Balance and Boundaries
Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:30 pm
I had an interesting epiphany today. Oddly enough, it had zero to do with eating in that moment, but everything to do with self-discipline and appropriate pleasure.
My parents will be coming to visit in a few weeks, and I've not been home to give the house the detailed care I prefer to. I've let stress in other areas give me permission not to do some routine things that I prefer to have done so that my surrounding are at the level that makes me happy. (I'm not into the white glove thing, but boy howdy do I prefer clean and uncluttered)
So, I took out my list of routine chores and tried to decide if I could reasonably spread them out over three weeks to do them without making myself nuts (moderation isn't just for food, after all). When I realized it was reasonably possible, I made a list of chores for each day to accomplish -- none of them taking more than fifteen minutes or so each, but the accumulated effort would bring my house back into the state I like best.
I was feeling unmotivated today, and had this thought, "You KNOW what state you're going to want the house in when your parents arrive. What would you rather do: putter around and get these things done at a leisurely pace doing three or four things today, or be stressed out in a couple of weeks trying to do ten in a day?"
Of course, that's an obvious no-brainer when you look at it like that.
And it's a question I don't ask myself often enough when dealing with food. While I've always hated the "moment on the lips, forever on the hips" mindset, asking myself how I'm going to feel tomorrow about whether or not I stuck to my habits TODAY is a good question.
But like a lot of things, people take this mindset too far. They will go all or nothing on things, and try to live totally in the future or utterly in the present. And that lack of balance is what gets us in trouble. For instance, we don't often ask ourselves, "How am I going to feel tomorrow about having not participated in that celebration (which is often an S-day) because I was 'dieting'? Will that make me happy to feel always on the outside of things?" "Will a lifetime of all work and no reward make me any happier than a life of all self-indulgence and no work?"
So, yes, I am going to do my three or four planned chores today because I have time to do it at a leisurely pace and then I will screw around on the Internet writing essays because that's a rewarding thing to do, too.
And since it's an S-day, I might even have dessert.
My parents will be coming to visit in a few weeks, and I've not been home to give the house the detailed care I prefer to. I've let stress in other areas give me permission not to do some routine things that I prefer to have done so that my surrounding are at the level that makes me happy. (I'm not into the white glove thing, but boy howdy do I prefer clean and uncluttered)
So, I took out my list of routine chores and tried to decide if I could reasonably spread them out over three weeks to do them without making myself nuts (moderation isn't just for food, after all). When I realized it was reasonably possible, I made a list of chores for each day to accomplish -- none of them taking more than fifteen minutes or so each, but the accumulated effort would bring my house back into the state I like best.
I was feeling unmotivated today, and had this thought, "You KNOW what state you're going to want the house in when your parents arrive. What would you rather do: putter around and get these things done at a leisurely pace doing three or four things today, or be stressed out in a couple of weeks trying to do ten in a day?"
Of course, that's an obvious no-brainer when you look at it like that.
And it's a question I don't ask myself often enough when dealing with food. While I've always hated the "moment on the lips, forever on the hips" mindset, asking myself how I'm going to feel tomorrow about whether or not I stuck to my habits TODAY is a good question.
But like a lot of things, people take this mindset too far. They will go all or nothing on things, and try to live totally in the future or utterly in the present. And that lack of balance is what gets us in trouble. For instance, we don't often ask ourselves, "How am I going to feel tomorrow about having not participated in that celebration (which is often an S-day) because I was 'dieting'? Will that make me happy to feel always on the outside of things?" "Will a lifetime of all work and no reward make me any happier than a life of all self-indulgence and no work?"
So, yes, I am going to do my three or four planned chores today because I have time to do it at a leisurely pace and then I will screw around on the Internet writing essays because that's a rewarding thing to do, too.
And since it's an S-day, I might even have dessert.
... I love my food!