 99th percentile and has straight As. She has a wonderful future in front of her.

My number one wish for her is that she continue to follow this diet. She has not lost weight. She has lost food obsession, and I think weight loss will follow.

Kathleen