Everyday Systems

So I had a wild S day weekend. Now I'm feeling guilty (stupid diethead). Any advice?

On Mondays I usually feel a dual anger - from the between meal hunger and because I ate so much the day before. By Friday I'm usually ok again.

I'm in the same boat....

I can only offer sympathy. I'm wishing I hadn't snacked as much, but gotten in a really nice dessert at some point, as I would probably do some really weird stuff to get my hands on some chocolate right now.

If you've been an emotional eater, it's likely you do a lot of blaming yourself and feeling bad, This is just an effect of the sugar and the habit. Those thoughts don't describe any valid interpretation and besides, they don't really make you eat less, so they aren't really useful. Trying to let them go will go a long way towards helping to interrupt the pattern.

You really can't afford to dump on yourself and certainly not if you haven't had several months of green N days under your belt.

Have you listened to the podcast on wild S days? It's good. (So is the book!)

I have embraced every day as a learning opportunity. Turns out that all of my previous mistakes did actually add up to something -- bits of wisdom that add up. If you give it time and practice, you will see. I hope that telling yourself that you are on track and that S days are part of the deal helps you feel calmer about it.

I have thought alot about Reinhardt's comment that S days are very often a good snapshot of how EVERY day used to be. When I think of it that way, I realize that 2/7ths of the week of overdoing it is way better than potentially 7/7.

finallyfull wrote:I realize that 2/7ths of the week of overdoing it is way better than potentially 7/7.

LOVE THIS!!!!

oolala53 wrote:If you've been an emotional eater, it's likely you do a lot of blaming yourself and feeling bad, This is just an effect of the sugar and the habit. Those thoughts don't describe any valid interpretation and besides, they don't really make you eat less, so they aren't really useful. Trying to let them go will go a long way towards helping to interrupt the pattern.

You really can't afford to dump on yourself and certainly not if you haven't had several months of green N days under your belt.

totally agree here! i definitely am/was an emotional eater and my first month on NoS i really beat myself up about my wild days . and i did gain some weight. but guess what, as time went on my sdays got less wild because i didn't feel bad about them. it was a magical process. now i almost don't care about food except my 3 meals. and now i dont' really feel guilt and diet head as much anymore . not to say I never feel it. i was a huge diethead before here. i would count calories, "macros" and was ridiculous. I would beat myself up if i was 30 calories over! now i look back and realize how crazy that was. i have a friend who still does the calorie counting and drives herself crazy and feels horrible about herself and i am so glad to be past that. it is so much more freedom to do this, but it does take time to break diethead mindset. also if you try to tell people they might have a problem with their level of "diethead" they won't accept it and get quite upset. so i've been keeping NoS as my thing and i think that is the easiest way to handle things! some people just aren't ready to abandon diethead yet. but when you do, it feels great. just give it time! i am still a recovering diethead.

Thanks everyone.

I'm just feeling frustrated because I'm up 3 pounds from where I started two weeks ago. I'm trying to keep the big picture in mind, that its about changing my habits, which should lead to weight loss. But its hard to do when my clothes are uncomfortably tight.

finallyfull wrote:I realize that 2/7ths of the week of overdoing it is way better than potentially 7/7.

When I eat bountiful sweets on the weekend, and get comments from my personal detractors, I'm like, do you know how much I was eating in private every day of the week, before? This is an improvement.

MJ7910 wrote: also if you try to tell people they might have a problem with their level of "diethead" they won't accept it and get quite upset. so i've been keeping NoS as my thing and i think that is the easiest way to handle things! some people just aren't ready to abandon diethead yet. but when you do, it feels great. just give it time! i am still a recovering diethead.

I have experienced this myself. The great thing about No S is that nobody has to even know you're "doing" anything. The only comments you might get is from jealous friends who see that you're thin but eating normal foods and portions.

How long have you been at it?

I've reported before about the experience of a man I know who lost 60 pounds over the course of a few years (not No S). He insists that he let go of all guilt over eating. He kept intermittent records of his weight and the TREND was downwards, though there were definite ups and downs. Now he is quite disciplined about his eating and working out, but still no guilt if misses a workout or overeats at times. He figures the exceptions don't count for much.

leafy_greens wrote:

finallyfull wrote:I realize that 2/7ths of the week of overdoing it is way better than potentially 7/7.

When I eat bountiful sweets on the weekend, and get comments from my personal detractors, I'm like, do you know how much I was eating in private every day of the week, before? This is an improvement.

MJ7910 wrote: also if you try to tell people they might have a problem with their level of "diethead" they won't accept it and get quite upset. so i've been keeping NoS as my thing and i think that is the easiest way to handle things! some people just aren't ready to abandon diethead yet. but when you do, it feels great. just give it time! i am still a recovering diethead.

I have experienced this myself. The great thing about No S is that nobody has to even know you're "doing" anything. The only comments you might get is from jealous friends who see that you're thin but eating normal foods and portions.

How long have you been at it?

well i tried NoS for the first time last June (2012) and i failed because i didn't give it a chance to work. then i went back to calorie counting. and i hated it. so i gave NoS another chance in February 2013. at first it was wild but i slowly am giving up diethead. some days are better than others. so i guess really only Feb, March, April so far. I felt more ready for NoS this time. I knew what to expect. I knew it would be wild at first, i'd probably gain some weight. but i promised myself i wouldn't freak out and go back to calorie counting. and i haven't. and i feel great. i feel so much more free than i used to. and you're right that no one even has to know you're doing anything.

Until middle age I was naturally thin, and it used to irritate me when people gawked at my normal moderate meals (when I had to eat at work, or out) and they frequently expressed resentment. But the truth was that I ate three moderate meals a day, of home-made food, and was generally satisfied so I didn't crave more or ever touch the vending machines or buy sweets to keep in my house, etc. Now that I have a couple decades on me, and fell into irregular eating patterns and middle-age weight creep, and I have had some experience with diets and diet head, I realize how striking it is in our society to eat normally! All the snacking and sweets have rendered moderate meals unusual. If I snack, I very well might eat a smaller lunch or dinner, or blow off breakfast. But if I eat three meals, they are going to look big compared to the meals of those who graze up to and after their meals.

Nobody would comment if I ate one crappy little "100 calorie pack" of dried out sad little cookies every single day of the week. In fact, they might think me virtuous. But if I eat one big fat delicious 700 calorie cookie thing once a week, I look like a glutton to the untrained eye. I definitely know which one appeals to me more. (also those sad little packs just make me want to eat everything in sight from the mere deprivation - they have a reverse effect on me.)

finallyfull wrote:Nobody would comment if I ate one crappy little "100 calorie pack" of dried out sad little cookies every single day of the week. In fact, they might think me virtuous. But if I eat one big fat delicious 700 calorie cookie thing once a week, I look like a glutton to the untrained eye. I definitely know which one appeals to me more. (also those sad little packs just make me want to eat everything in sight from the mere deprivation - they have a reverse effect on me.)

Yes, I agree! You know what I hate now? Energy bars. They are so disgusting to me when I could be eating a real meal. Also, most of them are chocolate flavored which I consider a dessert. When it's the weekend, and I can have any sweet I want, the last thing I want is an energy bar.

MJ7910 wrote:well i tried NoS for the first time last June (2012) and i failed because i didn't give it a chance to work. then i went back to calorie counting. and i hated it. so i gave NoS another chance in February 2013. at first it was wild but i slowly am giving up diethead. some days are better than others. so i guess really only Feb, March, April so far. I felt more ready for NoS this time. I knew what to expect. I knew it would be wild at first, i'd probably gain some weight. but i promised myself i wouldn't freak out and go back to calorie counting. and i haven't. and i feel great. i feel so much more free than i used to. and you're right that no one even has to know you're doing anything.

I experienced something similar of discovering No S, leaving, meandering in diet-land, then realizing I have to come back to No S. I think this is normal. No S is not easy, so I continued to look around for another "miracle" plan that was easier, perhaps one where I could eat chocolate all day yet not crave it, and still be gloriously thin. Unfortunately that plan does not exist, but there is a similar plan called No S where I can eat chocolate for 2 days and be ok. It may take time to figure that out.

I'm slightly chagrined to report that I caved and bought a pack of "energy" bars. Partly it was because they were on sale and partly because they were low sugar and high fiber. I guess I was thinking they were a way to add some fun to my meals? It doesn't make any sense to me now. They didn't taste good yet I ate 2.5 of them at a sitting on an N day! Barring unforeseen circumstances, never never never never again! A real "live" sandwich is always preferable to one of those things, and I can make it with almond butter and half a banana if I want sweet. Aack! Real food rocks!

Real food rocks![/quote]

Totally Agree!!!

I think as close as I've gotten to an energy bar is the occasional Lara bar. Or maybe a granola bar. I haven't had one of those in years and probably wouldn't be able to stand the taste of them now -- just like a lot of other things.

Not only does real food rock, it spoils you for the crappy food.

every day is something to learn from for the future...

Guilt is a subtle hint from the brain to change things next time... Next time, don't go so hog wild and perhaps the guilt will subdue itself...

Just remember to not beat yourself up though... you are human.

Being negative is not something we should do but it is something that we fall in to all too often... the media shoves nothing but bad news down our throats daily... but some places try to fix that... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-news/

Wish more did...

Guilt is a learned habit. No S is a learned habit that can help you break that habit. It's a tough thing to do but it is doable. Don't give up hope. Tomorrow the sun will come out and you have another chance.

I've found something interesting that's happening to me, already. I started No S on Wednesday the 5th, and I'm finding, after having one S weekend under my (large) belt so far, that already the desire to eat all kinds of crap all weekend doesn't seem so desirable. In fact, even on Saturday when we were out to breakfast, I was thinking about an N-day, thinking, Oh, well this is still one plate; big, yes, but still just one plate. Saturday evening I can't remember what we had, but it was still just one plate! And no snacks or seconds all day! And, actually only two meals. Then I realized, Oh, this is Saturday, I don't have to do this today! I just can't express how liberating that is, already! Sunday I only had two meals, one dessert, and a few drinks. But still no snacks or seconds! The dinner meal still just fit on one plate; can't say it was healthy at all, but hey, it was an S-day! Now the only other thing I need to do is this. Try to do a Glass Ceiling mod of no drinks on N-days, and one or two on S-days. I'm a post-menopausal woman, and have a muffin top that any shark would love to have for dessert, and a metabolism like a hibernating bear, but I'm gonna give this the rest of the month of June and see where I am. I reeeeeally hope this works; it truly is my last chance to get fixed.

Glad to hear of it.

I wish I could get to that point. I'm like the original poster overdo it on s days( usually Saturday is ok but Sundays I definitely overeat). I know what set me off today is not eating enough at lunch as we went out to eat and stupid diet head kept telling me not to eat all my meal so I left hungry and then had a small binge an hour later.

My only advise is try to stick to 3 meals a day on s days as well rather then grazing all day to make sure you are not hungry and then eat a desser or 2. This is what I'm going to try next weekend and hopefully I won't have this guilt Sunday night

My S days are nowadays more like Helenaz. I really enjoy 3 full meals at the weekend (and because we eat out alot at the weekend, they are full) but the big difference from NoS days are that lunch and dinner both tend to be followed by a yummy dessert. I don't like grazing anymore because I then feel too full to eat a nice main meal. And my main meals are so much more delicious than snack food.

Bssh wrote:My S days are nowadays more like Helenaz. I really enjoy 3 full meals at the weekend (and because we eat out alot at the weekend, they are full) but the big difference from NoS days are that lunch and dinner both tend to be followed by a yummy dessert. I don't like grazing anymore because I then feel too full to eat a nice main meal. And my main meals are so much more delicious than snack food.

I'm going to agree. As much as I like sweets, I love meals. I've also given up grazing and snacking in favor of meals with desserts. Grazing or snacking really do ruin my appetite. Snacks are for emergencies only, when the next meal is going to be seriously delayed.

Wosnes says:
"I've also given up grazing and snacking in favor of meals with desserts. Grazing or snacking really do ruin my appetite."

I've waited a year for my weekends to simmer down but it's not happening. I feel more frustrated with myself then guilty that I can't control this eating monster. Yesterday, I've decided (for future S days) to eat the three meals with some dessert afterwards and no snacking to ruin those meals. I'm a little wary of putting S day rules in place, but I don't have anything to lose (except, hopefully, frenzied eating).

noni wrote:
I've waited a year for my weekends to simmer down but it's not happening. I feel more frustrated with myself then guilty that I can't control this eating monster. Yesterday, I've decided (for future S days) to eat the three meals with some dessert afterwards and no snacking to ruin those meals. I'm a little wary of putting S day rules in place, but I don't have anything to lose (except, hopefully, frenzied eating).

My decision to not snack had nothing to do with S day behavior. I just realized that when I snacked I wasn't hungry for the next meal. However, when I ate a little more at a meal (dessert) it rarely affected my appetite for the next meal.

wosnes wrote:
"My decision to not snack had nothing to do with S day behavior. I just realized that when I snacked I wasn't hungry for the next meal."

It comes down to, What truly gives the most pleasure. I eat like a spoiled child.

leafy_greens wrote:I experienced something similar of discovering No S, leaving, meandering in diet-land, then realizing I have to come back to No S. I think this is normal. No S is not easy, so I continued to look around for another "miracle" plan that was easier, perhaps one where I could eat chocolate all day yet not crave it, and still be gloriously thin. Unfortunately that plan does not exist, but there is a similar plan called No S where I can eat chocolate for 2 days and be ok. It may take time to figure that out.

Ah, this could be me writing this, because I've been going through this exact same mental gymnastics too. Thanks to all of you all for your insights but today this one really hits home.

I'm going to make yet another radical suggestion: forget the guilt. So you had a wild S day or two (or even an N day). So what? Try not to make the next one so wild. That's it.