I see the old habit that is tripping me up..

[Florencegirl]

Thanks to the last couple of days that I have started journelling on this website I have been presented in black and white where I have a pattern that is blocking me from just being a plain, normal everyday well adjusted person that has no issues with obsessive food behaviours - what a mouthful (pardon the pun). Upon review of my last 2 posts I have seen the issue that I have - watch out people I am a certified night eater. I come home from work or gym or where ever and as soon as I get near that big silver fridge of mine the munchie monster emerges, I am pretty proud that thus far I have not eaten anything that contains sugar but everything else that isn't nailed down becomes prey! My body is just malnourished from all the binging I have been doing since the start of last week. Back from holidays, back to work, stress urggh all the usual excuses! I have thought long and hard and realised that I have been doing this for as long as I can remember. Coming home from school with sisters and friends we would often scour the cupboards and gorge ourselves before dinner. If there was nothing available we would pool our pocket money and head to the corner store to buy biscuits and eat until they were finished. We would make oatmeal and gorge on that and then eat our dinner. Of course as kids you burn it all off because you never stop running around. Another thing that I do is eat in secret, I know that I inheritted this from my mother who got the food sneaking gene implanted at boarding school where it was a competition to sneak and eat the very infrequent desserts after bed time. I - even now - find myself creeping in the night to my mothers fridge to sneak wedges of whatever dessert she has baked for our visit, sometimes I can see that she has already been there before me or my other sister has also paid a visit, yep we are all at it! I know that I don't do it for the enjoyment of the food because it is a process of stealth that means that the food is inhaled, not respected as a dish and enjoyed using utensils at the table taking the time to enjoy each sugary creamy mouthful. No it is eaten so fast that it could be sugar coated dog food and the result would be the same. I burn with shame when I think of the time that I was staying with an Aunty during my Yr10 work experience in the city and she had made a sponge cake for my arrival. Of course I lied and said that I didn't eat cream (pwarh I could consume it by the bucket load in private) anyway my gorgeous male cousin who was in his early 20's at the time had gone into town with his girlfriend and while he was out and the rest of the house was in bed I snuck to the fridge, opened the container with the delicious sponge cake inside and set about cutting off slices and jamming them into my mouth so fast that at one stage I literally had to cough a peice out because I was nearly choking, it was during the last wedging of cake into my mouth by the light of the fridge in the dark house that I heard a knock at the kitchen window - gorgeous male cousin was back and he was watching. The shame, I was caught sneaking and stealing in his house, thankfully he was gorgeous enough to come inside make a cup of tea for us both and cut a slice of sponge for us to share as he told me of his night in the city and the trouble with cabs whilst pretending not to notice that a family sized portion of sponge cake was missing. Now you would think that this incident would have taught me a lesson and that I would not be stealing food in the future, well no it actually made me a bit more cautious and skilled at food theft. I won't go into all the gory details of when I have eaten thrown out left overs out of the bin or jammed chocolate squares into my mouth while pretending to get something from the fridge to drink so that my husband could see...ahhh there are so many memories and they aren't good and I am not proud but I am now going to do something about it. I am going to eat normally, 3 wonderful filling healthy meals a day and no snacks, no seconds, no sweets and absolutely no sugar until I get to an S Day - only 3 days away! I am starting my own 21 day challenge today and I am going to break the bad eating habits I have formed over my life time. I am looking forward to my time being free of sneaking binging and purging. I love myself enough to do this and I love those around me and no longer what to steal and sneak and lie around them they and I deserve more.

So clean slate (not neccessarily clean plate tee hee hee) I am happy positive and ready to do this simple eating plan for life. I have been so inspired by all the posts here and know that there are no real food demons just the nasty little pixies that we create in our own heads so..

Sorry about the rant being so long but obviously I had a lot to say and no one to say it too in the past, thank you all for being there my cyberspace fairies. Hugs Florence xx

[3-0-7 girl]

I am new here but have had problems with the night time binge eating too. Being on NO S really does the trick.

I think the reason is that I become so well fed on those great 3 meals a day I just can't binge, I never even think about it.

I tried for years to eat less, less, less, and wait as long as I could to eat and until my stomach growled. When I would eat I was soooo hungry I'd feel like I was never going to get full and kept jonesing for more food and going back for more.

There were times when I felt almost possessed with my binge eating and cravings It actually scared me some nights.

This is just my 4th day of success but I had years and years of back to back success with NO S before it was ever named. Therefore, I am very excited to be here.

[Blithe Morning]

Ladies, thank you for such open and honest sharing. No S is a sane, safe way of living. You have a bright future ahead of you.

[Florencegirl]

Hi 3-0-7 girl and Blithe Morning,

Welcome 3-0-7 girl and thanks for letting me know about your success with no binging on the NoS, I think you have it in one with your meal sizes, I have been so used to restricting that I was obviously still hungry after my lunch which lead to the binge when I got home.
I made larger meals for the day yesterday and guess what - no urge to binge. I really feel amazing this morning.
And thank you both again for your encouragement I feel very special and want to send you both happy sparkly vibes! F

[determined]

Florencegirl...

First of all, please don't feel bad "ranting". This is what we're all here for. We're all striving to be healthy & a huge part of this adventure is to figure out what makes us do what we do. When I read other's stories I feel as if it helps me by giving me food for thought (pun intended).

I'm 51 and have had binge issues all my life. NoS has been the one & only plan that has given me hope of being rid of unhealthy eating for life.

Thanks for sharing your story & insights...

Determined

[M's sick of dieting]

Hi there, I too have issues with binging. I just turned 35 and i started my 1st diet when i was 10. I now know that dieting causes binging (for me anyway). That's it, that's what does it. When you let yourself have what you want you don't need to binge, you don't want to binge.

I always thought I had this crazy appitite, cause I was always dieting and thought about food constantly!! Hungry or not, but when you let it go (and its hard sometimes) My appitite calmed down and wasn't so obsessive.

It is hard to stop dieting though, I really have to remind myself "no diet, this is a life style"!! cause i will literally calculate calories, points and carbs in my head constantly if I don't. Good luck to you

[oolala53]

I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want stopped me from overeating it at some time. Processed foods are powerful. Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan. It is important to take away the emotional charge. But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus. However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship-- I have them moderately and satisfyingly.

[BrightAngel]

I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want
stopped me from overeating it at some time.
Processed foods are powerful.
Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan.
It is important to take away the emotional charge.
But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus.
However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship--
I have them moderately and satisfyingly.

This has also been my own general overall experience.
Sometimes I delete specific food for specific time periods,
but eventually, I've always returned to the above-general behavior.

[Florencegirl]

Hi girls,

I have been on a bit of what could be called a minor binge-bender and realised that "old habits" it was the RESTRICTING of a certain food or ingredient (sugar) that sent me back to my old gorging habits. I have been trying to stay off anything with sugar even on S Days but have failed due to my chocolate addiction and love of honey. I feel like I have failed and have then gone for anything within reach that has sugar in it because I tell myself that I have already eaten sugar and that I will start again on Monday.
I think that this all or nothing approach and food RESTRICTIONS of things we view as 'bad' foods make us so unforgiving, this is not a healthy way to go about eating. I mean I think that I have a wagon that was only fitted with three wheels because I keep falling off and instead of dusting myself off and continuing with my focus I start to refocus on food.

Lets make a pact and forgive ourselves our minor food sins and comitt to no RESTRICTING and move towards being at peace with each minor mistake, forgive ourselves and move on. We don't fail we have just veered off the path for a bit. I had just veered for 3 days and had a biscuit attack 10mins ago but am ready to recommitt and wait until tonight to have a lovely dinner. Forgiveness and Peace. F

[r.jean]

Early on in doing No S I had a similar experience with restricting myself too much which led to overeating. I was doing Vanilla No S but also trying to eat really healthy meals. This led to me feeling deprived. I fluctuated between periods of austerity followed by periods of overeating. My S Days became more indulgent too. That was the only month that I lost zero lbs. This was a wake up call and since then I realize that I need to enjoy what I eat...even during the week.