Why.....

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:57 am

.....is it when others start noticing my weight loss is when I start sabatoging myself. This weight thing has been a life long battle for me. I have noticed over time that this is the case for me. You would think it would encourage me to spur myself on, but it seems to do the opposite for me! WHY?? Perhaps if I can understand the "why" of this I can prevent it from happening again! Any ideas??

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Jul 20, 2012 12:46 pm

Hi ZippaDee,

I totally get where you're coming from! For me it's usually one of two things. These were pre-NoS and I really hope it won't happen this time:

1) I think I deserve a treat after all of my efforts (which is the start of one long binge that has me go unconscious of my diet for weeks).

2) I've gotten comfortable with being the big girl in the group. It's a social role, my comfort zone, and related to that - I know how to do it. What I don't know is what happens when I reach my goal that I carried with me for a decade now. So I guess this can be summed up as: fear of new terrain. This one I'll be sure to encounter so being aware helps.

Hope that helps. Looking forward to reading other people's.

noni · Post by **noni** » Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:54 pm

ZippaDee, perhaps compliments or the extra attention makes you uncomfortable. It does me. That's why I don't mind the slowness of weight loss with No S; it's not so noticeable with frequently seen people. Maybe we don't think we deserve the positive attention. But I like your bottom line:
JUST DO IT!!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:54 pm

I felt something like this, but my explanation might not work for you. I determined when I started No S that my main aim was to reduce my bingeing and I have. I also lost around 30 lbs. I think I feel a little funny about people assuming I've done this just to lose weight. I'm glad I have and proud, but it's not my only incentive or even the main one. I'm not ultra thin and many people coming to No S weigh less than I do when they start! I guess subconsciously, I don't want to think people are monitoring me or judging how I eat, approving only when weight loss happens. I plan to keep it up, regardless, and even though I've been going through a rough patch.

Over43 · Post by **Over43** » Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:44 am

I do that as well. I seem to get to a certain weight and then I climb back up.

Jethro · Post by **Jethro** » Sat Jul 21, 2012 5:34 pm

Remember that weight loss usually is not linear. You always experience peaks and valleys. I have.

Concentrate on compliance with NOS and you'll be OK.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:30 pm

Thanks everyone for your comments!

I've been thinking about what it is with me and I think Oolala is close when she says this:

I don't want to think people are monitoring me or judging how I eat, approving only when weight loss happens

I'm having kind of an "ahh ha" moment here. I remember several years back when I had lost a significant amount of weight....60 pounds....and everyone kept commenting on it. I mean I had put forth a lot of effort to get to that point and it was my goal to lose weight. I did it with weight watchers. Obviously I was happy about it, but I found myself getting annoyed with the comments! I KNOW people were being kind, but I was truly getting irritated. As Noni said, I do NOT like to be the center of attention. That is true. And, that was part of it. But, I think a big part of it is that I feel (I know these feelings are not likely justified) judged that once I start losing and looking better that I am now worthy of praise and aknowldegment and without the weight loss I am not. Does that make sense? Back when I lost a significant amount of weight, my weight was often the first topic of conversation. And with weight watchers my food and the diet was on my mind constantly! And, I was weary of having this the center of attention in my life! And then to have my weight loss one of the main topics of conversation. Well, blech!

This is one of the things I truly LOVE about NoS is that my focus is off the food and onto my life. YES!! This is about living my life in peace. I feel soooo much better eating like this! Pounds lost is a bonus! And, no one knows I am on a "diet" (hate to call it that!). It's about being happy, healthy and at peace!

I plan on keeping this up for ME! For my freedom and peace and health!

I think I'm starting to understand myself better. I'm complicated!

Thanks!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jul 21, 2012 9:39 pm

Yes, you refined what I was thinking. It just seems a shame in a way that weight loss has taken on this significance, and it is rarely related to its real values; health and peace of mind. I often imagine some housewife in India most of whose existence is focused on having food and shelter for her family. If somehow she were chunky, and it is possible, how much of her time would such a concern merit? I sometimes think weight concerns are the privilege of the middle class.

The focus is on how weight loss appears. And I know that down deep the attachment to that kind of approval is a trap. I mean, are heavy people not supposed to feel a sense of worth? Pshaw!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:50 pm

If somehow she were chunky, and it is possible, how much of her time would such a concern merit? I sometimes think weight concerns are the privilege of the middle class.

I think it also has a great deal to do with all the media images we are constantly fed - on screen, in print, and virtually everywhere we look. Beauty and success are equated with weight and thiness. So, so sad...

I am so glad that you have found peace with NoS, Zippadee, so that you can keep on focusing on your life instead of food.

Mimi

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sun Jul 22, 2012 7:39 pm

The first time I lost weight, I was in my early 20's and single. I suddenly started getting male attention that hadn't come my way before...and I was furious about it. (Oh, so now I'm worthy of your notice. Obviously not my personality that interests you.)

I dated someone primarily because he was interested in me before I lost the weight. Not the best reason, and the relationship was a fiasco.

It took a while for me to feel comfortable in my own skin, and to disregard other opinions.

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 12:32 pm

Jethro wrote:Remember that weight loss usually is not linear. You always experience peaks and valleys. I have.

Concentrate on compliance with NOS and you'll be OK.

Exactly. Stay the course. One cannot do right and go wrong.