Hello!
Some of you may remember me from a while back. In Oct. 2010 I was serious about NoS and changing my habits. I managed to do quite well for about 8 months or so and lost 25 pounds in that time. Then I started going back and forth...red days were slipping in more and more frequently until I fell off the wagon entirely and my old habits were back full force.....and still are! I have now gained back almost all the weight I lost. I am so frustrated and mad at myself! I feel miserable and uncomfortable. My clothes don't feel comfortable. I don't like the way I look. ugh! You get the picture!
I've lost weight in the past on WW....many times actually. One time I lost 60 pounds, just to regain it all back again. Ugh! I KNOW ww is not something I can stick with for the rest of my life! But, I'm desperate to feel better. This morning I have been toying with the idea of going back to WW to get some of this weight off more quickly than I can with NoS. My daughter is graduating high school in May, which means family pictures and I am not happy with how I look. Spring and summer is coming, which means I can't cover up under sweatshirts and coats.
Last time I did this I was not concerned with how long it took me or even the weight so much. It was all about the HABIT. Now I am feeling more of a sense of urgency, which I know is incorrect thinking. I need to do something that is possible to continue for life. And WHY did I allow old habits to come back. ugh. It's not that hard! But, apparently something so simple IS hard for me otherwise I would never have gotten out of control again.
Anyone willing to give me a pep talk? I need one. I am generally a very positive person by nature with a positive self esteem. .. even though this post may not seem so. I know I am a good person who just happens to have these unwanted pounds!
Thanks for listening!
In need of a pep talk!
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
In need of a pep talk!
"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day." ~Winnie the Pooh ~
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
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HabitMaker
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:42 pm
Choose something and be committed to it, whatever it is.
I am not a long-time No-S-er, so I can't speak so much to the lifestyle. Arguing for No-S when I don't have my own experience behind me would just be parroting what I read (and what I read in the book and here makes a lot of sense, but still). Though if you need THAT kind of pep talk, the book is very good, and if you want to feel gung-ho about No-S and that's why you're posting, perhaps you might reread the book (which is very helpful).
What I have to say is that, having over the years lost a lot of weight (I'm not completely to my goal, which is why I am trying No-S), I know the feeling of desperation of being one's heaviest and having tried SO hard so many different times and failed to do anything which stuck in the long term. I know how it feels wrong in one's skin and like the weight should *already* be off, so almost anything but something drastic will be "too slow." And yet knowing the drastic things (as well as the sensible things) you've tried have never stuck and have led you back to where you are. It's a miserable feeling, and I totally get the desperation of being in that place.
And I don't really think it would be a TERRIBLE thing if, in your fit of discomfort, you chose to do Weight Watchers.
However, what I have to say is this: once you start doing *something,* once you get on a path where you are actually succeeding, it feels better even if it is going slowly. Being on the way down (in weight) is a good feeling. Even if, on the way up, one would have been highly dismayed to have to buy clothes in a particular size, being on the way down and reaching that size is a celebration. It feels differently, not desperate and awful, while you are on a path and actually succeeding.
So join Weight Watchers if you have to to feel okay. It is your choice. But if you think *this* lifestyle is ultimately something that would work for you, and Weight Watchers is simply going to be a setback in the long term, maybe it would be worth it to do something in a way you are more convinced will work for you. Yes, maybe there is a graduation in May and you won't be all the way to goal then, and maybe there will be pictures, but there will be other occasions for pictures in the future, after that. Maybe you could rock those later pictures, look fantastic in them, and make peace with that there might be some unflattering pictures out there of you from when you weren't "there" yet in May 2012 or during the summer months of this year.
Be well, and good luck with your decision.
Oh, and it sounds like part of your reluctance to try this again is that you are worried you wouldn't be able to do it. But I've gotten the impression though a lot of posts here and from reading the book that the idea is to go through the process, knowing there WILL be some failure, because that is what happens in the process of changing habits. The rope of habit is often very strong. It's a matter of showing up with the new behavior until you weave the rope of habit to your advantage. But it's easy to fail, too, because of the strong rope you've weaved of your old habits, and all the things in place that trigger and support those habits.
So I don't know if that's what you needed, but if you need a more No-S-y pep talk, I'm sure some longer-term no-S-ers will weigh in soon enough.
Best,
Emily
What I have to say is that, having over the years lost a lot of weight (I'm not completely to my goal, which is why I am trying No-S), I know the feeling of desperation of being one's heaviest and having tried SO hard so many different times and failed to do anything which stuck in the long term. I know how it feels wrong in one's skin and like the weight should *already* be off, so almost anything but something drastic will be "too slow." And yet knowing the drastic things (as well as the sensible things) you've tried have never stuck and have led you back to where you are. It's a miserable feeling, and I totally get the desperation of being in that place.
And I don't really think it would be a TERRIBLE thing if, in your fit of discomfort, you chose to do Weight Watchers.
However, what I have to say is this: once you start doing *something,* once you get on a path where you are actually succeeding, it feels better even if it is going slowly. Being on the way down (in weight) is a good feeling. Even if, on the way up, one would have been highly dismayed to have to buy clothes in a particular size, being on the way down and reaching that size is a celebration. It feels differently, not desperate and awful, while you are on a path and actually succeeding.
So join Weight Watchers if you have to to feel okay. It is your choice. But if you think *this* lifestyle is ultimately something that would work for you, and Weight Watchers is simply going to be a setback in the long term, maybe it would be worth it to do something in a way you are more convinced will work for you. Yes, maybe there is a graduation in May and you won't be all the way to goal then, and maybe there will be pictures, but there will be other occasions for pictures in the future, after that. Maybe you could rock those later pictures, look fantastic in them, and make peace with that there might be some unflattering pictures out there of you from when you weren't "there" yet in May 2012 or during the summer months of this year.
Be well, and good luck with your decision.
Oh, and it sounds like part of your reluctance to try this again is that you are worried you wouldn't be able to do it. But I've gotten the impression though a lot of posts here and from reading the book that the idea is to go through the process, knowing there WILL be some failure, because that is what happens in the process of changing habits. The rope of habit is often very strong. It's a matter of showing up with the new behavior until you weave the rope of habit to your advantage. But it's easy to fail, too, because of the strong rope you've weaved of your old habits, and all the things in place that trigger and support those habits.
So I don't know if that's what you needed, but if you need a more No-S-y pep talk, I'm sure some longer-term no-S-ers will weigh in soon enough.
Best,
Emily
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
hi zippa dee!
firstly, congratulations on the 25 lb loss in 8 months.. that is wonderful.
i'm sorry you fell off the wagon and it came back on, but just don't beat yourself up for that, and get back on your horse.
i too am back after several setbacks. i'll be pleased if i can lose a pound a week and keep it off. the keeping it off is hard.. just accept that this is a commitment for life, not a diet and don't look back!
you did it before and you can do it again!
i believe in you
deb
firstly, congratulations on the 25 lb loss in 8 months.. that is wonderful.
i'm sorry you fell off the wagon and it came back on, but just don't beat yourself up for that, and get back on your horse.
i too am back after several setbacks. i'll be pleased if i can lose a pound a week and keep it off. the keeping it off is hard.. just accept that this is a commitment for life, not a diet and don't look back!
you did it before and you can do it again!
i believe in you
debThere is no Wisdom greater than Kindness
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
ps... sorry but i have to add... quick loss is a nice perk, but it shouldn't be your main focus.. long term loss and maintenance should be what you are focusing your sights on.. you don't want to "get there" fast and then a few months later gain it back when you get tired of counting points..
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness
I understand your eagerness to make up for lost time, but I would be careful about looking for a quick fix... I think it's dangerous not just because it's a shortcut to results that bypasses deeper, ultimately necessary habit change, but also psychologically, because you think "I can fall off the moderation wagon, because I can always get on the WW express train afterwards."
If you know slow and steady is your only option, you will be more likely to stick with it. Falling off the wagon is then falling off the wagon plain and simple, and more difficult to rationalize.
Recently there was a testimonials post about "burning one's ships" as a motivational force for moving forward on No S. While I don't advise burning your local WW clinic, I do think there's some value in mentally cutting off your escape route to extreme solutions.
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=8398
Sorry that wasn't very peppy -- I do wish you the best of luck, and if you do decide WW is right for you I wish you well on that as well.
In terms of graduation in May, that is still a good 2 months and change away. That is enough time for moderation to make a dent at least, and a dent you can build on.
Best wishes and keep bugging us if you need more pep,
Reinhard
If you know slow and steady is your only option, you will be more likely to stick with it. Falling off the wagon is then falling off the wagon plain and simple, and more difficult to rationalize.
Recently there was a testimonials post about "burning one's ships" as a motivational force for moving forward on No S. While I don't advise burning your local WW clinic, I do think there's some value in mentally cutting off your escape route to extreme solutions.
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=8398
Sorry that wasn't very peppy -- I do wish you the best of luck, and if you do decide WW is right for you I wish you well on that as well.
In terms of graduation in May, that is still a good 2 months and change away. That is enough time for moderation to make a dent at least, and a dent you can build on.
Best wishes and keep bugging us if you need more pep,
Reinhard
There's no particular reason you can't do both, at least for a while. You could join WW and count points to keep yourself focused on calories/portions and probably get somewhat faster loss. But you can do that within the No-S framework so you can also build up habit. Then, at some point when you feel like dropping the specifics of WW, you can just keep going with No-S.
Personally, I really don't see these things at being at odds. No-S doesn't in any way require being more restrictive about calories or points, but it doesn't preclude it either. At least as I see it, WW is meant to be a reasonable system as well. It's meant to have you eat real food. And it allows for treats. Just keep them to the weekends and these things can easily work in concert.
Personally, I really don't see these things at being at odds. No-S doesn't in any way require being more restrictive about calories or points, but it doesn't preclude it either. At least as I see it, WW is meant to be a reasonable system as well. It's meant to have you eat real food. And it allows for treats. Just keep them to the weekends and these things can easily work in concert.
Okay, you know what your meals were like when you were doing well on No S, right? Do you need WW to tell you not to load up your plate with rich foods and no veggies?
What is the real value of WW? That they tell you your limit? I think down deep you know what your limit is.
I guess I always have a hard time understanding why people would restrain themselves when they are counting calories, but not when they are dishing up their food on three plates a day. And if time is of the essence, then you know from the start that you have to try to get to where you were after your 8 months on No S before in terms of habit, including the "and sometimes" part of S days, a little more quickly, possibly, though that seems doable since it won't all be new territory.
The danger is you'll think you are just doing this until the graduation ceremonies instead of thinking, "I'm learning the way I need to live for my LIFE to work in terms of health, a sense of vitality, and my appearance."
Bottom line as far as I can tell is whether people are counting calories or not, they have to figure out just how much dense food they need in a day to be happy and healthy. If you're not willing to be honest about that, neither one will work in the long run. And I believe that No S has the advantage of regulating your appetite better and helping you to be happy with less.
Not much of a pep talk, eh? But in that vein, I'm so glad you're back! And I'm sorry you feel so rotten now. Yet, feeling rotten can be a real incentive. When you first change, you can feel better and then be euphoric only to fall down when the euphoria disappears. Don't forget how rotten you feel right now! It is worth the pain to get to the point where you don't return to that.
I say, don't decide to do WW until you've had 21 days of compliance again on No S. If at that point, you feel you need something like a weekly public weigh-in- that's what you're talking about, right? not just online WW-, and you want to spend your days planning and counting and thinking how you can trade this for that, etc., mazel tov.
If you want to measure your portions during these three weeks, go ahead. You know you can't cover your plate with French fries and a steak and get what you want. If you want to write it down on a daily check in, go ahead. All free. I suggest you take pictures of your plates with the measured food on them so you can use them for reference later. If you're not in a better space then, go ahead and get your checkbook out!
But I really think No S is your best bet. You loved it, right? What you really need to do is go back and remember what thoughts led you to stop using the habits. They were wrong and you need to be ready to thwart them.
What is the real value of WW? That they tell you your limit? I think down deep you know what your limit is.
I guess I always have a hard time understanding why people would restrain themselves when they are counting calories, but not when they are dishing up their food on three plates a day. And if time is of the essence, then you know from the start that you have to try to get to where you were after your 8 months on No S before in terms of habit, including the "and sometimes" part of S days, a little more quickly, possibly, though that seems doable since it won't all be new territory.
The danger is you'll think you are just doing this until the graduation ceremonies instead of thinking, "I'm learning the way I need to live for my LIFE to work in terms of health, a sense of vitality, and my appearance."
Bottom line as far as I can tell is whether people are counting calories or not, they have to figure out just how much dense food they need in a day to be happy and healthy. If you're not willing to be honest about that, neither one will work in the long run. And I believe that No S has the advantage of regulating your appetite better and helping you to be happy with less.
Not much of a pep talk, eh? But in that vein, I'm so glad you're back! And I'm sorry you feel so rotten now. Yet, feeling rotten can be a real incentive. When you first change, you can feel better and then be euphoric only to fall down when the euphoria disappears. Don't forget how rotten you feel right now! It is worth the pain to get to the point where you don't return to that.
I say, don't decide to do WW until you've had 21 days of compliance again on No S. If at that point, you feel you need something like a weekly public weigh-in- that's what you're talking about, right? not just online WW-, and you want to spend your days planning and counting and thinking how you can trade this for that, etc., mazel tov.
If you want to measure your portions during these three weeks, go ahead. You know you can't cover your plate with French fries and a steak and get what you want. If you want to write it down on a daily check in, go ahead. All free. I suggest you take pictures of your plates with the measured food on them so you can use them for reference later. If you're not in a better space then, go ahead and get your checkbook out!
But I really think No S is your best bet. You loved it, right? What you really need to do is go back and remember what thoughts led you to stop using the habits. They were wrong and you need to be ready to thwart them.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
WOW!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH EVERYONE!! TRULY I appreciate all of your thoughts and the time you have taken to respond to me! I absolutely did LOVE NoS when I was doing it before. It was very freeing and I felt so good! If I am honest with myself, I really can't stand the thought of measuring and counting again. BLECK! And, as I said above I KNOW I can't do that long term! I'm only going there because I want results. I have and will get results with NoS. I know that. I just need to DO IT!
Oolala's statement:
I plan on taking one day at a time. Just focus on today...not worrying about the big picture just yet!
Thanks!! First goal...green day tomorrow. Oh, and I DO know instictively what kind of healthy food should be on my plate. I've been doing this long enough to know that!
Oolala's statement:
This really struck a chord with me. I think this may be part of what happened to me this last time....the euphoria disappeared making it easier to fall down! ah ha moment. I need to be prepared for that! Also, I tend to be a perfectionist. So, when I started messing up, I just threw in the towel. Listened to Reinhard's podcast from today. Negative Qualification...makes sense!! Oh, and I won't burn down the WW clinic. lol! But, perhaps I should burn my ww books! I DO need to decide that this is what I am doing and not give myself these outs!Yet, feeling rotten can be a real incentive. When you first change, you can feel better and then be euphoric only to fall down when the euphoria disappears. Don't forget how rotten you feel right now! It is worth the pain to get to the point where you don't return to that.
I plan on taking one day at a time. Just focus on today...not worrying about the big picture just yet!
Thanks!! First goal...green day tomorrow. Oh, and I DO know instictively what kind of healthy food should be on my plate. I've been doing this long enough to know that!
"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day." ~Winnie the Pooh ~
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
First of all... write down details including what you're thinking on your daily check-in because you can motivate yourself by re-visiting what was going on in your head when it was working. Also, read the "history" on earlier pages of check-ins from people who have lost. Notice that the loosers too were often frustrated at their seemingly slow progress (don;t we all just want it off now?) and see where they are now compared to others of us who get impatient and try other things, then gain.
Also, Weigh watchers??? Ug! I went weekly for years. I did loose 50 pounds, but gained it back simply because I was trained to either eat mountains of very lowfat stuff that I didn't really like, or count count count. I cannot count forever and I then was used to mountains of food. It was hard to reverse that eat low point food frequently before you get hungry thinking.
Also, Weigh watchers??? Ug! I went weekly for years. I did loose 50 pounds, but gained it back simply because I was trained to either eat mountains of very lowfat stuff that I didn't really like, or count count count. I cannot count forever and I then was used to mountains of food. It was hard to reverse that eat low point food frequently before you get hungry thinking.
I guess this doesn't work unless you actually do it.
Please pray for me
Please pray for me
Thanks Reneew!!! Yes, YES...love reading the posts here. Much to learn from folks that have btdt! YOU are an encouragement to me because you are still here pluggin away learning from your past experiences. 
Had the exact same experience with WW. Lost 50 pounds just to gain it all back. I was having a bout of temporary insanity to even consider it again because I honestly can't stand the thought of counting points again! I was feeling desperate. Like you said...I was wanting the weight off NOW. I've settled back into being happy with slow and steady! Speaking of inspiration and slow and steady winning the prize...GO OOLALA!! Here is a shout out for her!
I'm ready to JUST DO IT!
Had the exact same experience with WW. Lost 50 pounds just to gain it all back. I was having a bout of temporary insanity to even consider it again because I honestly can't stand the thought of counting points again! I was feeling desperate. Like you said...I was wanting the weight off NOW. I've settled back into being happy with slow and steady! Speaking of inspiration and slow and steady winning the prize...GO OOLALA!! Here is a shout out for her!
I'm ready to JUST DO IT!
"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day." ~Winnie the Pooh ~
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!
Diets Don't Work.
