Please do you have any suggestions for getting through stressful times successfully with NoS? We all have challenging times in life, and I would guess that the ability to get through these without gaining weight is a big factor in determining success at losing or maintaining weight.
One thing that helps me is to do as Reinhard suggests, and stick to the structure of NoS while eating larger quantities at mealtimes if necessary. Do you have any tricks or habits which work for you when things are challenging?
Your tips for difficult times
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
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Too solid flesh
- Posts: 639
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:22 pm
- Location: England
Your tips for difficult times
Be kind, for everybody you meet is fighting a hard battle.
I do the same as you - I stick to the structure of No S, but my plates may be larger and less healthy. I may not lose weight, and I may feel like my eating is somewhat chaotic, but at least it's controlled chaos.
I also try to be more mindful of other ways to cope with stress - take a hot bath or listen to music if I can.
And finally, I think No S forced me to actually deal with the smaller stresses instead of eating my way through them, and I find I'm much more able to handle the larger ones now. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you devote your energy to coping with a problem instead of using food to ignore it.
I hope your difficult time gets better.
I also try to be more mindful of other ways to cope with stress - take a hot bath or listen to music if I can.
And finally, I think No S forced me to actually deal with the smaller stresses instead of eating my way through them, and I find I'm much more able to handle the larger ones now. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you devote your energy to coping with a problem instead of using food to ignore it.
I hope your difficult time gets better.
Last edited by Starla on Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I am going through a stressful time right now - you can read my daily thread for details if you like - and am finding the No-S structure really HELPS.
But my habits were pretty strongly in place before all of this hit. I am grateful that following No-S has been fairly automatic during this time.
It helps because...
- I eat meals. Period. They can be junky if I have limited choices. They can be small if I don't feel like much. But... they're meals. That's good. Under stress, it's important to attend to basic health habits.
- I don't eat snacks. I used to stress-eat a lot, and did do that one S-day when I was at the hospital with mom all day... and felt grateful that that has NOT been the pattern overall. In the long run, a ton of sugar/junk would only drive down my energy levels and make me feel worse and cope less well.
- Because it's so simple, I don't have to think too much about it. A lot of other things I was tracking have gone down the tubes, and if I were counting points/calories/carbs... well, I wouldn't.
Under extreme stress, I always try to cut back other obligations as much as I can and focus on "things that matter." Health basics and relationships are high on that list. Health basics = sleep, some exercise (even if VERY minimal), and eating as decently as I can manage. No-S (and associated habits) are a major assist with those goals.
But my habits were pretty strongly in place before all of this hit. I am grateful that following No-S has been fairly automatic during this time.
It helps because...
- I eat meals. Period. They can be junky if I have limited choices. They can be small if I don't feel like much. But... they're meals. That's good. Under stress, it's important to attend to basic health habits.
- I don't eat snacks. I used to stress-eat a lot, and did do that one S-day when I was at the hospital with mom all day... and felt grateful that that has NOT been the pattern overall. In the long run, a ton of sugar/junk would only drive down my energy levels and make me feel worse and cope less well.
- Because it's so simple, I don't have to think too much about it. A lot of other things I was tracking have gone down the tubes, and if I were counting points/calories/carbs... well, I wouldn't.
Under extreme stress, I always try to cut back other obligations as much as I can and focus on "things that matter." Health basics and relationships are high on that list. Health basics = sleep, some exercise (even if VERY minimal), and eating as decently as I can manage. No-S (and associated habits) are a major assist with those goals.
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levictoria
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:25 pm
- Location: Minnesota
I am pretty new to this, but I too am right now going through a stressful time. It would be easy to drown myself in cookies, or late night eating with my husband, but I've found something else that helps. Milk.
I know this sounds so simple, but this works for me. When I'm craving something out of stress, and I really want a snack, I have a glass of 2% milk. It tastes great, and it's calming, maybe because it reminds me of childhood. Sometimes I'll even put it in the microwave. This has helped me avoid some not so pleasant situations.
One other thing that I just thought of is exercise. I've taken up the C25K program and it has helped me tremendously to keep my emotions in check.
I know this sounds so simple, but this works for me. When I'm craving something out of stress, and I really want a snack, I have a glass of 2% milk. It tastes great, and it's calming, maybe because it reminds me of childhood. Sometimes I'll even put it in the microwave. This has helped me avoid some not so pleasant situations.
One other thing that I just thought of is exercise. I've taken up the C25K program and it has helped me tremendously to keep my emotions in check.
Victoria
Starting Weight 204.6
Starting Date Aug 24, 2017
Current 200.4
Total: -4.2
Starting Weight 204.6
Starting Date Aug 24, 2017
Current 200.4
Total: -4.2
I started NoS about a month before a really high stress period at work. So I'd had a little bit of time to build habits, but not a lot.
Being a stress eater, I was really sure I was going to gain weight, but resolved to try to stick to NoS anyhow.
Some things that I found that worked for me:
1. Telling my husband what I was doing and asking him not to offer me food or sweets on weekdays, removing some of the temptation. It's also what got him started on NoS.
2. Taking a minute each morning to remind myself that I *could* do this. Not just the diet, but the super stressful defense that I was in preparation for. It wasn't anything official, I just made sure to remind myself that it's a process, it's a one day at a time thing, and that one more good day was one day closer to my goals. I also tried to focus on the people that believed in me, even when I didn't really believe in myself, to help manage my stress.
3. Taking a minute each night before bed to reflect on the day. I mostly reflected on work - what was done, what still needed to be done, what the next steps were and how to take them (again to help manage the stress), but I also tried to reflect on how good it felt to be able to say it was a successful N day. Which encouraged me to do another successful N day the next day.
4. I scaled back my goals and expectations. I told myself that I wasn't worried about losing weight, I just wanted to not gain any for the two months and focus on maintaining the habits. I ended up losing weight, but making it officially not a goal took a lot of the added stress off.
5. I tried to stay away from the kitchen and snacks and food as much as possible. When I had that snacky urge, I fixed myself a glass of water with a squirt of lemon juice. Or I'd take a quick shower. Or I'd take a 5 minute study break to play with the cats, walk around the block, play a silly online game, do something other than go into the kitchen and get a snack.
6. Ok this one is going to make me sound nuts (and I probably am nuts...) but I used my right hand to control my left. There were several times when #5 failed and I found myself opening the refrigerator or cupboard to get out a snack. I would actually grab my left hand which was opening the cupboard or grabbing food with my right hand and pull it back. And would tell myself "no". Something about actually pulling my hand away really made me feel in control and helped me resist temptation - and feel good about it.
Being a stress eater, I was really sure I was going to gain weight, but resolved to try to stick to NoS anyhow.
Some things that I found that worked for me:
1. Telling my husband what I was doing and asking him not to offer me food or sweets on weekdays, removing some of the temptation. It's also what got him started on NoS.
2. Taking a minute each morning to remind myself that I *could* do this. Not just the diet, but the super stressful defense that I was in preparation for. It wasn't anything official, I just made sure to remind myself that it's a process, it's a one day at a time thing, and that one more good day was one day closer to my goals. I also tried to focus on the people that believed in me, even when I didn't really believe in myself, to help manage my stress.
3. Taking a minute each night before bed to reflect on the day. I mostly reflected on work - what was done, what still needed to be done, what the next steps were and how to take them (again to help manage the stress), but I also tried to reflect on how good it felt to be able to say it was a successful N day. Which encouraged me to do another successful N day the next day.
4. I scaled back my goals and expectations. I told myself that I wasn't worried about losing weight, I just wanted to not gain any for the two months and focus on maintaining the habits. I ended up losing weight, but making it officially not a goal took a lot of the added stress off.
5. I tried to stay away from the kitchen and snacks and food as much as possible. When I had that snacky urge, I fixed myself a glass of water with a squirt of lemon juice. Or I'd take a quick shower. Or I'd take a 5 minute study break to play with the cats, walk around the block, play a silly online game, do something other than go into the kitchen and get a snack.
6. Ok this one is going to make me sound nuts (and I probably am nuts...) but I used my right hand to control my left. There were several times when #5 failed and I found myself opening the refrigerator or cupboard to get out a snack. I would actually grab my left hand which was opening the cupboard or grabbing food with my right hand and pull it back. And would tell myself "no". Something about actually pulling my hand away really made me feel in control and helped me resist temptation - and feel good about it.
Finally a diet that I can make a lifestyle!
Started June 2010
6/27/2010 - 226 lbs
10/17/2010 - 203 lbs - 10% weight loss goal!
1/29/2011 - 182 lbs - 2nd 10% weight loss goal!
5/29/2011 - 165 lbs - 3rd 10% weight loss goal! (one more to go)
Started June 2010
6/27/2010 - 226 lbs
10/17/2010 - 203 lbs - 10% weight loss goal!
1/29/2011 - 182 lbs - 2nd 10% weight loss goal!
5/29/2011 - 165 lbs - 3rd 10% weight loss goal! (one more to go)
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Besides, depending on habit, I find that it helps if I:
Exercise. Helps me to cope, mentally & physically. I figure I can do something, even if it's setting the timer for 10 minute segments and walking around the house.
Meal plan. I set aside a small amount of time each week, regardless of what is going on, to make a meal plan and then do my grocery shopping accordingly. This saves me sooo much time & $$$. Then I don't have to think about what I'm cooking/eating, I can look at my meal plan and go on autopilot.
I also like to always have some homemade dishes, in individual and family-sized portions, in my freezer. Then when things get busy or stressful, I can depend on having some easy, healthy meals that are ready to go. It doesn't take a lot of extra effort. I'll freeze leftovers or make a double batch of a favorite dish and freeze half.
Exercise. Helps me to cope, mentally & physically. I figure I can do something, even if it's setting the timer for 10 minute segments and walking around the house.
Meal plan. I set aside a small amount of time each week, regardless of what is going on, to make a meal plan and then do my grocery shopping accordingly. This saves me sooo much time & $$$. Then I don't have to think about what I'm cooking/eating, I can look at my meal plan and go on autopilot.
I also like to always have some homemade dishes, in individual and family-sized portions, in my freezer. Then when things get busy or stressful, I can depend on having some easy, healthy meals that are ready to go. It doesn't take a lot of extra effort. I'll freeze leftovers or make a double batch of a favorite dish and freeze half.
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
The thing that helps me most is sleep!
I know that during stressful times it seems like you don't have time to sleep, but it's a big help. I get cravings much more easily if I'm tired, add stress on top of that and it's a recipe for disaster. I also use it as a distraction. If it's after dinner and I feel like I'm going to cave in and eat sweets I just go to my room and lay down, even if it is before my normal bedtime. If I fall asleep, good. If it just keeps me away from the kitchen, I'll take that too.
I know that during stressful times it seems like you don't have time to sleep, but it's a big help. I get cravings much more easily if I'm tired, add stress on top of that and it's a recipe for disaster. I also use it as a distraction. If it's after dinner and I feel like I'm going to cave in and eat sweets I just go to my room and lay down, even if it is before my normal bedtime. If I fall asleep, good. If it just keeps me away from the kitchen, I'll take that too.
This version of myself is not permanent, tomorrow I will be different. --BEP
One thing that has helped me is deciding that snacks are just not an option, for any reason. It doesn't matter how stressed I am, who else is eating, or even whether I'm hungry--no snacks on non-S days.
If I'm hungry, which I often am before dinner, I'll have tomato juice, water, or tea. After dinner, I'll either brush my teeth or have more tea or decaf coffee. But more important than these drinks is being so strict about the rule.
One strategy I use is probably unique to my situation. My youngest has severe food allergies, and when I was nursing him I had a diet of about 10 very bland and boring foods. (The only formula he could tolerate was about $800 a month, so that wasn't an option.) There's no better motivation for sticking to a diet--if I cheated even just a little, it would harm my baby. I was able to stick to that diet for over a year. I've been doing no-S for only 11 days, but it's helped me to put my head back in that place and adopt a very black & white attitude about my eating. Although I doubt many of you had the same experience, what anyone can take away from it is that you CAN control your eating if you feel the stakes are high enough.
If I'm hungry, which I often am before dinner, I'll have tomato juice, water, or tea. After dinner, I'll either brush my teeth or have more tea or decaf coffee. But more important than these drinks is being so strict about the rule.
One strategy I use is probably unique to my situation. My youngest has severe food allergies, and when I was nursing him I had a diet of about 10 very bland and boring foods. (The only formula he could tolerate was about $800 a month, so that wasn't an option.) There's no better motivation for sticking to a diet--if I cheated even just a little, it would harm my baby. I was able to stick to that diet for over a year. I've been doing no-S for only 11 days, but it's helped me to put my head back in that place and adopt a very black & white attitude about my eating. Although I doubt many of you had the same experience, what anyone can take away from it is that you CAN control your eating if you feel the stakes are high enough.
Just do your best and don't worry about it. Remember, your best doesn't mean perfection -- just your best at the time.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
That's not nuts Sienna,it's a great tip! I will definitely try it next time I catch myself mindlessly grabbing food on the go or feel like munching on something for the sake of it!Sienna wrote:6. Ok this one is going to make me sound nuts (and I probably am nuts...) but I used my right hand to control my left. There were several times when #5 failed and I found myself opening the refrigerator or cupboard to get out a snack. I would actually grab my left hand which was opening the cupboard or grabbing food with my right hand and pull it back. And would tell myself "no". Something about actually pulling my hand away really made me feel in control and helped me resist temptation - and feel good about it.
Sienna, thanks for the "non-food-related" tips on stress. It reminded me that, for those of us used to stuffing down emotions with food, it's important to expand our coping mechanisms.
On the No-S quote list, someone posted "If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer." In difficult times, hunger is NOT the problem... so the answer needs to address the difficult situation directly OR the stress-response generated by the situtation.
Exercise is good. Sleep is good. But in addition, it's important to look for other strategies for addressing the stress. Meditation/prayer. Walks. Connecting with people you love. Gratitude lists. Time in nature. "Comfort activities" (whatever they may be).
On the No-S quote list, someone posted "If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer." In difficult times, hunger is NOT the problem... so the answer needs to address the difficult situation directly OR the stress-response generated by the situtation.
Exercise is good. Sleep is good. But in addition, it's important to look for other strategies for addressing the stress. Meditation/prayer. Walks. Connecting with people you love. Gratitude lists. Time in nature. "Comfort activities" (whatever they may be).
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Too solid flesh
- Posts: 639
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:22 pm
- Location: England
Thank you, Starla, KCCC, leVictoria, Sienna, sophiasapientia, ShannahR, Kathi, wosnes and OT, for all the thought and time you have put into replying. You have made lots of really helpful points. This thread will be a great resource to come back to in future, as well as as being a support just now.
I'm in the fortunate position that nothing major is wrong, just a demanding period at work which will settle down, and your wise comments are making things easier.
Thank you.
I'm in the fortunate position that nothing major is wrong, just a demanding period at work which will settle down, and your wise comments are making things easier.
Thank you.
Be kind, for everybody you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Dear Too Solid Flesh,
I'm sorry to hear you've having a stressful time -- I can certainly relate! I had something pretty close to a nervous breakdown last year due to work stress (the worst part was crippling insomnia, which I'd never experienced at all before). I managed to keep no-s and shovelglove compliance high, and I think I would have even been in far worse shape physically and spiritually if I hadn't, for the reasons people have already outlined above. (though I have to admit, my stress was more of the "lose your appetite" variety, so it didn't take any great heroics to resist comestible temptation). I did get majorly off track with my daily tasks lists, however, partly because the nature of what I had to do every day changed so quickly and dramatically that it took me a few months to figure out sensible new routines, but mostly because I was so throbbing with stress and anxiety that I just couldn't deal. But I think it wouldn't have taken me as long to get back on track (which I am, thankfully, completely now, and then some) if I'd managed to keep up my daily tasks cards through that dark time.
So yes, I certainly do think no-s and the other everyday systems are a help during stressful times, and one should resist the temptation to abandon them, but they're not going solve the root problem of your anxiety. What I did find enormously helpful towards that latter end was simply talking to people, taking risks and really opening up about my difficulties, even to people I didn't know all that well. It is a risk, because a lot of the time these conversations are embarrassing and painful and all you feel at the end is exposed, but every once in a while you hit gold, sometimes where you least expect it. I was surprised at how many people I spoke to had gone through similar experiences, people who I never would have expected judging by their seemingly unflappable togetherness, and could listen and advise with deep sympathy and knowledge.
Best wishes for a speedy way out of your current difficulties and may you be even stronger and wiser at the end of it,
Reinhard
I'm sorry to hear you've having a stressful time -- I can certainly relate! I had something pretty close to a nervous breakdown last year due to work stress (the worst part was crippling insomnia, which I'd never experienced at all before). I managed to keep no-s and shovelglove compliance high, and I think I would have even been in far worse shape physically and spiritually if I hadn't, for the reasons people have already outlined above. (though I have to admit, my stress was more of the "lose your appetite" variety, so it didn't take any great heroics to resist comestible temptation). I did get majorly off track with my daily tasks lists, however, partly because the nature of what I had to do every day changed so quickly and dramatically that it took me a few months to figure out sensible new routines, but mostly because I was so throbbing with stress and anxiety that I just couldn't deal. But I think it wouldn't have taken me as long to get back on track (which I am, thankfully, completely now, and then some) if I'd managed to keep up my daily tasks cards through that dark time.
So yes, I certainly do think no-s and the other everyday systems are a help during stressful times, and one should resist the temptation to abandon them, but they're not going solve the root problem of your anxiety. What I did find enormously helpful towards that latter end was simply talking to people, taking risks and really opening up about my difficulties, even to people I didn't know all that well. It is a risk, because a lot of the time these conversations are embarrassing and painful and all you feel at the end is exposed, but every once in a while you hit gold, sometimes where you least expect it. I was surprised at how many people I spoke to had gone through similar experiences, people who I never would have expected judging by their seemingly unflappable togetherness, and could listen and advise with deep sympathy and knowledge.
Best wishes for a speedy way out of your current difficulties and may you be even stronger and wiser at the end of it,
Reinhard
Reinhard,
Glad you are through that time. Insomnia is the worst, isn't it? Lowers your coping ability so much. (I got that about 2 years ago, when my job was evaporating. Sporadically since - I'm prone to it - but not so bad.)
Thank you for the reflections. This is a difficult time for me for totally different reasons than before, and I've been struggling a bit. My card system - slightly different from yours, but similar - has been neglected for a while, and this is a reminder that it would help me. And I'm really thinking about your "reach out" advice... hard for me to do, but I can see the value.
Too Solid Flesh, thanks again for starting this thread!!
Glad you are through that time. Insomnia is the worst, isn't it? Lowers your coping ability so much. (I got that about 2 years ago, when my job was evaporating. Sporadically since - I'm prone to it - but not so bad.)
Thank you for the reflections. This is a difficult time for me for totally different reasons than before, and I've been struggling a bit. My card system - slightly different from yours, but similar - has been neglected for a while, and this is a reminder that it would help me. And I'm really thinking about your "reach out" advice... hard for me to do, but I can see the value.
Too Solid Flesh, thanks again for starting this thread!!
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stonetoomany
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:27 am
- Location: england
I get stressed.
what is helping me is to make sure to take my vitamins (this helps me but may not be for everyone) and to do some form of relaxing exercise-I do callanetics from an old 80's book. Working the muscles has removed my stress headaches and neck pain which helps.
Camomile tea actually does help. As can regular old tea.
going for a walk or cleaning something really well help. (I love the idea above of setting a timer and wandering round the house)
Also making sure there's good balance and plenty of veggies in my meals help as junk food seems to really affect my mood.
If you have to snack try a drink first, tea,milk, fruit juice even a small glass of red wine. For me a cup of tea normally bridges the gap between lunch and dinner.
after that if you need to move on to a piece of fruit-then onto dried fruit.
"If hunger is not the problem then food is not the answer." I don't know where I got that from-maybe flylady? but it's true.
what is helping me is to make sure to take my vitamins (this helps me but may not be for everyone) and to do some form of relaxing exercise-I do callanetics from an old 80's book. Working the muscles has removed my stress headaches and neck pain which helps.
Camomile tea actually does help. As can regular old tea.
going for a walk or cleaning something really well help. (I love the idea above of setting a timer and wandering round the house)
Also making sure there's good balance and plenty of veggies in my meals help as junk food seems to really affect my mood.
If you have to snack try a drink first, tea,milk, fruit juice even a small glass of red wine. For me a cup of tea normally bridges the gap between lunch and dinner.
after that if you need to move on to a piece of fruit-then onto dried fruit.
"If hunger is not the problem then food is not the answer." I don't know where I got that from-maybe flylady? but it's true.
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Bolliknickers
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:55 am
- Location: UK
HI, I'm pretty new to all this BUT I am not new to stress and eating and punishing myself through food. For me, it helps to exercise. Sorry if that is the last thing you want to hear 
BUT I work in a high- stress job and like Reinhard my way of responding was to NOT eat and when I did it was, well, crap. So I felt worse than ever. So No S is partly about getting routine back in my life and looking after myself. I also stopped running due to the insurmountable work and life stress and that made me worse than ever, so
- I find that any exercise that gets my heart rate up removes the stress. It doesnt matter how much or how little I do- but it really really helps.
- I also acknowledge that by stuffing myself with food, who does it hurt? My boss? No, he carries on in his normal manner. Me? Yes as it triggers massive IBS and weight gain, which wrecks my self esteem even more.
SO I would try really really hard to have at least one routine in your life- and that is three meals a day. End of. If you want, forget the no sweets if it helps? But just one portion- and that is a meal. Then nothing until the next meal time. Take vitamins and supplements if you really feel that nutritionally your meals aren't great when you are stressed. I dont generally agree that we need to take these BUT they will at least ensure that you are getting what you need in that regard and you will feel a sense of looking after yourself a little.
I also enjoy ONE glass of Merlot at dinner after a stressful day lol
I've not done too great a job at managing this over the years, but I really get it now. Look after yourself in non-food ways whenever you can while you are stressed, but have a routine. And if you are going to eat, make it something really fabulous that you enjoy every bite, not rubbish which makes you feel worse.
But don't beat yourself up if you can't always manage this! That is really important too.
Hope that makes sense
Bolli K
BUT I work in a high- stress job and like Reinhard my way of responding was to NOT eat and when I did it was, well, crap. So I felt worse than ever. So No S is partly about getting routine back in my life and looking after myself. I also stopped running due to the insurmountable work and life stress and that made me worse than ever, so- I find that any exercise that gets my heart rate up removes the stress. It doesnt matter how much or how little I do- but it really really helps.
- I also acknowledge that by stuffing myself with food, who does it hurt? My boss? No, he carries on in his normal manner. Me? Yes as it triggers massive IBS and weight gain, which wrecks my self esteem even more.
SO I would try really really hard to have at least one routine in your life- and that is three meals a day. End of. If you want, forget the no sweets if it helps? But just one portion- and that is a meal. Then nothing until the next meal time. Take vitamins and supplements if you really feel that nutritionally your meals aren't great when you are stressed. I dont generally agree that we need to take these BUT they will at least ensure that you are getting what you need in that regard and you will feel a sense of looking after yourself a little.
I also enjoy ONE glass of Merlot at dinner after a stressful day lol
I've not done too great a job at managing this over the years, but I really get it now. Look after yourself in non-food ways whenever you can while you are stressed, but have a routine. And if you are going to eat, make it something really fabulous that you enjoy every bite, not rubbish which makes you feel worse.
But don't beat yourself up if you can't always manage this! That is really important too.
Hope that makes sense
Bolli K