Everyday Systems

I think for me getting into the habit is not as hard as fighting the URGE. Every diet I have ever been on there was that darn urge..small, large, just lurking behind the next plate of food to rear it's ugly head..the urge to binge.

This urge has been really pis____g me off...yesterday I had come to a realization of okay, I can't figure where it comes from...for most of us this urge can be from childhood neglect, rotten relationships, boredom, restrictive dieting, etc. etc. and for the most part I've experienced all of the above and some..

Sooo...what do to..well I visualized taking this urge and strangling it..yes, strangling it...I was so mad at it last night I did just that..

My fight is not with the food, but this invisible URGE...

So last night the battle was won, I had the victory..

I'm sure there will be plenty of these battles ahead...

I have established the habit last time I was on No S, but the urge won that time.

K, I'm being silly to some extent, but for the most part not.

So take a hold of that darn urge to eat and eat and eat..and do something drastic to it. verses

Good for you, Deb! What ever it takes...strangle it, mutilate it, beat it to an ugly pulp. Just get rid of it!! And every time we do this the easier it should get to beat it to an ugly pulp the next time!!

Yes, everytime you say NO the next NO is easier

Yep the more you say "no" to the urge, the easier it will get.
I totally feel "the urge" now so I've logged on at this minute...
Good to remind myself it's not worth it!
Good luck!

Hi

I don't know if this point of view would work for everyone, but as for me...

When I first read the NoSdiet website, and read about "gluttony" my eyes literally were opened to something I had never seen before. That yes my overindulgence in food was in fact a sin for me! Which means it is a temptation for me! (not everyone is tempted in the same ways in life). I have an actuall enemy to fight now! It's not some mysterious strange desire to destroy myself & self sabotage my weight loss goals. To me it is sin and needs to be licked!! With much prayer & "fasting" (in between meals î…) and even with the enjoyment of food on the weekends (as not to become legalistic) I believe this battle can & will be won. And even if I don't loose all the weight I want I think that that is more important to mee!!

God bless

This is not silly at all. This is incredibly insightful. You have identified that the desire/urge is so strong yet so amorphous. It is just a vague sense of anxiety not necessarily related to anything else, but just a sense that I am supposed to EAT. Yet it has to be a mistake because I'm NOT HUNGRY. But it's so strong. And yet, it's not as intense as pain. It's just incredibly annoying. The pain is in wishing it would go away.

I usually blather on about neurochemicals and waiting it out, but mental imagery is VERY SMART. I would say it's genius. Your intense desire and complete frustration with this is really bringing out the creativity in you. It's been used at major treatment centers for serious disease for decades. Patients who were taught to imagine knights in armor attacking killer cells or other imagery of their choice responded better to chemical therapies. I think if I were better at visualizing, I would use it, too. In fact, I think I will.

I think the imagery thing is a brilliant idea! I wonder why I never thought of it before. I really like the thought of "defeating the baddie" in this case the craving! The knights in shining armor coming to the rescue.... brilliant! Yeah, this could be a very powerful tool.

Thanks!!

I love the imagery!
When I used to see a therapist for eating disorders in college I remember one powerful thing he said that really helped. He compared my e.d. (bulimia/binge eating at the time) to an abusive boyfriend. He was kind to me, soothed me and served a purpose at a time, but then would beat me and make me feel bad. But then always come crawling back again and for some reason, I would feel like this was the last night it would happen.
He said that in recovery he thought I was keeping "the boyfriend's" phone number in my back pocket "just in case" and that I needed to throw it away.
Just a thought that helped me. To personify this "demon".
Hope it helps a tad.

I've seen the disorder actually called "Ed." (eating disorder) I now remember having a book, one of the few I didn't completely read, that was all visualization techniques to combat overeating. There was a dragon on the cover. I imagine the recommendation was to fight the dragon, not become it.

I got a little chill with the analogy to the phone number in the back pocket. Oh, poop, I've got that number. I do call it on weekends, but I've trained him not to beat me. I think I've turned the tables. I am definitely using him! I think this is called denial. Busted! I still love the guy. This is unusual, as I m normally very good at getting rid of men.

I'd also like to keep my options open to include strangling, and for that, I think it's best to keep the urge out of the human realm. AMorphous URge ENtity- strangle the amuren. It's an option. Hmm. I think I might play with this and put it on the catchphrase thread.

Of course, all the left-brainers or those who just overeat as a mild habit are going to be thinking, what's all the fuss? Ignore it! Get a life!


And some days, that works, too.

Trying to think of what the URGE can stand for:

U - Untimely
R - Response
G - Greatly
E - Exaggerated


Can you think of something better than what I have?

No, that's pretty good. In fact, it's helping me right this second as I am getting ready to see my accountant on Friday. I won't owe the government, but mostly because I've lost so much on real estate.

Wait, change exemplified to exaggerated?

This is so insightful... I think I'll read the posts over again.
Habit slowly dissolves urge. Really! And strict repetition creates habit.
Gluttony has been defined since the beginning. Even Adam and Eve had to go and eat that darn fruit.

Love it...exaggerated it is!!!! Because it certainly is....

Up
Run
Go
Exit

oh my goodness reneew, this is a great one.....!!!!! love it...so creative and right to the point..

Habit really will calm down urges. Once you convince yourself that snacks/sweets/seconds are not OK it does get easier. There are a couple of reasons for this.

In the End of Overeating, Dr. David Kessler points to research that shows that cigarette smokers feel a reduced urge to smoke in locations where they know it is impossible, like in an airplane or smoke free building. The urge will return as they get closer to the time where they are allowed to smoke. You need to deep down convince yourself that no, snacks or sweets are NOT ok.

Also, Baumeister and Tierny (Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength) discuss research that indicates we only have so much will power and this will power (or self regulation as scientists call it) is the same whether we are expending it on making ourselves exercise or staying on task to complete a project at work.

One of the things that depletes our self regulation is decision making. So if you already have decided that you are not going to snack/eat sweets or have seconds, then that leaves you with just that much more will power for resisting the urge to indulge.

Well, there is theory and then there is praxis...

But it's true. Dovetails with Judith Beck advising "dieters" to actually write out an index card or carry one from her book that says NO CHOICE. Usually, once the decision is made, it is easier. Some people use this as a reason to swear off sugar forever. They claim once it's truly not an option, they get over it. Maybe it's a sign of my attachment, but I'm not willing to do that one.

But I find there are some days when it is harder to make that CHOICE. I see now it does make sense when it is on days when I am having to very much control (read willpower) whether I start to feel panic over certain problems coming to a head. My fails in the last couple of months have come on days when I had deadlines and students were not coming through, but I was not allowed to drop them from the program, and yesterday on money issues, situations that reminded me of some big losses I've had that I keep thinking I'm over but then see I am not. I choose to forgive myself on this, mostly because the mistake has been made. I wish I could say I am 100% committed to holding steady forever now, but I cannot tell a lie.

"One of the things that depletes our self regulation is decision making. So if you already have decided that you are not going to snack/eat sweets or have seconds, then that leaves you with just that much more will power for resisting the urge to indulge." from NoSnacker.

I love this because it reminds me to make decisions ahead of time on how I will react to situations that are not necessarily automatic. For instance, I'm leaving town next week for a week. Vacation means eating out and loads of dessert. I'm going to have to decide ahead of time how I'm handling it.
Thanks for the reminder.

oolala53 wrote: I see now it does make sense when it is on days when I am having to very much control (read willpower) whether I start to feel panic over certain problems coming to a head. My fails in the last couple of months have come on days when I had deadlines and students were not coming through, but I was not allowed to drop them from the program, and yesterday on money issues, situations that reminded me of some big losses I've had that I keep thinking I'm over but then see I am not. I choose to forgive myself on this, mostly because the mistake has been made. I wish I could say I am 100% committed to holding steady forever now, but I cannot tell a lie.

None of us know the future. But we are all setting ourselves up for better odds.

I'll post a summary of Baumeister's book later on how to improve your will power.

If I may be so bold, Blithe Morning, do you think you could add your report of Baumeister here? (BTW, none of the icons/code thingies on No S work for me, so I hope you'll cut and paste this link the the thread I started on his book.)

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=8441

Or not!

TX. I guessed and used "unnecessary." Both work.

In case this works for anybody else (and I've had my ups and downs), I tend to think of my urge as a part of me that needs love, and it is like a kid who throws tantrums or rebels or sneaks when it does not get attention or love. It always thinks of food first, because that's the easiest most convenient habit, but if I feel it pulling on my leg, I am reminded that I need some attention, whether it be a pedicure, a bath, two minutes of quiet, a nice cup of tea and a book, a few deep breaths, or tending to a list of things I always need to do but don't get around to because I'm poking through the fridge or cabinets instead of folding towels. I actually have a list that I keep of very short stress-busters or easy chores that I can direct myself to.

This kinda works for me. I know when I'm between meals looking in the fridge, I really am looking for something -- it's just not food. I often say to myself, aloud "what you're really looking for cannot be found in the fridge."

finallyfull:
that's a brilliant way to think of the "urge". using it for good to check out what's REALLY going on there.
i had a major fail last night. but if i had just listened to myself instead of giving in, i would have realized i was tired and needing to relax. instead, i nervously ate while doing PTA stuff, emails i was dreading, etc.
yikes. and this morning the payoff STUNK! i HATE the nights post-binge. if i could just remember that!
thanks for the idea about the child needing attention. great visual.

I've come to the conclusion that I am expecting a sweetness to life that I used to look to food to fill. These days, I can usually shift my thinking (that life isn't sweet enough in the moment of the URGE) and see that things are actually usually fine, even when there's trouble. I'm okay in that moment and most of the problems or feelings of discontent are just an illusion. This is what I use when I'm not in a position to do those relaxing things like a foot rub or even just curling up and resting my eyes.