How long does it take to get over DIET HEAD on No-S?

[gettheweightoff]

After 27 years of dieting (I started at 13 years of age) I started no-s. I'm about 6 weeks in with a few ups and downs but I am finally feeling a lot more in control and I feel a shift in my mindset and quite quickly moving out of "DIET HEAD".

First I stopped worrying so much about calories (though it still enters my head I just push it out and tell myself not to think about it)

Then I stopped worrying so much about being so healthy and so nutrition minded and eat what I feel like even if that means cranberry bread made from ...heaven forbid... white flour.

Then I decided to throw out my too tight clothing and then I decided to accept myself the way I am even though I do want to get a few pounds off of my 5'2" frame. I don't need to try to be so uber thin now but I do need just a few pounds off.

Then I finally had a successful S day last weekend.

Then I managed to go 8 days without a binge.... HUGE for me even though I had a devil on my shoulder all week egging me on to do it... I refrained.

Then I decided to do some excercise this week -- not to use up calories but because I want to get fit for my children and have energy and tone up a bit.

My question is, how long did it take some of you to get over the diet mentality?

I feel like things are changing for me now for the first time in so many years of a complete anxiety ridden, prison of calorie counting, obsession, comparisons, feeling horrible, unworthy, like a failure etc. It might be too early for me to say but I know I have never felt this way before.

I think for the first time I am enjoying what I eat. I am looking forward now to buying all new clothes and not live in such tight clothes. I'm going to actually drink some wine from time to time (I always avoided it because of the calories) with my husband. I'm going to have my treats on S days out in the open and not in a private shame where I gorge myself and feel out of control. I'm 41 in a few months and finally feel like I want to enjoy my life instead of constant worry, shame from binges and feeling bad all the time.

Have any of you ever gone through these transformations and/or feelings?

I hope it lasts and I don't backslide again. It is still difficult because I have an internal war going on inside between acceptance and wanting to be thin but the acceptance voice keeps getting louder which is so incredibly weird for me. I've never known this voice before.

Thanks for reading this long post. I just can't believe how much I have changed in just a few short weeks of no-s. It sounds dramatic but I think it has saved my life.

[Blithe Morning]

Wow. Your post made my night. I am sitting here listening to Dave Ramsey's archives and on Fridays people call in and tell their stories on how they became debt free. Then they count it down and yell "I'm DEBT FREE!" and the radio producer over lays the "Freedom" cry from the movie Braveheart on the caller's yell. I'm hearing the same "FREEDOM!" cry with this post. It's giving me the chills.

But how long did it take to get over diet head? It's hard to say. I seem to go through stages where I think I'm over it then "Whoops" up pops some vestige of diet head and I address it.

At the beginning, if things started getting hectic or I was under a lot of stress or didn't take time to slow down and reflect on my life, I would eventually find myself back at feeling frustrated and harping on my invisible to everyone but me flaws.

It's been so long since I've had one of those self loathing attacks that I can't honestly remember when the last one was...

I know DH is glad to be rid of that particular dark mood of mine. Poor guy. It's no fun to live with a critical, crabby person. Even though we critical crabby people THINK we are limiting our criticism to ourselves, we're not. It spills over. It's like emotional flatulence. It stinks up EVERYTHING.

[Lorelei]

With the whole world telling us that we should be dieting, no wonder it's hard to get rid of diet head! I am working on this as well, and it is not easy! Everywhere I go (work, hair salon, out with the girls) there is conversation about dieting, weight, etc. Turn on the TV, and every other ad and infomercial is pushing the latest diet pill or program. Bookstores, grocery stores, and pharmacies have entire aisles dedicated to the diet industry. We are bombarded!!

Exdieter (a member of this board) suggested a book called "Healthy at Every Size" by Linda Bacon. Do yourself a favor and read this book. It has been very helpful to me. I would also like to recommend this website: http://www.healthyweight.net/.

In addition, this may sound silly, but I kind of get a kick out of "talking back" to all of the diety messages I get each and every day. Just the other day at the hair salon, my stylist and another woman were discussing low-cal food, the latest fad diet, and how they lost weight but always gained it back. In my head, I said "Well that proves that dieting doesn't work! I am so glad that I am not playing that game anymore." When I see an ad for the latest ridiculous weight-loss product, I talk back to the TV. Seriously, it helps!

I wish you all the best and hope that these suggestions will help you as much as they are helping me.

[exdieter]

I love, love, love your post! I am sooooo proud of your success!! Just read through each of those amazing accomplishments! Wow!!

I think you've answered your own question: It's a gradual process, and you'll take a step backward here and there, but in the big picture, you'll just keep on moving forward!

BTW, I am the Health at Every Size reader. I started trying to free myself from diethead about 6 months ago. I was telling my therapist that I was on a diet, and she looked at me and said, "You need to stop dieting. It doesn't work." I couldn't believe my ears! Nobody had EVER told me it doesn't work! in fact, my last GP had told me I need to join weight watchers when I was 2lb over my target BMI! (which, as you can imagine, fed my obsession for several years!)

Anyhow, after this revolutionary idea, I did what I do best.... I started reading. The first book I read was the memoir Hungry, by Crystal Renn (that gorgeous plus-size model who's on, like, every magazine cover lately). Anyhow, in her struggles with eating disorders, she started reading the book, Health at Every Size, so I bought it! And a few weeks after reading it, I came back to my doctor and said, "You're right. I'm done dieting!"

Stopping dieting was a piece of cake, until I went off the birth control pill and gained seven pounds in three months! That put me squarely back into diethead mode, but I really, really didn't want to start dieting again. Lucky for me, while searching "intuitive eating" on amazon, I found the no-s diet. I almost didn't click through because it had the word "diet" in the title, but I read a few reviews, and kept reading, and reading... And then I clicked through to Reinhard's site, and I was just totally charmed by his commonsense approach to life and decided to just give it a try! I would've quit in a second if I'd felt like I was dieting, but to my surprise, I have been feeling more and more healthy about my attitude toward food every day!

Like you, I've been doing this for 6 weeks (I think we started posting about the same day!!), and every week, I either learn something through a failure or have new victory to crow about!

I think losing diethead is a process that could last years, especially with the diethead shoved down our throats by advertising, the media, celebrities and the world at large (puns not intended. hehe). But I think we all gotta be okay with that, because the alternative (letting diethead win), just stinks!

This probably sounds cheesy, but I secretly think of all of us as warriors in a war against diets! And like they say, you might lose a skirmish or two, but we'll all keep on fighting!

(I just realized I got totally motivated and went off on a long tangent... heehee).

[vmsurbat]

The more you talk back (and over and through) your diethead chatter, the sooner you will overcome. I strongly urge you to read through the sticky near the top of the page entitled something like "NoS phrases, mottos, mantras"--I'm mangling the title, but I think you will find the one I mean. I found it VERY helpful to find a few choice phrases that were meaningful to me and use them like a weapon whenever diethead raised its nasty voice.

And, although I've successfully been NoSing 2+ years, every once in a while, I come across another one that I like to add to my arsenal. In fact, I'm just about to search the one that just spoke to me so I can give credit where credit is due: something about being grateful for 3 good square meals a day. What a GREAT perspective and one I want to consciously adopt for myself....

Edited to add: I found the "mantra" I was looking for (emphasis is mine). Orignally posted by audiomama:

I choose to focus on my gratitude for being able to eat three satisfying meals a day-- when there are people in the world and even in my town who don't have that luxury. No matter what struggles I face in my life I can celebrate that abundance.

HTH,

[NoelFigart]

My background:

My mother lost about 90 lbs when I was 12. Daddy, deciding that he didn't want me to develop a weight problem, encouraged me to start dieting. When I was 14, I was 5'2", 117 lbs and a C-cup. While I looked mature, FAT, I was not. It did get me kicked out of a ballet troupe because I could not diet down to under 100 lbs. During this period, my mother bought the Diet Center subfranchise where she lost all that weight.

I was able to continue dance for a few years, and my weight went up to about 140 lbs when I quit dance and theater altogether and got into Karate. Daddy started gently encouraging me to start dieting again, and I did so. I got down to ~125. But I started losing tournaments. My sensei finally pulled me aside and said I needed to choose between winning tournaments and being excited about a number on a scale, as I'd been losing massive amounts of muscle mass with the adipose tissue.

So, I stopped dieting again. But after I graduated from high school, I went to work for my mother, which meant that I had a lot of pressure to keep the weight down as a diet counselor. (The diet for women was around 900 calories a day). So I dieted a lot for about four years.

Then after I married, I stopped dieting much, but I had horrible eating habits, as I had two "modes" -- being "good" and dieting or being "bad" and eating whatever took my fancy whenever it took my fancy. After about ten years, I was upset at how much I'd gained and went on a low carb diet. I lost about 50 lbs. A trauma happened, and I stopped eating low carb. I gained it back. Then I lost about 55 lbs (still low carb), then a trauma happened. I was "good" for awhile, then I gained it back in a few years.

While I DO want to regulate my eating patterns, I'm not into dieting any more. My goal weight is whatever my body does on No-S and getting a decent amount of exercise. I am back into lifting weights. I LIKE lifting. It feels emotionally good to me. I am also into swimming. I LOVE swimming and am a total water baby, so this is something I do as much for fun as it is for "exercise". I look for physical things that make me happy (get your mind out of the gutter, that's not very good exercise, dammit) whether it's dancing or swimming or whatever.

Spending four years as a diet counselor, I've seen it all -- from women who thought their husbands' infidelity was due to five pounds, to Marine Corps captains battling anorexia, to women who would be puzzled about not losing weight when I could SEE the powdered sugar on their bustlines from a doughnut they'd had on their way into their weigh-in. Everyone thought that somehow their lives would be perfect when they lost weight, that they'd be more loved, that they'd do better in their jobs, you name it.

The reality is, yes, No-S requires self-discipline and yes, self-discipline is good for you. But it also allows for a small amount of self-indulgence, and you know what? That's important, too. It's the moderation and balance that makes it a good way to regulate habit and contain excess. I love that it doesn't promise a perfect life once you get skinny.

'Cause friends, it ain'ta gonna happen. That weight is a proxy for other, more serious problems than what size pants you buy. Healthy habits will promote a healthy weight, but it's not going to happen all at once, and a lot of what you gain through the habits of systematic moderation and self discipline will be creeping up on you so slowly you're just not going to notice from day to day. (Back when I was overdrinking, whoda thunk that I would decide four years down the road that 2oz. was exactly the right size for a lovely martini?)

These habits spill over into lots of other things. I used to clean house like I used to diet. Let it get out of control and then go hammer and tongs going for perfection until I was sick of it, and the house became a rat-hole again. Now? I do little bits and chunks every day, and my house always looks nice. Systematic moderation.

LOL. This has become a novel when all I was supposed to be doing was telling how I lost diet head. I lost it the same way I gained a lot of peace of mind. I drove a stake through the heart of the vampire of perfection and excess, and replaced it with systematic moderation. And the results have been enormously greater over time.

[wosnes]

I'm not going to be a lot of help to you because I never had diet head the way you did -- and what I did have started when I was older than you are now.

Mine didn't start until 1995 when I started following Ornish and then McDougall -- and then finding Fuhrman and others. It was more about health than weight loss or control, though that was a nice little bonus (however, I didn't lose much on those programs. Certainly not enough to get excited about).

Essentially, I spent 5 years following the programs about 90% and trying to convince myself that they were right and another 5 wavering and worrying. So, I guess it took me 5 years to get rid of the diet head I had. Eventually I said "enough!!" and decided to eat the way that made sense to me.

I still get emails from both McDougall and Fuhrman and I usually look at them and then delete. Sometimes I just delete. Every now and again I'll wonder "what if they're right?" Then I realize that I don't care. I'd rather live a shorter life and enjoy my food than a longer one with less enjoyment, more worry about being able to find appropriate food when I'm away from home and just more stress over food in general.

[gettheweightoff]

WOW your stories and responses are all amazing and inspiring. We have different backgrounds and experiences and yet similar feelings and obstacles.

This freeing myself of diet head is definitely challenging. Sometimes it is easy and freeing and other times I get anxiety when I think about the calories I've consumed but I have to keep telling myself to stop counting and then I'm ok again. I panicked a bit today about my treats but I have been rationalizing with myself lately and I realize that this is a process and it's going to take time to get these habits down.

Thanks again for all your responses and all of your encouragement and support. You don't even know how much you have helped me over these past weeks especially during this transformation of thoughts which is very healing for me.

[Blithe Morning]

Wow, Noel. I'd never heard your whole story before. That's a lot of diet head to overcome. No wonder you chafe against that unrealistic standard of thinness and beauty. I think you have a lot to be proud of for taking the stands you have and I appreciate your transparency in this public forum. I don't know how many people read these forums - I'm guessing it's way more than the 2 dozen or so that contribute regularly - but I would guess that you are an inspiration to many.

[gettheweightoff]

You said it BlitheMorning!

[motorin]

I still have some remnants of diet head. I am a long time binge eater. I used to diet pretty hard and exercise pretty hard only to "sabotage" myself later by binge eating at night. I tried weight watchers at least 4 times and many many other diets. A few years ago after reading a lot of emotional eating books and intuitive eating books I decided that dieting sucks and does not work at all. However, by that time I had trained my self to become a binge eater. I also became a father around that time and started a pretty demanding/stressful job, hence my time available to exercise went down at well. You can probably guess that the weight went up.

After discovering No-S I was very relieved. Finally a reasonable plan for someone like me. I am new enough to the No-S way of eating that, at least once a weekend, I'll do a bit of binging. However, these scenarios have become much less frequent as I am progressing. It seems that I still need to convince myself that I am "allowed" to eat whatever I want on S days and that these days are going to come back EVERY weekend. I think my mind still view S days as "cheating" - old diet mentality there, and so I binge because I think I am "getting away with something." I am considering getting rid of my scale next. I'd like to leave any remnant of the diet lifestyle behind. My behavior around food is still very emotional/psychological but I am slowly progressing toward eating intuitively/naturally.

[M's sick of dieting]

I am so glad I found some people that struggle with diet head, that's such a good word for it. I've been complaining for a while about my diet obsession. Sometimes I sware it's all I think about. I get mentally and emotionally exhausted thinking about dieting. My mother always said it's a good thing I love food so much cause she could see me being anorexic.

My diet obsession started when I was around 11, and looking back at pictures of myself I was never fat. However I wasn't as thin as my girlfriends, and anyone who has struggled with there weight as a child knows how hurtful kids can be, even if they didn't mean to hurt my feeling. Needless to say I remember every fat comment everyones ever said to me.

Earlier last year I lost about 20lbs. In 6 months doing weight watchers. I do think that plan works but I'm so sick of counting points and measuring everything I eat, and I find myself hungry alot. So I've been looking for something else.

I like to read before I go to bed at night and after I read about No S and diet head somthing hit me like a ton of bricks. Next to my bed a have a pile, no a mountain of diet books. I have weight watcher books, 2 eat clean books, Dr. Atkins new diet revolution, The Blood Type Diet, Susan Powters Stop the insanity, Skinny B!?ch vegan book. Holy crap I am obsessed!!!

All I ever wanted was to have normal eating habits, eat normal food, and be comfortable in my own skin. During my new diet hunting I stumbled on No S, and I thought about what I'd ate that day and it dawned on me I consumed like 500 calories in just snacks. So I'm giving this a shot sense I love food and can't seem to stick to anything long term. The 1st thing I'm gonna do is box up every book diet related. Wish me luck:)

[gettheweightoff]

That's exactly what happened to me. I stopped WW this December when they switched the program up. For some reason I couldn't stop binge eating and I got fed up eating 1 pt this and 2 pt that. I ended up gaining my 10lb loss (that took me 12 weeks to lose) in a matter of a few weeks and I still haven't lost it but I feel so much better and free.

I had a similar pile of books beside my bed and I just threw them out one day, sort of like a statement that these books/plans/diets etc. don't have a hold on me any more. I never ever looked back.

I now turn the channel when Biggest Loser comes on or other diet related shows. I still have a fascination and alwasy wonder if there is something better in terms of diet but as soon as I look at it I absolutely know that there isn't. No-S has given me back my life, my sanity and a different view of the world and the whole diet mentality. It is making me question what I truly like to eat, not just what a plan has told me to eat in the past. It is making me question what a truly healthy weight is now.

I wish you great success with No-S and think moving away from "diet head" is the healthiest and best gift you can give yourself.

[Whidbey Woman]

Thank you all. I am bolstered by your experience and wisdom. I, too, have 40+ years of weight gain and weight loss and general obsession with food in my past. I wish I'd read No-S when I was 20; I'm convinced I'd be healthier and about 50 lbs lighter than I am now! And I would have spent way less mental energy and money! If I had .50 on every dollar I spent on diet plans, books, food, etc. I'd be able to take a nice long cruise about now - actually, several cruises!


It's never too late, however. I look forward to the next 20 or 30 years (not sure I want 40 - 100 years old seems a bit much) of reasonable habits, moderated weight, and the enjoyment of food!

Again, thank you all!

[Nicest of the Damned]

Thank you all. I am bolstered by your experience and wisdom. I, too, have 40+ years of weight gain and weight loss and general obsession with food in my past. I wish I'd read No-S when I was 20; I'm convinced I'd be healthier and about 50 lbs lighter than I am now!

I wish I'd known about No S when I was about 20, too. Unfortunately for us, Reinhard didn't come up with it until around 2002.

[mbell]

Isn't it weird that we all think we're the only ones with certain behaviours? I'm wondering just how many people on this forum have had a stack of diet books balancing on their bedside table (or still have, like me). My target for the weekend is to throw them all out - not even give them to charity as that would be passing them on to some other person to clutter their space with and mess up their life! I wonder if there'sa any correlation to the number of diet books you have and how overweight you are? Just a tad ironic. What the hell are we doing to ourselves?? How did we get into this state? Thank goodness for No-S!!