Everyday Systems

A little over a year ago, my ex boyfriend dumped me. I did anything and everything to do the best things for myself after that point, and in order to keep myself moving in the right direction and do so with confidence that I would succeed, I came up with a mantra that I would repeat to myself three or four times every morning, either as I looked in the mirror and smiled or as I stood outside and felt the cool air and felt the gentle breeze embrace me. It went something like this:

"I am smart, confident, happy, and healthy. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like me. I do not chase men, I let them chase me. My ex must chase ME if he doesn't want to lose the best catch."

He and I never dated again, but this mantra saved my skin from insanity and allowed me to heal in a mature and productive way, all while learning how to love myself and boost my self-esteem. In all honesty, this mantra is the reason I lost a whole bunch of weight last year--I decided that I have an irresistible sense of humor, personality, etc. and I owed it to myself to allow my outer appearance to reflect my inner wonders.

I'm wondering if any of you have anything like this, or if anyone had any suggestions on what mine should be like.

I think we should always be striving to better ourselves, whatever that entails. For must of us, our current state of improving ourselves reflects the goal of becoming healthier individuals. While I'm on the topic, let me thank all of you for being so supportive--my online community; my ever-so-understanding family. (: I honestly don't know how I survived without you guys.

I don't have a mantra, but I like yours.

I don't have one single mantra, but I have a selection that I use. I write in a journal a couple of times a week, and always end with 10 affirmations. I also have my personal "rules of adulthood" that I try to use.

Examples
- Recognize choice. (Anytime I catch myself saying "I HAVE to," that's a red flag for me!)
- Savor moments of beauty, joy, and connection (a reminder to appreciate all that is good in life)
- Celebrate accomplishments (instead of just moving to the next task!)
- Babysteps will take me where I want to go. (Two translations: first, don't get discouraged because there aren't leaps and bounds in progress. Second, doing a little bit toward the right direction is still progress.)
- I am allowed to _______ (relax, dream, plan, be silly... whatever harmless thing my "should" voice is telling me not to do)
- Don't take it personally. (Most people aggravate you because of something in their own lives, not a desire to make your life miserable).
- Smile, breathe, and go slowly. (Great advice from Thich Nhatt Hahn.)

There are more, but those are off the top of my head.
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I'm not sure if these are mantras, just things I often think to myself if I'm in a tough or boring situation.

"I can do anything for 15 minutes" (from FlyLady)

I love the following from Thich Nhat Hahn
"Breathing in I cool my body, breathing out I smile.
Living in the present moment, because it is a wonderful moment".

Another quote, from the same book, which I use when running, but can apply to lots of situations: "Peace is every step".

I like anything that reminds me to put aside mental chatter and live in the present. I often just observe my breath for a few minutes, without any mantra, or with a simple "Soh Ham - I am that". This always leaves me calm and positive, and ready for the next challenge.

Those are all so great. (: So refreshing!