Trying Again...Maybe

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:23 pm

Hello all! I tried No S after my mother bought the book from Amazon. It was an amazing read and seemed very doable. After a few months I gave up on it. It was hard to make it work for me... I have so many bad habits.

I found out I have hypothyroidism. After starting medication as well as working at Kings Island (an amusement park for those of you who aren't in my area!) I lost 25 pounds. I was 170-175 on a 5'2" frame. I was still big... curvy as I like to call it, and I felt great. But the winter months rolled in and I gained it all back... I'm back at my heaviest of 192-195 again. I feel better than the first time I was this heavy, simply because I am not as depressed and my wonderful boyfriend/fiance-to-be loves me for me and makes me feel beautiful.

But, I still don't feel good physically. I stare at my coworkers as they move about our ride; bending, reaching, pulling, running... how beautiful they look. I don't want to be as skinny as some of those girls, but I'd like to be a more "normal" weight. A point at which I can move freely and feel good physically and emotionally.

I am so scared to try No S... I have read a book called Fed Up! by Wendy Oliver Pyatt that talks about learning to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are satiated but not stuffed. It is a great concept especially if you don't have a constant schedule... but it is very challenging. Part of me wants to try No S... but I am scared of failure, I am scared of being extremely hungry between meals, I am sad to give up fun treats like having an iced coffee in the afternoon just because.... I feel silly for it, but I feel like I would have to give up things I love in order to lose weight.

I apologize for the lengthy post and I hope some of you will endure it and offer your advice and exepriences! I am holding back tears as I write this. I need an answer, I just don't know what the answer is for me.

Thank you for reading!

Christine · Post by **Christine** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:58 pm

Hi Sarahkay,

I'm a newbie, hardly qualified to give you a great answer, but I just had to say that I'm scared too. I have a fear of being hungry, have a very distorted body image, and it seems that the book that you read (Fed Up) just seems like the usual doctor's advice and completely impossible for us folks who have no idea about what moderation is. I say, try No S and we'll get through it together. Just think -- it's the most sensible thing in the world, three meals a day, no snacks, no seconds, no sweets. What could be more "NO DUH" than that? Maybe you were still fighting the simplicity of this when you had such a hard time with it before. I have been through every diet in the world, yo-yo'ed *many* times, and finally actually lost about 65 pounds successfully with another meal-replacement diet, but guess what -- it didn't teach me moderation. I've been going thru hell trying to keep the weight off for four years now and still haven't learned how to eat the way everybody's been eating for millennia. I honestly think this is my last and only chance because I think it is exactly the right way for humans to eat. Oh, and let's not get into the details of that, you know, no paleo hunter-gatherer blah blah blah -- *civilized* people are who I'm talking about. Don't cry. I know, I have been through it too -- let's do this thing!

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:13 pm

maybe you're right. I just want to feel normal again. I'm not talking stick-thing (gross!) I just want to be myself... I remember a time when I was a healthy weight... I still had curves and meat on my bones, but I was "normal". Normal clothes fit, I was attractive, and I felt good physically when I moved. I want that again!

I admire your determination! I have never yoyoed simply because I have never stuck to any diet!!! But I definitely know what it feels like to be miserable as you try to lose weight!

Okay let's do this! I'm giving it all I got today! Best of luck to us both!

Starting Point: size 16/18, 193.2 lbs

Dale · Post by **Dale** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:58 pm

Hi Sarah. I've tried the thing of eating when hungry and stopping when satiated and I couldn't get it to work for me. For instance, I know from experience that I should eat breakfast, but I don't feel hungry in the early morning. By the time I'm hungry I'm often at work and can't eat. I think it's difficult to do a diet like that if you don't have access to food throughout the day.

I also find that I can feel satiated too early on, when I haven't eaten enough. Maybe I'm just not good at judging it.

I don't often feel hungry between meals on No S, but I do make sure to eat plenty at each meal.

I watched a BBC Horizon programme a while ago called "The Truth about Fat". One thing that was mentioned was that fat people's hormone levels are different, meaning that they feel slightly hungry most of the time, and never quite feel full, instead of getting the extremes of full and hungry that thin people get. If that's true, it might be difficult for "intuitive" eating to work for us - we just don't know intuitively when to eat and when to stop eating.

Christine · Post by **Christine** » Tue May 01, 2012 2:35 pm

Hey Sarah, how're you doing today? I had a questionable weekend of S-days but doing well yesterday and today. Hungry as anything but I looooove the structure that takes away my *bad* choices and forces me to do the right thing. Dale, I saw that programme too and it was very enlightening. I have always wanted to eat intuitively, but it eludes me still. I *really* hope and believe this way of eating, I hesitate to call it a "diet" because to me it is simply regaining normalcy, will make me successful in doing that.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Tue May 01, 2012 4:14 pm

hey! yesterday was not so great... I'm not sure if I really want to do this. Despite being very simple and normal, I still feel very much on a diet and I can't hardly stand it!

Yesterday was weird too because of when food was available to me and when I was hungry. I feel so sad when I can't have something I'd like to have when I want it. I also feel very deprived without sweets. I usually have a little something sweet every day... even if it's small. It helps curb my sweet tooth. I broke down last night in tears and talked to my boyfriend about it all. He is very encouraging and reminds me that I don't "have" to do this, that I am beautiful and loved the way that I am. I just... I don't know. Where did my enthusiasm from yesterday go?

I know it isn't supposed to be super easy, but I feel like I just can't do it. Maybe I'm not ready to start making a change yet?

Dale · Post by **Dale** » Tue May 01, 2012 5:09 pm

I've only been trying No S for a few weeks, but it has got easier as time goes on. One thing that helped me was remembering that I had to eat a good amount at each meal if it was going to get me through to the next one. It seems that it's more important to establish the habit than it is to control the amount that you're eating at the beginning.

I didn't try this, but you could try doing one "s" for a week (e.g. no snacks, or no sweets) and then add the rest in later. Maybe that would work better for you?

You can have sweet drinks like orange juice or milk (hot milk tastes sweeter to me than cold). I know that they are probably too high calorie to drink much of in the long term but they might help when trying to establish the habit (if you had some milk between meals instead of succumbing to a sweet treat).

I've found that I've got into a routine of three meals a day and it isn't hard to stick to now. I don't feel deprived in between meals. (And there's always the S days to look forward to

). I don't know how it will work for me long-term, but at the moment it's become routine. Good luck!

Your boyfriend sounds lovely

.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Tue May 01, 2012 8:43 pm

Thank you, he truly is.

I thought about trying one no s at a time like you said. I'm going to see how the next few days go. I liked the idea about milk and orange juice. I LOVE orange juice, and that may actually help a lot. I will definitely try that! Especially with the warmer weather coming in, a cold glass of orange juice might do the trick

So you feel like it got easier after a few weeks? That is encouraging, I just hope I make it that long haha!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 01, 2012 9:06 pm

Sarah, I gently suggest you might feel deprived no matter what changes you try to make. You are going to have to confront the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want whenever you have an urge. We have a thread here about URGE- untimely response greatly exaggerated. The only way people feel really deprived is when they are actually starving themselves or kidding themselves. I can tell you as someone who binged for DECADES (and am happily on No S for over two years, the two best eating years of life since I was 18), it is also depriving ourselves when we never get to feel what it is like to eat consistently moderately. To feel peppy and vital and free. To get joyously hungry and savor food that tastes so delicious! To finish a meal and later feel content and peaceful. The problem is you have to live it for awhile to get it, and you do have to go through withdrawal. "Deprived" is just an illusion your brain invents about not getting its fix. It is temporary. And if you are really honest with yourself, you will see that it is tolerable. It is not as terrible as we make it out to be. It is less painful than a toothache or headache. It is, however, a very anxious feeling that is unpleasant to bear. But that's all it is. Unpleasant. I'm telling you, you will gain such a feeling of power if you face this down. It will not all be over in a few weeks or even a few months, but overeating is one of the most stubborn habitst to overcome and is worth every white knuckle moment. I don't believe that about sticking to 1400-calorie a day diets. But sticking to three generous-to-moderate meals absolutely is.

I, too, rarely was able to stick to diets but when you eat for over 50 years, you can get through a few of them. This is absolutely the best deal out there.

And intuitive eating has failed for so many people that I consider it almost as disappointing as traditional diets. I've never known of anyone who succeeded at it unless she was an artist, writer, or the boss, meaning someone who had complete discretion over her time and could thus eat when she wanted. I''ve also noticed that thin people can eat on a schedule and don't have to wait until the moment of eating to decide what to eat.

Okay, hope you feel bolstered. Read the testimonial pages, the No S phases, the catch phrases, etc. Get some religion here, girl! I feel very good about recommending No S.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 01, 2012 9:30 pm

Just had to comment on Oliver-Pratt. If she is who I think she is, she talks like she invented the idea that women are media brainwashed and that eating when hungry, etc. is the bomb. Susie Orbach was talking about women rebelling against thin ideals and many oppressive ideas against women way before Wendy even thought about going to med school. Geneen Roth did much the same, too, long enough ago that Pratt could have availed herself of her writing and insights, too.

Even if you try intutitive eating, you can't just eat when you have desire. You have to be HUNGRY. And it can take a long time to get hungry, sometimes longer than between regular meals. Can you wait 9 or 10 hours between meals? When I eat for hunger on weekends, it sometimes goes that long.

No S is the best of both worlds. Moderate meals on weekdays. Intuitive eating on weekends, if you choose.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Tue May 01, 2012 9:33 pm

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate you being honest but gentle! haha!

I do completely agree that I need to tough through it at first. I just have never been very good at that and I guess I'm scared of what it might be like on the other side! But really, it couldn't be any worse than this side of the fence right? So it's worth a shot. And just by looking at this board, it is definitely worth it!

Thanks again. I think I needed that.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Wed May 02, 2012 12:39 am

She certainly isn't the first to address those issues. I used to eat that way when I was thin my freshman year of high school. My one "thin year" as I call it.

But at this point in my life I can't do that anymore. I get very frustrated waiting several hours. I think I'm wanting it to be easy and it won't be. At first. It will get better I think. And this is much more sane... Mom and I talked about weight watchers before... no way. I don't know how people can stick to something so strict!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed May 02, 2012 11:32 pm

Regarding WW and how people can stick to something so strict-- most can't or don't in the long run.

If you read some of the older check in threads, you'll see that some people evolve to actually eating very small meals, almost like diet meals, but not because they're diet meals. It's because they get full on less.