Need a morale boost NOW!

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Tue May 29, 2012 1:28 pm

I had two big ol' red days guys! I was doing so well!!

I wasn't in the usual panicked, I-wanna-binge mode when it happened... I calmly decided to eat a dessert, or to have a huge meal. There was no sudden urge to it. Just, "eh, I think I want this".

What happened?! Mom suggested time of the month? Any ladies experience this? I was HAPPY on No S... where did that go?

Somebody get me motivated fast! I am about to throw in the towel...

JayEll · Post by **JayEll** » Tue May 29, 2012 2:09 pm

Did this happen before the weekend? I guess it must have because on my calendar, I see three S-days in a row, Saturday through Monday (Memorial Day).

How long have you been doing No S? --Oh, never mind, I see by your profile.

Perhaps you're just testing the waters. Or perhaps you just need more practice in saying "No" to the "Eh, I think I want this."

Whatever the case, today is clearly an N-day unless it's your birthday! Just make a commitment to keep to No S today, no matter what.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Tue May 29, 2012 3:01 pm

I've been doing my S days on Friday and Saturday because of my schedule. So Sunday and Monday, N days for me, were not so good.

It's been about a month. I started back in 2010 but never actually developed any sort of habit, so this has been my first real month.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Tue May 29, 2012 5:05 pm

Woah woah don't panic! Ok you had two red days, ya know, that's ok, it happens. You're worried because you had a red day but didn't binge?!

One of the very best things about NoS is that having a red day doesn't mean you have to give up. You can sit down and try and figure out what happened, or not, but get right back on that wagon and focus on having a green day the next day. Remember you have only been at this a month - think how long you have been practising bad eating habits, it will take time to build up those good ones.

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Tue May 29, 2012 8:00 pm

I wouldn't consider two red days in a sea of green to be reason to throw in the towel--focus on celebrating your successes!!! IMO, you are doing WELL.

In the off-chance that you may find it helpful, take a look at my "Oops" accountability thread here: http://www.everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=8430

You will see that while I follow NoS, I don't do it perfectly--I seem to have plenty of "ooops" moments. I've never tried to join the 21 days club, but I doubt that I've had perfect compliance to join it but once or twice in the 3+ years since I adopted NoS principles.

However, at the same time, I just keep on, keeping on. I've never stopped NoSing. Thus, I'm down 55+ lbs and still losing (even though I'm within healthy BMI range).

Now that you've marked the red, MOVE ON. Today is a new day to get a green! You can do it!

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Tue May 29, 2012 8:30 pm

Brilliant advice, Vicki. I like your idea about not joining the 21=day club. Mainly for an all-or-nothing gal like me, if I have an "oops" and I'm off my 21 days, then I may make my "oops" really worth it!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue May 29, 2012 8:46 pm

I say this nearly every time someone writes about having a red day or falling off the wagon: why did you expect not to? Everyone has bad days now and again. It's not normal to be "perfect." You're aiming for progress, not perfection. Even after it becomes habit, you're going to have the occasional bad day -- or week. Don't worry about it. Just get back to the habits.

rungirl96 · Post by **rungirl96** » Tue May 29, 2012 9:23 pm

Good points. Maybe I had so many red days this past month because of my "all or nothing" thinking. Once I'm not perfect I throw in the towel. And I just joined the June Challenge thread. Maybe I need to unjoin? Learn to just take it one day at a time. Or some days one hour at a time!

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Wed May 30, 2012 12:07 am

"Why did you expect not to?" Love it, wosnes! That one's going in my journal!!

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Wed May 30, 2012 12:21 am

I have had several red days this month. And I just don't feel "into" No S anymore... I was really into it and when I had a red day I got right back on track. Now I just don't want to do it... I'm not sure why I just completely lost interest...

I can't quite explain what I'm feeling.

I want to lose weight, I want to feel in control around food, but I feel like I've been trying really hard to "talk myself into" the No S plan, and now my energy is just gone. I can't make myself believe I like it anymore. I enjoyed it, but I also did not enjoy the feeling of wanting more or not quite being satisfied and not able to get more. I hated missing out on delicious food with friends because it was a sweet.

I am being a baby, I know, but I used to be able to get back on the wagon. I don't know why it is so hard to do so now.

JayEll · Post by **JayEll** » Wed May 30, 2012 1:24 am

sarahkay wrote:...but I feel like I've been trying really hard to "talk myself into" the No S plan, and now my energy is just gone. I can't make myself believe I like it anymore.

I'm thinking that you shouldn't have to talk yourself into anything.

Perhaps it's time for you to explore some alternatives. Maybe you can find a program that will let you eat sweet foods whenever you feel like it and still lose weight and feel in control. If so, please let us know about it... If not, well, you can still decide to try the No S plan again.

Chance · Post by **Chance** » Wed May 30, 2012 2:19 am

I agree with JayEll in regards to talking yourself into anything. This is an exercise of will which usually means it may be time to take a strong look at what it is you actually want right now. No S is simply a system, an effective one, but like any system you have to use it to get any benefit.

There is an expression in recovery circles I believe, that is about picking up what you want, what works for you, and leaving the rest. No S is yours to modify or ditch. I can tell you that I modify it all the time, test, evaluate and repeat. This is based on my goals and desires at a given time.

The freedom I have experienced due to No S is learning how to use habit formation to make changes in my life instead of will.

Also, based on several of the comments above about falling off the wagon, Reinhard's last podcast dealt with the psychology of failure, I recommend checking it out if you haven't already.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Wed May 30, 2012 2:53 am

If I don't see results for a time period, I start to get frustrated and impatient. That little color of green on the habitcal really is a fun boost to my incentive and the ONLY thing that saves me from a "whatever" streak is to try for a strict streak to get me going again otherwise I get stuck in the I-really-don't-give-a-hoot-anymore mindset. The only way for the habit to catch on is if you are actually doing it.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed May 30, 2012 5:00 am

sarahkey, this is all part of the phases of most successful weight loss. A honeymoon and disillusionment are typical before surrender. Successful losers usually go through a period of disgruntledment and either live in some kind of misery for a period of time before finally accepting one way or another: accept their weight peacefully or accept the sacrifices it will take to change it. And the sacrifices on No S are mild.

I'm not sure I can say what you want to hear. I don't think you want to hear that one month is way too little time to give this process a real college try. That a few weeks of ease is no guarantee that the fight is over. In fact, it's not typical for the fight to be over then. But it is typical for people to want to get it all over in a few weeks or months.

What is typical is long term failure at traditional dieting. A 97% failure rate. Not only failure, but weight gain two years after starting a traditional diet. 97% of the time. That's worse than Russian roulette.

I tried to control my eating for 40 years with escalating problems before I committed to a year of No S. I knew I had to think in terms of a year because the truth is even that is short term. Whatever you do, you're going to have to do just about forever. The odds of doing something to lose weight and then do something else to maintain the weight is 3 in 100.

I very much encourage you to try to take a deep breath metaphorically and take it a meal at a time for now. Browse through the threads of those who gave up, left, and came back weighing more. Then I hope you decide to give yourself another chance.

sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Wed May 30, 2012 1:15 pm

Thank you so much guys.

As one of you called it, I had a "whatever" streak. It was rough. Don't know why I had it. But, I guess I can either move on or stay the same. And most likely I will gain. I also liked the idea of picking up what I like and leaving the rest. I really like No S... leaving sweets for the weekend is really hard for me... so maybe I will have to ease into that one slowly to avoid "whatever" streaks as much as possible.

Not sure what got into me... thanks for the reality check guys!

It's interesting to me that after 3 red days in a row, I still was only up one pound because I ddin't overdo it THAT much. Because I'm more aware of what I'm doing thanks to No S. That in itself is an accomplishment, is it not?

Thank you again. Here's to a new, GREEN day!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed May 30, 2012 2:12 pm

I think there must be hundreds of variations of No-S -- most of them practiced by people who have never heard of No-S. It's the way they eat naturally. Whether it's vanilla No-S or something similar that you devise, find a moderate way of eating and stick to it.

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Wed May 30, 2012 2:13 pm

sarahkay, I have been NoEssing since April of 2007 and during that time I have been derailed by vacations and other obstacles...but I made it through some of the toughest times of my life: a severe dog attack, a badly broken ankle, the death of my beloved mother-in-law and then losing my dear 13-year-old cat Cindy. I have learned much during this time and the only time I strayed for long was in the third year when I let my failures overpower my green days and then I just gave up for almost 6 months. As a result, I gained back the 20+ pounds I had lost - just as Oolala mentioned. For the most part during all this time, I was learning to maintain and establish habit...phase one of NoS. I truly believe that. I guess I'm a slow learner!
I returned last July with a new resolve to make this work for me and finally loose the excess weight and enter a healthy BMI range. I bought the Judith Beck book The Beck Diet Solution and have been working on my thought process along with using NoS.
At this point I am able to accept and acknowledge my shortcomings and slip-ups, but no longer succumb to them by overeating, overreacting, or completely chucking my eating endeavors overall. This is monumental for me and a total breakthrough. I have never been able to handle my failures. I also had to look again at the meaning of S days and how they were intended to be used. There was a lot of soul-searching to be done on my part.
I am now at a 22 pound loss. It has been quite a journey. It has been quite a learning experience. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't happened overnight. So, you, too, can do it, but you really have to make up your mind that it is what you want to do and then commit to the work it will take. You must also embrace the fact that you will "fall off the wagon" by having red days. That's just part of it.
Best wishes in your NoS journey!

Mimi

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Wed May 30, 2012 3:06 pm

What I always remind myself of during a bad day is what is the alternative? If I don't do NoS the likelihood is I won't do anything at all! I'd much rather be following NoS and have the odd day where I eat more than I planned than just eat randomly (and usually excessively) every day of the week!

For some people the alternative would be a restrictive calorie/point counting diet - that works for some people but most on the NoS board have come here because it hasn't been sustainable.

Remember that losing weight isn't always going to be sunshine and kittens, but it's working through those tough times and learning what works that helps us improve our eating habits long term

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sarahkay · Post by **sarahkay** » Wed May 30, 2012 7:36 pm

this is all so true. thank you all! I feel better today. It was a little tough in the afternoon but once I got through it, I felt like "Okay, back to normal. This feels good."

I went back and looked at my habitcal, and i think green still overpowers the red...

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Thu May 31, 2012 3:17 am

Sooo sooo happy to come on here this evening and read this very supportive thread! Feel better already cos I was in a bit of a funk (long boring story - been sick for a few days and feeling fed up of my extra weight although I haven't weighed for almost a week... guess this is somewhat of a triumph for me -

Thanks again guys for your marvellous posts!

Too solid flesh · Post by **Too solid flesh** » Thu May 31, 2012 2:29 pm

milliem wrote:What I always remind myself of during a bad day is what is the alternative?

Me, too. I know of no other weight loss plan I would consider following even for the short term, let alone the long term.

YMMV

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:21 pm

Two red days in your first month is normal. You haven't developed habits yet, so you're still relying on conscious effort to keep yourself following the rules. It's easier when you've been following the rules for a while and they become more automatic. And new food rules do become automatic after a while.

sarahkay wrote:I hated missing out on delicious food with friends because it was a sweet.

Feeling like you're missing out or being deprived of something when you're just starting No S is normal. I had just waves of resentment when I would finish my plate at dinner and then couldn't have any more to eat. That started probably about 3 weeks in, and didn't go away for a couple of months. Some of us aren't always going to like following the No S rules (I suspect nobody actually likes following the rules all the time). It's not being a baby or being weaker than most people, it's just that you don't see these feelings when other people have them.