Everyday Systems

In general, I'm pretty solitary. Swimming, weight training and other non-social forms of exercise are favorites of mine.

But lately, my husband and I have been taking a walk after dinner. The weather has been nice, we live in a little New England town where there are plenty of sidewalks and stuff, so we live in a really good place to walk.

This isn't like some big deal. We take a half an hour and walk a couple of miles wandering around -- not "walking for exercise", but just... hanging out and enjoying a summer evening, talking about anything and everything, fantasizing about buying this mansion for sale on the green. Just everyday stuff.

I'm liking it because it gives us a chance to chat and reconnect at the end of the day. I know Reinhard talks about walking to think, or when he isn't sure what to do or whatever, but I think one to add to the list is walking to hang out with people you're close to.

Years ago, I heard a talk by a therapist who had studied spouse murderers. (Yikes!) This led to research on fighting in marriage. Many fighters didn't have other good shared activities. After teaching fighting couples some better interaction, he also recommended they take a 20-30 minute walk together each day, if possible, just sharing the day or whatever (except contentious topics). It was a very effective habit.