help!!!

[babyprrr]

I don't really know what to do anymore. I tried to come back to NoS after a year of being away, and I've not had one perfect week so far. Normally monday, tuesday is good, then things start falling apart weds-fri. Then I decide to start again, going onto an S weekend where I eat more junk than I normally would if I wasn't on NoS, then the whole cycle starts again.

I've tried every diet mindset available under the sun: Eat Stop Eat( made me felt really deprived), Atkins (very briefly), eating only when im hungry ( doesn't work), leaving one-two hours between meals and dessert/snacks to ascertain whether i was really hungry ( ended up staring at the clock all the time). I've tried adding NoS mods ( floating S events, only one S event each weekend, even adding an extra S day mid-week so that I wouldn't feel like a failure if I screwed up once), not eating after twelve (not sustainable)None of it has worked.

I'm so sick of food taking over my life. I grew up a naturally thin person, ate three meals a day , snacked when i felt like it ( it was rare), had sweets when i felt like it (also rare). Food was part of my day to day life, not the main focus of it. Then I went to college, moved away from home, gained 10 pounds in freshman year...and food became this BIG thing. It was an all or nothing attitude. The ironic thing is the more I try to restrict myself, the more I gain, because I end up feeling sorry for myself and bingeing.

I used to be interested in other things..like literature, fashion, philosophy etc. Now all I read about is food, all I think about is food, when I go online, Im always reading through the latest diet tip, the latest 'thing' that's gonna solve all my food issues.

NoS worked well for me first time round. I found it quite easy to be compliant with it but my S days were still pretty messed up..because I felt like I was gorging myself with sweets and snacks just cuz I could..and most of the time I didn't even feel like it. But I felt like if I didn't indulge, I would feel sorry for myself midweek and it would backfire.

I then looked at some of my friends who were 'normal' with their food and noticed how they ate the same stuff regardless of whether it was weekday or weekend and if they had the occasional dessert or snack they didn't beat themselves over it. Whereas if I 'accidentally' had a snack on a weekday this would carry on into a frenzy of bingeing.

So I came off NoS, because I wanted to be normal with my food, I didn't want to have all these rules. I wanted to have a brownie on a Weds if I felt like it and forgo it on a Saturday when I didn't want one.

Regardless to say, didn't really work and now I'm back. I don't know what to do anymore. I've been tryign NoS for about 4 weeks now and have yet to have a full good week. I'm so sick of all this, if anyone could suggest any 'magical'mods, that would be helpful. I just want to be normal again.

N.B I'm lucky that I'm not actually overweight, because I was really skinny to start with before all this food trouble started. I would like to lose about five-ten pounds just to tone up, but at this point I'd be happy at whatever weight as long as I'm happy and rid of food issues.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm just so frustrated.

[sophiasapientia]

I then looked at some of my friends who were 'normal' with their food and noticed how they ate the same stuff regardless of whether it was weekday or weekend and if they had the occasional dessert or snack they didn't beat themselves over it .

I'm really sorry that you're struggling. I suspect a lot of us have been there. I know I have.

One of the keys for me recently has been finding some good "dietary defaults," just like you say your friends eat the same stuff all the time and like Reinhard has his "optimized oatmeal." If you can find a few enjoyable, simple, filling options for a couple of your meals and use those as defaults, it might take the focus off food a little. I usually eat the same thing for breakfast each morning and I've been eating a big bowl of homemade veggie-based soup with a hunk of bread for lunch most N days. It makes No S a lot easier. I don't need to think about what I'm eating for breakfast or lunch. I make it in advance, heat it up and enjoy. Then I have a plate of whatever I'm making my family for dinner.

The thing with "dietary defaults" is that they are not rules. If you want to have something different on a given day, for whatever reason, no problem. If you get tired of your default, you can change it at any time.

HTH!

[ShannahR]

Well the good news is that you want to do No S and you have stuck with it despite the failures, which tells me you are motivated. I would try a slow build up plan. You are doing great with Monday and Tuesday so keep that up! This week I would really focus on Wednesday. Have your goal for this week be to keep Wednesday green. Do whatever you need to do to make that goal...eat your 3 meals (big plates), drink caloric liquids in between (milk, juice, whatever) so that you aren't hungry. Then try your best on Thursday and Friday to have N days but don't beat yourself up if you don't make it, just try your best and forgive yourself for any failures. Then have normal S days on the weekend. Then the week after that focus on Thursday. This might take a while but I think that you might be less overhelmed if you just tried to add one day at a time to your habit.
You can do this!

[oliviamanda]

I think that's a great idea to know what you are going to eat for breakfast and lunch. In your case, a more strict approach like that might help you not derail.

You said you only have a small amount to lose and you just want to tone up. I hate to say the E word, but since I didn't see you mention it, have you incorporated it into your daily routine? Exercise, I mean. You lose weight most when you burn more calories than you consume, apparently.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. It's okay to enjoy food and think about. But put that to good use. Cooking is very theraputic. I used to work with people and all we talked about was what we ate and what restaurant we were going to, exchanging recipes, etc. It's something we all do, we all eat. Try to get your mind on other things, like taking a jog or walk.

[Cold7Play7]

I've had a very similar experience (thinking about food all the time, eating whatever junk is around on S-days because I can, finally going off NoS because of frustration), and I know how annoying it is to look at normal eaters and not be able to have the snack, dessert, whatever. And although I can't say that I have found some magic solution to my messed up relationship with food, just remember:
You will mess up. My first month on NoS (the first time around--I went off it after about 6 months), I had 12 red days! The second month, 5. The third month, two. Now I'm back to NoS, because even if normal eaters can have cookies on Wednesdays, I can't-- I would feel bad or say "what the heck" and eat five. This month I've had a bunch of red days (the Wednesday issue, as you mentioned), but I'm just going to stick with it because what other way of eating is better?
Hope this helps-- and don't beat yourself up if you mess up.

[babyprrr]

Now I'm back to NoS, because even if normal eaters can have cookies on Wednesdays, I can't-- I would feel bad or say "what the heck" and eat five. This month I've had a bunch of red days (the Wednesday issue, as you mentioned), but I'm just going to stick with it because what other way of eating is better?
Hope this helps-- and don't beat yourself up if you mess up.

That really resonated with me...I can't pretend I'm like any 'normal' eater and just have a casual cookie on a weekday, because I know I'll get the feelings of guilt. I'm going to try really really hard to stick to NoS come Monday...today has been ok so far. I've tweaked my eating times a bit by eating earlier and having my last meal of the day before 6...eating too late makes me wanna binge between lunch and dinner. I normally eat with housemates but they're away at the moment so I can make mealtimes suit me better. When they're back and we're eating at 7-7:30 maybe I'll have a glass of milk to keep me going.

Btw, are smoothies off limits? I could do with a smoothie to fill me up if I feel the urge to snack. And how about cereal bars? I only ask because most people I know have one with lunch to fill them up. I used to be satisfied with a sandwich and fruit and lunchtime but recently I've had to supplement with crisps ( really bad!) to satiate me... cereal bars are probably healthier than crisps but are they an S because they tend to be quite sugary??

Thanks for all the responses so far. It's just so nice to come on this board and vent about my food problems....no one apart from my family know about my food issues and bingeing...sometimes I sneak food into my bedroom so that my housemates wont notice that I'm eating a big bowl of cereal after dinner...

[NoelFigart]

Btw, are smoothies off limits? I could do with a smoothie to fill me up if I feel the urge to snack. And how about cereal bars?

I consider a smoothie a meal, since I will have one for breakfast if it's a really busy morning. (And honestly, most of 'em have about as many calories as my normal breakfast, anyway!) Yes, it's liquid, but for ME, it's a meal. Unfortunately, you'll have to make the call for what works for you.

Cereal bars BETWEEN meals are a snacks. A cereal bar on a meal plate is part of a meal. Quoting Our Founder, "Snacks aren't 'what', they're 'when'." If you have cheetos with your lunch, it's lunch. If you have an apple between lunch and dinner, it's a snack. (Are cereal bars really sweet? I've never eaten one, but if they were as sweet as a granola bar, that's sweet enough to be a sweet TO ME. YMMV).

Yes, it seems goofily arbitrary, but think about it a minute. What you WANT is the habit of not eating between meals, and containing yourself to the limit of one-plate meals, right?

Since snacks are whats rather than whens, if, on an N-day there is a non-sweet I've been craving, I really will put a bit of it on my plate at the next meal. Yesterday it was an artichoke. This morning it was toast made from home-made bread.

If I do that between meals, it's a snack.

[dmarie710]

I'm sort of where you are. But, after re-reading the book, I'm ready to truly recommit and be honest with myself. I'm a small female also and don't have much to lose so I think for us, it's really important to stick with the rules all the more. This weekend I'm going to try my hardest to stick to 3 plate meals and add in a dessert or snack and not permasnacking or obsessing about getting as much as I can, cause I'm allowed. We are in this together with many others.

[Clarica]

is the food you eat satisfying?

your questions about is this ok to eat or not make me wonder if you're putting stuff you want on your plate (tasty and satisfying), or if you're eating how you think you should be (healthy and "good"). maybe do a little of both inside your meals, so you don't turn to snacking.

[Kathleen]

babyprrr,

What you wrote is just heart-breaking.

My approach was to allow myself total binges on the weekend. Eventually, the natural consequences of overeating (stomach aches, having to go to bed because I felt so bad) caught up with me, and I stopped eating so much.

I'm free of food obsession. Today is Good Friday, and we Catholics are supposed to fast. It was such a struggle for me that I excused myself for 8 straight years due to being pregnant or nursing. I also simply failed several years.

Now, today, it's easy. I'm used to just tuning out hunger between meals.

Kathleen

[Blithe Morning]

It's been a while since I posted...

I've always been of the opinion that if you are finding No S emotionally hard, then your problem isn't poor habits. I suspect there is some other issue (anxiety? depression? OCD?) that underlies the inability to comply with No S.

Please keep in mind that I am NOT a medical professional so I am not making a diagnosis. Rather I am asking you to consider this behavior in light of your overall mental health and consider whether it might not be time to get some medical attention.

I wish you all the best on this. The anxiety and frustration in your post is almost palpable.

[RJLupin]

You sound like me before I started No S.

The trick I have found is, don't think about "all week." Think about TODAY. If I start thinking "Oh, it's Monday, I have to go all week before I can eat a snack/sweet/etc!" I will feel very down and nervous. Instead I think "I just have to be perfect today" and not worry about tomorrow. Staying on track for one day sounds a lot easier than thinking about a whole week, and I inevitably make it. On Tuesday, I do the same. I just take things one day at a time, and before I know it, it's Saturday.

As to the whole binging on goodies thing (which I have had serious issues with in the past,) on S Days I limit myself to treats outside the home. I never keep any goodies in the house, ever. No chocolate/cookies/ice cream. On the weekends, if I want some kind of sweet thing to eat, I go and get something at a restaurant and eat it there. I might go to the gourmet chocolate place and order one or two truffles and take my time, sitting down, to eat them. Or I'll go out for dinner and have a piece of bread before my meal, or pick up a cookie at the bakery.

During the week, I keep only the things I know I should be eating around. I always have bread, soup, and other easy things I can make into quick meals. I think limiting yourself to a few good things is much easier than trying to work in a lot of variety. Find a few good meals that work, and use them for your N days.

I also agree that you might want to get a consult with a medical professional. It sounds like you might be dealing with something other than just normal dieting issues.

[babyprrr]

Hi, just letting you know this week's been really good so far (fingers crossed!) Today is Wednesday (normally my screwup day), and its nearly dinner time and the day's been green so far!

I've had more 'default' meals, and now breakfast is either cereal or toast, lunch is a sandwich of some sort, and dinner is whatever's in the house. I've also started having whole milk in my coffee instead of semi-skimmed, which has tided me over really well within meals.

I spent my S weekend at a friend's house and it was interesting to see how her and her family ate. She is naturally slim but never seems to be on a diet and she eats quite a lot of sweets! There seemed to be an abundance of cookies/cakes in the house, and everyone was usually offered one after lunch and dinner. There wasn't much snacking ( apart from copious amounts of tea..the kettle was always on!). It just inspired me so much to see this whole slim family with all these sweets and chocolate in the house....yet behaving so NORMALLY.

Anyway I'd just thought I'd share that.

[dmarie710]

babyprrr, that's a very interesting observation. Hopefully that normal behavior around food will become our normal before long. All about habit, right?

[connorcream]

Weight loss only occurs when there is a calorie deficit. The question before you, is how can you create one that is sustainable for life for you?

Best wishes on your journey.

[Too solid flesh]

Congratulations on your successful week, babyprrr.

And congratulations on reaching your first goal, connorcream!

[connorcream]

And congratulations on reaching your first goal, connorcream!

Thank you for your kind wishes.

[MerryKat]

Please stick with it. I was the same as you and I have jumped off of No S more times than I can count. However, I kept coming back because I know in that deep place in my heart and mind that this works and it is the only sensible thing for me.

If you slip up, don't beat yourself up, try and learn to say - oh dear and get straight back to No S. It is not easy, but it does get easier.

Last year I got everything working and even posted on the testimonials page at the begining of this year.

And you know what, my son's birthday and easter happening one weekend after another gave me a great reason to jump again! However, I am picking myself up and moving forward.

Love yourself through this and you can do it - first you need to beat the 'diet' mentality - you are not depriving yourself only delaying the treat / snack.

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

[babyprrr]

Fell off the wagon again. I started fasting for about 16 hours a day which made me feel really good. I enjoyed the feeling of emptiness and not having to think about food.

At one point,I was eating a chocolate bar during my non-fasting period and I didn't even have the urge to have another. I thought I was finally dealing with my binge-eating issues.

But then yesterday came and somehow it all fell apart, maybe I got too complacent, I don't know. But now I find myself trying to squeeze in enough food during my non-fasting hours, and that voice inside my head that tells me to keep eating is back.

So yet again, I'm back on NoS. I might continue the habit of not eating until after twelve or one, because I find not eating in the morning helps me really focus because I'm not constantly thinking about lunchtime. However I am keen to get back to no sweets, no snacks.

This time I've promised myself I'm going to try to stick with this for two weeks, and NOT jump to another plan. If at the end of two weeks, I wanna try something else again I will.

[clarinetgal]

Don't beat yourself up over it. Everybody slips up sometimes (I know I have my fair share of slip ups!). Just vow that tomorrow will be a better day.

[BrightAngel]

Obsessed is what the weak and lazy call the Dedicated.

Here's my Opinion.
Lighten up. Food Obsession is okay.
Personally, I have no desire to reduce my own "food obsession".

I'm the kind of person who really gets into anything I do, any interest I have.
So what if I'm not "normal" around food.
So what if food, and issues around food, are important to me.
So what if I spend a lot of my time thinking about food and/or weight.
I'm not going to waste my life shaming myself because of it.
Food is just as important or interesting as anything else...
....in fact it is the one thing that is vital for life to exist.

Just because a "saying" is old, doesn't make it right..
I think "Eat to Live, not Live to Eat" is just a BS Value Judgment.
It really is just another way for people who don't share my values to negate them.
Am I REALLY going to let that part of Society legislate my morality?
No.

[paulawylma]

Wow, I just went through a lot of the same things you did. I discovered No S last year and was doing great on No S but losing weight slowly and wanted to speed it up. So, I tried cutting back on portions and tried natural eating and discovered that it's really hard to relearn it--I was a thin child until I was introduced to the concept of eating when not hungry by a classmate. I just finished a weight loss contest at work when I tried low carb and low cal again and at the end just lost 2 lousy lbs. I've been back on no S for two weeks now--and have had just one red day --and lost 4 lbs without effort. FYI, my red day was April 15th--tax day, I'm a procrastinator. And that red day was only one S event--not a whole day. So I consider these two weeks a successful restart.

My advice:
1. Start on Thursday or Friday. I didn't do this this time, but I did the first time. If you start on Thursday, then you only have two days to get through until your first exempt day. Enjoy your exempt days and then on Monday, tell yourself that you just had 4 successful days (exempt days are not red days, so they are automatic successes). That helps you get through Mon and Tues and then on Wednesday, you have had 6 successful days and you are not likely to blow it then (unless it's tax day). Then you only have a couple of days left until the weekend.

2. Do plain Vanilla No S. Don't make extra rules. If it's not a sweet and it fits on your plate then you can have it. For example, my dinner tonight was a Stoffer french bread pizza with extra pepperoni and pepper onion mix (I buy the pepperoni ones and then add extra toppings) on a standard plate and then I filled the emply part of the plate with potato chips and added a beer. Ok the beer is MDG 64 but I drink it because I like it not because it's a diet beer. That's a legal No S meal and it's both filling and emotionally satisifying. Remember, it's all about the habit, not the calories or the carbs or even the nutrition. Worry about nutrition after you get the habit.

3. Pick one or two satisfying non-sweet beverages to drink between meals. Beverages don't count as eating in No S. You can have Milk and milk substitutes, 100% fruit juice, coffee, tea and if you are legal age (and it's after work)--beer and wine.

4. If there is something you are tempted by, have it when it's legal to do so. If you are tempted by a non-sweet between meals, wait until your next meal and then have it as part of your meal. If it is a sweet, put it away until the next S day. I have a plastic storage container in the freezer labeled "Treasure Trove"--that's where I put any candy or other sweet that I am tempted by during the week. On S days, I look through it and pick out anything I want. It's actually kind of exciting to place candy in there during the week knowing I'll have fun taking it out of the freezer on the next "S" day.

[clarinetgal]

Very interesting perspective, Bright Angel! I've always felt shame with my obsession with food. I guess I shouldn't, though. I've bee eating much healthier since I found No S.

[BrightAngel]

Very interesting perspective, Bright Angel!
I've always felt shame with my obsession with food.

Acceptance of oneself and one's personal interests apply generally,
in that much of modern Society now has a "live and let live" morality,
or "do what you want, as long as you dont' hurt others" ...
....but it makes a BIG EXCEPTION
about allowing a fat person to feel okay about food and their fat,
and it generally agrees that it's okay
to tell a fat person how they are SUPPOSED to feel and behave,
and to try to shame them into feeling guilty for what is natural to them.

Just watch one episode of the current hit, The Biggest Loser,
and see Society's current value judgments about the obese contestants.
Notice how the obese contestants buy into those negative BELIEFs about themselves,
and how they state their belief that unless they are thin, they have no life.
Notice how they feel they deserve the ill treatment they get on that show,
including severe verbal abuse...and even what I call physical abuse.

Then, when they lose weight, notice how they are encouraged
to become missionaries to the world
and work to convert other fat people to their new beliefs.

Society in general, finds it acceptable for people to be obsessed with
exercise, sports, television shows, video games, hobbies, work, money,
shopping, relationships, family, sex, parenting, vacations, etc. etc. etc.
But, God Forbid, that anyone should feel okay about being obsessed with food.....
ESPECIALLY, if that person is overweight, obese, or very thin...
Only a "normal" sized female can acceptably demonstrate a stong interest in food...
and even that Acceptance is very limited.

[babyprrr]

BrightAngel, what you said really resonated with me too. I no longer make myself feel guilty for thinking about food or planning my meals. So what, its completely natural!

You are right, people are obsessed with so many things like cars, sport, shoes etc. I don't see why we're made to feel guilty about being obsessed with food ( as long as it's in a positive way).

[wosnes]

BrightAngel, what you said really resonated with me too. I no longer make myself feel guilty for thinking about food or planning my meals. So what, its completely natural!

You are right, people are obsessed with so many things like cars, sport, shoes etc. I don't see why we're made to feel guilty about being obsessed with food ( as long as it's in a positive way).

I'd say I think about food nearly every waking hour. I've never considered it a problem because it's planning or remembering something enjoyable. Also, I'm not trying to find a way to eat whatever I'm thinking about right now. Also not thinking about calories or fat grams or carbs or anything else. Just the enjoyment of good food.

I suspect that the only ones making us feel guilty about thinking about food is us. In some other cultures, it's perfectly normal.

[clarinetgal]

Very interesting response, Bright Angel. I'm a normal weight person (some people even say I'm 'tiny'), but I think my guilt over being obsessed with food may come from the fact that I was anorexic back in high school, and I'm guessing some of those anorexic behaviors still linger in me today. I've only seen one episode of the Biggest Loser, and I don't think I'd want to watch that show. Based on how you described that show, they way those people are treated is very heartbreaking.
I would say now that my food obsession has a much more positive side to it. Instead of worrying about calories or fat grams all of the time, I'm more focused on making sure each of my meals are healthy and balanced.

[NoelFigart]

Obsessed is what the weak and lazy call the Dedicated.

Here's my Opinion.
Lighten up. Food Obsession is okay.
Personally, I have no desire to reduce my own "food obsession".

I think it's okay, PERFECTLY OKAY, for you to choose to dedicate as much time as you do to being thin.

But, I would be very, very grateful, indeed, if you do NOT imply I am lazy and weak because I do not put the same amount of dedication into manipulating my body shape, okay? I'm glad you've achieved a difficult goal. I'm not trying to run you down.

But I'd appreciate the same courtesy and respect about my goals, understand? I do No-S BECAUSE I do not want to put that level of energy into being slim. I want to control my eating habits, and let my body do what it's going to do.

Different goals =/ lazy or weak.

[BrightAngel]

Obsessed is what the weak and lazy call the Dedicated.

I would be very, very grateful, indeed, if you do NOT imply I am lazy and weak
because I do not put the same amount of dedication into manipulating my body shape, okay?
But I'd appreciate the same courtesy and respect about my goals, understand?
Different goals =/ lazy or weak.

Noel, that Quote is not mutually-exclusive to food issues.
Dedicated, not Obsessed, could be an extreme interest and focus on Anything at all.

Terming someone as "Obsessed" is generally a negative value judgment
concerning the extreme interest and focus of another,
while terming such behavior as "Dedicated" is generally a positive value judgment.

The above quote simply returns another negative value judgment label...
..."weak and lazy" back onto those people
who label a person with an extreme interest and focus: "Obsessed".

I don't believe the quote implies disrespect to those with differing goals,
and I see the quote as very simple and clear,
so I find it surprising to see such an interpetation.

[NoelFigart]

I don't believe the quote implies disrespect to those with differing goals,
and I see the quote as very simple and clear,
so I find it surprising to see such an interpetation.[/color]

Weak and lazy is disrespectful language, and it encourages a smug and self-satisfied attitude.

I'm not ragging on you, personally. Please understand and I don't want to hurt your feelings or be disrespectful to you in any way. It's that labeling like that can be dangerous, whether it's about weight loss, being able to pump iron, or being able to learn several languages. (And if you want smug, listen to a group of very intelligent people who haven't learned empathy talk about great unwashed masses sometime!)

I grok the frustration when you've accomplished a goal or learned a skill and get negative behavior that is motivated by envy. I sew all my own clothes, and can do several other things that will get an "Oh, I couldn't do that" response. Or WORSE, "Must be nice to have the time to learn that."

It's EASY to get angry and reactive to it, turning it into a rather defensive pride. I could be wrong, but I am reading in your posts a great deal of frustration at public reaction to your goals and the level of focus they take (I could be off base, but that's how it reads to me).

[BrightAngel]

I don't believe the quote implies disrespect to those with differing goals,
and I see the quote as very simple and clear,
so I find it surprising to see such an interpetation.

.... I could be wrong, but I am reading in your posts....

I see that a Quote that I very much like, and quoted within this Thread
has somehow deeply touched you in a negative way.
This was not my intention.

With all due respect,...
....regarding me, my motivations and my attitude, you are wrong.
However, I have no need to convince you otherwise.
This is a forum where each of us is free to express our thoughts,
you have the right to yours, just as I have the right to mine.

Although I have not in any way attacked you personally by sharing my thoughts in general,
I feel that you have responded to me personally in quite a negative way.
At this time, I think it would be best for us to both end this dialogue between us.
This will be my last post to you on the subject within this Thread.
If you think a personal conversation between us would be helpful,
please feel free to PM me.

[babyprrr]

All of us on NoS have similar goals: losing/maintaining weight and being healthy, just different ways of reaching them.

Anyway, I did some random calculations. I gained six pounds in the last 6 months, and am at my heaviest ever. 6 pounds is a lot on a 5'4" frame.

To have done this I only needed to consume an extra ~100 calories a day . 100!!

This shows what a difference hidden calories can make. The healthy yogurt snack I have between lunch and dinner ( 100 calories). An S day binge. The calories all add up.

I've decided to get back to regular exercise at least 3 times a week, because as you can see, overeating by 100 calories a day is something very easy to do. It is near impossible to lose weight or even maintain it without some form of exercise, unless you starve yourself.

The calculations have also made me see that every calorie counts. So even if I leave two mouthfuls of food on my dinner plate instead of wiping the plate clean, it still counts.

[BrightAngel]

I am making one more final post on this subject
because of a PM I received from a different forum member,
who also strongly objected to the terms "weak and lazy"
which are inside a famous statement that I quoted in a prior post.

Everyone doesn't appreciate the same kind of humor,
and everyone doesn't "get" every joke.
The famous saying:

"Obessed is what the weak and lazy call the Dedicated"

as an amusing, rather clever "return put-down" to negative people
who label those with an excessive interest and focus in any subject
as "Obsessed".

The point of the quoted statement is that terming anyone "Obsessed" is totally unacceptable.

In this saying,
the negative label: "lazy and weak" only applies to those people
who GIVE the negative label "Obsessed"
instead of a positive label like "Dedicated".
i.e. IF YOU THINK I'm "obsessed", THEN I THINK you're "weak and lazy".

I can see how someone who feels it's acceptable to refer to someone as "obsessed",
could be offended by the return insult "weak and lazy",
however, I don't see why anyone else would be offended
by a statement which simply returns one insult for another in an amusing way.

I didn't create that famous saying, I merely quoted it.
It is, however, one of my favorites. I think it's funny, and I like it.
Probably because I've dealt with negative people who term a strong focus as "obsessed".
It could be that some people have to actually have that experience
before fully appreciating the "black" humor within the statement.

The saying is essentially an amusing twist of semantics,
and like any kind of humor...
if one just doesn't "get" a particular joke,
an explanation of that joke still doesn't make it funny to the one needing the explanation.

[connorcream]

"Obessed is what the weak and lazy call the Dedicated"

I have had a lot going on the past few days (all centered around food of some sort) and haven't been able to post. But I have been mulling it over.

This quote is one of my all time favorites, others can have different ones, because it has helped me attain incredible successes. My dad liked it and found it meaningful for him.

BA, I feel like a harpy always agreeing with you, but so be it. I have really been thinking about your thoughts on eat to live or live to eat. Something that has been thrown around a lot in my DH's family. It always bothered me but I didn't know why really.

You clear, precise, post showed me the value judgement I was reacting negatively to. Living to eat is perfectly fine. We do copious amounts of traveling and always spin in a history component. Most recent was visiting Carmel Mission and surrounding areas. Thinking, planning, planting, storing food has been part of the human condition regardless if there were times of plenty or not, regardless of locale or not. To act like food has no attraction seems counter to this pattern.

Best wishes to one and all.

[leafy_greens]

Paula, your tresure trove idea is amazing... But I'm new to No S and can't be trusted with one yet.

Bright Angel, I really appreciate your comments about people negating your values. I think that non-food-obsessed people can really act holier-than-thou. Sometimes my own food obsession isn't taken seriously, due to my status as a "skinny fat person."

But I don't want to feel like my obsession is normal. I want to be completely rid of it one day. I admire Kathleen so much and how she has overcome her obsession.