Struggling in a new job

mamamia · Post by **mamamia** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:42 pm

Okay, the transition to working in an office again and maintaining NO-S has proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be. The first week I was there went well, although the woman who is training me snacks quite a bit. She continually offered me stuff and I was able to say no, I don't eat between meals. I explained that if I start I won't be able to stop. However, one morning everyone brought in a breakfast treat and I felt the pressure to be polite and have a little taste. I'm the new girl! I don't want to offend, you know? I swear, ever since that 'little taste' I have been off the rails! I have been avoiding my habitcal too - too much red to contemplate. But I'm not 'back' or 'starting over', I am just continuing the lesson. I do know now that it really is true when I say if I have one bit I won't be able to stop!!

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 11:10 pm

I hear ya. I have been in a new office two years and in the beginning I would have reacted just like you did. Now I have explained my No S way of eating and they admire that I am the size and weight I want to be, but although the other women are trying to lose weight, they don't want t give up the snacks.

It isn't easy as the boss(es) keep filling up the candy bowl on my desk with every kind of imaginable expensive chocolate. I just ignore it now and the other workers walk by and eat it all. I did tell the boss, Hey, I'm not eating it all

It should get easier as you fit in more. I am like you, if I start eating junk I can't stop. I bring in healthy food like peanut butter, whole grain bagels, Healthy Select Soups, etc. to share so I am part of the eating crowd, I just eat different things.

Good luck

SpiritSong · Post by **SpiritSong** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:33 pm

My co-worker offered me a cracker once (some special low-cal snack for me to try since she knew I am dieting) and I told her I wasn't allowed. She looked at me like I was crazy (after all, how is a 5 calorie cracker going to ruin my diet), but I don't care. It wasn't part of a meal, so I couldn't have the cracker.

I even turned down birthday cake from the mentally disabled boy in my choir. You know what, he was confused for a moment, but I insisted that I wasn't allowed to have any and he went on to the next person.

Maybe I'm just a b*tch, but trying not to hurt people's feelings is not going to be my road to ruin. People who bring treats to work cannot really expect that every single person in the office is obligated to try some. Saying "No, thank you" is being polite, and anyone who pushes food after that is being rude.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:41 pm

I don't think it's 'bitchy' to politely say no thanks to offered food. Why are people so insistent on making you eat when they want to eat? To answer my own question, probably to make themselves feel better about doing it....

A technique that I use a lot is 'broken record'. Just pick a neutral phrase like 'no thanks i'm not hungry' or 'no thanks i don't eat sweet things on weekdays' and keep repeating it (with slight variations so you don't sound robotic and weird...). Eventually they will get the hint and stop asking you. You don't HAVE to explain yourself and it's not rude as long as you don't get frustrated and start to get angry in your tone or what you say.

Office food can be tough to avoid, keep working at it and I'm sure it'll get easier

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:03 pm

I agree, No thank you should suffice.
To me it is ruder to be upset when someone refuses food than to refuse it.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:20 pm

I use the same broken record technique that milliem uses. It works.

Nice variations:
No thanks, I'm not hungry.
No thanks, I just had breakfast (or lunch, or whatever)
No thanks, it's too close to lunch (or dinner) and I don't want to spoil my appetite. (Between this one and the last one, you can cover most of the day!)
How nice of you to offer, but I'm not hungry right now.
Maybe later. (For savories, if you want, you can have it as part of your next meal.)

As you get to know them, "I'm just not much of a snacker." They will eventually accept that as part of the unique package that is you.

I have also found that a heavy dose of verbal appreciation can substitute for actually eating. ("That looks beautiful!" or "How nice of you to bring something to share!") Most people either want appreciation for their culinary skills or their thoughtfulness. You can often give that without actually eating.

Good luck!

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:48 pm

"Oh thanks for offering. It looks wonderful, but I just ate!"

dockanz · Post by **dockanz** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:17 pm

Thalia wrote:"Oh thanks for offering. It looks wonderful, but I just ate!"

Or, "Oh thanks for offering. It looks wonderful, but I have a bit of an upset stomach."

mamamia · Post by **mamamia** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:04 am

Thanks so much for the support and suggestions! I actually was able to turn down some dark chocolate today and my 'broken record' comment has kind of become Oh I'd love to but once I start I just can't stop. Which is true because I'm still struggling...

At my old office I used to tease the women who were constantly offering food by calling them pushers. I'm not quite at that point yet at the new place! Unfortunately one of the doctors in this practice is a wonderful baker and apparently brings in a cake just about every week. Give me strength!

SpiritSong · Post by **SpiritSong** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:24 pm

mamamia wrote:Unfortunately one of the doctors in this practice is a wonderful baker and apparently brings in a cake just about every week. Give me strength!

Are you afraid of spiders? Picture them crawling around inside the cake.

Do you have a dog? Picture that the inside of the cake is really the doodoo from the yard.

Have you ever had cake that looked really good but then turned out to be dry or tasted bad? Picture having his cake, and even though it looks and smells delicious, actually it tastes like dirt and everyone else is just acting like it tastes good to be nice.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:23 am

Perhaps you could just take a single bite of cake. accept a slim slice and then only eat one bite.

The dog feces solution would never work with me. I don't see the point in perverting something pleasurable. But then, I'm not prone to binging.

SpiritSong · Post by **SpiritSong** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:46 pm

Who Me? wrote:Perhaps you could just take a single bite of cake. accept a slim slice and then only eat one bite.

(1) That's not following the rules of the No S Diet, and (2) OP said she couldn't stop at one bite.

Better to just say no, thank you. We had fresh baked chocolate chip cookies at work today. I could have had one and stopped at one, but I didn't. I'm not allowed sweets during the week.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:59 am

If you notice, thin people will often say no to food and don't seem to worry a bit about what the other person thinks. If they don't want it, they don't want it. End of story. If food didn't have a pull for you, it wouldn't be an issue. But you are training them as much as you are training yourself. If you waver, you will make it harder for you and them. You just don't eat sweets during the week. Believe me, it can become routine and not even a struggle.

I do sometimes take things home and freeze them. You might have to wait a few months before that feels safe. I always ask people who offer homemade items if they mind if I do that, just in case they like seeing me eat it. Otherwise, I just take it and wrap it up. There were tons of little pastries at work today but I knew there were only three that I really like. They are in my freezer now.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:06 pm

Okay, then, this is where I deviate from the herd.

I think that equating actually good home made food with feces is crazy and unhealthy.

But then, I actually can stop eating when I want to. I started with No-S as a way to get back to my good eating habits, which slipped a bit when my partner was paralyzed, and my life turned upside down. I don't need to make food into something repulsive.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:56 pm

Who Me? wrote:Okay, then, this is where I deviate from the herd.

I don't think "the herd" is going in that direction.

I'm part of the "other herd" going away from it. I don't want to imagine the food being icky. Though I will admit to channeling my "inner snob" when offered ordinary junk food, to recognize food that IS pretty icky. (My inner snob is getting stronger as I focus more on quality than quantity - and I think that's a good thing!)

In this case, with delicious home-made food, I might do one of several things DEPENDING on how strong my overall habits are.

1) Learn to refuse. This is about habit-building and there will always be nice food. (Which is actually good - reassure yourself that "there will be nice food again.")

As an option, take a piece home and freeze it for your S-day. (I don't do that, but it's a strategy that works for some people on this board.)

2) Build it into your life. That would mean either using your two NWS per month for a piece of cake (so half the time you could have some) or moving your S days around to accommodate cake day. BOTH of these options have some peril built in, so I would recommend #1 unless your habits are otherwise very strong.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:19 pm

Sorry. "Herd" was probably a poor, and provocative, word choice.