A Major Revelation in My Thinking
Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:46 pm
Hi all! I've been No Sing since Aug 10th and I wasn't going to get on the scale until next Friday but....when I woke up this morning, I looked fairly thin in the mirror (I have all kinds of signs I look for like how well I can see my collar bones and my cellulite LOL)--so I figured what the hell--I'll just get on and see where I am. Knowing full well that my biggest cheat was on Sunday which was just 2-3 days ago. Well, I was 175.2...up 2 lbs from early last week.
So you might think I freaked out and got upset--except I didn't--not at all. And I know why. Over the past week and half of doing No S, I have had a sense of calm and happiness about me that was definitely missing before. The last two nights I have made awesome dinners and all three of my boys have commented on how incredible they were. This made me feel beyond good since my boys are the center of my universe. These dinners weren't anything super special, but I did take time with choosing what to make and found real pleasure in eating them WITH the boys as opposed to eating my own food while serving them something else that I couldn't eat. I am finding myself looking forward to making dinner now and savoring my one plate...WITH the rest of my family.
After the past few weeks, I think I am really coming to the realization that I've been chasing some number on a scale that may not be attainable for myself (funny enough, I remember being 175 when I got pregnant with #3 after losing all my baby weight from baby #2). And when I really dig deep and ask myself why it's SO important to be a size 12 (which is pretty thin for my large boned body) instead of a healthy size 14, a lot of the answer has to do with trying to make my ex feel like he made a mistake by leaving me (btw--his fiance that he left me for is maybe 90lbs soaking wet! LOL). This is clearly not a good or healthy reason to make myself live a miserable, food-obsessed life!
So all this to say that I value my happiness WAY more than I value what the scale says or what size jeans I am wearing. This isn't to say that I'm going to let myself go or start eating crappy man-made food--I'm still just going to keep following No S and eat real food, made mostly by me and let my body settle where it's happy. I have also been walking outside every day for 30-40 minutes and I think that has made a difference in my outlook also. If I'm exercising and eating real, whole foods and I settle at 175, then so be it.
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH DIETING!!!!!
So you might think I freaked out and got upset--except I didn't--not at all. And I know why. Over the past week and half of doing No S, I have had a sense of calm and happiness about me that was definitely missing before. The last two nights I have made awesome dinners and all three of my boys have commented on how incredible they were. This made me feel beyond good since my boys are the center of my universe. These dinners weren't anything super special, but I did take time with choosing what to make and found real pleasure in eating them WITH the boys as opposed to eating my own food while serving them something else that I couldn't eat. I am finding myself looking forward to making dinner now and savoring my one plate...WITH the rest of my family.
After the past few weeks, I think I am really coming to the realization that I've been chasing some number on a scale that may not be attainable for myself (funny enough, I remember being 175 when I got pregnant with #3 after losing all my baby weight from baby #2). And when I really dig deep and ask myself why it's SO important to be a size 12 (which is pretty thin for my large boned body) instead of a healthy size 14, a lot of the answer has to do with trying to make my ex feel like he made a mistake by leaving me (btw--his fiance that he left me for is maybe 90lbs soaking wet! LOL). This is clearly not a good or healthy reason to make myself live a miserable, food-obsessed life!
So all this to say that I value my happiness WAY more than I value what the scale says or what size jeans I am wearing. This isn't to say that I'm going to let myself go or start eating crappy man-made food--I'm still just going to keep following No S and eat real food, made mostly by me and let my body settle where it's happy. I have also been walking outside every day for 30-40 minutes and I think that has made a difference in my outlook also. If I'm exercising and eating real, whole foods and I settle at 175, then so be it.
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH DIETING!!!!!