Everyday Systems

I find that I have so much trouble in the evenings. I can go all morning and afternoon perfectly, but 8-10pm are the worst. I thought that maybe it was destressing eating in front of TV after putting my 3 toddlers to bed, but my stomach is literally growling, so I really am hungry. What do you all do?? I know that I could try to eat dinner later, that would mean having to change maybe all of my eating times. What times work best for you all?

What time do you eat dinner?

Maybe some hot milk? That would be filling, plus help you sleep.

I tend to not eat breakfast at all, have lunch around 12-1pm and dinner around 6-7pm. I did get really hungry at the beginning of NoS and was piling my dinner plates high!

If you are feeling genuinely hungry and trying to build habits, maybe try having one small, planned, healthy snack in the evening and gradually phasing it out. A piece of fruit, poached egg, handful of nuts, yoghurt or something. Or maybe a small mid afternoon meal, and having your evening meal after the children are in bed?

The danger is that your 'snack' or 'mini meal' can become quite large and go from healthy to unhealthy, but if you plan it and stick to your plan it could work

I eat much like milliem. I'm curious, though, what do you eat?

I drink some skim milk to take the edge off. I understand that this gets easier and the body adjusts.

Giving up eating after dinner was the single hardest thing for me when I started No S. It took weeks before I stopped spending the evenings CRAVING something to eat, because I was just so used to eating a lot then. However, I think breaking that habit is probably the single most useful change I've made because of No S -- and I think adding a "mini meal" in the evening would just perpetuate the expectation that you must eat after dinner.

Aside from just waiting it out until your body learns not to expect a feeding in the evening, are you eating a nice substantial dinner? Not "diet" food? If you get enough fat, fiber, protein, and volume of food for dinner, it's pretty much impossible to be physically in need of food again by 8 p.m.

Thalia's comment about the habit of eating after dinner is right on.....you are just reinforcing the idea to eat after dinner.

Ya, I think I need to try to not eat at all if possible. I am going to try the idea of a warm glass of milk.
If I can get this one habbit down, I really think I could be so successful on the no s.

It's a journey not a destination

I have been treating myself to a glass of wine with dinner. It mellows me out and I'm relaxed enough that I don't care about eating. I don't know if it's a good idea, but.... I need empty wine bottles for a garden project! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

But I do know what you mean. I'm really hungry when I come home from work. But my husband gets home 2 hours later. Those are the longest 2 hours of the day!

I have hot Bengal Spice Celestial Seasonings tea w/ half and half. It's my psychological dessert.

I have had two failed days in a row in my second week of starting the No S diet. Largely because I the last two evenings I had events to attend where dinner wasn't served until 8:30 or even 9pm. My hunger peaks around 5pm and I barely make it to 6 or 6:30pm for dinner at home but I have been managing. However, I cannot go until 8:30pm without a snack and last night I actually threw in the towel and ate dessert two (thinking I already blew it!). I am having a similar issue as your evenings but in the afternoons and mostly if I am not completely in control of the food situation that evening. Breakfast and lunch are entirely in my control so it works. But it all falls apart after that.... I need help and some encouragement here. Seconds - I have down, Sweets- I know are bad and I can handle, Snacks- now that is my biggest obstacle and wondering if I will ever be able to do it without feeling so hungry.....

I'm in the same boat as you Talia, if I haven't eaten dinner by about 6.30pm I get horribly hungry!!

Lately if I know I'm having a late dinner I plan a small mini-meal for around 4pm to tide me over. I need to be really careful that this doesn't turn into 'hmm if I eat dinner at 9pm I can have extra food!' or my mini-meals stretching out into maxi-meals but I'd rather plan something small than binge on sweet and snacky crap.

talia wrote:I have had two failed days in a row in my second week of starting the No S diet. Largely because I the last two evenings I had events to attend where dinner wasn't served until 8:30 or even 9pm. My hunger peaks around 5pm and I barely make it to 6 or 6:30pm for dinner at home but I have been managing. However, I cannot go until 8:30pm without a snack and last night I actually threw in the towel and ate dessert two (thinking I already blew it!). I am having a similar issue as your evenings but in the afternoons and mostly if I am not completely in control of the food situation that evening. Breakfast and lunch are entirely in my control so it works. But it all falls apart after that.... I need help and some encouragement here. Seconds - I have down, Sweets- I know are bad and I can handle, Snacks- now that is my biggest obstacle and wondering if I will ever be able to do it without feeling so hungry.....

I eat lunch around noon, and dinner is usually not till 8pm or so. I do get hungry starting around 4 in the afternoon, but I usually manage to make it.

First, know that it will get better. People get habituated to eating at certain times. But those times are not the same everywhere in the world (three meals a day isn't even universal- there are cultures that did or do eat less often). People who move from one culture to another, or one time zone to another, do get used to eating on a new schedule. It can be done. It takes longer, at least in my experience, than adjusting your sleep schedule when you have jet lag, but eventually you do adjust.

The French and Italians, at least from what I remember from visiting those countries, seem to eat lunch not that much later than we do, but they eat dinner much later. They're not big snackers. There are people in the world who do make it that long between meals. There are American expats in France and Italy, and I'd bet most of them eat on the schedule the locals do. If they can do it, so can you.

Find something to do between when you start getting hungry and dinner time. Ideally, it would be something engaging that doesn't have to do with food, and that takes you out of close proximity to food. Boredom is easily mistaken for hunger. How hungry I am in the late afternoon seems, for me at least, to be more of a function of how bored I am than of what I've eaten earlier in the day. You might have the same problem.

Drink some water, or another beverage. Thirst is also easy to mistake for hunger.

If I know that dinner will be unusually late, I try to either move my lunch later, or put more protein/fat in it so it will "hold" me longer.

And I allow myself a hot milky drink (decaf cafe-au-lait for me) if needed as "filler."

At one time, I couldn't imagine waiting until later-than-usual for food. Now, it's not that big a deal. It does get easier.

After a while, your body starts to believe that you really will not allow it to starve.

Thank you for your suggestions and encouragement. Yesterday I ate lunch at Noon and had dinner plans at 7:30pm. I ate a good balanced lunch and had some iced tea in the afternoon but wasn't even all that hungry when dinner came. I did load up my plate more than my girlfriends (I may have gotten some looks from the men as well) but they all loaded up on chips and dip before dinner and I refrained! The big difference between yesterday and all the other days of the week was that I spent the afternoon hours at a big park with my boys playing outdoors. Usually I am in the kitchen doing homework with them while preparing dinner. I think until I get my body in the habit- I need to find a way to stay OUT of the kitchen until mealtime. That will be a new challenge but one I have not yet tried! It was easy to pass on Dessert after that. I felt so good about have a solid N day to mark on my calendar. The question I now have is whether any of you hold off on an S day if you are coming in to the weekend with some red days. I feel that I should have at least two or three green days on my calendar before earning an S day. What do you all think?

I sympathize with your struggles, talia.

I think that going ahead and developing the habit of being able to take S days EVERY weekend might solidify your N-days. The primitive parts of your brain will learn to trust that you're never more than five days away from a snack, second or treat.

talia, well done!

Re: S days. I don't think you earn them. They are just part of the plan. I think making food a reward is part of Diet Head in that it gives food a power that it should not have. Pretty soon, you start feeling deserving or unworthy then entitled or deprived. Not a good place to be mentally.

Talia - take your S days.

For the rationale, refer to the "Strictness" podcast. It remains one of my favorites.

I agree...take the S days. For two reasons:

--You cannot go back and make up for the fact that you had a red day. Just mark it and move on.

--You cannot be perfect all of the time and learning that it is okay to have S days and still be able to stay on track is important. It is part of the process.

I had some pretty wild S days at the beginning, but they are pretty moderate now. I actually behave pretty much like I do during the week, but I allow myself indulgences when they come up. I may have that appetizer or dessert that I resisted during the week or I will allow myself my favorite snack of chips and salsa.

Good luck!!

talia wrote:The question I now have is whether any of you hold off on an S day if you are coming in to the weekend with some red days. I feel that I should have at least two or three green days on my calendar before earning an S day. What do you all think?

I think trading red days for S days is a very dangerous idea. One problem is, you're extending yourself a line of credit (and we've all seen how dangerous that can be in the last few years). You're making it less of a big deal to fail, because you can make up for it later. Not good.

The other problem is that promising to eat right someday in the future can't make you lose weight now (If it did, I'd be a lot thinner than I am). You may end up eating whatever you want now, and promising that you'll "make up for it later". If I let myself "borrow" S days like this, I'd probably be "borrowing" S days from around 2020 now.

Promising to be good later to make up for being bad now might make you feel better, but it isn't going to make you lose any weight. You have to actually eat less to lose weight, there's no way around it. Saying you'll eat less at some future time won't cut it.