Miserable failure

[Poptart]

I love this message board, think you guys are great and envy your adherance to this wonderful way of life. I know in my head it is the right way, my poor abused body longs for the control and moderation this would bring, and yet I can't even manage to adhere to it even one day. I feel like an out of control addict. I am definitaly a sugar and starch addict, yet atkins style diets make my belly ache. Fast food is my addiction, which i believe is really not the taste so much but the sugar/fat/salt combo. Why do I crave something so badly that is so bad for my body. I actually look forward to the times I know I will be able to go to McDonalds and indulge, and for the life of me have not been able to stop it. I'm not being a child saying "i want it and I'm having it" it's more like a nagging, constant, and powerful craving that I usually have no luck fighting, and i can actually say that after pigging out on this junk I am actually left feeling calmer, relaxed, happier, like thats what i needed. i always tell myself that this is the last time for the double cheeseburger, large fries dipped in ranch, but it never really is the last. I am feeling desperate, wanted to reach out and let you know I will be hanging out here and reading all your wisdom. thanks for being here. ~Kim

[idontknow]

hello and welcome. It's so easy to get addicted to certain types of food - mine is chocolate and sweets! There's a really good post somewhere on the boards where one member has successfully introduced one habit at a time. I've been looking for it but can't find it - maybe someone else knows where it is?? That might be a way forward for you.
Also - there's no reason why you have to give up the fast food. The first step on this plan is to establish the habit of regular meals with no snacks, sweets or seconds. Most people on here probably want to eat healthily, but that's not one of the rules. That could be something you establish later. I know that fast food makes me hungry - but if it keeps you full until the next meal then go with it for the time being.
I've only been doing this a couple of weeks, so probably don't have the best advice. There are lots of people on here who will have fantastic suggestions on how to move forwards. One thing is certain though - you will get brilliant encouragement and support and hopefully you will start to feel less desperate.
Spend some time reading the posts on all the boards - they are really useful. Take care and keep checking in for the contact - it does really help.

[Kathleen]

" i always tell myself that this is the last time for the double cheeseburger, large fries dipped in ranch, but it never really is the last."

No S isn't about denial. It's about delay. You can have anything you want on S Days!

Kathleen

[Nay]

Poptart, although fast foods aren't the best for your body, as long as you 1)eat only a plateful, 2) don't take seconds, and 3) don't have sweets (like a milkshake), you are following no S.

Plenty of people here have started out by only modifying the times they eat (3 meals a day) and by only having sweets on S days. After building the main habits, some go on to modify WHAT they eat as well, but that will be up to you.

Build no S habits first, then worry about the exact type of food to eat.

[butterfly1000]

It's not easy to change old habits, and I too am often tempted to say I'll start again tomorrow (and sometimes I do, and then I pig out and end up feeling terrible). But like it was mentioned in one of the replies above, we can have our sweets and whatever else we want, on S days -- and that's what I try to keep in my mind when I have cravings -- I also try to think of how good the next meal will taste if I'm not full from the junk in between. I haven't yet succeeded in having many successful days in a row, but I figure that if I'm successful in one day or one meal at a time it's still better than it would be if I weren't doing No-S. Take one step at a time -- you can do it!

[oolala53]

Don't be upset with yourself because these foods seem to have such a hold on you. They are meant to! Some people are more susceptible than others. It sounds like you are aware that you are not actually hungry-stomach empty hungry- when you get them. But it doesn't mean you can't get some control over time. In fact, it would be better not to ban them completely if you think there is much of a chance that you will ever eat them again.

I noticed even before No S that my time for strongest craving was when I wasn't actually hungry, about 2-3 hours after a meal. I realized that if I could suffer through another 1-3 hours, I would probably be legitimately hungry and could have a meal. I also got honest with myself about how intolerable the cravings felt. Were they like a poke in the eye? A toothache? Headache? It would be almost easier if they were incapacitating, but they're not. But they are not really painful or even terrible, just really annoying because they seem so vague yet so nagging. Just start telling yourself they ARE tolerable and try to delay eating by an hour at a time. I very much recommend forcing yourself to eat more slowly, too. See if you can NOT finish all the food. Cut out a third of the burger and take out a third of the fries. If you don't want to chuck them, wrap them up and put them in the trunk of the car before you start to eat.


I don't think you need to do all of these at once. You don't have to be in a hurry to get this down. Start believing that it is only a matter of time and you can afford to experiment slowly weaning yourself so that you are eating less at a sitting and increasing the gap between meals. I failed many times before my first 21 days, and many times after before I started this recent 19 weeks of mostly green and yellow days. I am still figuring out S days. Stick with us! It is worth every second of difficulty!

[Starla]

Welcome, Kim! You are being way too hard on yourself!

First of all, as Nay said, you can eat burgers and fries on No S. You should unwrap them, put them on a plate, and see how much you'e actually eating, but you DON'T have to tell yourself you will never eat them again.

Secondly, telling yourself you're an "addict" does not help you - it makes you powerless. You may really enjoy McDonald's, you may have learned to use McDonald's as a way not to deal with other things ("after pigging out on this junk I am actually left feeling calmer, relaxed, happier, like thats what i needed"). But you're not addicted.

This way of eating is all about taking gradual steps until moderation becomes a habit. Maybe your first step is ordering a regular cheeseburger and small fries the next time you go to McDonalds.

Being able to break free of the denial-binge-denial cycle is one of the best things about No S. I think most diets attack the cycle at the binge level - they want you to deny, deny, deny, deny (just don't binge). No S, on the other hand, attacks the cycle on the denial side - you can eat hamburgers, fries, chocolate, candy, cookies - WHATEVER your weakness is, as long as you eat it on a plate or on an S day. So give yourself permission to eat your fast food in a regulated way. Stop making it the forbidden fruit and giving it so much power over your life.

Good luck with this - you can do it!

[Poptart]

thanks so much to all of you for your thoughtful and very helpful replies. it only reinforced to me that this really is the way i want to live. when i read all your suggestions that i don't have to say goodbye to my favorite stuff, it seems that i have been on so many different 'diets' it just didnt occur to me that i could actually have stuff i like. makes so much sense because if i wake up and say 'no more cheeseburgers' and eat something light and lo-cal at lunch, i'll be danged if i dont stop by the drive thru anyhow because my taste buds really wanted something else and now i have eaten 2 lunches when had i just got a c-burger i would have been perfectly satisfied. I knew this was how the plan worked but my brain just didnt register that part, to different from the past. Not having to say goodbye to anything...just adjust when, and how much...i think i can do that! thanks again for the encouragment. ~Kim

[vmelo]

I understand completely how you are feeling---i.e., that "addicted" feeling. I feel that way about sweets, so in one way, you are better off since you can actually make your cravings work within No-S guidelines as some others here have suggested.

I seem to graze all day, and I eat sweets several times a day. I can't seem to control myself. I feel exactly as you do afterward----content, almost happy. But then I hate myself for having no control.

I don't have any advice to add to what others here have already said. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

[oolala53]

vmelo, I hope you are at least getting some relief on N days. hang on! It's worth it.

[vmelo]

Thanks for the good wishes, oolala53. Unfortunately, I can't even seem to stick to this (or any) plan for more than a day---so every day is an "N" day. The only good thing I'm sticking to right now is a regular walking routine---2.5 - 5 miles per day, every day.

I need to get it together with my eating.

[DaveMc]

This way of eating is all about taking gradual steps until moderation becomes a habit. Maybe your first step is ordering a regular cheeseburger and small fries the next time you go to McDonalds.

I'd definitely agree about the gradual steps. That's what makes NoS work for so many people: you can take a series of steps that seem manageable, and eventually you're habitually eating moderately!

I'd just add, though, that if step 1 is cutting down to a smaller portion at McDonalds, then step ZERO is just limiting yourself to three meals a day, regardless of what those meals are. One of the hardest, but also most important, things is to get into the habit of not eating at random times. If it takes some large meals for a while to establish that habit, it's worth it in the long run. Once you've got that pattern down, you may start to realize that you can actually do with less at each meal ... gradual steps!

I do still eat fast food on N days -- not very often, but I don't count it as a failure if I do. I'd join the others here in advising you to focus on *when* you eat, first, and leave *what* for a later stage.

One thing that may, oddly enough, be a comfort: NoS is *hard*, at first. If you're in the habit of snacking all day, giving that up is a real jolt, and those first weeks or months are a real struggle for almost everyone. But it gets easier. Eventually, it gets to be just the way you eat.

Best of luck!

[ksbrowne]

Hi Poptart and vmelo,
Some people do better with a more gradual approach! I'd suggest tackling one of the S' at a time and start with the one that sounds the easiest to you. And give yourself plenty of time.

Changing your eating habits is HARD! It was for me. Going cold turkey just didn't work. I was too addicted. So, I've been gradually molding my eating habits over the past year. I'm still not perfect, but I'm WAAAAYYY better than I was. I still have one or two very small sweet treats every day. But that is so much less than I used to eat, (and I"ve lost 22 pounds), that I don't in any way view it as a failure.

Junk food is addictive! Give yourself a break. Anything that is too hard for you to give up, don't, for now. Later it may become a lot easier. Give up what you can. Your body will start adjusting to less food and less junk.

One thing I did was to tackle one snack at a time. I changed from a sweet snack (candy bar), to something non-sweet, like Doritos. Later Doritos got changed to a handful of peanuts. Then it was peanuts, but only if I was truly hungry. Then I cut that snack out entirely.

Eventually you'll find yourself doing NoS without any trouble. Hard to believe, I know.

[fb22]

Junk food is addictive!

Well put!

I'm sure that they make it that way. I wouldn't be surprised that, down the road, they find out that the junk-food manufacturers make their products addictive in the same way that the cigarette manufacturers went about increasing the addictive potential of theirs.

Cheers!

Frank

[oolala53]

In The End of Overeating, it was revealed that food processers do indeed adjust the ratio of fat, sugar, and salt in order to override the brain's natural capacity to sense when a person has eaten enough. Obviously, not everyone's brain is calibrated the same, as some are not susceptible, but the habits of a great many Americans make it obvious the strategy does work with the majority without conscious intervention. Once again, thank you Reinhard.

[BrightAngel]

I will be hanging out here and reading all your wisdom.

I think that it is important to stay focused on one's own goals during any kind of endeavor.
It is so very easy to mistake the goals of others for our own, even when they are not really ours at all.

For example...
One could want to lose weight, and is attracted to No S Diet as a way to do this.
Since that diet is based on "moderation", while using the Habit concept,
these become adopted goals tagged onto the weight-loss goal.

However when posting on a weight-loss forum, one becomes exposed to additional goals of others,
such as eating "healthy", eating "locally", eating less meat, avoiding "processed foods", avoiding "junk foods",
exercising, marathon running, weight-training, etc. etc. etc.

It could be that some of these goals of others align with one's own goals,
but it could also be that these goals of others are merely "added" goals,
and are not one's personal Goals.

We are not all the same.
Although the majority of us here have weight-loss goals,
and/or the goal of establishing the Habit of eating with "moderation",
We don't all agree on exactlly what that means,
nor do we all have the same goals defining what foods to eat.

When reading forum posts,
and discussing food issues,
I think it's valuable to continually ask oneself...
....Is that particuar way of eating, or other behavior, really one of MY Goals?

[audiomama]

I signed up just to tell you this story...
Early in no-s a friend invited me to McD. I considered a salad, but I _wanted_ a quarter pounder with fries. So I ordered the QP and small fry-- it was my meal and it fit on a plate. My friend had salad with dressing and cheese, plus some of her kids' fries, she also had a snack before so she could "resist temptation"... in the end mine was actually fewer calories and far more satisfying.

From reading your other posts, I support you in trying to get to three meals a day as your first step. That was mine; once I controlled "when" it was amazIng how easy it was to refine "what" I ate.

Srsly good luck!

[connorcream]

When reading forum posts,
and discussing food issues,
I think it's valuable to continually ask oneself...
....Is that particuar way of eating, or other behavior, really one of MY Goals?

Another great post saved for future reading. I wish I had adhered to this counsel 2 years ago.

[connorcream]

I signed up just to tell you this story...
Early in no-s a friend invited me to McD. I considered a salad, but I _wanted_ a quarter pounder with fries. So I ordered the QP and small fry-- it was my meal and it fit on a plate. My friend had salad with dressing and cheese, plus some of her kids' fries, she also had a snack before so she could "resist temptation"... in the end mine was actually fewer calories and far more satisfying.

From reading your other posts, I support you in trying to get to three meals a day as your first step. That was mine; once I controlled "when" it was amazIng how easy it was to refine "what" I ate.

Srsly good luck!

I ate at McDonalds just today on the way back from Florida, 9 day trip. My salad dinner, Southwestern, was 421, I splurged on the dressing for 100 calories. Your dinner was 762 calories. That is a huge difference, regardless if it fits on a plate or not, for achieving a calorie deficit in my world. I am assuming no calorie drinks. I had water.

I was perfectly satisfied because I am enjoying my small fit body in my cute jeans trotting all over the state of FL.

[oolala53]

I think the point is it's easier to make the choices when you know you will be satisfied, and it's good to be sensitive to what is necessary to be satisfied. Another person might be happy and content ordering the burger and fries and stopping when full-about 1/2 way through the meal, which would likely create a calorie deficit. And a person might eat less at the next meal. I also think as time goes on a fair number of people start having more of a balance of rich and not-rich foods. Some of them do it instinctively and some more purposefully because they are not getting the loss they want. Then there are others who don't change the foods they eat, don't necessarily lose a lot of weight, but are still happy with the rhythm of 3 meals a day and "free" weekends. No S supports a lot of different ways of getting to contentment.

[clarinetgal]

vmelo, I just wanted to say I empathize with your struggles with eating junk food. I've been going through the same thing right now. I've been tired and my allergies have been really bothering me, so I think I've been using the sweets as an energy boost. Also, like the OP, I always feel a lot calmer when I eat sweets. Anyway, I'm going to start doing baby steps to get myself back to a healthier way of eating. My goal for tomorrow will be to stick with 3 meals (which isn't too much of a problem for me) and no sweets. If I focus just on tomorrow, it should be easier. Good job on the walking, by the way!

[operababe]

I'm a food addict too, so I hear you loud and clear. For me, I make sure I have protein with every meal and I avoid all carbs at lunch time. So I have cereal/toast with breakfast and grains with dinner. I have managed to get off all sugars except for fruit that I have with breakfast and lunch, and I feel much better. The cravings have gone.

I think it's the sugar that sets up addiction. It was on the news just a couple of weeks ago how sugar is addictive.

I wish you all the best, we all struggle in this world of easy access to junk food and fast food.

[connorcream]

No S supports a lot of different ways of getting to contentment.

Maybe I missed something, certainly not the first time, but I didn't see half sized portions mentioned. It is the mystical 1 plate that I think needs to really be thought about as if 1 plate suspends the laws of science. Goodness knows, I fell for it with disasterous results. I would hate to see the same thing happen to others.

[clarinetgal]

operababe, What does a typical lunch look like for you, if you're not eating carbs (besides fruit)? I'm just curious.

Connorcream, I think you're right that portion control is DEFINITELY important.