Another newby and really wanting to commit...

Gobble · Post by **Gobble** » Tue May 01, 2012 2:22 am

....but feeling so weak. NoS makes so much sense. I'm going to try to give it my best for 21 days. I'll be going on a little vacation too, so it won't be easy.

This is my plan to make it not seem so impossible.....

1. I'm going to start out with a normal size plate then maybe after a week or two I will reduce my plate size.

2. I am going to make my weekend S days begin on Friday after dinner and end on Sunday at dinner.....because of Friday family night.

Those are my plans for now....then I may tweak it to S events instead of S days.

I tried the mindful eating but I can not trust myself to know when I am truly hungry and truly full. Maybe someday I will learn to listen to my body but I really need some structure and NoS gives that structure. Wish me luck....and any advice is welcome. Thanks.

JenD · Post by **JenD** » Tue May 01, 2012 1:29 pm

Newbie,
Sounds like you need a lot of leeway here. I hope it all works out. I just started last Wednesday and am finding myself at peace, not fighting it. I think the first time you face down (not you in particular, but a general you) the first time you actually show yourself that you will not die if you do not eat at the first twinge of hunger, it's very freeing. Sometimes I have long periods where I can not eat my meal and I am making it through just fine. Happy is the word I'd use... Let us hear from you.
JenD

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue May 01, 2012 3:46 pm

Sounds like a reasonable plan. Having said that, I wouldn't get smaller plates or tweak anything for at least several months -- and maybe longer. (With the exception of when you start your S days.)

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Tue May 01, 2012 4:00 pm

Be strict, gain the habbit, period. I'd say good luck, but luck is not involved, it's all your choice. Just do it!

Gobble · Post by **Gobble** » Tue May 01, 2012 4:24 pm

Thanks for the encouragement and advice. You don't know how helpful and encouraging just these three replies have been to me.

Okay, so I don't need to be in a hurry to change my plate size or tweak anything. I will remember that....and thank you for suggesting that....it could be the thing that helps me build the habit.

Love your comments, Reneew......HABIT and CHOICE.....JUST DO IT! It really is that simple.

And, yes, JenD....I remember reading somewhere that HUNGER IS NEVER AN EMERGENCY.

I appreciate all the help I can get. And I am keeping a notebook with all these suggestions. Thanks so much.

JenD · Post by **JenD** » Tue May 01, 2012 7:14 pm

Believe me, finding out that my hunger was not an emergency was a revelation! I now think of it as my friend. I don't want to eat without it. Today, very odd, I had not done a grocery trip doing this no-s thingy. My usual habit was to come home and scarf things, anything, everything after the grocery. It was odd not to be able to do that. But fortunately, God smiled on me and got me a lunch invite. I just had such a nice thing to look forward to that it was okay that I wasn't eating junk. And I had one plate of food (very good Indian food) and then my host announced "Let's get dessert!" and I sort of sat there woodenly. But it was all good. No one tried to pry! Thanks be to God! Now, happy, thirsty, but not hungry...
Keep up the good work and let us hear from you!
JenD

3-0-7 girl · Post by **3-0-7 girl** » Tue May 01, 2012 7:24 pm

I don't think the vacay will be all that hard. Just look at it like this is how you now eat. 3 times a day. No snacks. Have what you want at those meals. Easy

Gobble · Post by **Gobble** » Wed May 02, 2012 2:30 am

That is the great thing about NoS.....no room for excuses....3 meals of whatever everyone else is eating....simple....so no reason to cheat on vacation.

JenD....good for you!

I'm just going to take one meal at a time and rejoice in each victory. I'm really focusing on habit. I don't care if I don't lose weight for a while as long as I am developing the habit of NoS.

Love the encouragement here.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed May 02, 2012 6:13 am

I've been at this for 28 months and it IS the way to live. As you've gleaned, don't be in a hurry to get to eating the least you can. You will eat less as time goes on after hundreds of plates. To want to get it all figured out in a few weeks is diet-head. Not only are you learning something new, you are healing from the inside out in ways you will not be able to trace. It will show up as you go, after 6 months, after 12 months, etc., and you'll find you can't force it much, but you can ALLOW it, just be sticking to the principles and not fretting. A slow fix, but a fix nevertheless. Reinhard didn't even put it out there until he had been at it for FOUR years.

The great thing about No S is that you can be as busy as heck and still do it. You can live a rich, full life, you can have things go wrong, you can have relatives sick, you can go on vacation, and still eat three meals a day. And the more you fill your life with concerns outside of food, the better it will all get. Google Reinhard and see what else he is involved in. He has a LIFE outside of food and though he has been our savior, doesn't seem to let his identity ride on this stuff at all. Why would he? He has a LIFE. He doesn't refer to it much, but I'm convinced that the fact that he didn't feel his identity revolved around this was an advantage. I don't even know if he has thought about it. I just noticed it about him (and others who've been successful at this but who didn't turn in to personal trainers or something.)

OA's old motto used to be "three meals a day and LIFE in between." Totally doable.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Wed May 02, 2012 11:45 am

and you'll find you can't force it much, but you can ALLOW it

I really like that line, oolala....That is so very true! It can't be a job, it can't be drudgery. If a person makes it so then it has a good chance of getting tossed on the mountainous heap of discarded diets. This is NOT a diet! I've made it through my 21 day trial period and begin this week on my permanent journey...it's kind of exciting to know I don't have to think about dieting. I don't even really have to think all that much about food...such a great feeling! I am trying to cut back on carbs a bit this week and I'm trying to eat healthier foods. But that's just me...I don't have the best eating habits. This may be something you don't even really need to worry about. I'm concentrating instead on just plain living, getting on with my life. I try to not dwell on the journey ahead of me, as I have a longer one than most on here, but that's okay, too. It's hard to explain, but since I AM doing something about my weight, I don't have to admonish myself every time I pass a mirror. In other words....Don't let the IMAGE of you be the ESSENCE of you. We are all so much more than we appear to be on the surface. Good luck with your journey!

JenD · Post by **JenD** » Wed May 02, 2012 12:39 pm

Hey I am on Day 8 of the 21. What happens after that? I am very hopeful that there will be an "after that!" I think the reason people warn you not to tweak anything just yet is that our inner selves are very smart and they can smell a "diet" a mile away. So when you say to yourself, "I'll just have one piece of bread at lunch..." that inner self starts to go "Oh no! Here we go again!" But apparently there comes a time when you just without the "intention of dieting" don't take a second piece of bread. And no one is the wiser, no inner self's bells going off. Can anyone comment on the validity of this?
JenD

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed May 02, 2012 3:00 pm

JenD wrote:Hey I am on Day 8 of the 21. What happens after that? I am very hopeful that there will be an "after that!" I think the reason people warn you not to tweak anything just yet is that our inner selves are very smart and they can smell a "diet" a mile away. So when you say to yourself, "I'll just have one piece of bread at lunch..." that inner self starts to go "Oh no! Here we go again!" But apparently there comes a time when you just without the "intention of dieting" don't take a second piece of bread. And no one is the wiser, no inner self's bells going off. Can anyone comment on the validity of this?
JenD

The importance of 21 days is that it supposedly takes 21 days to make a new habit. Personally, I found that it took much longer than 21 days for this to become habit -- it was more like a year. After the first 21 days, you just keep doing what you've been doing.

Not tweaking or making modifications is also more about building the habits than anything else. As I recall, when Reinhard developed this system, he didn't have any experience with "dieting", so he had no diet habits or mentality to let go of or relearn -- or UNlearn.

I unintentionally (and unknowingly) modified this from the first day. I somehow missed the one plate rule, and had one serving of whatever was being served at a meal. By the time I realized there was a one plate rule, about a year later, I couldn't see any reason to change what I was doing. It was not only working well for me, it had become my habit. I rarely have seconds at any time now.

Gobble · Post by **Gobble** » Wed May 02, 2012 6:32 pm

"You will eat less as time goes on after hundreds of plates."

This is great!

Really love you all's conversations here! Love the thought of working on habit, habit, habit and the less will come later.

It kills me when people say a certain diet doesn't work because when you go off you gain it all back. That is why it MUST be a way of eating and not a diet. I suppose after 53 years of eating wrong that it will take a few plates before I eat less consistently.

Thanks for the encouragement. I love it!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed May 02, 2012 10:04 pm

Yes, Jen, most people who stick with it eventually find themselves eating less food, IF they are intent on being sensitive to their needs and not just insisting that if they can have a plate of food, they can have a plate of anything. Reinhard says the limit to three plates should help people be aware that they have only those three chances each day to get what they know they need. However, if a person month after month chooses a double cheeseburger and super fries or the equivalent because they fit on the plate, whether that stuffs them and they never get hungry or not... well. Let's not jump ahead. You have to live it to really feel the effects and get out of theory. Theory is what diets are all about. But waking up every day to see if you want to eat less that day is as bad as pulling the seed out of the ground to see if it's growing. Give it a few months, not weeks! If there's anything I wish had been left out fo the book, it's the 21-day things. It takes years to firmly establish new eating habits. Your odds are just better with No S because it's based on guidelines, not calories. Yes, calorie counting has been effective, but realistically in a small minority of cases.

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Wed May 02, 2012 10:09 pm

wosnes wrote:
The importance of 21 days is that it supposedly takes 21 days to make a new habit. Personally, I found that it took much longer than 21 days for this to become habit -- it was more like a year. After the first 21 days, you just keep doing what you've been doing.

Not tweaking or making modifications is also more about building the habits than anything else. As I recall, when Reinhard developed this system, he didn't have any experience with "dieting", so he had no diet habits or mentality to let go of or relearn -- or UNlearn.

I unintentionally (and unknowingly) modified this from the first day. I somehow missed the one plate rule, and had one serving of whatever was being served at a meal. By the time I realized there was a one plate rule, about a year later, I couldn't see any reason to change what I was doing. It was not only working well for me, it had become my habit. I rarely have seconds at any time now.

I agree wholeheartedly with wosnes and Oolala in that it takes much longer than 21 days to build new habits. I believe that 21 days will put you on the right path to your new eating style, but don't be fooled into thinking that you won't overeat, binge, or have over-the-top S days after those 21 days. The first time I "fell off the wagon" following 21 days of compliance, I was devastated, which led to feeling like a failure, which led to searching for a new and better "diet," which led to even more failure, and then eventually back to NoS to try again. I first discovered NoS in April of 2007 and I have quit and restarted more times than I can recall or care to recall. Finally, at long last, I have found success with it. This time it stuck. Reinhard himself said that "success is the sum of many failures," and some folks have a dozen false starts before it sticks. Well, that's me...I guess I tended to be too much of a perfectionist and had years of dieting bad behavior and habits.
So, Gobble, I wish you much peace and success. Keep posting on the boards and let us know how you're doing.

Mimi

Everyday Systems

Another newby and really wanting to commit...

Another newby and really wanting to commit...

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