Everyday Systems

but I don't think DH will let me. He's kind of paranoid about danger and accidents and stuff (which is good because that means he cares).

I would walk a lot of places if I could make him believe I'd be safe.

You're not the first woman to report this here.

Frankly, I understand his concern. I worry when my wife walks away from the house, too. She brings the dog which helps, and a cell phone, but I'd be happier if she would bring pepper spray.

SimpleLife wrote:but I don't think DH will let me. He's kind of paranoid about danger and accidents and stuff (which is good because that means he cares).

I would walk a lot of places if I could make him believe I'd be safe.

Obviously accidents and such happen -- no matter where you live. But really, assuming you're being careful, you're safer walking than you are in your car.

I hear of very few people being attacked (by people or animals) when out walking. While pedestrians being hit by cars isn't unheard of, most often it's when they are they're walking in the street in high traffic areas.

I do carry my cell phone when I walk, but it's not because I might need to report a crime! It's because I have health issues and it's possible, though not probable, that I might need emergency help.

You have to be careful about when and where you walk. Unless there are a lot of people around, I don't walk anywhere after dark. When the dog needs to go out in the evening, we stay very close to home.

Leslie Sansone has walking DVD's that you do at home in front of the t.v. It is marching in place, side steps etc.

I much prefer to walk outside, but when I can't because of darkness or weather conditions I walk in place in front of the t.v

i think you should go.. i think his worries are paranoid as you mention and unless you are walking through a really bad area, at night, i wouldn't worry.
i am sure your husband cares about you, but it sounds like you would like to get out and go and shouldn't be stuck at home cos of this.
maybe convince him to go with you a few times and come up with a predictable route in advance. this way if you are late or anything, at least he knows where to look for you in case you have an accident.
good luck.

You are a competent adult, not a toddler. No one should be forbidding you to walk. It's good that he cares, but you can't let his paranoia about safety set unreasonable limits on your life -- it's not like you want to take up bungee-jumping!

Walk where you'll be around other people, and/or during daylight hours. Don't walk in the street. Carry a phone. And live your life like the intelligent adult you are.

This is an excellent idea.

gratefuldeb67 wrote:...
maybe convince him to go with you a few times and come up with a predictable route in advance. this way if you are late or anything, at least he knows where to look for you in case you have an accident.
good luck.

Get a dog. German Shepards (sp?) are wonderful family dogs and easy to train. They are friendly, but at the first sign of danger they are very protective. Doggy loves to walk. You will have company on your walk who will keep pace with you and will listen to your thoughts.

If it's not possible to have a dog, I agree with gratefuldeb67. Also, have your cell phone with you and maybe a pepper spray. Range only during daylight hours in busy areas.

Kevin wrote:This is an excellent idea.

gratefuldeb67 wrote:...
maybe convince him to go with you a few times and come up with a predictable route in advance. this way if you are late or anything, at least he knows where to look for you in case you have an accident.
good luck.

Agreed! If he knows your route, and you both deem it to be safe and performed during the daytime, no reason to not do it!

If you are really lucky, maybe he will go on the walks with you to keep you safe.....

Thanks for the comments and advice.

I've even considered driving to work and then parking a certain distance away, like at a shopping center and walking. We have nice sidewalks in the area where I work.

SimpleLife wrote:Thanks for the comments and advice.

I've even considered driving to work and then parking a certain distance away, like at a shopping center and walking. We have nice sidewalks in the area where I work.

What about going to a park to walk, as opposed to walking to a specific destination? I drive 15 minutes to the park that I UR at.

You can also walk on your lunch break. You still get the same benefits without needing to sack your car

koopa wrote:What about going to a park to walk, as opposed to walking to a specific destination? I drive 15 minutes to the park that I UR at.

You can also walk on your lunch break. You still get the same benefits without needing to sack your car

I only work four hours in the evenings so I don't get a break. I am home with my little baby most days. I could go to a park with the baby but don't know if DH will feel safe with that either (and I'm OK with his safety requests because there have been things he has wanted to do that I didn't think were safe and he refrained for my sake). Everybody I know works in the daytime so I can't walk with anyone. I have a treadmill but it is soooooooooooooooo boring! I would much rather enjoy the open air and nature and walk with a purpose to a destination.

SimpleLife wrote:

koopa wrote:What about going to a park to walk, as opposed to walking to a specific destination? I drive 15 minutes to the park that I UR at.

You can also walk on your lunch break. You still get the same benefits without needing to sack your car

I only work four hours in the evenings so I don't get a break. I am home with my little baby most days. I could go to a park with the baby but don't know if DH will feel safe with that either (and I'm OK with his safety requests because there have been things he has wanted to do that I didn't think were safe and he refrained for my sake). Everybody I know works in the daytime so I can't walk with anyone. I have a treadmill but it is soooooooooooooooo boring! I would much rather enjoy the open air and nature and walk with a purpose to a destination.

The fact that you work in the evenings gives you a perfect opportunity to walk in a safe park with the baby. You should have DH go with you to local parks and find ones that are safe to walk in during the day.

I have been to several parks, and even during the day some of them are a bit....sketchy. I understand his concerns. With that said, there are also a lot of safe areas to walk around in.

If you work with him to determine which areas are safe, bring a cell phone, and if you are Kevin's wife, pepper spray, there is no reason why you and your child can't enjoy the outdoors for an hour or so.

Granted, I'm sure I live in a different area than you do, but I let my wife bring my child to several parks without a worry, even a few in NYC.

Thanks koopa

We did go to one last week that is about 5 minutes from home. It is nice but secluded because the walking trail goes through the woods. So I didn't feel so comfortable with that one. I will have to peruse the area to see if we have one that is close by and not so secluded. I'll let him approve it. I do have a hiking stick that I can take along with me. Pepper spray will be a good addition.


A park will have to do since we don't live in an area that allows for walking to the market. No sidewalks and everything is very far away with busy roads.

Baby loves to ride in the stroller so he is always pleased with a walk no matter where we go

The Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds series is great. My mother-in-law does a 2 mile walk every morning, and she is losing weight. I would also suggest getting a pedometer and maybe going to the nearest indoor mall (most have a mall-walkers club), or maybe even a store like Home Depot or Sam's Club, where you can walk a good amount indoors.

The odds of being accosted in broad daylight are fairly slim. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but it doesn't happen frequently. We tend to remember the cases where it does happen because the victims are young, attractive women and the cases are rather high profile. The statistics show that a woman is most likely to be assaulted by someone she knows in her home or other private location.

Check around for a self defense class. Good self defense happens before an assailant even identifies you as a victim. Ask if DH would be ok with you walking if you had self defense classes and bear spray. Pepper spray is too weeny in my opinion.

start shovelgloving and when you walk, carry a sledgehammer. Fairly intimidating weapon to any potential assailant.

Thalia wrote:You are a competent adult, not a toddler. No one should be forbidding you to walk. It's good that he cares, but you can't let his paranoia about safety set unreasonable limits on your life -- it's not like you want to take up bungee-jumping!

Walk where you'll be around other people, and/or during daylight hours. Don't walk in the street. Carry a phone. And live your life like the intelligent adult you are.

YES.

Thalia wrote:You are a competent adult, not a toddler. No one should be forbidding you to walk. It's good that he cares, but you can't let his paranoia about safety set unreasonable limits on your life -- it's not like you want to take up bungee-jumping!

Walk where you'll be around other people, and/or during daylight hours. Don't walk in the street. Carry a phone. And live your life like the intelligent adult you are.

A quality and legitimate answer. This doesn't seem like a compromise situation.

Best wishes.