Everyday Systems

Hey all,

my name is Alex, 46, literary translator from Hamburg, Germany.#

This is my first week on no s. The 5 s days went amazingly well. Three straight meals, no s in sight. I found it really liberating because I otherwise graze all the time and have really disordered eating (the weight must come from somewhere).

I know it is surprising for a fat person but I am not big on sweet stuff. So that wasn't a problem for me. With me is as mentioned above the seconds and thirds and fours. And fatty food. Especially delivery pizza and burgers with fries etc.

So my mod is no really fatty food druring n days preferrably home cooked meals. No delivery stuff.

So today is my first no s day and i ordered a big pizza. And my problem: After having it I feel guilty and terrible. I could not enjoy at all and I wish I did not take an s day. But I know if I go to long without any letup I will binge, finally. Is this confusion and all the emotions that come with s days normal in the beginning? How did you guys handle it?

Thanks and Cheers,

Alex

The emotions you're going through are very normal, especially at the beginning.

I'll let you in on a secret. I've never limited things like pizza or a burger and fries to S days. If I want them, I have them at a meal. It may not be the healthiest meal, but it's at a meal.

Another secret: don't make any modifications initially. Eat what you normally eat, only at 3 meals daily. As time goes by you can change what you eat at meals. Initially concentrate on 3 meals daily, no snacks, seconds or sweets. That's enough to start.

Welcome and good luck!

Welcome, Alex! Home cooked food is a great habit to cultivate, guilt about food, not so much! Feeling shame about how we eat can actually lead to binges, they say. Just eat what you like and what fits on one plate three times a day during the week. Don't worry about the fat/carb/protein makeup of your meals -- that just perpetuates a diet mentality, which is what you want to escape.

On S days, have what you've been wanting all week -- if that's pizza, have pizza. And have it with a great sense of entitlement, not guilt: you've been moderate all week, you deserve it! Sometimes it turns out that you don't actually enjoy it as much as you thought you would -- that's all part of the learning process. And certainly don't feel obligated to eat a lot of junk! but don't feel guilty if you do. Almost everyone has over-the-top S days in the beginning. They are nothing to worry about!

I say this as gently as I can: you are kind of jumping the gun with worrying about your S days. You cannot judge at all what your S days are going to look like 6 months from now by what you do in the first few weeks.


Try not to micro-analyze what is going on in these first few months. That is diet head, when you are changing so much you have to think hard about it all. It has probably become a habit for you to think you have to think about it a lot or you'll screw it up. This is actually the opposite Plan scrumptious meals of all kinds of food you love for every day. Try to think that you are not on a diet. You are simply feeding yourself three times a day as a way to manage our food-rich environment. You'll go through phases of eating more or less and the pendulum will swing less and less. And then you'll just be eating, as millions of normal people do all over the world. They've had a lot of practice. Don't worry. You'll catch up.

Welcome, SisterH. I agree with the rest of the wise people here. Eat what you like during the week focusing on the structure of three moderate meals, no snacking. The content and even the volume of those meals will likely change. And the structure alone will be shaving off calories and changing binge habits in the meanwhile. Slow progress is what you are after. Not an immediate change of all the things you think are wrong with your eating.
Slow down. Enjoy your food. And then try not to worry about it in between meals. Too much thinking about food sucks away your life energy!
Trust this. NoS is sane and effective. It can be an amazing path to your goals. And you have a lot of great support here.
Be well,
Kat

SisterH,

S Days are just that. Enjoy them. Pizza or no pizza. That happens.

Keep up the good work on the N Days.

Sister H - No S is so different from all the other diets, where you are made to feel guilty for eating regular foods. It can take some time to adjust. If you keep your portion sizes to one plate, three times a day, there is no need for guilt.

Alex,
I know what you are going through. This is my first week. I have done a good job of avoiding all of the S's on the No S days. It has been harder than I thought. I love to mindlessly snack and some sweets are very attractive. I just love all food!

I think trying to retrain my brain is difficult! I had a healthy breakfast and then at lunch time I went and got a BigMac. I have not had a BigMac in years! I can't fathom what possessed me. Then, I got the feelings of guilt that are so ingrained in me. Then, I wanted the good times to continue and had to muster any and all willpower to stop myself from eating a candy bar.

I did not break any rules today. I am also trying to come around to the fact that I indulged for a meal and I should just enjoy it. It can't be worth it if it is peppered with guilt. I know I don't eat it often. It is just so hard to reprogram my thoughts and feelings towards food.

When you are making new habits, you are going to have VERY strong desires to participate in the old habits for quite awhile. That's what makes them habits! One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that their desires all day will support their desire to create a new habit. It doesn't usually work like that. You will be going against your natural urges for awhile. It's the TREND that's important, and it takes months and months to see a trend.

If it were easy, everyone would have done it by now.

But it is doable, and definitely more reasonable than most plans. Hold out!