Exception Days

[BrightAngel]

I think:

It is easy to abuse the concept of Exception days
when one combines Exception Days together with a concept of perfect compliance.

A planned Exception day is one thing...like..a Birthday or Holiday, or other Special event,
but having a slip and deciding to take a binge day is a different matter.
Even calling a day with one small slip an Exception day changes the concept to a Negative one.
In actuality, that is NOT a genuine Exception day.
Exception days are intended as a POSITIVE event,
not a NEGATIVE event such as a cover-up for Failure times.

Trying to acheive Ultimate Perfection when following a rule can become counterproductive.
Sometimes it is far, far better to focus on compliance at the level of each individual moment.

It helps me to remember....
I am Accountable for my food-intake 100% of the time.
My body doesn't go by calender time. It functions continually.
Every MINUTE after any eating slip is a New Start, not every DAY after.
What works, is after an eating slip....START AGAIN IMMEDIATELY...that minute, that hour,
...even better...during the slip, even while in mid-bite...
...spit it out, throw it away, and continue on toward a successful day.
And even if you successfuly do this, don't try to cover up a slip by calling it an Exception Day.

Make it a HABIT not to wait till the following day to jump back on the wagon.

What do you think?

[sophiasapientia]

Sure, I agree. Reinhard's podcast on strictness, the "Mark it Red & Move On" catchphrase and Bethenny Frankel's audiobook on "Skinny Girl Rules" have been very helpful to me in thinking about this matter.

The truth is that any way of eating that creates a calorie deficit -- be it No S or calorie counting or fasting or whatever -- has the potential to result in weight loss. But no plan is going to result in weight loss if you constantly change your guidelines on a whim, especially if one is doing so to have an excuse to overeat, and/or if every slip-up becomes a permission to binge.

[marygrace]

I agree completely, and I think it's important to strive to keep Exception Days (I usually call them NWS days) planned--and therefore positive. It was something I was having a problem with (wrote about it in another thread), where I'd just randomly decide that I wanted a treat, and make it an NWS day. Technically, I could afford to take the day, since I'm permitted two NWS days a month--but it wasn't a Special day, so the exception felt sort of meaningless, and I ended up feeling bad about it. None of these days have been binges or even S Days, really just S-events that I mark yellow on the calendar, but I decided to start planning these NWS days in advance by marking them yellow on HabitCal. That way, there's no temptation to make an exception for no reason.

[Aleria]

I never even thought about NWS/Exception days as something I take when I feel like it. If I feel like something I'm not allowed and I give in, it's a failure. But it's a conscious failure and that's the important part - I can't fail without making that decision to.
I also very rarely take NWS days, mostly only if I'm with my family or friends for a holiday, which usually happens on a weekend anyway.

[Nicest of the Damned]

I have a pocket calendar, and I went through it and marked all my S days through the end of September 2011 in it (It's a Jewish calendar, which is why it goes through September).

On HabitCal, near the beginning of each month, I mark my S days for the month on my HabitCal. So all my S days for November are marked on my HabitCal now.

It didn't occur to me for a while after I'd been doing No S that one could take unplanned S days. "Special" days just sound to me like something that would be planned in advance, I guess.

[Sienna]

I think for me the crux of the issue is whether I decide it's an Exception BEFORE or AFTER I put the food in my mouth.

As someone who has fallen into the trap with other diets of "oh, I failed, this day (or even week) is screwed up might as well go nuts until tomorrow (or Monday...)", I think that a key for me with NoS is to be able to make conscious exceptions to what I am doing if I need to.

For example, I've been sick this week. On Tuesday, I was feeling really nauseous, and I knew crackers would help settle my stomach. So in lieu of dinner, I nibbled on crackers throughout the evening. But I didn't just grab crackers and start chowing down. I took a minute, considered my options, and decided that the best thing for me given the particular circumstances was to call it a Sick day and allow cracker snacking. I felt much better and actually consumed fewer calories than I would have on a normal N day.

But it was a conscious choice, not a reflex or something just because. And it was something that I understood as an exception, not a rule change.

By the same token, when I was traveling a few weeks ago, I decided to make travel days S days (for snacks only) to allow for the potential complications of airline travel. I didn't end up needing them, but knowing that I had that option lowered my overall stress level and kept me from over-eating at the meals I did get. But it was again a conscious choice.

Making these conscious choices is really helpful for me, because I have had control issues with eating in the past. This keeps me in control.

I have a had a few failures with NoS, and they feel different. The "oh, I didn't eat enough for lunch, I'm eating more" day? That was a failure. Even though it may have been true (I had no breakfast and a 100 calorie lunch - even with the extra 100 calorie "seconds" I was hardly over-indulging), even though it may have saved me from a crazy large dinner, even though it happened to be on one of those silly calendar-only holidays, it was a failure. And I accepted it and moved on.

I agree in a sense that striving for ultimate perfection can be counterproductive. But I differ in that I think that, for me at least, Exceptions can be answer for that. Because while I don't mind not being perfect, I do have an issue with not striving to be perfect. So if I fail, I fail and I move on. But feeling like I'm putting myself into a situation where I *can't* NOT fail wreaks havoc on my emotional well being. But feeling like I can change the rules *if* the situation requires it, actually helps me better accept the rules and improves my compliance.

And despite knowing that I *can* make necessary exceptions, I haven't really made any. Since I started in late June, it was just this recent Sick day, the travel snack exemption (which I didn't use), and a non-weekend S-event at a restaurant while on vacation that I couldn't visit on a weekend (which was pre-planned). But still, knowing that I have the ability to make exceptions is an important safety valve for me.